[One Shot] Maybe I'm Wrong
Title: Maybe I'm Wrong
Author: octavialao
Beta: jheili coolohoh
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Drama
Word count: 1,244
Pairing: Broken Sakumoto
Summary: Jun's had had enough but Sho still wants him.
A/N: Because jheili asked for it and I love her so much! I hope she likes it though it's not really faithful to the song but hey.. it's a songfic and I just wrote something. LOL.
B/N 1: Is there such a thing as beta notes? HAHA Anyway, I asked Octavia to write me a songfic! And here's the outcome! Thank you so much for this honey~ Love you too! -J <3
B/N 2: This is not really written for the "a kiss, and all was said. AN ARASHI FICTION QUEST." by nicefinalbeam but it fits the bill! So I guess we can count it as an entry too. -J :3
Loosely based on Atomic Tom's "Maybe I'm Wrong"
Listen to it while reading this! It's a must~ The song is like Sho's POV.
"Please.. Let me in."
It was almost a whisper, Jun noticed. So soft, too vulnerable - heart breaking. Jun closed his eyes and breathed.
"I'm not changing my mind, Sho."
There was a loud thud on the door. His eyes narrowed as the man on the other side groaned and another thud was heard. He ran to the door, hands reaching for the door knob. He almost turned it, but stopped himself at the last moment. He can’t give Sho another reason to hold on. Another hope to cling on. Instead, he leaned his head on the door; hands touching the only thing that separated him and Sho - caressing it like his touches could reach him.
He sighed. I need to go.
He got back to his bed and continued packing his clothes.
"Jun.. Please..please let me in." Sho said, his voice broken.
Jun's hand flew to his temple. He strode to the door and opened it and was welcomed by Sho's lips on his own. Sho was listening intently as he moved, probably waiting to kiss him once he opens the door, Jun thought.
The older man devoured his mouth. It was sloppy and wet. But full of remorse, pain and desperation. Jun did not reciprocate the kiss. He kept his mouth closed while struggling against Sho.
The older man was persistent. He angled his face so he could kiss Jun properly and started nipping his lower lip; licking Jun's pair to gain access. But Jun still kept them sealed. He doesn’t want to be intoxicated. ‘Cause he knew once he had a taste of Sho, he'd be a goner.
The older seemed to feel that it was no good. His lips stopped nipping, stopped moving all in all. Jun did not notice that he had closed his eyes in trying to gather all his strength to restrain himself. All he could hear and feel was Sho's ragged breathing. He wanted to open his eyes but decided otherwise.
Sho pulled his face away and Jun relaxed a bit. But then Sho smacked his lips back and this time, his tongue was able to gain access to Jun's mouth as he bit the younger’s lower lip so strongly that the latter gasped and opened his mouth.
Jun unconsciously moaned. His resolve once again melting. He tried not to return the painful kiss. He could feel his lips burn; there was a metallic taste between the exchange. And Jun realized.. it was as if Sho was pouring everything…as if- no, he knew. He knew he will never kiss him again.
Sho snaked his arms into Jun's waist and held him tightly like his life depended on it. Jun felt like drowning. He wanted to push Sho away. But he can't. His resolve was diminishing. But it’s suffocating. Painful. It’s killing him.
Finally Jun pulled away. He used every ounce of his strength to strip himself out of Sho's grip. He felt angry all of a sudden. Sho tried to grab his wrist but he swatted it.
"Stop it! Can't you understand? You always do this!" Jun glared at him but Sho just glared back. He could see anger in Sho's eyes too. He ran his fingers through his hair. He was about to open his mouth when he was cut by Sho.
"This is not my fault. Not this time." He said with clenched teeth.
Jun’s eyes narrowed. His nails digging on his palm.
"Stop blaming me for everything Jun. I'm not the one leaving."
"You-!" Jun closed his eyes. Controlled his breathing. This was why he opted to leave without Sho knowing. It's messy. Painful. But Sho was being insensitive as always. And frankly, Jun was quite full of it. He had had enough.
"You- you were never there. I was never your priority Sho. Never. You got all the time, but not enough for me. It’s like, being together, but we were never together. You come home, eat, wash yourself, sleep and you leave. You always leave. And what's the difference between me leaving and you leaving?"
"I can never do what I don't know Jun." Sho replied softly.
"That's because you refused to see! Refused to hear! Refused to feel!" Jun screamed exasperatedly.
He was mad at Sho. How could someone not know what the other was feeling when they live in the same roof. Jun was now convinced that Sho never cared.
Sho laughed. That hearty laugh Jun loved so much. Jun wondered how the older man could laugh like that despite the tears leaking from his eyes. Sho clutched his stomach and curled himself on the floor.
Jun was beyond annoyed. It was not going his way. He ignored the manic Sho and went to finish the task he doing a while ago.
Sho's laughter died slowly and was gradually replaced by painful sobs. Jun froze. The sound coming from the older man sent pangs of pain to his heart. He pushed away the pity, the concern, the urge to embrace the man and kiss him till the tears disappear.
Once done packing, Jun pulled his luggage and made his way out the door of their bedroom. I'll miss this, Jun thought.
Jun laid his right hand on the door frame and spared one last glance at Sho's pitiful, curled figure on the foot of the bed. He did not know if he should say goodbye or just leave him there. He was about to turn and finally set his foot out of the door when Sho whispered something. Jun almost missed it if only not for the empty voice.
"I- can’t know if you don't show it, if you won’t say it, if you really did feel like it."
Jun raised a brow in confusion. He was obvious enough. And Sho knew this. Jun was never the type to say anything, he’d rather show and act it. How dare Sho turn this on him?
"You’re insensitive as always Sho."
"Am I?” Sho slightly grinned. “I think the same thing goes for you too."
Jun's lips was twitching in anger. It was as if Sho was accusing him of insensitivity.
"You are the love of my life Jun. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is yours. The moment you walk out of this house, is the moment I die."
Sho chuckled a bit. He sat up and turned to Jun, meeting the younger man's eyes.
"But I was already a lost cause the moment I fell in love with you. I tried. I really tried. I want you. I just want you back. And you're right, we were never together. In the end, I was not able to make you mine."
The younger looked at him, still in confusion and as the gears in his brain worked, Jun gasped. His hands shivered. His eyes turned away from Sho.
"I just hope- I pray that he will treat you well this time. I love you Jun. Always."
Jun burst to tears when he heard what Sho said. He ran away, trudging his luggage on his heels, eyes blurry. He was panting but he continued on. And when he was far enough, he stopped. He dropped on his knees and allowed himself to cry.
After a while, he wiped his tear caked face and his phone rang.
"Jun.. "
"I'll be home in a minute. Wait for me. Satoshi."
Jun stood up, took a deep breath and walked away.
Author: octavialao
Beta: jheili coolohoh
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Drama
Word count: 1,244
Pairing: Broken Sakumoto
Summary: Jun's had had enough but Sho still wants him.
A/N: Because jheili asked for it and I love her so much! I hope she likes it though it's not really faithful to the song but hey.. it's a songfic and I just wrote something. LOL.
B/N 1: Is there such a thing as beta notes? HAHA Anyway, I asked Octavia to write me a songfic! And here's the outcome! Thank you so much for this honey~ Love you too! -J <3
B/N 2: This is not really written for the "a kiss, and all was said. AN ARASHI FICTION QUEST." by nicefinalbeam but it fits the bill! So I guess we can count it as an entry too. -J :3
Loosely based on Atomic Tom's "Maybe I'm Wrong"
Listen to it while reading this! It's a must~ The song is like Sho's POV.
Click to view"Please.. Let me in."
It was almost a whisper, Jun noticed. So soft, too vulnerable - heart breaking. Jun closed his eyes and breathed.
"I'm not changing my mind, Sho."
There was a loud thud on the door. His eyes narrowed as the man on the other side groaned and another thud was heard. He ran to the door, hands reaching for the door knob. He almost turned it, but stopped himself at the last moment. He can’t give Sho another reason to hold on. Another hope to cling on. Instead, he leaned his head on the door; hands touching the only thing that separated him and Sho - caressing it like his touches could reach him.
He sighed. I need to go.
He got back to his bed and continued packing his clothes.
"Jun.. Please..please let me in." Sho said, his voice broken.
Jun's hand flew to his temple. He strode to the door and opened it and was welcomed by Sho's lips on his own. Sho was listening intently as he moved, probably waiting to kiss him once he opens the door, Jun thought.
The older man devoured his mouth. It was sloppy and wet. But full of remorse, pain and desperation. Jun did not reciprocate the kiss. He kept his mouth closed while struggling against Sho.
The older man was persistent. He angled his face so he could kiss Jun properly and started nipping his lower lip; licking Jun's pair to gain access. But Jun still kept them sealed. He doesn’t want to be intoxicated. ‘Cause he knew once he had a taste of Sho, he'd be a goner.
The older seemed to feel that it was no good. His lips stopped nipping, stopped moving all in all. Jun did not notice that he had closed his eyes in trying to gather all his strength to restrain himself. All he could hear and feel was Sho's ragged breathing. He wanted to open his eyes but decided otherwise.
Sho pulled his face away and Jun relaxed a bit. But then Sho smacked his lips back and this time, his tongue was able to gain access to Jun's mouth as he bit the younger’s lower lip so strongly that the latter gasped and opened his mouth.
Jun unconsciously moaned. His resolve once again melting. He tried not to return the painful kiss. He could feel his lips burn; there was a metallic taste between the exchange. And Jun realized.. it was as if Sho was pouring everything…as if- no, he knew. He knew he will never kiss him again.
Sho snaked his arms into Jun's waist and held him tightly like his life depended on it. Jun felt like drowning. He wanted to push Sho away. But he can't. His resolve was diminishing. But it’s suffocating. Painful. It’s killing him.
Finally Jun pulled away. He used every ounce of his strength to strip himself out of Sho's grip. He felt angry all of a sudden. Sho tried to grab his wrist but he swatted it.
"Stop it! Can't you understand? You always do this!" Jun glared at him but Sho just glared back. He could see anger in Sho's eyes too. He ran his fingers through his hair. He was about to open his mouth when he was cut by Sho.
"This is not my fault. Not this time." He said with clenched teeth.
Jun’s eyes narrowed. His nails digging on his palm.
"Stop blaming me for everything Jun. I'm not the one leaving."
"You-!" Jun closed his eyes. Controlled his breathing. This was why he opted to leave without Sho knowing. It's messy. Painful. But Sho was being insensitive as always. And frankly, Jun was quite full of it. He had had enough.
"You- you were never there. I was never your priority Sho. Never. You got all the time, but not enough for me. It’s like, being together, but we were never together. You come home, eat, wash yourself, sleep and you leave. You always leave. And what's the difference between me leaving and you leaving?"
"I can never do what I don't know Jun." Sho replied softly.
"That's because you refused to see! Refused to hear! Refused to feel!" Jun screamed exasperatedly.
He was mad at Sho. How could someone not know what the other was feeling when they live in the same roof. Jun was now convinced that Sho never cared.
Sho laughed. That hearty laugh Jun loved so much. Jun wondered how the older man could laugh like that despite the tears leaking from his eyes. Sho clutched his stomach and curled himself on the floor.
Jun was beyond annoyed. It was not going his way. He ignored the manic Sho and went to finish the task he doing a while ago.
Sho's laughter died slowly and was gradually replaced by painful sobs. Jun froze. The sound coming from the older man sent pangs of pain to his heart. He pushed away the pity, the concern, the urge to embrace the man and kiss him till the tears disappear.
Once done packing, Jun pulled his luggage and made his way out the door of their bedroom. I'll miss this, Jun thought.
Jun laid his right hand on the door frame and spared one last glance at Sho's pitiful, curled figure on the foot of the bed. He did not know if he should say goodbye or just leave him there. He was about to turn and finally set his foot out of the door when Sho whispered something. Jun almost missed it if only not for the empty voice.
"I- can’t know if you don't show it, if you won’t say it, if you really did feel like it."
Jun raised a brow in confusion. He was obvious enough. And Sho knew this. Jun was never the type to say anything, he’d rather show and act it. How dare Sho turn this on him?
"You’re insensitive as always Sho."
"Am I?” Sho slightly grinned. “I think the same thing goes for you too."
Jun's lips was twitching in anger. It was as if Sho was accusing him of insensitivity.
"You are the love of my life Jun. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is yours. The moment you walk out of this house, is the moment I die."
Sho chuckled a bit. He sat up and turned to Jun, meeting the younger man's eyes.
"But I was already a lost cause the moment I fell in love with you. I tried. I really tried. I want you. I just want you back. And you're right, we were never together. In the end, I was not able to make you mine."
The younger looked at him, still in confusion and as the gears in his brain worked, Jun gasped. His hands shivered. His eyes turned away from Sho.
"I just hope- I pray that he will treat you well this time. I love you Jun. Always."
Jun burst to tears when he heard what Sho said. He ran away, trudging his luggage on his heels, eyes blurry. He was panting but he continued on. And when he was far enough, he stopped. He dropped on his knees and allowed himself to cry.
After a while, he wiped his tear caked face and his phone rang.
"Jun.. "
"I'll be home in a minute. Wait for me. Satoshi."
Jun stood up, took a deep breath and walked away.