Making a group
Hi all!
Due to many many many conversations with Joe, I've decided to start writing/working out my issues and memories of the House (PTSD). For this, I'm going to write memories, what I think of them, how I feel about them now... stuff like that.
Why? To stay out of therapy/institutions. I'm having more flashbacks than normal (4 this month), and it needs to be dealt with. However, any good shrink will tell me to go into a hospital for a while and do intensive therapy. I know, I've heard it already. Fuck that.
So! I'm going to try my own version of therapy. I've always been a pretty introverted thinker, self-analyzing, etc. and I think this isn't going to change. I'd rather do it in the safety and quiet of my own home.
Now, why am I doing this somewhere you can see? Partially to get it out there. So many people have given the response of "wow, you make so much more sense now" when they hear what I've been through. Perhaps now my friends will better understand - especially ones who have seen a flashback.
Why should anyone read something that was bad enough to cause trauma? Well, there's always a sense of morbid curiosity. But! I want this out there (to those I trust enough to let in the group) so that you can help me to realize that THIS reality is the real one... not the one in my head. I want comfort from my friends. I want discussion about how I'm looking at things, and other points of view. I have this one voice in my head that runs the PTSD, and I need counter-voices, preferably from those I love and trust.
Make sense? If so, respond to this and let me know you want in the group. FAIR WARNING: it could be graphic. It could be really harsh. I won't be pulling punches. This is therapy for me, so it will be exactly as I remember it.
ALSO: for those who get in... NO, you will not be given names. This is meant to help me get better, not seeking vengeance. If you don't get in... please don't be offended. It probably just means I'm not comfortable opening up that much to you.
Due to many many many conversations with Joe, I've decided to start writing/working out my issues and memories of the House (PTSD). For this, I'm going to write memories, what I think of them, how I feel about them now... stuff like that.
Why? To stay out of therapy/institutions. I'm having more flashbacks than normal (4 this month), and it needs to be dealt with. However, any good shrink will tell me to go into a hospital for a while and do intensive therapy. I know, I've heard it already. Fuck that.
So! I'm going to try my own version of therapy. I've always been a pretty introverted thinker, self-analyzing, etc. and I think this isn't going to change. I'd rather do it in the safety and quiet of my own home.
Now, why am I doing this somewhere you can see? Partially to get it out there. So many people have given the response of "wow, you make so much more sense now" when they hear what I've been through. Perhaps now my friends will better understand - especially ones who have seen a flashback.
Why should anyone read something that was bad enough to cause trauma? Well, there's always a sense of morbid curiosity. But! I want this out there (to those I trust enough to let in the group) so that you can help me to realize that THIS reality is the real one... not the one in my head. I want comfort from my friends. I want discussion about how I'm looking at things, and other points of view. I have this one voice in my head that runs the PTSD, and I need counter-voices, preferably from those I love and trust.
Make sense? If so, respond to this and let me know you want in the group. FAIR WARNING: it could be graphic. It could be really harsh. I won't be pulling punches. This is therapy for me, so it will be exactly as I remember it.
ALSO: for those who get in... NO, you will not be given names. This is meant to help me get better, not seeking vengeance. If you don't get in... please don't be offended. It probably just means I'm not comfortable opening up that much to you.