Nothing is ever as it appears...
The nightmares are back.
I don't think I've had a decent nights sleep in a week. I feel drained, weak. underneath my 'strong' exterior, i'm weaker than a newborn kit. I just feel so emotionally dead. everythings been drained and i'm running on fumes, which in my case is substantial.
I keep giving and giving and giving, and I can't help it, that's what I do. But I can't complain, and I can't ask. The others have bigger problems than me, and I cannot break. I'm supposed to be strong. But god it hurts. it hurts so bad. And I know my 'problems' are trivial compared to their's, mine are so juvenile,so pathetic, so stupid... but it doesn't change that fact. Goddess I feel so pathetic. so weak. and there's nothing I can do about it. not a damn thing. I just want someone to love me. I want to be able to let those walls down that I so carefully build and feel safe. Like I don't have to worry, i'm warm, and safe, and loved, and everything is wonderful, even if it isn't. I want to be able to cry and be comforted, to be cradled, to be loved...
:: sighs ::
Well, I think I'm gonna hit the sack.
whee.
I don't think I've had a decent nights sleep in a week. I feel drained, weak. underneath my 'strong' exterior, i'm weaker than a newborn kit. I just feel so emotionally dead. everythings been drained and i'm running on fumes, which in my case is substantial.
I keep giving and giving and giving, and I can't help it, that's what I do. But I can't complain, and I can't ask. The others have bigger problems than me, and I cannot break. I'm supposed to be strong. But god it hurts. it hurts so bad. And I know my 'problems' are trivial compared to their's, mine are so juvenile,so pathetic, so stupid... but it doesn't change that fact. Goddess I feel so pathetic. so weak. and there's nothing I can do about it. not a damn thing. I just want someone to love me. I want to be able to let those walls down that I so carefully build and feel safe. Like I don't have to worry, i'm warm, and safe, and loved, and everything is wonderful, even if it isn't. I want to be able to cry and be comforted, to be cradled, to be loved...
:: sighs ::
Well, I think I'm gonna hit the sack.
whee.