Counselling and Javascript
For those of you unfamiliar with my experience of adoption, you can read about it here. I had a child, looked after her well for just over two years and badly for up to a year after that because I had a breakdown. She was in care for a year then I was pressured to give her up for adoption, aged four. It is a source of tremendous pain for me.
I've been having a phone dance with the Post Adoption Centre (a charity that does, amongst other things, counselling for first parents). First I called their office asking for semi-emergency counselling, then they said they'd try to get back to me. They called me when I was playing Scrabble with redcountess in an open-plan café in the shopping centre in Walthamstow and I did not want to deal with their call, so they said they'd call me back. Then I got a message on my answer service asking me to call their advice line. I called their advice line at the appropriate time and was told that their advice line was unfortunately lacking in volunteers that night and would I like to... I stuttered, floundered and hung up. Eventually they got back to me, and I was able to explain how blooming difficult things are at the moment with christmas in my face all over the place and family being rammed down my throat, and the frequent suicidal ideation that is going with that. (The crazy thing is that I'm actually happy at the moment. WTF is that about?) They said they didn't know what they could offer me because there were no counsellors in the office at the time of the call. Eventually I got another call back with an offer to see M, one of their counsellors, yesterday at one. I was most pleased.
M is very practical. She gave me some good ideas:
I'll be seeing M for a couple of further sessions this December, which is exactly what I feel that I need. Free, courtesy of Camden Council.
Yesterday was pretty hectic. It started with the counselling session, then I had a training session with Elisio, then slimming group. My brain was mush at slimming group, and [friend] really sorted me out by walking me to the tube station.
Yay, I have enabled Javascript! (And Java too.) I can easily disable them. I'm not completely useless then.
Things I am looking forward to:
Envelope stuffing with becksydee for the excellent charity Women In Secure Hospitals on Friday, date with reddragdiva on Saturday. Expensive t-shirt coming through the post in the next two weeks or so.
I've been having a phone dance with the Post Adoption Centre (a charity that does, amongst other things, counselling for first parents). First I called their office asking for semi-emergency counselling, then they said they'd try to get back to me. They called me when I was playing Scrabble with redcountess in an open-plan café in the shopping centre in Walthamstow and I did not want to deal with their call, so they said they'd call me back. Then I got a message on my answer service asking me to call their advice line. I called their advice line at the appropriate time and was told that their advice line was unfortunately lacking in volunteers that night and would I like to... I stuttered, floundered and hung up. Eventually they got back to me, and I was able to explain how blooming difficult things are at the moment with christmas in my face all over the place and family being rammed down my throat, and the frequent suicidal ideation that is going with that. (The crazy thing is that I'm actually happy at the moment. WTF is that about?) They said they didn't know what they could offer me because there were no counsellors in the office at the time of the call. Eventually I got another call back with an offer to see M, one of their counsellors, yesterday at one. I was most pleased.
M is very practical. She gave me some good ideas:
- Write letters to Alex and destroy them.
- Keep on blogging (yeah, like as if I'd stop)
- Write letters to Alex intending to keep them until she's able to access them (in addition to writing my yearly letterbox contact letter). Be as honest as I want.
- At some point, write my 'story' for Alex. Just before she was adopted, she was given the story of her life that was written by various people including her father. I can't remember if I contributed anything, but I was mad at the time.
- Look up EFT. This sounds bollocks, but quite a few counsellors seem to recommend it. I am not good at trying things that sound bollocks though - any of you got an idea?
- Write letters to my dad and destroy them.
I'll be seeing M for a couple of further sessions this December, which is exactly what I feel that I need. Free, courtesy of Camden Council.
Yesterday was pretty hectic. It started with the counselling session, then I had a training session with Elisio, then slimming group. My brain was mush at slimming group, and [friend] really sorted me out by walking me to the tube station.
Yay, I have enabled Javascript! (And Java too.) I can easily disable them. I'm not completely useless then.
Things I am looking forward to:
Envelope stuffing with becksydee for the excellent charity Women In Secure Hospitals on Friday, date with reddragdiva on Saturday. Expensive t-shirt coming through the post in the next two weeks or so.