Aléjate De Mi
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kyuwook
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama
Beta: paradigm_twist
Disclaimer: I don't own any SuJu member.
Summary: The storm is relentless, suffocating, trapping him further into this expectation set against him to protect the person he cares for. Even if it means he has to push him forcefully out of his life.
-
A/N: If you want to listen, this is the song ^^, or this link just in case youtube decides it doesn't work for some reason...
-
Alejate de mi y hazlo pronto antes de que te mienta.
Tu cielo se hace gris , yo ya camino bajo la tormenta.
Stay away from me and do it soon before I lie to you.
Your skies becoming gray, and I'm already walking under the storm.
Kyuhyun glanced at the darkening skies, clenching his fists as the rain poured overhead, not caring to find shelter.
Standing completely still as he voiced the words he was able to say so easily now. The man before him would never know how long he had struggled to say such things. He worked hard to maintain his stoic expression, acting as if this confrontation had no effect on him at all. As if his eyes that begged for an answer had absolutely no effect on him at all.
"Why?" Ryeowook asked tentatively. "You... You don't mean this-"
"I've never wanted anything to do with you." Kyuhyun said. "I've had my fun. But I've grown tired of you."
"Don't say that-"
"You shouldn't be so surprised. You were just a fling and that's it-"
"Stop it." Ryeowook says weakly, his voice wavering. "Stop."
Kyuhyun stays still, barely paying any attention when Ryeowook stepped towards him.
"Stay away from me." He ordered, turning his eyes away to stare at the soaked pavement.
Whether it was the rain that had done it, or the cold and distant sound of his voice, Ryeowook had shivered ever so slightly.
Kyuhyun said nothing else as he walked away, turning a blind eye to the broken man he left behind. He wished he could coldly say he had nothing else to say, but that was hardly true. If he continued to say anymore, he would lose his ground; his reasoning for even going through this.
He allowed the rain to run down his cheeks, substitute for the tears he refused to shed.
Alejate de mi, escapa ve que ya no debo verte.
Entiende que aunque pida que te vayas, no quiero perderte.
Stay away from me, escape, I shouldn't see you.
Understand, although I'm asking you to go, I don't want to lose you.
Kyuhyun stood by himself as he took another gulp of his beer.
Donghae whistled as he playfully tilted his own bottle, leaning against the counter of the bar. "That's your third one. Don't you think you should slow it down?"
Kyuhyun merely gulped it down defiantly; his eyes continually glanced at one spot in particular. Donghae followed his gaze and shook his head, realizing who it was.
"He seems to be doing better than you had initially thought." Donghae said casually. Kyuhyun stayed silent, purposely looking away from the scene. Donghae sighed as he eyed his expression. "It's been months-"
"He's moving on." Kyuhyun interjected. "That's all I asked for."
"But you haven't." Donghae said exasperatingly.
"My feelings won't stop just because I want them to. I never expected them to."
Donghae took a deep breath. Kyuhyun knew his friend felt sympathy for him, but he hardly deserved it. He knew his flaws; his personality. The countless white lies that he had often told the others, although they were becoming less chaste.
Ryeowook has this chance to escape his clutches now. If they continued down this spiral of self-destructive, he wouldn't dared let him go if he were to ever ask.
He knew his resentment still blinded him. Especially as the man walked past, acting as if he didn't exist.
In all, this was for the best.
La luz ya, no alcanza
No quieras caminar sobre el dolor descalza
The light doesn't reach
Don't walk barefoot over the pain
Kyuhyun stared at the incoming storm, walking beneath the gray clouds that overtook the sun. He stifled Ryeowook as much as those clouds did with the sun. No one could possibly survived, drenched in such a pessimistic atmosphere.
Hours earlier he had met Ryeowook. But instead of acting as indifferent as before, Ryeowook had actually confronted him, if it could be called one.
"You're appearing more than you should be." Ryeowook said lightly.
"It's a small city. You can't expect me to knowingly avoid everywhere you'll be." Kyuhyun replied.
"I suppose it's called perfect timing then."
Kyuhyun smirked, adding to the effect of the cold bastard image he rather have Ryeowook knew him as. "You want nothing to do with me."
"I never wanted anything to do with you." Ryeowook insisted now; a much different tune than before. Kyuhyun still remembered his tear stricken face. But now, he expressed his own bitter resentment.
Kyuhyun said nothing as Ryeowook dismissed him so easily. He admitted that his immature actions had tugged at his heart. He was right to briskly walk past him, not daring to meet his eyes, and purposely talking to other people knowing he'd be jealous.
He'd make him suffer and that was fine with him.
Ryeowook would survive through this. He had friends who cared for him; who would comfort him better than he ever could. Friends who he would eventually see with a different set of eyes.
He would eventually write him off as some distant bitter memory, as if he was forgetting such a storm and returning to more pleasant days. Kyuhyun was forever trapped, doomed to walk beneath these tormenting skies.
Un Angel te cuida
Y puso en mi boca la verdad para mostrarme la salida
An angel cares of you
and he put in my mouth the truth to show you the way out
"He still misses you." Donghae declared. "It's painfully obvious how much you two want each other."
"You want to play matchmaker now?" Kyuhyun questioned.
Donghae smiled. "Hardly. But I can't stand by and watch two people whose feelings clearly haven't changed become like this. It's frustrating."
"You want me to walk up to him and beg him to take me back?"
"All you have to do is ask and he'd probably jump for joy." Kyuhyun chuckled lightly, knowing his comment referred to another incident. Ryeowook can't contain his excitement and often failed to, unable to keep a straight face, even in the most awkward of situations.
Even the first time they had ever gotten together, Ryeowook's elation at their first real date seemed to overwhelm him. That energy had startled him in the beginning. But gradually, he became used to it. He didn't mind it at all now.
It was not as if Kyuhyun hadn't thought about simply asking him as Donghae so easily suggested.
There were times he had walked daringly closer, reaching his hand out towards his retreating back that had slowly distanced away.
"You're ruining him."
He stopped in his tracks.
"He doesn't want to attend the top tier university because he wants to stay with you."
He found himself walking back every time, unable to follow through as he had intended; unable to ignore the countless accusations against him.
"Do you want to ruin his future?"
He reminded himself that he needed to keep his distance. For the likes of him, no person deserved to lose their chances at a decent future. He forced himself to move. He had no other choice.
But despite his own persistence, the person he left behind was losing his own.
Their eyes had met briefly at the bar, but Kyuhyun said nothing as he turned away first. Not even finishing his drink as he chose to walk out of the place; to escape.
He glanced up at the darkening skies and could trace the dim outlines of clouds. The storm was slowly letting up.
He heard loud footsteps behind him. It was only until he felt a hand on his shoulder did he stop fully. He turned around and was met with Ryeowook's narrowing eyes.
"Is avoiding me completely the next part of your plan?" He asked accusingly.
"I can't avoid you beforehand. It's best to do so afterward." Kyuhyun said as he turned to walk away but Ryeowook reached for his arm, his grip unrelenting.
"You do care," He asserted. "Every time when you think I don't notice. I know you care that I'm around other guys. That you-"
"Don't give yourself too much credit." Kyuhyun replied flatly. "I merely found it disgusting how a person was able to move on so quickly after only a few months. I guess you were never that loyal to begin with."
Ryeowook tried to remain unfazed by his words. "I can see through your act."
Si aun no me lo crees amor, y quieres tu correr el riesgo
If you still don't believe me, my love, and want to run the risk.
"It's hardly an act." Kyuhyun assured.
He needed to maintain this charade. To pretend came off much easier than he would like to admit. The ability to lie through his teeth had became too easy.
"If this is an act, doesn't this mean I'm good at tricking people? Able to cause tears and suffering so easily to the person I supposedly care about?"
If he needed to push him to the furthest point, then he would do it.
"I don't care what you call it. But I don't believe a single bit of it." Ryeowook challenged.
"You're just refusing to see the reality." Kyuhyun uttered, forcibly releasing Ryeowook's hold on him and pushed it harshly to the side. "Don't be so blind."
Veras que soy realmente bueno en engañar y hacer sufrir
y hacer llorar a quien mas quiero..
You'll see that I'm really good at lying and causing suffering
and causing the one I love most to cry.
"Maybe I have been blind to what your true intentions were. To what reasons you had to end it. To the pain because of it..." Ryeowook swallowed slightly. "I was so focused on wanting to know those answers that I didn't realize the motives behind them."
"My only motive is that I wanted to end it. It is as simple as that." Kyuhyun insisted, easily voicing his frustration. He wasn't sure how much further he could go on and decided that maybe his own escape was necessary. He walked off without warning, needing to keep going.
Why couldn't Ryeowook simply believed those words?
"You're not this cruel." Ryeowook persisted relentlessly as he followed after him.
"Don't make me out to be some angel." Kyuhyun chided.
"You're right, you hardly fell from heaven," Ryeowook expressed. "But that's doesn't mean you're a bad person either. You're not as selfish, as horrible as I know everyone else thinks you are!" He nearly yelled.
Kyuhyun walked even faster, wanting nothing more than to ignore his words. It was better to walk through this storm without him; for Ryeowook to find happiness elsewhere. With someone else.
That thought buried deeply in his mind. The motive he had wanted to use to release him.
Only, that motive held him back. He knew of his jealous tendencies. How often Ryeowook had seen him react because of them. He couldn't ever suppress them, and the thought of Ryeowook finding that happiness with someone one did more than bother him. It was tearing him apart.
"You're ruining him." The angel told him, urging him to continue on; to stop himself from turning around. Pretend a little longer. Lie just a bit more. Cause more pain to push him further away.
Their status. Their social class. Society itself may have seemed welcoming but it wouldn't approve of such a pair. They were too different the angel said.
It urged him; its voice reprimanding him. Only Ryeowook's voice spoke that much louder.
"It didn't matter what the others said. It never mattered to me what they said or thought." He said, his voice gradually lowering. "None of it mattered because I knew the risks. I knew the consequences and even now, I don't care."
Kyuhyun clenched his hands, the weakening voice still broke through and reached him.
"I want to be with you." Ryeowook affirmed.
The angel was silenced. Somehow, he felt it wasn't his own angel, but one corrupted by society and his family's ideals. One he had tried his best to conform to.
He alone had tried to stop himself from hurting him. From causing any more pain and suffering, but instead had merely added more to it.
But he had done it all to protect him, because he was truly afraid he'd hurt him, that he'd cause his eventual pain and regret.
It was better to stay away. Wasn't it?
"Why me?" Kyuhyun asked, his resolve slipping momentarily. "Why would you choose to be with me?"
"My feelings speak for themselves." Ryeowook replied quietly, reaching for his arm, leaning his head against his shoulder.
Kyuhyun didn't push him away.
"It isn't too late to leave me." He said quietly, hoping the warning would reach out to him. His final warning. "If you leave now, I won't hold it against you."
Ryeowook didn't let go. Instead, his other hand reached for his jacket.
"I can't promise the same in the future." Kyuhyun murmured as Ryeowook laid against his shoulder.
"I'll hold you to that promise."
"Even if I were to hurt you?" Kyuhyun added. "Even if I were to lie to you?"
"Even the best relationships include white lies..." Ryeowook replied. "And sometimes it’s better to be left in the dark about some things."
"They'll hardly be white lies." Kyuhyun reasoned.
"There'll be a reason. Even if you can't tell me." Ryeowook insisted, clutching his jacket possessively. "Any more excuses?"
Kyuhyun smiled briefly. "One final chance to leave without consequences."
"Your final chance to push me away." Ryeowook retorted. "To see me with someone else."
Kyuhyun stiffened. Ryeowook smiled at his response. He knew his jealously had gotten the best of him.
"Then don't push me away anymore." Ryeowook reasoned as he pulled away from him.
Kyuhyun felt cold without the contact but noted the glint in his eyes.
"You'll have to earn my forgiveness." Ryeowook told him later on that night. "It'll take years to do so. An entire lifetime even."
Kyuhyun chuckled at his exaggerated statement and the underlying message so obviously spoken from it.
His voice said it all. It spoke louder to them than the deafening sounds of the storm that housed him. Only this time, he was able to walk beneath those gray skies with this person beside him.
A quien mas quiero..
To the one I love most.
-
A/N: I love this song so much, Besame is another good song from Camila ^^. And want to apologize in advance if I messed up the translation ><. I tried to look at different videos and ask my friends, my Spanish is still very basic .-.
I couldn't use the entire song however, if anyone's interested in the rest of the translation, the lyrics are there ^^.
Pairing: Kyuwook
Genre: AU!Romance, Drama
Beta: paradigm_twist
Disclaimer: I don't own any SuJu member.
Summary: The storm is relentless, suffocating, trapping him further into this expectation set against him to protect the person he cares for. Even if it means he has to push him forcefully out of his life.
-
A/N: If you want to listen, this is the song ^^, or this link just in case youtube decides it doesn't work for some reason...
-
Alejate de mi y hazlo pronto antes de que te mienta.
Tu cielo se hace gris , yo ya camino bajo la tormenta.
Stay away from me and do it soon before I lie to you.
Your skies becoming gray, and I'm already walking under the storm.
Kyuhyun glanced at the darkening skies, clenching his fists as the rain poured overhead, not caring to find shelter.
Standing completely still as he voiced the words he was able to say so easily now. The man before him would never know how long he had struggled to say such things. He worked hard to maintain his stoic expression, acting as if this confrontation had no effect on him at all. As if his eyes that begged for an answer had absolutely no effect on him at all.
"Why?" Ryeowook asked tentatively. "You... You don't mean this-"
"I've never wanted anything to do with you." Kyuhyun said. "I've had my fun. But I've grown tired of you."
"Don't say that-"
"You shouldn't be so surprised. You were just a fling and that's it-"
"Stop it." Ryeowook says weakly, his voice wavering. "Stop."
Kyuhyun stays still, barely paying any attention when Ryeowook stepped towards him.
"Stay away from me." He ordered, turning his eyes away to stare at the soaked pavement.
Whether it was the rain that had done it, or the cold and distant sound of his voice, Ryeowook had shivered ever so slightly.
Kyuhyun said nothing else as he walked away, turning a blind eye to the broken man he left behind. He wished he could coldly say he had nothing else to say, but that was hardly true. If he continued to say anymore, he would lose his ground; his reasoning for even going through this.
He allowed the rain to run down his cheeks, substitute for the tears he refused to shed.
Alejate de mi, escapa ve que ya no debo verte.
Entiende que aunque pida que te vayas, no quiero perderte.
Stay away from me, escape, I shouldn't see you.
Understand, although I'm asking you to go, I don't want to lose you.
Kyuhyun stood by himself as he took another gulp of his beer.
Donghae whistled as he playfully tilted his own bottle, leaning against the counter of the bar. "That's your third one. Don't you think you should slow it down?"
Kyuhyun merely gulped it down defiantly; his eyes continually glanced at one spot in particular. Donghae followed his gaze and shook his head, realizing who it was.
"He seems to be doing better than you had initially thought." Donghae said casually. Kyuhyun stayed silent, purposely looking away from the scene. Donghae sighed as he eyed his expression. "It's been months-"
"He's moving on." Kyuhyun interjected. "That's all I asked for."
"But you haven't." Donghae said exasperatingly.
"My feelings won't stop just because I want them to. I never expected them to."
Donghae took a deep breath. Kyuhyun knew his friend felt sympathy for him, but he hardly deserved it. He knew his flaws; his personality. The countless white lies that he had often told the others, although they were becoming less chaste.
Ryeowook has this chance to escape his clutches now. If they continued down this spiral of self-destructive, he wouldn't dared let him go if he were to ever ask.
He knew his resentment still blinded him. Especially as the man walked past, acting as if he didn't exist.
In all, this was for the best.
La luz ya, no alcanza
No quieras caminar sobre el dolor descalza
The light doesn't reach
Don't walk barefoot over the pain
Kyuhyun stared at the incoming storm, walking beneath the gray clouds that overtook the sun. He stifled Ryeowook as much as those clouds did with the sun. No one could possibly survived, drenched in such a pessimistic atmosphere.
Hours earlier he had met Ryeowook. But instead of acting as indifferent as before, Ryeowook had actually confronted him, if it could be called one.
"You're appearing more than you should be." Ryeowook said lightly.
"It's a small city. You can't expect me to knowingly avoid everywhere you'll be." Kyuhyun replied.
"I suppose it's called perfect timing then."
Kyuhyun smirked, adding to the effect of the cold bastard image he rather have Ryeowook knew him as. "You want nothing to do with me."
"I never wanted anything to do with you." Ryeowook insisted now; a much different tune than before. Kyuhyun still remembered his tear stricken face. But now, he expressed his own bitter resentment.
Kyuhyun said nothing as Ryeowook dismissed him so easily. He admitted that his immature actions had tugged at his heart. He was right to briskly walk past him, not daring to meet his eyes, and purposely talking to other people knowing he'd be jealous.
He'd make him suffer and that was fine with him.
Ryeowook would survive through this. He had friends who cared for him; who would comfort him better than he ever could. Friends who he would eventually see with a different set of eyes.
He would eventually write him off as some distant bitter memory, as if he was forgetting such a storm and returning to more pleasant days. Kyuhyun was forever trapped, doomed to walk beneath these tormenting skies.
Un Angel te cuida
Y puso en mi boca la verdad para mostrarme la salida
An angel cares of you
and he put in my mouth the truth to show you the way out
"He still misses you." Donghae declared. "It's painfully obvious how much you two want each other."
"You want to play matchmaker now?" Kyuhyun questioned.
Donghae smiled. "Hardly. But I can't stand by and watch two people whose feelings clearly haven't changed become like this. It's frustrating."
"You want me to walk up to him and beg him to take me back?"
"All you have to do is ask and he'd probably jump for joy." Kyuhyun chuckled lightly, knowing his comment referred to another incident. Ryeowook can't contain his excitement and often failed to, unable to keep a straight face, even in the most awkward of situations.
Even the first time they had ever gotten together, Ryeowook's elation at their first real date seemed to overwhelm him. That energy had startled him in the beginning. But gradually, he became used to it. He didn't mind it at all now.
It was not as if Kyuhyun hadn't thought about simply asking him as Donghae so easily suggested.
There were times he had walked daringly closer, reaching his hand out towards his retreating back that had slowly distanced away.
"You're ruining him."
He stopped in his tracks.
"He doesn't want to attend the top tier university because he wants to stay with you."
He found himself walking back every time, unable to follow through as he had intended; unable to ignore the countless accusations against him.
"Do you want to ruin his future?"
He reminded himself that he needed to keep his distance. For the likes of him, no person deserved to lose their chances at a decent future. He forced himself to move. He had no other choice.
But despite his own persistence, the person he left behind was losing his own.
Their eyes had met briefly at the bar, but Kyuhyun said nothing as he turned away first. Not even finishing his drink as he chose to walk out of the place; to escape.
He glanced up at the darkening skies and could trace the dim outlines of clouds. The storm was slowly letting up.
He heard loud footsteps behind him. It was only until he felt a hand on his shoulder did he stop fully. He turned around and was met with Ryeowook's narrowing eyes.
"Is avoiding me completely the next part of your plan?" He asked accusingly.
"I can't avoid you beforehand. It's best to do so afterward." Kyuhyun said as he turned to walk away but Ryeowook reached for his arm, his grip unrelenting.
"You do care," He asserted. "Every time when you think I don't notice. I know you care that I'm around other guys. That you-"
"Don't give yourself too much credit." Kyuhyun replied flatly. "I merely found it disgusting how a person was able to move on so quickly after only a few months. I guess you were never that loyal to begin with."
Ryeowook tried to remain unfazed by his words. "I can see through your act."
Si aun no me lo crees amor, y quieres tu correr el riesgo
If you still don't believe me, my love, and want to run the risk.
"It's hardly an act." Kyuhyun assured.
He needed to maintain this charade. To pretend came off much easier than he would like to admit. The ability to lie through his teeth had became too easy.
"If this is an act, doesn't this mean I'm good at tricking people? Able to cause tears and suffering so easily to the person I supposedly care about?"
If he needed to push him to the furthest point, then he would do it.
"I don't care what you call it. But I don't believe a single bit of it." Ryeowook challenged.
"You're just refusing to see the reality." Kyuhyun uttered, forcibly releasing Ryeowook's hold on him and pushed it harshly to the side. "Don't be so blind."
Veras que soy realmente bueno en engañar y hacer sufrir
y hacer llorar a quien mas quiero..
You'll see that I'm really good at lying and causing suffering
and causing the one I love most to cry.
"Maybe I have been blind to what your true intentions were. To what reasons you had to end it. To the pain because of it..." Ryeowook swallowed slightly. "I was so focused on wanting to know those answers that I didn't realize the motives behind them."
"My only motive is that I wanted to end it. It is as simple as that." Kyuhyun insisted, easily voicing his frustration. He wasn't sure how much further he could go on and decided that maybe his own escape was necessary. He walked off without warning, needing to keep going.
Why couldn't Ryeowook simply believed those words?
"You're not this cruel." Ryeowook persisted relentlessly as he followed after him.
"Don't make me out to be some angel." Kyuhyun chided.
"You're right, you hardly fell from heaven," Ryeowook expressed. "But that's doesn't mean you're a bad person either. You're not as selfish, as horrible as I know everyone else thinks you are!" He nearly yelled.
Kyuhyun walked even faster, wanting nothing more than to ignore his words. It was better to walk through this storm without him; for Ryeowook to find happiness elsewhere. With someone else.
That thought buried deeply in his mind. The motive he had wanted to use to release him.
Only, that motive held him back. He knew of his jealous tendencies. How often Ryeowook had seen him react because of them. He couldn't ever suppress them, and the thought of Ryeowook finding that happiness with someone one did more than bother him. It was tearing him apart.
"You're ruining him." The angel told him, urging him to continue on; to stop himself from turning around. Pretend a little longer. Lie just a bit more. Cause more pain to push him further away.
Their status. Their social class. Society itself may have seemed welcoming but it wouldn't approve of such a pair. They were too different the angel said.
It urged him; its voice reprimanding him. Only Ryeowook's voice spoke that much louder.
"It didn't matter what the others said. It never mattered to me what they said or thought." He said, his voice gradually lowering. "None of it mattered because I knew the risks. I knew the consequences and even now, I don't care."
Kyuhyun clenched his hands, the weakening voice still broke through and reached him.
"I want to be with you." Ryeowook affirmed.
The angel was silenced. Somehow, he felt it wasn't his own angel, but one corrupted by society and his family's ideals. One he had tried his best to conform to.
He alone had tried to stop himself from hurting him. From causing any more pain and suffering, but instead had merely added more to it.
But he had done it all to protect him, because he was truly afraid he'd hurt him, that he'd cause his eventual pain and regret.
It was better to stay away. Wasn't it?
"Why me?" Kyuhyun asked, his resolve slipping momentarily. "Why would you choose to be with me?"
"My feelings speak for themselves." Ryeowook replied quietly, reaching for his arm, leaning his head against his shoulder.
Kyuhyun didn't push him away.
"It isn't too late to leave me." He said quietly, hoping the warning would reach out to him. His final warning. "If you leave now, I won't hold it against you."
Ryeowook didn't let go. Instead, his other hand reached for his jacket.
"I can't promise the same in the future." Kyuhyun murmured as Ryeowook laid against his shoulder.
"I'll hold you to that promise."
"Even if I were to hurt you?" Kyuhyun added. "Even if I were to lie to you?"
"Even the best relationships include white lies..." Ryeowook replied. "And sometimes it’s better to be left in the dark about some things."
"They'll hardly be white lies." Kyuhyun reasoned.
"There'll be a reason. Even if you can't tell me." Ryeowook insisted, clutching his jacket possessively. "Any more excuses?"
Kyuhyun smiled briefly. "One final chance to leave without consequences."
"Your final chance to push me away." Ryeowook retorted. "To see me with someone else."
Kyuhyun stiffened. Ryeowook smiled at his response. He knew his jealously had gotten the best of him.
"Then don't push me away anymore." Ryeowook reasoned as he pulled away from him.
Kyuhyun felt cold without the contact but noted the glint in his eyes.
"You'll have to earn my forgiveness." Ryeowook told him later on that night. "It'll take years to do so. An entire lifetime even."
Kyuhyun chuckled at his exaggerated statement and the underlying message so obviously spoken from it.
His voice said it all. It spoke louder to them than the deafening sounds of the storm that housed him. Only this time, he was able to walk beneath those gray skies with this person beside him.
A quien mas quiero..
To the one I love most.
-
A/N: I love this song so much, Besame is another good song from Camila ^^. And want to apologize in advance if I messed up the translation ><. I tried to look at different videos and ask my friends, my Spanish is still very basic .-.
I couldn't use the entire song however, if anyone's interested in the rest of the translation, the lyrics are there ^^.