ummm...yeah...
So, wow. I....won. I'm in shock...still. 24 hours later and I'm still in shock that I'm 6th in the state in PROSE. I DID NOT expect to break in prose...I mean...there were 38 of us entered in that event. The weird thing is, I had a dream Wednesday night that I broke in prose. The only difference was I won (well, hell, it IS a dream! :-P) and I had two team mates break too. Truth be told, I would have preferred that. I'm kind of numb. I don't know. It's AMAZING, and the rush of emotion when I saw my name on the list for finals is indescribable. I think the ENTIRE team was surprised. I mean, I know my piece itself has extreme potential. But I didn't know I was that good. And now, I have to be better. 6th is PHENOMENAL. But now I have to be better. For ME. The girl that took champion is amazing...and I admire her like crazy! But I want to take this piece to nationals. And dammit I want to win. I don't know. It's funny...Chris told us last night to not think about Forensics today...to relax and whatnot and go in tomorrow ready to start working again. But that's ALL I've been thinking about today. I mean, I haven't picked up my book, but I've been thinking about all the ways I can make my pieces better and win again next time. It's becoming almost like an obsession for me. I don't know, I've never won anything before this weekend...and now I don't want to stop. For fear of disappointing myself, of course, but more for fear of disappointing my coaches and team. Now I want to break in all my events. It's an unrealistic goal, I realize, but I'm...I don't know...I'm so grateful for this win because it told me that my hard work really is paying off. I was SO frustrated after the last tournament. I got 4s on ALL my ballots and it was SO disheartening because I worked SO hard. But now I know what I have to do...
I do think Chris is a big part of my win. He knows how to encourage someone and make them feel GOOD about their piece and themselves. He did that for me with both Prose and DI and I went into that tournament feeling like I was going to kick some SERIOUS ass! And I placed. I owe my confidence to him. And now I'll go to the next tournament with the same confidence, or more, because of the win I had this weekend. Thank you Chris!
OK, I realize I'm a TOTAL nerd...but oh well. ;-) This activity is VERY quickly becoming my life...very strange...never expected that....
I do think Chris is a big part of my win. He knows how to encourage someone and make them feel GOOD about their piece and themselves. He did that for me with both Prose and DI and I went into that tournament feeling like I was going to kick some SERIOUS ass! And I placed. I owe my confidence to him. And now I'll go to the next tournament with the same confidence, or more, because of the win I had this weekend. Thank you Chris!
OK, I realize I'm a TOTAL nerd...but oh well. ;-) This activity is VERY quickly becoming my life...very strange...never expected that....