Cradling Glass
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Yunjae/Jaeho
Genre: AU!Romance/Drama
[Y][FF] Summary: Things that seemed so easy before are now a difficult task, as daily life becomes a burden, someone from his past returns to help lift a hand.
***
Jaejoong looked at the broken glass on the floor, simply staring until he finally turned away from it, not bothering to clean up the shattered mess. He walked out of the store before anyone noticed and down the sidewalks he continued. The cold air shifted around, unlike the others he didn't fix his scarf nor his jacket to stay warm.
Instead of fixing his attire, he walked into the nearby bookstore for shelter from the cold winds. Once inside he strolled through the aisles until he began to look through the literature section. He took out his hands from his pockets and pulled one out as he began to skim the pages.
The book was shaking yet he ignored it and continued to read the words.
It began to tilt and soon enough fell to the ground with a light thud. Jaejoong didn't look at the book however and instead at his hands that had now stopped shaking. He clenched them when he watched a hand lift the book from the floor.
He looked to see a man with a smile on his face as he offered the book. Jaejoong looked at the book and murmured, "Thank you." He reached for it and quickly returned it to its slot as he walked away. Barely noticing the distancing 'You're welcome' behind him or the puzzled look on the man's face.
As he strolled through the aisles, he felt the man's presence nearby and looked from the corner of his eyes at the man who occasionally glanced back at him. Jaejoong noted how the man pretended to examine the titles closely until he turned and walked towards him. Jaejoong also pretended that he wasn't aware of the man's actions until he was directly behind him.
He watched the reflection on the sign of the shelf, watching as the man repeatedly opened and closed his mouth. He then decided to keep them close as he turned away and walked another direction away from him.
Jaejoong didn't understand, but chose not to pursue the matter any further. He walked in the opposite direction and continued to roam around when he heard footsteps walking towards him.
He turned to see the man greeting him with a sincere smile. "H-hi."
Jaejoong returned the greeting without the stutter and watched as the man shift slightly uncomfortably.
"You lived in Gwangju right?" He asked. Jaejoong took a step back, unsure of whether to answer that question. The man seemed to notice his apprehension and gestured his hands. "I m-meant, I think..." He grabbed the roots of his hair, Jaejoong watched as the man struggled to form the words. "We went to the same school...back then."
Jaejoong tilted his head as he tried to recall when as watching the man's hands that that continually clutched the edge of his shirt. The memory of someone much younger who had the same habit resurfaced, it came piece by piece until the name appeared.
"Yunho?" Jaejoong questioned, the man looked up and his smile widened. It definitely was, Jaejoong thought, that smile was distinctive to only him. He himself offered his own small smile. "It's been a while."
Yunho nodded. "You left before you could graduate with everyone." Jaejoong arched an eyebrow, it had been a considerable amount of years since then, he was surprised that Yunho still remembered that but decided not to comment. "How have you been doing?"
"Good." Jaejoong replied, Yunho nodded happily as Jaejoong shifted his eyes. "You?"
"Great!" Yunho said cheerfully, Jaejoong lightly chuckled, he was still the same person as before. It was good to see his optimism hadn't changed through the years. Yunho's phone rang as he hurried to answer it, when he did, he solemnly closed it shut and pursed his lips. "I have to go now..."
"Me too actually." Jaejoong replied, he said his goodbyes and turned away when Yunho suddenly reached for his forearm.
Yunho dropped his hands immediately and gave a weak smile. "Would you like to?"
"Like to?" Jaejoong prompted.
"Like to meet up again? I'd understand if you didn't, but I thought it'd be nice to catch up and-"
"I wouldn't mind." He interjected, leaving Yunho to stop and process what he just said. Yunho handed over his phone as he did the same, Jaejoong clicked on each number but felt the tingles increasing. The phone shook slightly in his hand but he soon handed it over before it became noticeable.
With that they returned their phones and parted ways, Jaejoong placed his hands in his pocket as he pushed his way through the door.
Repeatedly clenching his hand as he walked back onto the streets.
---
Jaejoong watched as the program played on the TV, he clicked the buttons on the remote, ignoring the slight tingles in his fingers when he finally reached a show he could at least tolerate.
Yet it really just became intolerable, he looked at the remote as he tempted to turn it off, but decided against it. He ignored it otherwise and headed to the kitchen, he opened the door and carefully used both hands to lift the gallon of milk. He placed his cup on the table and tried to twist the cap.
He cursed under his breath when it wasn't moving. He tried again with the other hand, then with a towel, each time it wasn't budging. He sighed, this used to be such an easy task. He stopped momentarily and looked at his hands. He clenched them and opened them again, drawing a deep breath as he stared at them.
He heard his cellphone ring. He absentmindedly clicked the speaker button.
"Jaejoong?" The voice asked timidly, Jaejoong blinked before he recognized the voice.
"Ah, Yunho."
"Yes!" He answered cheerfully, another silence ensued.
"You called?" Jaejoong prompted.
"Ah, that's right." Jaejoong chuckled as Yunho continued. "I called to ask if maybe you would like to go eat dinner with me... I mean, as friends, even though we haven't seen each other in a long time so we're probably just acquaintances. But even then I think we should get to know each other better-"
"Where do I meet you?" Jaejoong interrupted, his habit of rambling didn't seem to leave him either. Jaejoong knew the place and agreed. When the call ended, he glanced at the milk gallon and wondered if having a meal was such a great idea. He nodded to himself that he would be fine and got ready for their meeting.
When he arrived at the casual bar, he walked inside and tried to push through the rather crowded place. He managed to find Yunho through it as the man struggled towards him, yelling loudly in his ear.
"I think we'll go somewhere else." Jaejoong nodded and allowed himself to be pushed out through the crowd. Once they were both outside and into the cold fresh air, they both looked awkwardly at one another.
"Have somewhere in mind?" Jaejoong asked, Yunho looked around.
He clapped and rubbed his hands together. "Street food is just as good." Jaejoong nodded as he followed him. When they decided on a place, they took their food with them as they sat on cement blocks. They both settled the food onto their laps as they started to eat.
"Mm," Yunho swallowed his food. "Remember when we used to play soccer in the courtyard after school?"
"I remember," Jaejoong chewed slowly. "Only I never played." He corrected.
"But you always came to watch..." Yunho said. "Why did you?" He faced him as Jaejoong continued to chew his food.
He remembered that reason quite clearly, it was a simple enough answer but he decided it was best not to say it out loud.
"Just felt like it." He replied instead. He stabbed his fork into his food when it missed just slightly, he focused his energy on his hand and tried once again and did it. He held it up to his mouth, though his hand was noticeably shaking.
"Are you cold?" Yunho asked. Jaejoong didn't answer as he tried to hold the fork and move it in the right direction. He took his last bite and then dropped his fork into the box and closed it.
"I'm full." He answered.
"I'm sorry, I should have found a warmer place." Yunho looked around. "There, we can-"
"Yunho, its fine." Jaejoong reassured, he tilted his head as he faced him. "You really haven't changed at all since then."
Yunho's expression fell as he looked away. "...That's disappointing to hear."
"Why?"
Yunho moved the food with his fork. "Because I want to change."
Jaejoong wanted to ask him further but noting his expression, he dropped it.
Yunho's smile returned as he got up. "It is getting cold though, let's head back." Jaejoong nodded as he followed him back to his apartment. Jaejoong reached for his keys, the tingles becoming stronger in his hands.
The key wouldn't directly go into the knob, his hand shook too much for it as he continued to attempt. Jaejoong then paused as he turned around, ready to tell Yunho to leave when Yunho reached for the keys in his hand. He watched as Yunho opened the door with ease, looking back at the keys in his hand.
Jaejoong outreached his hand, gesturing for the keys, Yunho was about to give them to him when he stopped himself. He was hesitant. "What's wrong with your hands?"
He could've brushed it off, turned him away. After all, they weren't close now and they had only briefly reacquainted. Though he couldn't face Yunho or even say those words, instead he was surprised at himself when he simply said. "I'll explain inside."
They both walked in, Jaejoong settled into the couch as Yunho sat beside him, a slight distance between them. Jaejoong placed his hands under his chin as Yunho waited for him to start. He patient when Jaejoong closed his eyes.
"If I had to be honest, I don't know what it is exactly." He explained. "But it's been getting worse, at first my wrists just hurt. But now its reached to my fingers and now when I hold things for too long, they do what you just saw."
"Does it hurt?" Yunho asked as he focused on his hands.
Jaejoong lowered them as he barely glanced at them. "Sometimes... if I don't use my hands often then it doesn't hurt as much."
"Have you seen a doctor?" Yunho asked worriedly.
"It's too expensive." Jaejoong sighed, before Yunho could retort, he replied back. "Yes, there is a price to my health, a price that's a little too high for me to handle."
Yunho pursed his lips. "Then don't use your hands until they feel better." He suggested.
"Its hard to not use your hands when everything in life requires even minimal use of it." Jaejoong pointed out.
A short silence ensued between them.
Yunho then gestured his hands in front of Jaejoong's eyes. "Then I'll be your hands." Jaejoong arched an eyebrow at his statement as Yunho continued on. "It's better not to cause stress on them, so I'll help you."
"You don't have to-"
"But I want to." Jaejoong blinked as he watched Yunho nod to himself. Wondering if there was a hidden motive behind the man's seemingly nice gestures.
"Yunho-"
"I can help." Yunho insisted. Jaejoong examined his expression but felt nothing malicious behind it, he looked down at his own hands, his fingers slightly moving as he willed it.
It was becoming more difficult each day to do such an action. He sighed as he reluctantly replied. "Fine then."
And that was how it was, Yunho somehow made it his job to see him nearly daily to make sure he didn't use his hands. The pain and tingles went away but another feeling was emerging. In Yunho's apartment, he noted that feeling as he watched the man cook before him, wondering how to go about it.
Jaejoong crossed his arms as he leaned on the counter. "You must be lonely."
"Extremely." Yunho said lightly, Jaejoong gave a small smile as he laid his head down on the counter. He closed his eyes for the time being. A while later, he stirred awake and was surprised to see straight into Yunho's eyes.
Yunho immediately got up and looked around. "Dinner's ready." He said as he reached for the two plates, Jaejoong slowly raised his head as he studied the man before him, wary of any movements he made.
Yunho placed the plates on the counter, stabbing the fork into the meat and offering it towards Jaejoong who in return gave an arched eyebrow.
"I can feed myself." He tried reached for it when Yunho pulled his hand away.
"Not until your hands are all better." He reasoned, Jaejoong stared at the fork in front of him and reluctantly ate from it. Yunho seemed happy as he continued to feed him until they finished most of the plate.
Jaejoong walked to the kitchen to get his own drink as Yunho had went to the bathroom. Wanting to at least do one simple task by himself, he reached for a glass and opened the refrigerator door to peer inside. His hand began to react slowly.
It wasn't as violent as how his hands were before, but it began to bother him. He tried to place it on the counter when it tilted and fell onto the ground, shattering on the ground completely.
He reached down immediately, forgetting to cover his hands as the glass shards cut into his fingers.
"Jaejoong?"
He barely looked up as Yunho pulled him away from the glass. Jaejoong could barely register his words as he sat on the couch, breaking free from his trance when the alcohol stung his cuts.
Jaejoong pushed his hands away and gave a slight glare. "That hurts." Yunho knelt in front of him as he continued to dab his wounds. "You don't have to do this."
"I know." Yunho replied as he gently wrapped his hand. Once satisfied with his work, he began to tenderly massage his wrists and fingers as he had been doing before.
This moment created new scenarios to pass through his mind. The ones that involved only them, that his motive would be beyond that of just being kind to something more. Jaejoong had wondered if those signs he had seen from Yunho were that obvious or were they just parts of his personality. He could really just be this kind, yet he could also feel something for him as well. He still wasn't sure.
What if he was wrong?
"There, done." Yunho said with a smile on his face as he looked up. He then noted Jaejoong's crestfallen expression. "What's wrong?"
"My hands..." He opened his eyes and looked down. "May never get better." He murmured solemnly. He reached to tuck his hair behind his ear when Yunho once again stopped him and did the task for him. His hand still against his face.
His hand laid against his cheek, cradling his face as Jaejoong murmured. "I'm afraid."
He hated feeling this weak, feeling as if his hands had aged beyond him.
Yunho enveloped him in his arms, holding on to him tightly. Jaejoong could have pushed him away, he didn't have to use his hands for that. He didn't however, instead he leaned against him, resting as he closed his eyes.
"I can still help." Yunho offered. "I can do as I always had around the house, with everything-"
"You don't have to." Jaejoong interjected, his earlier thought cruelly repeating in his head.
"It's fine, I don't mind." Yunho said kindly, Jaejoong cringed slightly at another passing thought.
He was being charitable, he was taking pity on him. Yunho was always that time of person, he now remembered the reason Yunho had always called him to those games. He didn't like seeing Jaejoong alone.
"How long will that kindness last?" Jaejoong asked accusingly. "Even yours has a time limit. Acquai... Friends can't give each other everything."
He huddled further into his arms, finding comfort in his hold, wanting more than anything than to just block those thoughts out.
"What if we were more than friends?"
Jaejoong opened his eyes.
"Could you accept it..." Yunho cleared his throat. "If we were more?"
Jaejoong slowly pulled away, he examined his expression as he concluded on his own. Ready to reject any excuse he may have. "You don't have to take care of me, I know you're just being nice-"
"This isn't me being nice." Yunho asserted, locking eyes with Jaejoong's. "This is me being completely selfish..."
Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrows, he watched as Yunho cleared his throat once more as the words were carefully spoken.
"When I recognized you then, I was surprised but happy. You may have forgotten but I didn't, and when the chance to get closer to came up, I did exactly that." He said with an awkward smile. "Wanting to help you because I've always liked you, even from before..."
Jaejoong remained quiet as he registered what he had just said, his motives becoming clearer. "Then why didn't you ever tell me?" Jaejoong asked quietly, Yunho gave a forced chuckle.
"I thought you would like someone that wasn't like me." He looked down, a weak smile on his discouraged expression. "Our personalities don't exactly match."
Jaejoong then recalled his words.
'Because I want to change.'
Jaejoong offered a small smile. "Could have asked me instead instead of believing an assumption." Jaejoong murmured, "I could have an entirely different opinion."
Yunho slightly widened his eyes, parting his lips to ask when Jaejoong took the initiative and leaned forward enough for their lips to meet. Yunho was completely stiff as Jaejoong gently brushed against his lips, when he pulled slightly he asked. "Was I wrong to believe in my own assumption?"
Instead, Yunho leaned forward eagerly as their lips met once again. He was far too gentle for both their preferences, but he cherished their touch alone for time being.
Yunho laid against Jaejoong's shoulder comfortably afterward, Jaejoong's eyes rested on the clock and sighed, not wanting to move. "I should be heading home." He tried to rise up when Yunho pulled him back and down used a bit of force to keep him that way. "You're holding me hostage."
Yunho nuzzled against his neck, holding onto him stubbornly. "Stay."
"I'll think about it." Jaejoong murmured as Yunho held him even tighter in protest. Jaejoong decided not to fight back as he relished in the warmth.
Yunho immediately pulled away, ruining the tranquil scene as he looked down at his hands. "Did I hurt you anywhere?" He suddenly realized, carefully grabbing Jaejoong's hands and examining them.
"I'm not that fragile." Jaejoong reminded. Yunho was still worried however, knowing it would be the only way to distract him, Jaejoong reached in for another kiss. It worked, Yunho had returned the kiss but was also mindful of his hands.
Reliving the moments in his head, Jaejoong found that he liked the fact that Yunho hadn't changed at all. It wasn't a disappointment in his eyes at all, but a relief. And the more Yunho stayed with him, the more he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.
Jaejoong then murmured. "My lips are not that fragile either." Yunho grinned as he obliged to his somewhat subtle demand. Jaejoong grinned as he pulled away once more, he watched as Yunho interlocked their hands. "I believe you're wrong."
Yunho arched an eyebrow. "Wrong how?" Jaejoong didn't move his hands to grip him or pull him closer, Yunho seemed to understood as he held him just as tightly.
Jaejoong looked at their adjoining hands, met his eyes and simply replied. "We match perfectly."
---
A/N: I always seem to listen to Futatsu No Kuchibiru EXILE every time I write Yunho/Jaejoong stories it seems...Well...for a lot of stories really, but with them, it has to be that song. One of these days I'll attempt a lighter story for them, but I keep wanting to write them in this way. Then again... maybe its the song...
I'll admit that this was inspired by my own hands, Many of the scenes and thoughts were based on this personal experience, I began to drop things and I hated not being able to do anything except wish for it to go away. Medical help really is too expensive but they're fine now if I don't put strain... I guess my own moral if anything is please take care of your hands ^^.
Pairing: Yunjae/Jaeho
Genre: AU!Romance/Drama
[Y][FF] Summary: Things that seemed so easy before are now a difficult task, as daily life becomes a burden, someone from his past returns to help lift a hand.
***
Jaejoong looked at the broken glass on the floor, simply staring until he finally turned away from it, not bothering to clean up the shattered mess. He walked out of the store before anyone noticed and down the sidewalks he continued. The cold air shifted around, unlike the others he didn't fix his scarf nor his jacket to stay warm.
Instead of fixing his attire, he walked into the nearby bookstore for shelter from the cold winds. Once inside he strolled through the aisles until he began to look through the literature section. He took out his hands from his pockets and pulled one out as he began to skim the pages.
The book was shaking yet he ignored it and continued to read the words.
It began to tilt and soon enough fell to the ground with a light thud. Jaejoong didn't look at the book however and instead at his hands that had now stopped shaking. He clenched them when he watched a hand lift the book from the floor.
He looked to see a man with a smile on his face as he offered the book. Jaejoong looked at the book and murmured, "Thank you." He reached for it and quickly returned it to its slot as he walked away. Barely noticing the distancing 'You're welcome' behind him or the puzzled look on the man's face.
As he strolled through the aisles, he felt the man's presence nearby and looked from the corner of his eyes at the man who occasionally glanced back at him. Jaejoong noted how the man pretended to examine the titles closely until he turned and walked towards him. Jaejoong also pretended that he wasn't aware of the man's actions until he was directly behind him.
He watched the reflection on the sign of the shelf, watching as the man repeatedly opened and closed his mouth. He then decided to keep them close as he turned away and walked another direction away from him.
Jaejoong didn't understand, but chose not to pursue the matter any further. He walked in the opposite direction and continued to roam around when he heard footsteps walking towards him.
He turned to see the man greeting him with a sincere smile. "H-hi."
Jaejoong returned the greeting without the stutter and watched as the man shift slightly uncomfortably.
"You lived in Gwangju right?" He asked. Jaejoong took a step back, unsure of whether to answer that question. The man seemed to notice his apprehension and gestured his hands. "I m-meant, I think..." He grabbed the roots of his hair, Jaejoong watched as the man struggled to form the words. "We went to the same school...back then."
Jaejoong tilted his head as he tried to recall when as watching the man's hands that that continually clutched the edge of his shirt. The memory of someone much younger who had the same habit resurfaced, it came piece by piece until the name appeared.
"Yunho?" Jaejoong questioned, the man looked up and his smile widened. It definitely was, Jaejoong thought, that smile was distinctive to only him. He himself offered his own small smile. "It's been a while."
Yunho nodded. "You left before you could graduate with everyone." Jaejoong arched an eyebrow, it had been a considerable amount of years since then, he was surprised that Yunho still remembered that but decided not to comment. "How have you been doing?"
"Good." Jaejoong replied, Yunho nodded happily as Jaejoong shifted his eyes. "You?"
"Great!" Yunho said cheerfully, Jaejoong lightly chuckled, he was still the same person as before. It was good to see his optimism hadn't changed through the years. Yunho's phone rang as he hurried to answer it, when he did, he solemnly closed it shut and pursed his lips. "I have to go now..."
"Me too actually." Jaejoong replied, he said his goodbyes and turned away when Yunho suddenly reached for his forearm.
Yunho dropped his hands immediately and gave a weak smile. "Would you like to?"
"Like to?" Jaejoong prompted.
"Like to meet up again? I'd understand if you didn't, but I thought it'd be nice to catch up and-"
"I wouldn't mind." He interjected, leaving Yunho to stop and process what he just said. Yunho handed over his phone as he did the same, Jaejoong clicked on each number but felt the tingles increasing. The phone shook slightly in his hand but he soon handed it over before it became noticeable.
With that they returned their phones and parted ways, Jaejoong placed his hands in his pocket as he pushed his way through the door.
Repeatedly clenching his hand as he walked back onto the streets.
---
Jaejoong watched as the program played on the TV, he clicked the buttons on the remote, ignoring the slight tingles in his fingers when he finally reached a show he could at least tolerate.
Yet it really just became intolerable, he looked at the remote as he tempted to turn it off, but decided against it. He ignored it otherwise and headed to the kitchen, he opened the door and carefully used both hands to lift the gallon of milk. He placed his cup on the table and tried to twist the cap.
He cursed under his breath when it wasn't moving. He tried again with the other hand, then with a towel, each time it wasn't budging. He sighed, this used to be such an easy task. He stopped momentarily and looked at his hands. He clenched them and opened them again, drawing a deep breath as he stared at them.
He heard his cellphone ring. He absentmindedly clicked the speaker button.
"Jaejoong?" The voice asked timidly, Jaejoong blinked before he recognized the voice.
"Ah, Yunho."
"Yes!" He answered cheerfully, another silence ensued.
"You called?" Jaejoong prompted.
"Ah, that's right." Jaejoong chuckled as Yunho continued. "I called to ask if maybe you would like to go eat dinner with me... I mean, as friends, even though we haven't seen each other in a long time so we're probably just acquaintances. But even then I think we should get to know each other better-"
"Where do I meet you?" Jaejoong interrupted, his habit of rambling didn't seem to leave him either. Jaejoong knew the place and agreed. When the call ended, he glanced at the milk gallon and wondered if having a meal was such a great idea. He nodded to himself that he would be fine and got ready for their meeting.
When he arrived at the casual bar, he walked inside and tried to push through the rather crowded place. He managed to find Yunho through it as the man struggled towards him, yelling loudly in his ear.
"I think we'll go somewhere else." Jaejoong nodded and allowed himself to be pushed out through the crowd. Once they were both outside and into the cold fresh air, they both looked awkwardly at one another.
"Have somewhere in mind?" Jaejoong asked, Yunho looked around.
He clapped and rubbed his hands together. "Street food is just as good." Jaejoong nodded as he followed him. When they decided on a place, they took their food with them as they sat on cement blocks. They both settled the food onto their laps as they started to eat.
"Mm," Yunho swallowed his food. "Remember when we used to play soccer in the courtyard after school?"
"I remember," Jaejoong chewed slowly. "Only I never played." He corrected.
"But you always came to watch..." Yunho said. "Why did you?" He faced him as Jaejoong continued to chew his food.
He remembered that reason quite clearly, it was a simple enough answer but he decided it was best not to say it out loud.
"Just felt like it." He replied instead. He stabbed his fork into his food when it missed just slightly, he focused his energy on his hand and tried once again and did it. He held it up to his mouth, though his hand was noticeably shaking.
"Are you cold?" Yunho asked. Jaejoong didn't answer as he tried to hold the fork and move it in the right direction. He took his last bite and then dropped his fork into the box and closed it.
"I'm full." He answered.
"I'm sorry, I should have found a warmer place." Yunho looked around. "There, we can-"
"Yunho, its fine." Jaejoong reassured, he tilted his head as he faced him. "You really haven't changed at all since then."
Yunho's expression fell as he looked away. "...That's disappointing to hear."
"Why?"
Yunho moved the food with his fork. "Because I want to change."
Jaejoong wanted to ask him further but noting his expression, he dropped it.
Yunho's smile returned as he got up. "It is getting cold though, let's head back." Jaejoong nodded as he followed him back to his apartment. Jaejoong reached for his keys, the tingles becoming stronger in his hands.
The key wouldn't directly go into the knob, his hand shook too much for it as he continued to attempt. Jaejoong then paused as he turned around, ready to tell Yunho to leave when Yunho reached for the keys in his hand. He watched as Yunho opened the door with ease, looking back at the keys in his hand.
Jaejoong outreached his hand, gesturing for the keys, Yunho was about to give them to him when he stopped himself. He was hesitant. "What's wrong with your hands?"
He could've brushed it off, turned him away. After all, they weren't close now and they had only briefly reacquainted. Though he couldn't face Yunho or even say those words, instead he was surprised at himself when he simply said. "I'll explain inside."
They both walked in, Jaejoong settled into the couch as Yunho sat beside him, a slight distance between them. Jaejoong placed his hands under his chin as Yunho waited for him to start. He patient when Jaejoong closed his eyes.
"If I had to be honest, I don't know what it is exactly." He explained. "But it's been getting worse, at first my wrists just hurt. But now its reached to my fingers and now when I hold things for too long, they do what you just saw."
"Does it hurt?" Yunho asked as he focused on his hands.
Jaejoong lowered them as he barely glanced at them. "Sometimes... if I don't use my hands often then it doesn't hurt as much."
"Have you seen a doctor?" Yunho asked worriedly.
"It's too expensive." Jaejoong sighed, before Yunho could retort, he replied back. "Yes, there is a price to my health, a price that's a little too high for me to handle."
Yunho pursed his lips. "Then don't use your hands until they feel better." He suggested.
"Its hard to not use your hands when everything in life requires even minimal use of it." Jaejoong pointed out.
A short silence ensued between them.
Yunho then gestured his hands in front of Jaejoong's eyes. "Then I'll be your hands." Jaejoong arched an eyebrow at his statement as Yunho continued on. "It's better not to cause stress on them, so I'll help you."
"You don't have to-"
"But I want to." Jaejoong blinked as he watched Yunho nod to himself. Wondering if there was a hidden motive behind the man's seemingly nice gestures.
"Yunho-"
"I can help." Yunho insisted. Jaejoong examined his expression but felt nothing malicious behind it, he looked down at his own hands, his fingers slightly moving as he willed it.
It was becoming more difficult each day to do such an action. He sighed as he reluctantly replied. "Fine then."
And that was how it was, Yunho somehow made it his job to see him nearly daily to make sure he didn't use his hands. The pain and tingles went away but another feeling was emerging. In Yunho's apartment, he noted that feeling as he watched the man cook before him, wondering how to go about it.
Jaejoong crossed his arms as he leaned on the counter. "You must be lonely."
"Extremely." Yunho said lightly, Jaejoong gave a small smile as he laid his head down on the counter. He closed his eyes for the time being. A while later, he stirred awake and was surprised to see straight into Yunho's eyes.
Yunho immediately got up and looked around. "Dinner's ready." He said as he reached for the two plates, Jaejoong slowly raised his head as he studied the man before him, wary of any movements he made.
Yunho placed the plates on the counter, stabbing the fork into the meat and offering it towards Jaejoong who in return gave an arched eyebrow.
"I can feed myself." He tried reached for it when Yunho pulled his hand away.
"Not until your hands are all better." He reasoned, Jaejoong stared at the fork in front of him and reluctantly ate from it. Yunho seemed happy as he continued to feed him until they finished most of the plate.
Jaejoong walked to the kitchen to get his own drink as Yunho had went to the bathroom. Wanting to at least do one simple task by himself, he reached for a glass and opened the refrigerator door to peer inside. His hand began to react slowly.
It wasn't as violent as how his hands were before, but it began to bother him. He tried to place it on the counter when it tilted and fell onto the ground, shattering on the ground completely.
He reached down immediately, forgetting to cover his hands as the glass shards cut into his fingers.
"Jaejoong?"
He barely looked up as Yunho pulled him away from the glass. Jaejoong could barely register his words as he sat on the couch, breaking free from his trance when the alcohol stung his cuts.
Jaejoong pushed his hands away and gave a slight glare. "That hurts." Yunho knelt in front of him as he continued to dab his wounds. "You don't have to do this."
"I know." Yunho replied as he gently wrapped his hand. Once satisfied with his work, he began to tenderly massage his wrists and fingers as he had been doing before.
This moment created new scenarios to pass through his mind. The ones that involved only them, that his motive would be beyond that of just being kind to something more. Jaejoong had wondered if those signs he had seen from Yunho were that obvious or were they just parts of his personality. He could really just be this kind, yet he could also feel something for him as well. He still wasn't sure.
What if he was wrong?
"There, done." Yunho said with a smile on his face as he looked up. He then noted Jaejoong's crestfallen expression. "What's wrong?"
"My hands..." He opened his eyes and looked down. "May never get better." He murmured solemnly. He reached to tuck his hair behind his ear when Yunho once again stopped him and did the task for him. His hand still against his face.
His hand laid against his cheek, cradling his face as Jaejoong murmured. "I'm afraid."
He hated feeling this weak, feeling as if his hands had aged beyond him.
Yunho enveloped him in his arms, holding on to him tightly. Jaejoong could have pushed him away, he didn't have to use his hands for that. He didn't however, instead he leaned against him, resting as he closed his eyes.
"I can still help." Yunho offered. "I can do as I always had around the house, with everything-"
"You don't have to." Jaejoong interjected, his earlier thought cruelly repeating in his head.
"It's fine, I don't mind." Yunho said kindly, Jaejoong cringed slightly at another passing thought.
He was being charitable, he was taking pity on him. Yunho was always that time of person, he now remembered the reason Yunho had always called him to those games. He didn't like seeing Jaejoong alone.
"How long will that kindness last?" Jaejoong asked accusingly. "Even yours has a time limit. Acquai... Friends can't give each other everything."
He huddled further into his arms, finding comfort in his hold, wanting more than anything than to just block those thoughts out.
"What if we were more than friends?"
Jaejoong opened his eyes.
"Could you accept it..." Yunho cleared his throat. "If we were more?"
Jaejoong slowly pulled away, he examined his expression as he concluded on his own. Ready to reject any excuse he may have. "You don't have to take care of me, I know you're just being nice-"
"This isn't me being nice." Yunho asserted, locking eyes with Jaejoong's. "This is me being completely selfish..."
Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrows, he watched as Yunho cleared his throat once more as the words were carefully spoken.
"When I recognized you then, I was surprised but happy. You may have forgotten but I didn't, and when the chance to get closer to came up, I did exactly that." He said with an awkward smile. "Wanting to help you because I've always liked you, even from before..."
Jaejoong remained quiet as he registered what he had just said, his motives becoming clearer. "Then why didn't you ever tell me?" Jaejoong asked quietly, Yunho gave a forced chuckle.
"I thought you would like someone that wasn't like me." He looked down, a weak smile on his discouraged expression. "Our personalities don't exactly match."
Jaejoong then recalled his words.
'Because I want to change.'
Jaejoong offered a small smile. "Could have asked me instead instead of believing an assumption." Jaejoong murmured, "I could have an entirely different opinion."
Yunho slightly widened his eyes, parting his lips to ask when Jaejoong took the initiative and leaned forward enough for their lips to meet. Yunho was completely stiff as Jaejoong gently brushed against his lips, when he pulled slightly he asked. "Was I wrong to believe in my own assumption?"
Instead, Yunho leaned forward eagerly as their lips met once again. He was far too gentle for both their preferences, but he cherished their touch alone for time being.
Yunho laid against Jaejoong's shoulder comfortably afterward, Jaejoong's eyes rested on the clock and sighed, not wanting to move. "I should be heading home." He tried to rise up when Yunho pulled him back and down used a bit of force to keep him that way. "You're holding me hostage."
Yunho nuzzled against his neck, holding onto him stubbornly. "Stay."
"I'll think about it." Jaejoong murmured as Yunho held him even tighter in protest. Jaejoong decided not to fight back as he relished in the warmth.
Yunho immediately pulled away, ruining the tranquil scene as he looked down at his hands. "Did I hurt you anywhere?" He suddenly realized, carefully grabbing Jaejoong's hands and examining them.
"I'm not that fragile." Jaejoong reminded. Yunho was still worried however, knowing it would be the only way to distract him, Jaejoong reached in for another kiss. It worked, Yunho had returned the kiss but was also mindful of his hands.
Reliving the moments in his head, Jaejoong found that he liked the fact that Yunho hadn't changed at all. It wasn't a disappointment in his eyes at all, but a relief. And the more Yunho stayed with him, the more he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.
Jaejoong then murmured. "My lips are not that fragile either." Yunho grinned as he obliged to his somewhat subtle demand. Jaejoong grinned as he pulled away once more, he watched as Yunho interlocked their hands. "I believe you're wrong."
Yunho arched an eyebrow. "Wrong how?" Jaejoong didn't move his hands to grip him or pull him closer, Yunho seemed to understood as he held him just as tightly.
Jaejoong looked at their adjoining hands, met his eyes and simply replied. "We match perfectly."
---
A/N: I always seem to listen to Futatsu No Kuchibiru EXILE every time I write Yunho/Jaejoong stories it seems...Well...for a lot of stories really, but with them, it has to be that song. One of these days I'll attempt a lighter story for them, but I keep wanting to write them in this way. Then again... maybe its the song...
I'll admit that this was inspired by my own hands, Many of the scenes and thoughts were based on this personal experience, I began to drop things and I hated not being able to do anything except wish for it to go away. Medical help really is too expensive but they're fine now if I don't put strain... I guess my own moral if anything is please take care of your hands ^^.