WHARRGARBL RAEG. || LOL, I FAIL
So, I have a preface to this.
You know, I really love satire. And sarcasm. And parody. I do!
But sometimes, I fail to pick up on it.
Case in point: All the stuff below.
But because my points still stand about strict fundamentalists, and it makes me laugh now, I'll leave it up. (I also admit to my mistakes.)
Have a good day! <3
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I really need to stop ranting, but OKAY, THIS PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.
I am not Christian for several reasons, but stuff like THIS is one of the reasons why. This article fills me with so much WTFRAEGE that not even 100 of Jack Sparrow's Jars 'o Dirt could hold it all.
For those who don't have Adobe Reader or whatever, the article is called "God Hates Rape Victims" and is a tract released by the Society of Christians, using several verses from Deuteronomy, Numbers, and Leviticus to back up their claim that rape is OK in God's eyes, or at least that the victims are at fault and they are secretly full of evil.
The Society of Christians (who I have honestly never heard of before) wants to revive the Old Testament, word for word. So according to this article, citing Deuteronomy, any woman who is betrothed/a virgin/otherwise not married and is raped is at fault. They are evil and should be stoned along with the rapist. The only time where it's NOT the woman's fault is if she's out in the country, because the idea is that if she was in the city, she would have "cried out" and would have been helped (if only that were true). Oh, and that only applies to virgins.
(Other things from the Old Testament that should maybe stay dead: not eating hoofed animals, the brother of a man who dies childless must marry his widow, a priest with a blemish must not make offerings, not eating the produce of mixed seed planting, and do not remove the signs of leprosy. A few more, too. :< )
Just...it ASTOUNDS me that they call themselves "loving Christians" and yet they think it's the VICTIM'S fault for being raped, just because no one may have helped or heard her...I AM SORRY, BUT THE OLD TESTAMENT DOES NOT APPLY THE SAME WAY TODAY. Cities are way bigger. And as was evidenced by the sad death of an immigrant who bled to death on the sidewalk, oftentimes people just do not help....
I see a lot of Christians who complain that they are typecast as hateful, ignorant, bigoted, etc. The problem is that groups like The Society of Christians and the Westboro Baptist Church are allowed to spread their hatred and vitriol and nobody from the Christian side of things says a word. By not saying "Dude, guys, don't listen to them, they're nuthouses" we must assume you agree...or that you just don't care. I assume that most Christians don't agree with either of those groups (or similar groups), yet why is there no word from them? (This is the same problem Islam is having, except theirs is on a worse scale.)
:<
I didn't notice at first, but it was also published on a website run by the SoC, and I saw this line at the bottom of the page, which is a lot like the crappy cardboard fondant on a really bad cake:
"You may download this page in tract form and pass it out to show your Christian love and compassion."
BECAUSE BLAMING RAPE VICTIMS IS SO COMPASSIONATE, GUYS.
EDIT:
WTF IS THIS SHIT. HOW DOES ANYONE TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY.
"Liberals have also corrupted our public schools to the extent that our precious children are taught that insects have six legs, when the Bible quite plainly states that they have four. Six, of course, is each of the digits of 666, the Mark of the Beast. Thus, it is clear that Satan, through liberals, has placed his hoof mark on our schools."
EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO LAUGH MYSELF STUPID, KTHNXBAI.
EDIT #2:
Holy crapstickles, it gets even worse!
"Thanks to them, we experience horrors like pornographic Web sites and people flying airplanes into 110-story buildings - horrors that quite simply could not have been imagined back when George Washington was President."
Maybe because the Internet, airplanes, and 110-story buildings weren't around when George Washington was President.
"But worst of all, liberals have corrupted the very Constitution on which this nation is founded. Originally, as so many Spirit-filled, Bible-believing pastors have reminded us, the U.S. Constitution was based firmly on the Book of Deuteronomy. That means that Constitutional rights applied only the God-fearing, Bible-believing majority. Then, unelected liberal activist judges rewrote the Constitution to read that Constitutional rights can somehow protect people from those in charge - the exact opposite of what they’re supposed to be. As a horrifying consequence, Christians are now being persecuted by not being allowed to run the country the way we like."
I refer you again to the First Amendment. Also, at that last bit: WTF MAN, GO FOUND YOUR OWN DAMN COUNTRY IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. I HEAR OF SOME ABANDONED PACIFIC ISLANDS THAT ARE NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.
They're also sinking. Sorry!
(Does this mean I'm also being persecuted by not being allowed to run the country the way I'd like?)
"Q. Why can’t you realize that some verses of the Bible make sense only when interpreted correctly?
A. Because that isn’t true. Where does it say in the Bible that we’re supposed to interpret things because the literal meaning doesn’t make sense? Nowhere, that’s where!"
Do they realize that the Bible wasn't originally written in English? I really think they don't.
"Q. You people don't actually advocate beating children, do you?
A. We're not the ones advocating anything. The Bible says what it says on the subject in no uncertain terms (Prov. 22:15, Prov. 23:13-14). If you have a quarrel with that, then you have a quarrel with the Bible, not with us."
So I can SAY I follow the Bible down to its last letter, I can GIVE you all these Bible verses that prove what I'm following, I can try to CONVINCE you to do the same...but I'm not advocating it! *Mysterious,* how this "logic" thing works.
ad·vo·cate
-verb (used with object)
1.to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly: He advocated higher salaries for teachers.
-noun
2.a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc. (usually fol. by of): an advocate of peace.
3.a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor.
4.a person who pleads the cause of another in a court of law.
"Q. Don't you people realize that this country was founded by Deists and freethinkers rather than devout Protestants who believed in the KJV and The Fundamentals?
A. Sorry, but this country was founded by Christian conservatives. Just ask any Christian conservative, and he'll tell you so. Are you saying that Christian conservative sources cannot be trusted unless they're backed up by a secular source with a clear liberal, atheist agenda? "
"Of course Hitler was right. Just ask any Nazi and he'll tell you so."
Also: LOL, let's contradict what the "Christian conservatives" themselves said! (This is a good article too, but the SoC will just say it's a Christ-hating liberal link. As evidenced on this page.)
Here's a free hint, SoC: of course Christian conservatives say the Founders were Christian conservatives because they want to be right. omglol isn't that funny!!!!!1111
I wonder if they realize that the word "God" is used NOWEHRE IN THE CONSTITUTION. Read it and weep. (Or Ctrl+F it.)
Let's not forget that the SoC also advocates slavery (I refer you to the advocation point) and also believes that it is okay to beat a slave to death AS LONG AS IT IS A SLOW DEATH:
"'And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he [is] his money.” (Note that last bit: Beating your slave to death is acceptable as long as it’s a lingering death.)'"
They also believe that the world is flat, that we've tamed all animals, we shouldn't go to the doctor, the Earth is not floating around in space, God is storing hail and snow for "war" usage, and something about genetics that my reading comprehension is failing on due to the surrounding stupidity.
One thing that just is made of utter fail here is that they use the Bible to back up ALL of their claims. "The Bible says the Bible is true, so it must be true!" BRAIN=BORKED. You know how you're not supposed to use the word you're defining in the definition? SAME RULE. YOU CANNOT USE THE BIBLE TO BACK UP CLAIMS THAT THE BIBLE IS RIGHT.
To The Society of Christians for the Restoration of Old Testament Morality: WHAT ARE YOU ON, MAN.
I thought the Westboro Baptist Church was bad, but now I realize: They just hate people. You, however, are terminally dense. I can't take you seriously anymore because every claim you make is flimsy and based on the Bible. You just keep on spinning your tires while the rest of us laugh.
I'm going on my own way with my liberal, pagan, free-thinking, womanly, non-racist, open-minded, un-Christian, dirty-joke-appreciating, works-on-Sundays self. I'll see you in Hell, assuming it exists. (I don't think it does. :B )
You all have a good day. I need to lay down or something. Oy, my head.