Unattainable - Part 6
Unattainable
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama
Summary: He didn't understand how a man could be so indifferent yet care so much. The man who never seemed to truly leave his memories and continues to haunt him from his past. Yet every time he reaches towards that memory, he simply vanishes.
// Part 6 //
Donghae was aware of his eyes watching him as he sat in his chair of his office.
"Is there something you want?" He asked.
His observer had eventually stepped forward from his hiding, offering a guilty smile. Leeteuk shifted slightly. "Just, if you need anything-"
"I'll be sure to call you." Donghae reassured as he looked back at his files, Leeteuk nodded and gave a quick bow as he left his office. He knew Leeteuk was looking out for him, ever since then he's always been checking up on him.
"I really am alright." He said once again to Leeteuk who nearly followed him into the bathroom. His personal assistant bowed embarrassingly as he walked back.
Donghae shook his head, Leeteuk really was more of a parental figure than anyone he's ever met. Even his own parents were never this attentive, at least for his own sake, and neither was Eunhyuk.
He winced slightly at his name. It was true that he was hardly ever fully kind to him, but it would be a lie to say that the other never showed care. For that reason, he knew he wasn't overall a bad character as people perceived him to be. As hehad initially thought of him to be.
It had now been weeks since that incident, long enough that he wondered if just maybe he had left already, not that he would receive any warning if he had. At that thought he felt his chest tighten, he wished he could feel relief as any other person would feel.
Donghae couldn't return to his office, instead walking the emergency stairs all the way to the roof. Once he stepped onto that roof-top, he felt the cold air rush in, reminding him of the still hovering winter.
It was a brutal wind, an overpowering chill as the skies were darkening at such an early hour. He took a step forward when he felt a hand on his forearm.
"I appreciate life more than you think." Donghae replied, turning towards a apprehensive Leeteuk.
"I rather not take any chances, sometimes emotion tend to make people irrational."
Donghae chuckled softly. "Unfortunately, I know that a little too well."
He continued to watch the urban scenery before him, Leeteuk's hand still securely latched onto his forearm.
Donghae outstretched his hand in front of him, clenching his fingers over nothing. "It's impossible." He murmured quietly, he unclenched his hand as the wind passing through his fingers.
It was long after when Donghae heard a stomach growl, he turned around and faced Leeteuk who turned away embarrassingly. "Hungry?"
"Starving." Leeteuk corrected.
"Lets go then."
"But you have other meetings- Sir? Sir! Where are you going?"
Soon enough they were walking back onto the streets, forgoing the car once again. Leeteuk was heading for a particular street when Donghae stopped him.
"Let's... Let's go to a different place this time." Donghae murmured, wanting to change his routine, no matter how insignificant it was.
When they did reach the restaurant, he listened as Leeteuk talked, raising his own glass to drink.
Leeteuk soon noticed his boss had seemed entranced by something.
"Are you alright?" Donghae blinked as he was snapped out of it, concern etched onto Leeteuk's face.
Donghae offered his own smile, assuming the facade as he placed his glass back on the table. "I'm fine."
Throughout that dinner, he felt he had done well, he kept his attention solely on their conversation. He felt some of his laughs were somewhat forced, but he wanted to seem as cheerful as he could possibly act. An act to prove to Leeteuk that he at least looked alright, even when he felt he was breaking into pieces.
Especially as his eyes continually checked the vague reflection his glass that showed the busboy behind them who cleaned the table.
Their dinner was nearly finished when he received the checkbook, he opened it and read it fully. He remained indifferent as he placed his credit card in and closed it. Afterward waiting until it returned, Donghae smiled as he walked with Leeteuk outside.
"I'll have a car pick you up."
Leeteuk arched an eyebrow. "Are you not going?"
"I want to walk a bit on my own." He dialed the number and asked for the car to come around to the address, closing his phone when he felt Leeteuk's hand patting his shoulder. "I'm fine."
The car had soon come around, Leeteuk opened the door on his own when he looked back worriedly.
"Just call me if you need anything." Donghae nodded, but that didn't dampen the other's hesitance one bit.
"I'll be fine." He reassured, his tone light, waving as the car left.
He lowered his hand and shivered slightly as the cold enveloped him, staring as the night settled in. He had to work on his breathing, he knew this weather would be bad for him but he persisted in staying. He had grown to be just as stubborn as he was.
He walked by alley, waiting as customers inside the restaurant left one by one. Even when the lights had turned off and eventually closed for the night. Until finally the door by the alley opened, its light intruding on the darkness. A man dressed in casual attire had stepped onto the pavement.
He watched as the man lit up a cigarette, the smoke appearing as he stayed a distance away.
"I'm afraid to ask how you knew I would be here." Donghae called out. "First the delivery place and then-"
Eunhyuk exhaled. "I never worked at that other place, the delivery boy got the tip he wanted, and I dealt with it."
"Knowing that I ordered it?"
"You order the same thing every time, it wasn't difficult to figure out."
Donghae shifted his gaze around. "I thought you left. You haven't been coming around."
"You were pissing me off." Eunhyuk explained dryly. "More than usual at least."
Donghae tried to walk closer when Eunhyuk sent a glare his way. "Stay there." He uttered, Donghae blinked as he watched Eunhyuk exhale the smoke once again.
A passing thought reminded him how often Eunhyuk had said such orders whenever he smoked. Ever since their incident in the hallway, he was always careful.
"Why do you have to hang around that guy so much?"
The thoughts disappeared instantly. "You may think you have the authority to know every decision of mines, I'm sorry to say you really don't. This jealously of yours I don't need to listen to."
Eunhyuk glowered at him. "This comes from the man who's unable to make a decision on his own. You should be more grateful when someone is willing to help you."
"Which is why I am, to Leeteuk." He added icily.
"Such a self-righteous guy."
Donghae gave a twisted smile. "So much more than you'll ever be. Why did you suddenly decide to return? Bored and thought 'why not see how many other ways we can screw with Donghae's mind today?'"
Eunhyuk narrowed his eyes at his accusation. "It was never like that-"
"Oh really? Then what reason would there to be see me again? Especially when you're so intent on leaving once I think that just maybe-" He stopped himself.
He took a deep breath, shifting his eyes away towards the brick wall in front of him.
"For once, I wished it would be the one thing you would actually commit to." He finished.
"Things changed." Eunhyuk said scornfully, throwing his cigarette to the ground, stomping on it with more force than necessary. Donghae shook his head.
"Right, they do, unfortunately you never seem to." Donghae muttered bitterly, his eyes locking with his as he stood before him. "Must be convincing enough for you to come back here."
"It was." Eunhyuk replied through clenched teeth.
"What could it have been? Last time you didn't seem to like this place much either. Instead of shivering from the cold, I should have it seen as you about ready to take off as you always do."
"Whether you believe it or not, I do have reasons why I even choose to come back here." He spat out as he stepped even closer towards him. "I stayed more than two years here, more than I ever had in any other place-"
Donghae laughed once again, interrupting him completely. "Am I supposed to be impressed by that?"
"Yes, you are. You're the only reason I chose not to go up and leave when I wanted to, when I had to!"
"We saw how long that lasted. Maybe you hadn't liked me as you much as you thought."
He felt every bit of anger coarse through him, and it seemed even Eunhyuk was barely composing himself either. "I can't afford to be close to anyone, to hold onto anything. The fact that I love you doesn't change anything. It isn't that easy."
Donghae repeated the word he heard clearly in that sentence. His first instinct was to immediately disbelieve his words.
Eunhyuk had never once showed pure emotion to him, only glimpses that he had often thought he imagined. The only time he had ever heard anything close to a confession was when he had said he liked him, but he had to be mocking him as before.
But as he looked at his expression, he felt that somehow it was readable, that somehow he could believe him. Except it was impossible.
He rubbed his head from the headache that was forming. "Stop lying..." His voice was weaker. "You can't possibly be in love with me. Tell me the truth for once instead of avoiding everything."
Eunyhuk scoffed. "Why? Because apparently someone as cruel as me is incapable of actually feeling that way?"
"No. Because if you did love me, you wouldn't have left me!"
His heart tore at the pain that reemerged with a vengeance.
"If you had actually gave a damn about me then you wouldn't have left me behind!"
Donghae felt his throat constrict and fought the painful stinging of his eyes, he pulled the collar of his shirt as he gasped for breath.
His harsh intakes of breath alerted Eunhyuk who immediately rushed over to his side but Donghae shoved him away. "I'm fine."
"I don't care if you're fine or not, but no way in hell I'm letting you die in front of me."
Donghae gave a weak bitter laugh, contradicting as always. He leaned against the brick wall behind him and begun his breathing exercises.
The cold air seared his throat and made it difficult for him to breathe properly, he leaned forward slightly. Eunhyuk instantly reached and hoisted him up, Donghae wanted to push him away, but it wouldn't do any good. His eyes focused on his arms that held him, his fingers that moved his damp hair from his forehead.
His actions spurred past memories, the kind acts that had caused him to develop his initial feelings for the man. He wanted to despise him, wanting to remind himself of the pain he suffered from his twisted heart. But even now as Eunhyuk stayed there with him, he could feel the affection resurfacing.
He swayed so easily.
Most times when he was alone, when he needed someone, why did it have to be Eunhyuk who appeared? Whether deliberate or not, why did they always cross paths?
He knew that even now, it was impossible to completely erase his affection for the other. He lowered his head, his hands reaching out when they met with his chest.
The heart was beating rapidly, but somehow it wasn't his own.
They stayed like that for easily more than an hour, Eunhyuk continued to wait until Donghae had resumed normal breathing.
"I'm fine now." His voice raspy.
Eunhyuk sighed as he looked at Donghae's weakened state. "I'll take you home-"
"You can't." Donghae mustered out in his ragged breathing. "You can't."
His voice broke slightly, the painful memories returning at full force.
"You'll make me hopeful again, you'll make me think you can change..."
He couldn't continue down that route. It took all he had to dismiss of his enduring feelings for him, to stop himself from acting on them, holding back from giving in.
"You'll make me think you might actually stay this time." Donghae looked up, meeting his eyes as he begged. "Don't make me go through that again... Please." Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, he gave a weak shove towards Eunhyuk. "I can't handle another rejection from you."
It was quiet as he stifled the sounds that escaped his throat, unable to face Eunhyuk and see what expression he had. Not daring to see his reaction.
The phone was moved from his pocket, one of his contacts dialed and was given directions and orders. Once finished he handed it back and waited.
Soon enough a car appeared by the restaurant, Leeteuk rushed out from the driver's door and hurried towards him, offering his own hands.
Donghae collapsed into Leeteuk's arms and allowed himself to be helped into the passenger seat. He shivered as he felt the cold leather seats when he looked from the corner of his eyes. Eunhyuk was still there by the sidewalk, wearing his familiar cryptic expression.
He had to come to terms to that conclusion, that no matter how much he had desired to know Eunhyuk he would never be able to figure him out. And he had to stop trying, some things weren't meant to be discovered.
Eunhyuk had met his eyes and determinedly turned away.
He felt relief wash over him as the car began to move and knew that soon enough he would no longer be able to see Eunhyuk. He fought against his heart's intentions in looking back as he always had. He fought that familiar urge, for his eyes to follow the other no matter where he was, no matter how long they had known one another.
He clutched the seats until he knew for sure they were no longer there.
He wished that for once that sleep would be kind to him, letting him to rest and forget everything, but his insomnia still halted his attempts, cruelly letting those memories fuel furiously throughout the night.
Instead he wallowed endlessly in such memories, unable to forget.
-
Flashback
“What’s wrong?” He remembers asking, still just a college student who walked in Eunhyuk’s apartment unannounced. It had only been a few months after he decided to stay at Donghae’s pleading.
He glanced at the frustrated man who laid back against the wall, settled on the floor.
Donghae prepared the his assignments on the floor and placed the bag of dinner boxes beside it. At his question, Eunhyuk gave the same warning look. “I should know what keeps bothering you,” Donghae defended. “We’re good friends.”
Eunhyuk arched an eyebrow at the misplaced term. "And here I thought you wanted more than that."
Donghae pretended that it wasn’t, focused on untying the bag but found his hands couldn’t open the stubborn knot. A pair of hands then reached around him, but teared apart the bag instead.
Whatever bothered Eunhyuk no longer looked like a priority, pressed against the assignments and the ignored bag, Eunhyuk hovered above the flustered student. “I won’t go around in circles just because you want me to.”
“You’re just going for what you want?” Donghae asked blankly, taking the position they were in rather lightly to his own surprise.
Eunhyuk smirked, “So wrapped up in the idea of pretending you feel nothing for me, assuming I should hold back in my own advances. Honestly, if the world was as saintly as you, there’d be no one left.”
“Are you just using me?”
Eunhyuk applied more force than necessary against his arms, “how insecure can you be? Stop over thinking everything, and just take this as it is.”
Donghae's eyes stayed locked with his, "And what is this?" He knew he sounded hopeful, that Eunhyuk could hear the eager in his voice.
Eunhyuk sneered, "If you stopped asking, then you'd know."
Donghae didn’t bother lying any further, embracing the blaring truth as he accepted Eunhyuk’s initiative.
Eunhyuk would never have it, to be simply be friends. Donghae knew he couldn’t either. It was all or nothing.
| Part 5 | - | Part 7A |
A/N: Almost done with this story! To think I wrote this so long ago, and somewhat remembering my thought process... Should possibly add angst to the genre.
I'll be on a week long trip, and to be honest not too sure if I'll have access to a computer. But the final chaps will either be uploaded during my time off, or when I return.
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama
Summary: He didn't understand how a man could be so indifferent yet care so much. The man who never seemed to truly leave his memories and continues to haunt him from his past. Yet every time he reaches towards that memory, he simply vanishes.
// Part 6 //
Donghae was aware of his eyes watching him as he sat in his chair of his office.
"Is there something you want?" He asked.
His observer had eventually stepped forward from his hiding, offering a guilty smile. Leeteuk shifted slightly. "Just, if you need anything-"
"I'll be sure to call you." Donghae reassured as he looked back at his files, Leeteuk nodded and gave a quick bow as he left his office. He knew Leeteuk was looking out for him, ever since then he's always been checking up on him.
"I really am alright." He said once again to Leeteuk who nearly followed him into the bathroom. His personal assistant bowed embarrassingly as he walked back.
Donghae shook his head, Leeteuk really was more of a parental figure than anyone he's ever met. Even his own parents were never this attentive, at least for his own sake, and neither was Eunhyuk.
He winced slightly at his name. It was true that he was hardly ever fully kind to him, but it would be a lie to say that the other never showed care. For that reason, he knew he wasn't overall a bad character as people perceived him to be. As hehad initially thought of him to be.
It had now been weeks since that incident, long enough that he wondered if just maybe he had left already, not that he would receive any warning if he had. At that thought he felt his chest tighten, he wished he could feel relief as any other person would feel.
Donghae couldn't return to his office, instead walking the emergency stairs all the way to the roof. Once he stepped onto that roof-top, he felt the cold air rush in, reminding him of the still hovering winter.
It was a brutal wind, an overpowering chill as the skies were darkening at such an early hour. He took a step forward when he felt a hand on his forearm.
"I appreciate life more than you think." Donghae replied, turning towards a apprehensive Leeteuk.
"I rather not take any chances, sometimes emotion tend to make people irrational."
Donghae chuckled softly. "Unfortunately, I know that a little too well."
He continued to watch the urban scenery before him, Leeteuk's hand still securely latched onto his forearm.
Donghae outstretched his hand in front of him, clenching his fingers over nothing. "It's impossible." He murmured quietly, he unclenched his hand as the wind passing through his fingers.
It was long after when Donghae heard a stomach growl, he turned around and faced Leeteuk who turned away embarrassingly. "Hungry?"
"Starving." Leeteuk corrected.
"Lets go then."
"But you have other meetings- Sir? Sir! Where are you going?"
Soon enough they were walking back onto the streets, forgoing the car once again. Leeteuk was heading for a particular street when Donghae stopped him.
"Let's... Let's go to a different place this time." Donghae murmured, wanting to change his routine, no matter how insignificant it was.
When they did reach the restaurant, he listened as Leeteuk talked, raising his own glass to drink.
Leeteuk soon noticed his boss had seemed entranced by something.
"Are you alright?" Donghae blinked as he was snapped out of it, concern etched onto Leeteuk's face.
Donghae offered his own smile, assuming the facade as he placed his glass back on the table. "I'm fine."
Throughout that dinner, he felt he had done well, he kept his attention solely on their conversation. He felt some of his laughs were somewhat forced, but he wanted to seem as cheerful as he could possibly act. An act to prove to Leeteuk that he at least looked alright, even when he felt he was breaking into pieces.
Especially as his eyes continually checked the vague reflection his glass that showed the busboy behind them who cleaned the table.
Their dinner was nearly finished when he received the checkbook, he opened it and read it fully. He remained indifferent as he placed his credit card in and closed it. Afterward waiting until it returned, Donghae smiled as he walked with Leeteuk outside.
"I'll have a car pick you up."
Leeteuk arched an eyebrow. "Are you not going?"
"I want to walk a bit on my own." He dialed the number and asked for the car to come around to the address, closing his phone when he felt Leeteuk's hand patting his shoulder. "I'm fine."
The car had soon come around, Leeteuk opened the door on his own when he looked back worriedly.
"Just call me if you need anything." Donghae nodded, but that didn't dampen the other's hesitance one bit.
"I'll be fine." He reassured, his tone light, waving as the car left.
He lowered his hand and shivered slightly as the cold enveloped him, staring as the night settled in. He had to work on his breathing, he knew this weather would be bad for him but he persisted in staying. He had grown to be just as stubborn as he was.
He walked by alley, waiting as customers inside the restaurant left one by one. Even when the lights had turned off and eventually closed for the night. Until finally the door by the alley opened, its light intruding on the darkness. A man dressed in casual attire had stepped onto the pavement.
He watched as the man lit up a cigarette, the smoke appearing as he stayed a distance away.
"I'm afraid to ask how you knew I would be here." Donghae called out. "First the delivery place and then-"
Eunhyuk exhaled. "I never worked at that other place, the delivery boy got the tip he wanted, and I dealt with it."
"Knowing that I ordered it?"
"You order the same thing every time, it wasn't difficult to figure out."
Donghae shifted his gaze around. "I thought you left. You haven't been coming around."
"You were pissing me off." Eunhyuk explained dryly. "More than usual at least."
Donghae tried to walk closer when Eunhyuk sent a glare his way. "Stay there." He uttered, Donghae blinked as he watched Eunhyuk exhale the smoke once again.
A passing thought reminded him how often Eunhyuk had said such orders whenever he smoked. Ever since their incident in the hallway, he was always careful.
"Why do you have to hang around that guy so much?"
The thoughts disappeared instantly. "You may think you have the authority to know every decision of mines, I'm sorry to say you really don't. This jealously of yours I don't need to listen to."
Eunhyuk glowered at him. "This comes from the man who's unable to make a decision on his own. You should be more grateful when someone is willing to help you."
"Which is why I am, to Leeteuk." He added icily.
"Such a self-righteous guy."
Donghae gave a twisted smile. "So much more than you'll ever be. Why did you suddenly decide to return? Bored and thought 'why not see how many other ways we can screw with Donghae's mind today?'"
Eunhyuk narrowed his eyes at his accusation. "It was never like that-"
"Oh really? Then what reason would there to be see me again? Especially when you're so intent on leaving once I think that just maybe-" He stopped himself.
He took a deep breath, shifting his eyes away towards the brick wall in front of him.
"For once, I wished it would be the one thing you would actually commit to." He finished.
"Things changed." Eunhyuk said scornfully, throwing his cigarette to the ground, stomping on it with more force than necessary. Donghae shook his head.
"Right, they do, unfortunately you never seem to." Donghae muttered bitterly, his eyes locking with his as he stood before him. "Must be convincing enough for you to come back here."
"It was." Eunhyuk replied through clenched teeth.
"What could it have been? Last time you didn't seem to like this place much either. Instead of shivering from the cold, I should have it seen as you about ready to take off as you always do."
"Whether you believe it or not, I do have reasons why I even choose to come back here." He spat out as he stepped even closer towards him. "I stayed more than two years here, more than I ever had in any other place-"
Donghae laughed once again, interrupting him completely. "Am I supposed to be impressed by that?"
"Yes, you are. You're the only reason I chose not to go up and leave when I wanted to, when I had to!"
"We saw how long that lasted. Maybe you hadn't liked me as you much as you thought."
He felt every bit of anger coarse through him, and it seemed even Eunhyuk was barely composing himself either. "I can't afford to be close to anyone, to hold onto anything. The fact that I love you doesn't change anything. It isn't that easy."
Donghae repeated the word he heard clearly in that sentence. His first instinct was to immediately disbelieve his words.
Eunhyuk had never once showed pure emotion to him, only glimpses that he had often thought he imagined. The only time he had ever heard anything close to a confession was when he had said he liked him, but he had to be mocking him as before.
But as he looked at his expression, he felt that somehow it was readable, that somehow he could believe him. Except it was impossible.
He rubbed his head from the headache that was forming. "Stop lying..." His voice was weaker. "You can't possibly be in love with me. Tell me the truth for once instead of avoiding everything."
Eunyhuk scoffed. "Why? Because apparently someone as cruel as me is incapable of actually feeling that way?"
"No. Because if you did love me, you wouldn't have left me!"
His heart tore at the pain that reemerged with a vengeance.
"If you had actually gave a damn about me then you wouldn't have left me behind!"
Donghae felt his throat constrict and fought the painful stinging of his eyes, he pulled the collar of his shirt as he gasped for breath.
His harsh intakes of breath alerted Eunhyuk who immediately rushed over to his side but Donghae shoved him away. "I'm fine."
"I don't care if you're fine or not, but no way in hell I'm letting you die in front of me."
Donghae gave a weak bitter laugh, contradicting as always. He leaned against the brick wall behind him and begun his breathing exercises.
The cold air seared his throat and made it difficult for him to breathe properly, he leaned forward slightly. Eunhyuk instantly reached and hoisted him up, Donghae wanted to push him away, but it wouldn't do any good. His eyes focused on his arms that held him, his fingers that moved his damp hair from his forehead.
His actions spurred past memories, the kind acts that had caused him to develop his initial feelings for the man. He wanted to despise him, wanting to remind himself of the pain he suffered from his twisted heart. But even now as Eunhyuk stayed there with him, he could feel the affection resurfacing.
He swayed so easily.
Most times when he was alone, when he needed someone, why did it have to be Eunhyuk who appeared? Whether deliberate or not, why did they always cross paths?
He knew that even now, it was impossible to completely erase his affection for the other. He lowered his head, his hands reaching out when they met with his chest.
The heart was beating rapidly, but somehow it wasn't his own.
They stayed like that for easily more than an hour, Eunhyuk continued to wait until Donghae had resumed normal breathing.
"I'm fine now." His voice raspy.
Eunhyuk sighed as he looked at Donghae's weakened state. "I'll take you home-"
"You can't." Donghae mustered out in his ragged breathing. "You can't."
His voice broke slightly, the painful memories returning at full force.
"You'll make me hopeful again, you'll make me think you can change..."
He couldn't continue down that route. It took all he had to dismiss of his enduring feelings for him, to stop himself from acting on them, holding back from giving in.
"You'll make me think you might actually stay this time." Donghae looked up, meeting his eyes as he begged. "Don't make me go through that again... Please." Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, he gave a weak shove towards Eunhyuk. "I can't handle another rejection from you."
It was quiet as he stifled the sounds that escaped his throat, unable to face Eunhyuk and see what expression he had. Not daring to see his reaction.
The phone was moved from his pocket, one of his contacts dialed and was given directions and orders. Once finished he handed it back and waited.
Soon enough a car appeared by the restaurant, Leeteuk rushed out from the driver's door and hurried towards him, offering his own hands.
Donghae collapsed into Leeteuk's arms and allowed himself to be helped into the passenger seat. He shivered as he felt the cold leather seats when he looked from the corner of his eyes. Eunhyuk was still there by the sidewalk, wearing his familiar cryptic expression.
He had to come to terms to that conclusion, that no matter how much he had desired to know Eunhyuk he would never be able to figure him out. And he had to stop trying, some things weren't meant to be discovered.
Eunhyuk had met his eyes and determinedly turned away.
He felt relief wash over him as the car began to move and knew that soon enough he would no longer be able to see Eunhyuk. He fought against his heart's intentions in looking back as he always had. He fought that familiar urge, for his eyes to follow the other no matter where he was, no matter how long they had known one another.
He clutched the seats until he knew for sure they were no longer there.
He wished that for once that sleep would be kind to him, letting him to rest and forget everything, but his insomnia still halted his attempts, cruelly letting those memories fuel furiously throughout the night.
Instead he wallowed endlessly in such memories, unable to forget.
-
Flashback
“What’s wrong?” He remembers asking, still just a college student who walked in Eunhyuk’s apartment unannounced. It had only been a few months after he decided to stay at Donghae’s pleading.
He glanced at the frustrated man who laid back against the wall, settled on the floor.
Donghae prepared the his assignments on the floor and placed the bag of dinner boxes beside it. At his question, Eunhyuk gave the same warning look. “I should know what keeps bothering you,” Donghae defended. “We’re good friends.”
Eunhyuk arched an eyebrow at the misplaced term. "And here I thought you wanted more than that."
Donghae pretended that it wasn’t, focused on untying the bag but found his hands couldn’t open the stubborn knot. A pair of hands then reached around him, but teared apart the bag instead.
Whatever bothered Eunhyuk no longer looked like a priority, pressed against the assignments and the ignored bag, Eunhyuk hovered above the flustered student. “I won’t go around in circles just because you want me to.”
“You’re just going for what you want?” Donghae asked blankly, taking the position they were in rather lightly to his own surprise.
Eunhyuk smirked, “So wrapped up in the idea of pretending you feel nothing for me, assuming I should hold back in my own advances. Honestly, if the world was as saintly as you, there’d be no one left.”
“Are you just using me?”
Eunhyuk applied more force than necessary against his arms, “how insecure can you be? Stop over thinking everything, and just take this as it is.”
Donghae's eyes stayed locked with his, "And what is this?" He knew he sounded hopeful, that Eunhyuk could hear the eager in his voice.
Eunhyuk sneered, "If you stopped asking, then you'd know."
Donghae didn’t bother lying any further, embracing the blaring truth as he accepted Eunhyuk’s initiative.
Eunhyuk would never have it, to be simply be friends. Donghae knew he couldn’t either. It was all or nothing.
| Part 5 | - | Part 7A |
A/N: Almost done with this story! To think I wrote this so long ago, and somewhat remembering my thought process... Should possibly add angst to the genre.
I'll be on a week long trip, and to be honest not too sure if I'll have access to a computer. But the final chaps will either be uploaded during my time off, or when I return.