Men called horse - Chapter 9 - It never goes as planned
This story is rated explicit, for warnings, please check out chapter 1.
Here is chapter 9, which can also be found on AO3.
“Neal, are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale.”
Neal leans into Peter´s hug.
“You are going to be OK.”
Peter keeps Neal in his bear hug while Peggy administers a sedative in Neal´s IV. Peter keeps talking to Neal, reassuring him until he can feel Neal slowly getting limp. He can tell when Neal is out the moment he really has to support him.
“OK Peter, we will take it from here. Why don´t you wait in the kitchen?”
“Sure. Good luck.”
Peter walks out in search of John. He finds him working with a nice mare. She has a nice trot and she seems to be enjoying herself. It was strange to find out that all the other horses at Vesta Stables are there because they want to be. It is a concept that never occurred to Peter, he always thought that most of the horses are forced into the life.
“Hi John.”
“Oh Hi Peter, Neal under?”
“Yeah.”
John studies Peter. He can see the tension in Peter´s posture.
“You want to go in harness?”
Peter thinks about it and then nods. He doesn´t speak. When he gets into pony headspace, he tends not to talk. John calls out for a stable hand to take over his training so he can spend time with Peter.
John takes a piece of rope and quickly and efficiently restrains Peter and guides him to the stable where he takes out Peter´s tack and starts grooming him. He can see it relaxes Peter.
When he is in full harness, John takes him out and makes him work out in the walker.
It feels good not to have to think human thoughts, just follow the directions of the handler. Peter clears his mind and let´s himself sink into his pony space.
* * *
A tug on the lounge line makes Peter stop. His feet hurt and his muscles are tired, but he feels good. All stress is gone and he hasn´t been thinking about Neal, his mind is clear again.
“Neal is out of surgery. Do you want to see him?”
Peter looks up. He can see the stable hand walking away, he probably told John the news. Of course he wants to. Something must have happened if they stopped this soon. He runs towards the vet room. Neal is sleeping, but the intubation tube is still present. There are wires and tubes everywhere. His face is flushed and there is a sheen of sweat on his face. There is what looks like an inflatable blanket covering him.
“Peter, Neal is fine. But we discovered that Neal has a disorder called Maglignant Hyperthermia. Unfortunately, this disorder is triggered when someone who carries the gene is exposed to certain inhaled anesthetics. the intubation tube is just a precaution, because we don´t want swelling in his throat to compromise his airway. Once he is a bit more alert and the swelling stays down, we will remove it.”
“Is he in pain?”
“No, we are monitoring him closely. Why don´t you get out of harness and sit with him?”
Peter studies himself, he forgot he was still in tack. He walks to the stable where a stable hand helps him out take the harness off. He then quickly walks back to the vet room where Peggy already put a chair next to Neal.
“What happened?”
“When we brought Neal under, we experienced unexpected reactions. When a patient who carries the gene is exposed to certain anesthetics, the metabolism speeds up, the muscles become rigid and the body temperature rises dramatically. Luckily our team recognized the signs and immediately pushed Dantrolene, which is a muscle relaxant and an antidote. We were able to get Neal´s vitals back under control and he is not in any danger at the moment.”
“So you were not able to perform the surgery?”
Peggy shakes her head.
“No, I am sorry.”
Peter nods.
“This is what probably happened when they took his voice. He had a high fever and didn´t respond to anything.”
“They were lucky he survived, sometimes this disorder will cause circulatory collapse and death if it is not treated. I don´t think the vet that operated on you guys at the time had the skills and the means to treat Neal properly.”
Peter can feel tears built in his eyes when he thinks back at that moment he realized Neal was not OK.
“Peter, I want you to go have some dinner with John. I will take care of Neal.”
“He still hasn´t woken up, is that normal?”
“It is to be expected, but we are monitoring him closely.”
“I will stay with him.”
“Peter, please, let us work, and get some food, I don´t want to worry about you too, OK?”
Peter nods. He knows she is right. He gets up and walks out to look for John.
* * *
He wakes because he is dunked with ice cold water. What is happening? What. A cattle prod is pushed against him and pain shoots through him. He gasps and tries to get away from the cattle prod. Someone pulls him upright and he does his best to get his legs under himself, but they feel like jelly and he drops down hard. He has trouble focusing on things and he is so hot. The nausea is building and he starts dry heaving. The pain in his throat is excruciating and he can feel his vision whiting out. He is kicked again, and he tries to crawl away.
“I guess he is OK. If he can crawl, he will be OK.”
Cruel laughter can be heard.
“Make sure his fever stays down, we don´t want him to cook his brain.”
Neal tries to curl up in a ball, but he is again kicked and uncurls himself.
A man pulls his head up and another one fastens a spiked bit between his teeth. He is too weak to fight them off. While they are buckling the bit in his mouth, Neal realizes this one gives them serious control. The spikes are sharp unyielding steel. The joint in the bit snaffle means the spikes dig painfully into the corners of his mouth, and that is without any pressure of a lead rope or reins.
“Put the bulldog on him.”
Neal is frantically searching for the dog when a clamp is pinched on his septum. The bull dog they were talking about turns out to be a nose grip. Tears spring in his eyes when the clamp´s spring closes. They loop a piece of leather through it and it is pulled. Neal cries out, but there is no sound. He suddenly realizes what must have happened. That is also why he doesn´t hear Peter.
They put on a posture collar that prevents Neal from looking up or down, but worse, it forces his jaw closed around the spiked bit. They loop reins from the bit rings down his back and attach them to his bound wrists. Neal is desperate, if he so much as tries to move his bound arms, he will pull on the bit and the spikes will dig in his lips, tongue and gums.
He is once again pulled to his feet and they start to buckle again.
“You better stay upright, because you will suffocate yourself otherwise.” A menacing voice hisses in his ear.
Neal realizes they attached his chock chain to a ring in the wall of the stable. He uses all of his strength to stay upright. There is pain everywhere, in his throat, nose, where they kicked him and prodded him. He is miserable, and all he wants to do is lay down and feel sorry for himself.
He tries to turn and see where Peter is, but he stands on the other side of the stable and is wearing blinders, so he won´t be able to see him. He can see that Peter is worried and anxious, not being able to see what is happening to Neal.
* * *
Neal wakes up feeling sticky, hot and feeling generally not well. It takes him a moment to realize that something is wrong.
“Neal? Neal can you hear me, I want you to keep calm, OK. The ventilator is breathing for you.”
That is what is wrong, he isn´t breathing, panic bubbles up and someone holds his hand, and he wants to pull away, until he hears it is Peter.
“Neal, calm down, you are fine, I am here.”
Neal opens his eyes and looks into Peter´s worried face. Peter must have guessed his question, because he asks Peggy to explain to Neal what happened.
She explains but Neal is feeling too sick to really care what she is saying. He gestures to the ventilator and she explains it is just a precaution until they are sure he is not having side effects. He nods but can feel drugs pulling him down again and he lets go.
* * *
Peggy pushes a light sedative so Neal would be more relaxed, but he just fell asleep again. She can see that peter is worried.
“He is doing good, Peter, we will take care of him. Finding out that he has the disorder is just a setback, we are not giving up.”
“Thank you, Peggy, it is just, he has been through so much. I…”
“We will find a way, Peter. Stay with him, I will go talk to his surgeon.”
“Thanks.”
* * *
One of the breakers approaches him. He has something is his hand and Neal tries to see what it is. When he does see it, he panics and tries to pull away, but another man pulls up his choke chain, effectively cutting off his air. Foam plugs are pushed into his nose, in a reflex, Neal wants to open his mouth, but the posture collar pushes his jaw closed around the bit. He does his best to open his mouth as far as he can to make sure he gets enough air. The choke chain is released and a pull on the reins makes sure Neal complies in following the breaker. He is lead to a treadmill. His choke chain is attached to it, so he knows he will need to run once the machine starts otherwise he will strangle himself.
The machine starts and Neal starts trotting. He can´t pull in enough air because he can´t use his nose anymore and the tight harness restricts his breathing on the best of days. He is getting lightheaded. A whip makes sure he knows what he needs to adjust in his trot. The strain on his upper body from having his elbows bound behind his back and the harness, make sure it feels like he is trying to fill his lungs through a straw. He can feel the panic rising, he can´t get enough air, he is suffocating. The feeling terrifies him.
“Neal! Breathe!”
He startles and pulls in a gulp of air. He opens his eyes, only to stare in the worried face of Peggy and Peter.
“Thank God.”
Neal´s eyes must look panicked, because Peggy pets Neal´s arm.
“You’re OK, Neal. We think you might have been dreaming and you were gasping for air. You had us worried for a second. We removed the ventilator earlier.”
Neal does his best to get his bearing. Dreaming might not be the right word to describe the nightmare he just relieved, and the worst part is, it is not a dream, it really happened.
He nods that he is OK and Peter nods back. He understands, he probably knows what Neal was reliving.
* * *
Neal and Peter carefully leave the trailer and walk with John back to their stable. John leaves them to take a shower.
Neal follows his nose, after a day at Vesta Stables, working out with the other ponies, he is hungry. The door between the stable door and the kitchen is now permanently open. Peggy always gives John a lunch box for them, but he is still hungry and he always tries to steal a snack from the kitchen or to make Peggy give him something. He peers into the kitchen and Peter studies how stealthy Neal can be, even with the hooved boots. He quickly sneaks into the kitchen, gets a piece of cucumber and is out again, before anyone is the wiser.
“There was no cake, hmm?” Peter smiles.
Neal smiles back a bit guilty and nods his head, nibbling on the piece of cucumber. He almost chokes on the piece when John comes in to call them in for dinner. The takes them out of harness and they follow John into the kitchen and Peggy serves their dinner.
“Neal, I asked Frank Blanck to look into your anesthesia and he has a solution. He has a sedative that he can use safely. But to be safe, he wants to perform the surgery in a trauma center.”
Neal looks up and a bit unsure.
“We will be with you. I will join the team like we did here. I think we should give it a try. He guarantees that it is safe to use this sedative and he gave me some scientific reports that substantiate his claim. I think we should try it.”
Peter turns to Neal to see what Neal would want.
“Neal, I also think you should do it. I really want to hear that silver tongue of you again.” Peter smiles and Neal smiles shyly. He nods. There is no other option, he can´t go through live a mute. He needs his voice.
Here is chapter 9, which can also be found on AO3.
“Neal, are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale.”
Neal leans into Peter´s hug.
“You are going to be OK.”
Peter keeps Neal in his bear hug while Peggy administers a sedative in Neal´s IV. Peter keeps talking to Neal, reassuring him until he can feel Neal slowly getting limp. He can tell when Neal is out the moment he really has to support him.
“OK Peter, we will take it from here. Why don´t you wait in the kitchen?”
“Sure. Good luck.”
Peter walks out in search of John. He finds him working with a nice mare. She has a nice trot and she seems to be enjoying herself. It was strange to find out that all the other horses at Vesta Stables are there because they want to be. It is a concept that never occurred to Peter, he always thought that most of the horses are forced into the life.
“Hi John.”
“Oh Hi Peter, Neal under?”
“Yeah.”
John studies Peter. He can see the tension in Peter´s posture.
“You want to go in harness?”
Peter thinks about it and then nods. He doesn´t speak. When he gets into pony headspace, he tends not to talk. John calls out for a stable hand to take over his training so he can spend time with Peter.
John takes a piece of rope and quickly and efficiently restrains Peter and guides him to the stable where he takes out Peter´s tack and starts grooming him. He can see it relaxes Peter.
When he is in full harness, John takes him out and makes him work out in the walker.
It feels good not to have to think human thoughts, just follow the directions of the handler. Peter clears his mind and let´s himself sink into his pony space.
* * *
A tug on the lounge line makes Peter stop. His feet hurt and his muscles are tired, but he feels good. All stress is gone and he hasn´t been thinking about Neal, his mind is clear again.
“Neal is out of surgery. Do you want to see him?”
Peter looks up. He can see the stable hand walking away, he probably told John the news. Of course he wants to. Something must have happened if they stopped this soon. He runs towards the vet room. Neal is sleeping, but the intubation tube is still present. There are wires and tubes everywhere. His face is flushed and there is a sheen of sweat on his face. There is what looks like an inflatable blanket covering him.
“Peter, Neal is fine. But we discovered that Neal has a disorder called Maglignant Hyperthermia. Unfortunately, this disorder is triggered when someone who carries the gene is exposed to certain inhaled anesthetics. the intubation tube is just a precaution, because we don´t want swelling in his throat to compromise his airway. Once he is a bit more alert and the swelling stays down, we will remove it.”
“Is he in pain?”
“No, we are monitoring him closely. Why don´t you get out of harness and sit with him?”
Peter studies himself, he forgot he was still in tack. He walks to the stable where a stable hand helps him out take the harness off. He then quickly walks back to the vet room where Peggy already put a chair next to Neal.
“What happened?”
“When we brought Neal under, we experienced unexpected reactions. When a patient who carries the gene is exposed to certain anesthetics, the metabolism speeds up, the muscles become rigid and the body temperature rises dramatically. Luckily our team recognized the signs and immediately pushed Dantrolene, which is a muscle relaxant and an antidote. We were able to get Neal´s vitals back under control and he is not in any danger at the moment.”
“So you were not able to perform the surgery?”
Peggy shakes her head.
“No, I am sorry.”
Peter nods.
“This is what probably happened when they took his voice. He had a high fever and didn´t respond to anything.”
“They were lucky he survived, sometimes this disorder will cause circulatory collapse and death if it is not treated. I don´t think the vet that operated on you guys at the time had the skills and the means to treat Neal properly.”
Peter can feel tears built in his eyes when he thinks back at that moment he realized Neal was not OK.
“Peter, I want you to go have some dinner with John. I will take care of Neal.”
“He still hasn´t woken up, is that normal?”
“It is to be expected, but we are monitoring him closely.”
“I will stay with him.”
“Peter, please, let us work, and get some food, I don´t want to worry about you too, OK?”
Peter nods. He knows she is right. He gets up and walks out to look for John.
* * *
He wakes because he is dunked with ice cold water. What is happening? What. A cattle prod is pushed against him and pain shoots through him. He gasps and tries to get away from the cattle prod. Someone pulls him upright and he does his best to get his legs under himself, but they feel like jelly and he drops down hard. He has trouble focusing on things and he is so hot. The nausea is building and he starts dry heaving. The pain in his throat is excruciating and he can feel his vision whiting out. He is kicked again, and he tries to crawl away.
“I guess he is OK. If he can crawl, he will be OK.”
Cruel laughter can be heard.
“Make sure his fever stays down, we don´t want him to cook his brain.”
Neal tries to curl up in a ball, but he is again kicked and uncurls himself.
A man pulls his head up and another one fastens a spiked bit between his teeth. He is too weak to fight them off. While they are buckling the bit in his mouth, Neal realizes this one gives them serious control. The spikes are sharp unyielding steel. The joint in the bit snaffle means the spikes dig painfully into the corners of his mouth, and that is without any pressure of a lead rope or reins.
“Put the bulldog on him.”
Neal is frantically searching for the dog when a clamp is pinched on his septum. The bull dog they were talking about turns out to be a nose grip. Tears spring in his eyes when the clamp´s spring closes. They loop a piece of leather through it and it is pulled. Neal cries out, but there is no sound. He suddenly realizes what must have happened. That is also why he doesn´t hear Peter.
They put on a posture collar that prevents Neal from looking up or down, but worse, it forces his jaw closed around the spiked bit. They loop reins from the bit rings down his back and attach them to his bound wrists. Neal is desperate, if he so much as tries to move his bound arms, he will pull on the bit and the spikes will dig in his lips, tongue and gums.
He is once again pulled to his feet and they start to buckle again.
“You better stay upright, because you will suffocate yourself otherwise.” A menacing voice hisses in his ear.
Neal realizes they attached his chock chain to a ring in the wall of the stable. He uses all of his strength to stay upright. There is pain everywhere, in his throat, nose, where they kicked him and prodded him. He is miserable, and all he wants to do is lay down and feel sorry for himself.
He tries to turn and see where Peter is, but he stands on the other side of the stable and is wearing blinders, so he won´t be able to see him. He can see that Peter is worried and anxious, not being able to see what is happening to Neal.
* * *
Neal wakes up feeling sticky, hot and feeling generally not well. It takes him a moment to realize that something is wrong.
“Neal? Neal can you hear me, I want you to keep calm, OK. The ventilator is breathing for you.”
That is what is wrong, he isn´t breathing, panic bubbles up and someone holds his hand, and he wants to pull away, until he hears it is Peter.
“Neal, calm down, you are fine, I am here.”
Neal opens his eyes and looks into Peter´s worried face. Peter must have guessed his question, because he asks Peggy to explain to Neal what happened.
She explains but Neal is feeling too sick to really care what she is saying. He gestures to the ventilator and she explains it is just a precaution until they are sure he is not having side effects. He nods but can feel drugs pulling him down again and he lets go.
* * *
Peggy pushes a light sedative so Neal would be more relaxed, but he just fell asleep again. She can see that peter is worried.
“He is doing good, Peter, we will take care of him. Finding out that he has the disorder is just a setback, we are not giving up.”
“Thank you, Peggy, it is just, he has been through so much. I…”
“We will find a way, Peter. Stay with him, I will go talk to his surgeon.”
“Thanks.”
* * *
One of the breakers approaches him. He has something is his hand and Neal tries to see what it is. When he does see it, he panics and tries to pull away, but another man pulls up his choke chain, effectively cutting off his air. Foam plugs are pushed into his nose, in a reflex, Neal wants to open his mouth, but the posture collar pushes his jaw closed around the bit. He does his best to open his mouth as far as he can to make sure he gets enough air. The choke chain is released and a pull on the reins makes sure Neal complies in following the breaker. He is lead to a treadmill. His choke chain is attached to it, so he knows he will need to run once the machine starts otherwise he will strangle himself.
The machine starts and Neal starts trotting. He can´t pull in enough air because he can´t use his nose anymore and the tight harness restricts his breathing on the best of days. He is getting lightheaded. A whip makes sure he knows what he needs to adjust in his trot. The strain on his upper body from having his elbows bound behind his back and the harness, make sure it feels like he is trying to fill his lungs through a straw. He can feel the panic rising, he can´t get enough air, he is suffocating. The feeling terrifies him.
“Neal! Breathe!”
He startles and pulls in a gulp of air. He opens his eyes, only to stare in the worried face of Peggy and Peter.
“Thank God.”
Neal´s eyes must look panicked, because Peggy pets Neal´s arm.
“You’re OK, Neal. We think you might have been dreaming and you were gasping for air. You had us worried for a second. We removed the ventilator earlier.”
Neal does his best to get his bearing. Dreaming might not be the right word to describe the nightmare he just relieved, and the worst part is, it is not a dream, it really happened.
He nods that he is OK and Peter nods back. He understands, he probably knows what Neal was reliving.
* * *
Neal and Peter carefully leave the trailer and walk with John back to their stable. John leaves them to take a shower.
Neal follows his nose, after a day at Vesta Stables, working out with the other ponies, he is hungry. The door between the stable door and the kitchen is now permanently open. Peggy always gives John a lunch box for them, but he is still hungry and he always tries to steal a snack from the kitchen or to make Peggy give him something. He peers into the kitchen and Peter studies how stealthy Neal can be, even with the hooved boots. He quickly sneaks into the kitchen, gets a piece of cucumber and is out again, before anyone is the wiser.
“There was no cake, hmm?” Peter smiles.
Neal smiles back a bit guilty and nods his head, nibbling on the piece of cucumber. He almost chokes on the piece when John comes in to call them in for dinner. The takes them out of harness and they follow John into the kitchen and Peggy serves their dinner.
“Neal, I asked Frank Blanck to look into your anesthesia and he has a solution. He has a sedative that he can use safely. But to be safe, he wants to perform the surgery in a trauma center.”
Neal looks up and a bit unsure.
“We will be with you. I will join the team like we did here. I think we should give it a try. He guarantees that it is safe to use this sedative and he gave me some scientific reports that substantiate his claim. I think we should try it.”
Peter turns to Neal to see what Neal would want.
“Neal, I also think you should do it. I really want to hear that silver tongue of you again.” Peter smiles and Neal smiles shyly. He nods. There is no other option, he can´t go through live a mute. He needs his voice.