Eep
In the toilets at St Pancras, crying. Walking along the street, crying. Hyperventilating as I neared home. I'm f*cking terrified about tonight.
People have said that they hope I have a good time. At the moment I can't imagine that. I can imagine having slightly less suicidal thoughts and having an adequate time, but good? My positivity has deserted me. Part of me wants to just eat and eat and eat and not see anyone.
I have new running shoes. They are black, and took ages to come because for some reason white is a more popular colour for running shoes.
People have said that they hope I have a good time. At the moment I can't imagine that. I can imagine having slightly less suicidal thoughts and having an adequate time, but good? My positivity has deserted me. Part of me wants to just eat and eat and eat and not see anyone.
I have new running shoes. They are black, and took ages to come because for some reason white is a more popular colour for running shoes.