More trangst!
Cervical Smear test woes - warning, contains deathwish - also contains lifewish ;-).
I've not had a smear test in thirteen years. Many a time have I said 'I'd rather get cervical cancer and die with pain relief than have a smear test.' I've thought of killing myself pretty much every week (more or less) since I was twelve, have attempted suicide a handful of times, and cervical cancer sounded like a nice and lazy escape. Not that it's guaranteed to happen of course. Recently I've been feeling much happier and optimistic about things (I still experience suicidal ideation quite often), and I'm feeling more eager to look after my body; part of that would involve having a smear test and having my extremely ancient copper IUD removed. The 'string' from the IUD fell off years ago, I hope that won't be too difficult to remove. Argh!
Buuuuuut I have to go have the smear test done 7-10 days after my period (I don't know if this means after it finishes or starts, and if it's after it finishes when do I count it as having finished?) This means I can't just go-and-get-it-done-without-thinking-about-it then relaxing later; I have to wait for my period to come and go, and I'll be worrying about it until then. Smear tests aren't just intrusive, they hurt me. I get period-like pain afterwards for a couple of hours. Also I'm usually pretty gender dysphoric when it comes to having my bits poked by strangers.
No wonder I've been putting this off for years. I do want to get it done though. I can haz a prize when I get fcuked by a speculum yes?
More screening of comments.
I've not had a smear test in thirteen years. Many a time have I said 'I'd rather get cervical cancer and die with pain relief than have a smear test.' I've thought of killing myself pretty much every week (more or less) since I was twelve, have attempted suicide a handful of times, and cervical cancer sounded like a nice and lazy escape. Not that it's guaranteed to happen of course. Recently I've been feeling much happier and optimistic about things (I still experience suicidal ideation quite often), and I'm feeling more eager to look after my body; part of that would involve having a smear test and having my extremely ancient copper IUD removed. The 'string' from the IUD fell off years ago, I hope that won't be too difficult to remove. Argh!
Buuuuuut I have to go have the smear test done 7-10 days after my period (I don't know if this means after it finishes or starts, and if it's after it finishes when do I count it as having finished?) This means I can't just go-and-get-it-done-without-thinking-about-it then relaxing later; I have to wait for my period to come and go, and I'll be worrying about it until then. Smear tests aren't just intrusive, they hurt me. I get period-like pain afterwards for a couple of hours. Also I'm usually pretty gender dysphoric when it comes to having my bits poked by strangers.
No wonder I've been putting this off for years. I do want to get it done though. I can haz a prize when I get fcuked by a speculum yes?
More screening of comments.