Burnout. Waaah!
Running and not stopping. I ran two miles without stopping yesterday evening! It was really good. I had to keep telling myself to slow down so that I could go further and further. I like it when I listen to my own advice :-) I ran from Kentish Town South to the far side of Regent's Park along the canal (not quite as far as the Mosque). A cool-looking older guy high-fived me as I ran past. I noticed that Camden Lock Market has re-opened after the fire. I must check it out at an off-peak time, and when I'm feeling calm. Hm. After the run I felt a strong sense of achievement and internal validation. Internal validation! W00t!
Lifting and lifting more. Assisted pull-ups being... not easy when using better form. I'm getting to grips with my new programme. My current high rate of anxiety is making it very challenging to keep going to the gym, but I keep doing it. I usually tweet before and/or after the gym, I like people to know that it's difficult for me but I'm doing it. Go me!
Really burnt out, just doing the minimum of stuff and prioritising like a prioritising demon! My priorities are work, volunteering, dealing with important admin as it occurs, weight-lifting, running, eating well, socialising lightly. I'm struggling to speak, I'm so burnt out.
I want to talk about the problems I'm having coping with Bi Coffee London, but I'm so stressed about it that I can't write about it properly. There is no *drama* as such with Bi Coffee London, it's purely a social anxiety thing. Good news is the lovely pilot_moondog will run it for me this month.
Issues:
Social anxiety and performance anxiety when it comes to doing the meet and greet thing. It's getting harder, not easier as time goes on. I need to pass the baton to someone else. I am happy to run things in the background and occasionally show up.
Do people actually want it to happen? Numbers have been low the last three months. That's not actually so much of a problem as we meet in a time/place that we don't have to book due to it being the quietest day of the week for the café. However, low numbers can be self-perpetuating; people see there aren't many people there, so they may decide not to come again because of that. Also, the more people that turn up the happier whoever's running it is!
I'm thinking of running a shy social or two *outside* of BiCon as well as at BiCon. At shy socials I feel that it's acceptable for me to be noticeably nervous; I don't have to worry about social performance. I'm thinking of having it as bi and poly friendly, not exclusively or possibly even predominately bi.
Lifting and lifting more. Assisted pull-ups being... not easy when using better form. I'm getting to grips with my new programme. My current high rate of anxiety is making it very challenging to keep going to the gym, but I keep doing it. I usually tweet before and/or after the gym, I like people to know that it's difficult for me but I'm doing it. Go me!
Really burnt out, just doing the minimum of stuff and prioritising like a prioritising demon! My priorities are work, volunteering, dealing with important admin as it occurs, weight-lifting, running, eating well, socialising lightly. I'm struggling to speak, I'm so burnt out.
I want to talk about the problems I'm having coping with Bi Coffee London, but I'm so stressed about it that I can't write about it properly. There is no *drama* as such with Bi Coffee London, it's purely a social anxiety thing. Good news is the lovely pilot_moondog will run it for me this month.
Issues:
Social anxiety and performance anxiety when it comes to doing the meet and greet thing. It's getting harder, not easier as time goes on. I need to pass the baton to someone else. I am happy to run things in the background and occasionally show up.
Do people actually want it to happen? Numbers have been low the last three months. That's not actually so much of a problem as we meet in a time/place that we don't have to book due to it being the quietest day of the week for the café. However, low numbers can be self-perpetuating; people see there aren't many people there, so they may decide not to come again because of that. Also, the more people that turn up the happier whoever's running it is!
I'm thinking of running a shy social or two *outside* of BiCon as well as at BiCon. At shy socials I feel that it's acceptable for me to be noticeably nervous; I don't have to worry about social performance. I'm thinking of having it as bi and poly friendly, not exclusively or possibly even predominately bi.