Unattainable - Part 5

Aug 23, 2012 00:21

Unattainable
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama
Summary: He didn't understand how a man could be so indifferent yet care so much. The man who never seemed to truly leave his memories and continues to haunt him from his past. Yet every time he reaches towards that memory, he simply vanishes.

// Part 5 //

“Sir, we could have taken the car." Leeteuk kindly reminds, panting slightly to catch up with his pacing boss through the crowded streets.

“It’s just a short distance,” Donghae insists, his assistant looked at him incredulously. Donghae aimed straight ahead, remembering times when he had walked much longer distances, all to save a few extra dollars. His eyes shifted slightly, by habit glancing at each face, until he stopped in his tracks momentarily.

Leeteuk stopped, taking a deep breath. “What’s wrong?”

“...Maybe taking the care would have been the better option.” Donghae says.

“Then again, walking helps clear the mind.” A voice interrupts.

The confused assistant raises his eyebrows, staring at the stranger who stood right a short distance away. The crowds worked their way through them, obscuring their views every so often, but Eunhyuk is clearly in their line of vision, and just makes his way through. Leeteuk shifted his eyes between the two men.

Donghae looked from the corner of his eye at Eunhyuk who smiled devilishly in return. Cryptic as always.

Ignoring him would only encourage him, with that thought in mind, Donghae headed straight for his building. Eunhyuk entered the center elevator and leaned against its walls, a held hand stops Leeteuk from entering. “Sir?”

“I won’t be long,” Donghae assures, Leeteuk slowly nods, not comforted at the least as the doors closed. There’s a long silence and neither speak, Donghae’s too focused on keeping himself looking ahead, knowing all the while where Eunhyuk was looking.

With the other trailing behind him, they eventually leave the elevator to an empty conference room.

"Haven't told your friend about me? I'm sure he has a right to know."

Donghae hears the door close and look back, “Why? Planning on shoving him onto a desk too?"

"No, that's just our thing."

Donghae resisted the urge to throw something at the man and closed his eyes. "How did you find me?"

"You're not that difficult to find." Eunhyuk claimed. "No matter how elusive you may think you are. It might as well have a sticker saying on a map You are here."

It was a struggle to maintain his composure. Strange how he could handle anything from the pestering lawyers, irrational protesters and the smug CEOs, but Eunhyuk alone was able to test him and push his limits.

“But when did you find me?” Donghae asks, “Why bother to confront me? You could have ignored me, you didn't have to..." He gradually opens his eyes and meets Eunhyuk's, they seemed as expressionless as they always were.

"Demanding answers as always."

That strikes a chord, "And as always you evade each one."

"You know me so well,” Eunhyuk taunts. His tone was the final straw, and Donghae acts impulsively for the first time in years.

He shoved him.

Eunhyuk wasn't angry or shocked, but instead laughed at his adolescent gesture. Answering simply that "I have my reasons."

"Ones I'll never understand. You didn't have to come around, you didn't have to find me and go through all this trouble. Is it that fun to tease the romantic ideals of a naive kid?"

Eunhyuk tilted his head playfully as he looked over his current state. "Look who's changed."

"Look who hasn't." Donghae snapped, walking out of the room with Eunhyuk’s laugh reaching his ears.

"You're still just as childish!"

-

He had tried to drown himself in work, but nothing kept his attention long enough.

In his father's office, he did the best he could to remain himself, and even if he fooled the chairman, Donghae's mind wasn't there. As much as he tried to ignore the thought of the man, he found he couldn't, it was impossible to think clearly whenever his name resurfaced.

And now that he returned home, he knew it only worsened as he saw Eunhyuk standing idly by, the collar of his jacket slightly raised.

"Was harassing me at work not enough for you?"

Eunhyuk stayed silent, he noted from the corner of his eye how intently the man was looking at him. Donghae jammed the key into the doorknob, "You shouldn't be around so much, I can't afford to have distractions."

That did nothing to faze him. "I'm touched, those businessmen seem to be dying to get your attention and I do it so easily." Eunhyuk followed right after him, closing the door.

"I don't give it out to just anyone." He replied coolly.

"I assume I should feel special then. Your reputation is that you're hard to get to, it seems most men in your field would do about anything to get you on your hands and knees." Eunhyuk gave a slanted glance. "I'll remember to keep that a precious secret between us."

This close distance was doing nothing to help, even while he was cooped up in his office, all his thoughts remained on the same person. He opened his liquor cabinet, putting ice into his glass.

"Had a stressful day?"

"As if you don't know."

"You think too highly of me."

Donghae poured the liquid, loosening his tie in the process, he doubted the other was interested in how his day went. He clutched the glass, his eyes intent on the cabinet, his voice calmer than he expected.

"Where have you been all this time?"

He felt the other's hands trace his shoulders, becoming physically closer. His skin reacted immediately to his touch. His heart beating rapidly, as it had done before in such circumstances.

"You still won't tell me."

"Does it really matter?" He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, he wished he could stop reacting like this. He had only tipped the glass on his lips when he felt the other's arms encircle around his waist.

Donghae turned around abruptly, shoving away his hands harshly. He faintly heard the sound of the glass falling onto the floor, it was difficult to take notice of anything else aside from the man before him.

Eunhyuk chuckled as he removed the glasses from his face. "You're actually fighting back, as I recall you were more willing than this."

Donghae's hands gripped the cabinet tightly, the only thing keeping him stable at the moment. "You're being selfish."

Eunhyuk's eyes darkened and somehow he found he still wasn't able to read him, yet he recognized his familiar beckoning smile.

"If it means I'm selfish because I don't hold back, then fine." He leaned in closer. "I am."

Donghae was determined to reject his advances, knowing that if they continued, he'd become vulnerable again and may actually give in.

He shoved past him with the intent to escape his clutches, but Eunhyuk was always one step faster. He could hardly say anything when his lips were covered by his own. His hands tried to push against his chest but his wrists were caught in an instant.

He hadn't changed at all. His kisses were just as rough, his hands just as strong as they kept him in place, taking complete control of his actions. All the while Donghae struggled to breathe. He wanted to fight back, wanted to do as he always thought he was capable of doing, and that was saying no to him. Although now that very word was the farthest thing from his mind.

He enjoyed being the subject of his attention, whether physical or otherwise. Even now as he was being overpowered, his back pressed against the couch's surface, did he find that he wasn't able to say it now either.

Donghae's arms didn't have to be restrained, Eunhyuk pulled back to give him another to chance to breathe, settling between parted legs as his hand lifted the other's bangs from his vision. Eunhyuk's impassioned eyes roamed his own, "You're always being difficult."

His hands traced the areas he knew he were particularly sensitive. Donghae closed his eyes, pulled into yet another kiss.

Donghae barely opened his eyes as Eunhyuk fervently kissed along his neck, his thoughts incoherently forming, replaying the words he said. Knowing that beyond anything, beyond what his body may have wanted, he wanted to change.

Those thoughts broke through his mind as Eunhyuk ravaged his mouth, stifling his whimpers and choked moans as they fell back onto the couch.

He wanted this more than anything, how often had he imagined being in Eunhyuk's hands once again.

But reality wasn't as nice, the ending would be as before, just as cruel. Even as he struggled to think clearly in the heat of things, the single thought formed, telling him that he would leave. He wouldn't stay.

Donghae used more force than necessary as he pushed away Eunhyuk, rushing from the couch to the far corner of the room, controlling his rapid breathing. He glimpsed sideways at Eunhyuk who had also straightened up, pulling himself together.

"I don't understand what you want from me." Donghae expressed.

Eunhyuk's expression hardened, a dark smile tracking his lips as he fixed his collar. "Absolutely nothing you can offer me is worth taking."

To his annoyance, Eunhyuk turned to leave, Donghae clutched his fist.

"I tried to call you but you never answered."

Eunhyuk paused momentarily as he faced him midway. Donghae cleared his throat, "I tried to find you but all I met were dead-ends. You didn't tell anyone anything, not even me."

Eunhyuk looked ahead, Donghae couldn't see his expression. "You're not entitled to know everything."

Donghae huffed, growing more agitated by each moment that passed, every wall built crumbing, every emotion seeping right through for him to see. "You said that I always take the easy route, but you're no different."

The door remained open, Eunhyuk stood with his hand on the frame, his expression hidden as he took a single step out the door.

"You hate me, don't you?"

Donghae swallowed, easily knowing his answer but the older man closed the door behind him before hearing it. He scoffed bitterly, he always left without telling him the answers he wanted to hear, always leaving him in this mess.

Everything he overcame, everything he had now become, none of it had done anything to strengthen him. He thought he finally had control, yet Eunhyuk once again waltzes in and just shatters the stability around him. And somehow this same man could still capture his curiosity, his need to understand, but that was nothing compared to how much he wanted him there. But even now, he was someone he couldn't hold onto.

The sight of his retreating back was all too familiar to him.

He quickly overpowered that part of him, reminding him of the pain he suffered, the nights in cold sweats and the tears that shed.

Moving up the ranks at work, asking him to move in with him, seemingly deciding on his own to commit to him entirely. Thinking he could change him, his simple-minded self unaware that the man merely played with his hopes. That as always, evading anything that could tie him down. Now it was only Donghae that was chained, back beneath his parents and the company he loathed.

But he would do it all again if it meant Eunhyuk would simply stay.

He wondered if the man had known this, or had he cruelly ignored it.

-

Leeteuk walked into the bar, his eyes searching when he laid eyes on him. He walked through the confined spaces until he reached Donghae who was hunched over the table, his head leaning against the cold surface. Empty glasses of various sizes surrounding him.

"How did you find me?" His boss asked weakly.

Leeteuk sat down on the seat beside him. "You don't drink often, I assumed it'd be nearby Sir-"

"You can drop the formalities." Donghae laughed weakly, staring at the honey colored liquid as he slowly tilted the small glass. "I'm that predictable... No wonder he's able to find me every time."

That only caused greater concern in the assistant, "What's wrong? Is someone harassing you? Is that man..."

Donghae gave a slanted glance towards the glass. Before he had never mentioned Eunhyuk to anyone, but it had been mostly to protect himself from reliving those memories.

The alcohol helped to release his silence, the words he had never told anyone else were now being said freely. "I'm used to the harassment since the day we met, always demanding from me because he's that selfish... Maybe because I could never really say no to him, at least not to important issues."

Donghae took a slow, ragged breath.

"He doesn't always demand though, sometimes he just goes for what he wants despite what anyone says, I've always admired that trait. For me to even leave my parent's hold took nearly everything I had, but in the end I couldn't stand on my own, returning-... Crawling back as he said." He emphasized, his voice even quieter. "I'm as weak as he said I was."

"You're not weak." Leeteuk disputed.

But he was weak.

He had attempted to date, to see other people, even if it had been forced without the initial spark. Reminding himself that the way he met the other was less than ideal. Yet with every attempt, he felt the gnawing betrayal course through him. Attempting to encourage himself that maybe Eunhyuk had moved on as well, finding some plausible excuse, but it did nothing to help at all.

He thought he was stronger now, that he had moved on since then, able to create this cold facade. But maybe he had fooled himself more than anyone, realizing his pain had only been masked, never given a chance to heal properly.

"Trying to hold him down is like trying to grab onto wind." He straightened up, his eyes focused on the liquid, tilting it in his mouth, the liquid searing his throat. "It's impossible."

-

“You’re back.”

Eunhyuk makes no reaction that he’s heard her voice, she’s used to the treatment and continues rationally, arms crossed as she settled in the seat of the darkened room, Eunhyuk doesn’t bother with the lights.. “I’ve pulled more than enough strings to get you back in,”

“I don’t need any of it. I told you I’m leaving for good, I don’t need you to follow me around.”

“Why not just do what you did before?” She snapped. “Never enter the same place twice, never eat at the area for more than one day every so often. I thought you were becoming better at diving off your parents, instead you were trying to lose me.”

“It didn’t work, obviously.” Eunhyuk countered. She lifted herself off the couch, coming towards the window’s light that revealed her concerned eyes held in her stern expression. Eunhyuk kept himself in the dark, refusing to look her way.

“You knew once he said yes to his father that he was back in the public eye. Someone will notice if such a prominent man is suddenly gone and replaced without a word of his whereabouts.”

“I get it.” He grounded.

“And that-”

“Enough!”

Her eyes rounded in fury, “Why is it that nothing I’ve done, nothing your parents could do and have done fazes you, but just a few exchanged words with that man gets your blood so boiled?”

His eyes narrowed dangerously, “Get out.”

It had been enough years to know she wasn’t going to get an answer, and left as ordered. For whatever reason, Eunhyuk couldn’t let go, and refused to be forgotten.

| Part 4B | - | Part 6 |

pairing: eunhae/haehyuk, fic★series: unattainable, c: donghae, type: fanfiction, c: eunhyuk, type: yaoi

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