Jessica infamous saturdays
today is obviously saturday, that means jessica is on my list of things to do today... i mean going to her house tonight. So i Told her that i talekd to my docter and she was very proud of me. So now i should get rid of my random mood swings and all that shit, get rid of my panic attacks and my depression in a few weeks. So i dunno, im just scared about what if i dont realize its gone or what if it doesnt go away or i dunno. i guess cause i have lived with it for 6 or so years that its kind of a security, sound weird but having something to battle for a long time ad not having it i cant even imagine. I started packin up my room a little bit today. I just cant wait to leave, classes start in august and i hope im out of here soon. The only one who seems tobe beggin me to stay and not wanting me to go is jessica. Uhm, yea im gonna go see joe nappy up at java house for a little while today cause he is playing with his band i wnna go see him. Kevin is gonna come home soon and i should be all better by then =), i dont remeber what it feels like to be truly happy... i can remember back in november when everything in my life made some kind of sense, now it just feels like the world is spinning more than once in a day and i cant seem to keep up with everything. But its okay things may seem alittle clearer and i can owe it all to a little green and white pill. It weird what they do with medicine these dys. My parents dont know im taking prozac so when they went to the drugstore yesterday the pharmacist said i already picked something up and last night we got into a fight about it last night. They are gonna ask me why but its obvious, they dont sem to notice the cuts and scars on my arms and the way i lock myself in my room for hours at times and all i seem to do lately is sleep, they miss it all and they are just gonna want me tostop taking it but i am so tired of feeling this way and im tired of losing friendship because of it. No one can seem to understand except jessica cause she went through it so when i told Henry he was just like "are you serious?" It made me feel bad cause ic ant help feeling like i do and i cant help being up set all the time. I dunno well im out until later after jesscias hosueand that will probably be tomorrows.
~nicki~
quote: When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.
no convo today yet
~nicki~
quote: When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.
no convo today yet