September 2015 Drabbles
Rating: G-NC-17
Timeline: all over the place
Summary: 1. That One Time Stephen Got Expelled from School, 2. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”, 3. The triplets giving their sad parents cuddles, 4. "Are you ticklish?" (birth fic), 5. Does this answer your question?, 6. The Taming of the Shrew (teaser), 7. Ben and Leslie having trouble getting pregnant, 8. "I'm not leaving you" (pre-grocery store fiasco), 9. "You're so beautiful", 10. "What do you want me to say?", 11. Leslie in Ben's shirt with no pants (cookie-sex)
1. That One Time Stephen Got Expelled from School
Note: Also, I kind of borrowed a bit from an episode of Madam Secretary… ;-)
“You punched another kid?” Ben asks again, still feeling a bit incredulous, as he drives Stephen home from school at eleven in the morning.
“Yeah, but dad-”
“You broke his nose,” Ben adds, shaking his head. And although he’s upset, he’s also maybe secretly just a little bit impressed that his son can throw a punch so well.
“I didn’t mean to. It just-”
“Your mom was just elected governor a few months ago, she’s barely in office,” he tells the thirteen year-old seriously. “You can’t go around hitting people and getting suspended.”
“I know, but dad, listen. Matt is a jerk, a bully. He’s from Indianapolis and thinks he’s better than anyone else. He said since mom is from Pawnee, as governor she’s going to make everyone…fellate drinking fountains,” Stephen pauses. “I had to look fellate up on my tablet and…” he trails off, blushing slightly and looking just a bit freaked out.
Ben cringes. “Okay, that’s not even…I mean, look, um, we took…the Parks Department took all the splash guards off the drinking fountains like fifteen years ago so that doesn’t even happen anymore. If anything, your mom’s old office helped people not fellate public-”
“Oh my god, dad. Please stop saying mom and fellate in the same sentence.”
Ben stops, thankful for the request.
“And also, he said Pawnee was stupid and mom was stupid, and I just…couldn’t take it anymore. So, I accidentally punched him.”
“Stephen, I understand, I do.” Of course Ben absolutely understands. One minute you can be acting completely professional and the next, someone calls the person you love a name and then you’re holding your injured hand while cameras flash around you. “But son, you can’t just go around punching people.”
Stephen starts to say something and Ben interrupts him with, “even if they’re a jerk.”
* * *
“He’s suspended?” Leslie asks in disbelief when she gets home that night. “Stephen? Our sweet, polite kid that loves cookies, drawing, and baseball? Stephen who practically cries every time we watch a Toy Story movie? Suspended? For hitting someone?“
Ben smiles despite the severity of the situation. “Yep. I know. But it’s a private school, babe. They take this stuff seriously. And now we all have to go in tomorrow morning and meet with the principal.”
“Where is-”
“Our little slugger is cooling his jets up in his room. So, this Matt kid at school was apparently saying things about you and Pawnee and…Stephen decided to defend everyone’s honor.”
“Oh, that is…oh,” Leslie looks up towards the stairs as she starts to tear up a little. “He did that? Stephen-”
“Yes,” Ben nods. “He did that. And yes, I also know you think it’s sweet, and it is on one level, but he also broke a kid’s nose and now he’s also suspended. I also had to have a sex talk with him centered around blow jobs and drinking fountains, so let’s just appreciate the weight here, okay?”
Leslie makes a confused face. “Wait. What?”
Later that night, they did a little role-play. And Ben was the drinking fountain.
* * *
“Governor Knope,” Principal McCall greets, shaking Leslie’s hand. “And Congressman Wyatt, thank you for coming in. Stephen,” she says to the youngest member of the group with a nod.
Everyone sits down around the circular table in the principal’s office at Randall Academy. It’s about forty minutes outside of Pawnee and is also one of the best private schools in the Midwest. The last ten Indiana governors with school-age children sent their kids here and pretty much the morning after winning the election, Leslie enrolled their own.
Apparently, Ben thinks, if you are about to become a sitting governor, it’s pretty easy to get your three thirteen year-olds into a fancy private school.
“I am so sorry that this happened,” Leslie starts. “We definitely did not raise Stephen to go around punching people,” she says and then lowers her voice before adding, “even if they are acting like jerks.”
Ben sighs.
“What was that last part?” The principal asks.
“Nothing. Nothing. Principal McCall, I can assure you that Stephen knows that he shouldn’t punch someone and that he’s very sorry.”
“Are you Stephen?” The principal asks the boy. “Are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry his nose got broken. Yes.”
“Stephen,” Ben warns. He’s not quite sure what he’s going to say next but then his son starts talking.
“Dad! Matt’s a jerk! He said those things about mom and Pawnee, and he also teases this shy girl who has a lisp and this really smart kid just because he’s from India, and he’s just…a jerk. So, yeah, I’m sorry I broke his nose, I honestly did not mean to do that and I feel bad about it, but I’m not sorry I stood up for myself, and mom, and the greatest city in the world.” Stephen pauses, before for adding, “I was talking about Pawnee, there.”
Everyone is quiet until he principal says, “Well, that’s not a proper apology.”
Leslie makes a face, a very resolved, determined face that makes Ben realize what’s coming next.
“What? He apologized,” Leslie insists.
“Stephen clearly didn’t mean it,” the older woman returns. “This academy is built on integrity, honesty, and civility, and that was not a sincere apology in the least.”
“Okay, hold on. Our son is full of integrity and honesty,” Ben says, getting a little upset himself. “The only reason he punched that kid, who by the way, does sound like a major bully, is because he was following his conscience. So maybe he wasn’t as civil as he should have been, but he wanted to defend his mother and his hometown.”
“And also,” Leslie adds, standing up, “how do you know that he doesn’t mean it? Are you psychic?”
“Governor Knope,” the principal says before also standing. “I’m not psychic, but that was not sincere.
He’s not sorry he punched Matthew, he’s sorry he got suspended and is about to get expelled.”
“Expulsion? You’re going to expel my son?” Leslie asks, clearly surprised.
“If he doesn’t apologize properly and mean it, then yes.”
As the two women stare at each other, Ben tries to diffuse the situation by saying, “Alright, maybe we should all take a moment and-”
“Well…we expel you!” His wife says hotly. “Check and mate, Principal McCall.”
“Oh boy, okay. Honey, we sill have two kids who go here. Maybe you should cool it just a little?” Ben looks from his wife to his son, taking in Stephen’s wide-eyed, shocked face and appreciates the fact that at least their son doesn’t seem overly happy about the current situation.
“I believe we’re done. Governor Knope, Congressman Wyatt. Sonia and Wesley are of course welcome here and seem to be thriving, but I’m not sure this is the best fit for Stephen. Perhaps public school might be a better option?”
There’s something in her tone that bothers Ben. He frowns and stands up. “What does that mean?”
“Okay, babe. Let’s not-”
He interrupts Leslie to add, “There’s nothing wrong with public education, Principal McCall, and the Pawnee public schools have improved greatly. It’s one of the issues that I’ve worked very hard on over the last ten years and I’m proud of it.”
“Then I’m sure Stephen will excel there. But he won’t be attending Randall Academy anymore.”
* * *
“I’m uh, really sorry,” Stephen says sheepishly in the car on the way home.
“Are you?” Leslie asks, turning around in the passenger’s seat to look at their son. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
“Yeah. I am. But mom, I didn’t like it there. It was stuck up and the kids were snobby and I know Wes and Sonia like it, and that’s great, but I don’t. I want to go to Pawnee Junior High…just like you did.”
Ben glances in the rearview mirror and although he doesn’t doubt that Stephen is being sincere, he also thinks he’s working it maybe just a little bit.
He also knows that he and Leslie haven’t really had time to discuss a punishment, but Ben hopes she has his back here.
“Well, good. Because that’s what’s happening,” Ben says, turning into their driveway. “And don’t think that you’re just going to hang around the house playing online games and being lazy while we get you enrolled at Pawnee Junior High, either. You’re going to have lots to do while you’re grounded for the next two weeks.”
“Two weeks? But I thought you guys understood why-”
“Um, seriously?” Ben asks. “You punched someone, Stephen. And yes, I know he was a jerk and we do understand why you did it, but that doesn’t make it okay, and you know that. And you got expelled.”
“Well, technically, mom expelled the school,” Stephen tells them.
Leslie turns around again. “Hey, my little slugger who I love very much? You want to make it three weeks?”
“No. Sorry. Two weeks is good,” Stephen says, as Ben and Leslie share a quick smile in the front seat.
____
2. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”
“I really thought you hated me for awhile,“ Leslie says softly, and it’s only now, while her leg is draped casually over his hip, and they’re lying in his bed with no clothes between them, that she can even say it.
Now, when she absolutely knows for sure that the way he feels is the exact opposite.
“How could you think I was anything but hopelessly in love with you?” She smiles…beams, really. Leslie’s still not used to Ben saying that. Or hearing about it in the official trial transcript. Or saying it back herself, even if it was through a tired and grumpy Ethel Beavers, just a couple of hours ago. “These past few months, I thought you were hopelessly…annoyed at me, for starters.”
“Well,” Ben says, using his hand to gently readjust her leg just a bit higher up.
His fingers graze against the skin of her thigh, then move up to caress the curve of her hip, before he dips back down and between her legs, where she’s still wet from their earlier activities. “There’s no reason I couldn’t have been both.”
She gasps in mock surprise, even as she wiggles against his fingertips just a bit. “Me? Annoying? Nooooo.”
Ben laughs, nods his head, slides his hand up and rests it on the back of her thigh. “Maybe just a little bit.”
“Fine. But you were being-”
“A passive-aggressive jerk?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Instead, Leslie moves forward even closer and stretches up to kiss him.
“I would. But I was in love with you,” he says simply when she pulls back and rests her head back against the pillow. “I am in love with you. I love you. And it hurt to try and not be.”
“I love you,” Leslie says back, leaning in again to rub her nose lightly against his, just like she did earlier out in the snow. Then she whispers, “I love you so much. With all of my heart, Ben. It’s in the official transcript.”
“I know.”
He’s grinning and this time when they kiss it’s still all smiley and slow, but also with a little more heat, as she shifts on top of him easily, straddling his hips, but keeping her mouth on his. Since that night at the Smallest Park a few days ago, Leslie’s hardly wanted to have her mouth anywhere else.
And sure her campaign is a mess currently and she has no idea how she’s going to fill these next two weeks without work, but right now, right here, this moment is perfect.
So really, the answer is obvious. “We should just stay in bed like this forever.”
“Well, I did just resign in disgrace and you’ve been suspended. We certainly have some extra time to spend in bed.” Then, he pushes a few strands of hair out of her face and Leslie wonders, how could she ever have been anything but hopelessly in love with Ben?
____
3. Triplets giving their sad parents cuddles
“Mommy, don’t cry,” the little boy says, and without even waiting for a response, he crawls into her lap all warm and snuggily, right where she’s sitting on the couch. At four, their little triplets are still at the age where they think everything can be solved by hugs.
And really, Leslie thinks, they’re not that wrong. She wraps her arms around him and hugs him close.
“Oh, Stephen, thank you. It’s okay, Mommy’s just sad, but I’m much better now.”
“I’m helping?” He asks, looking up at her with big eyes.
“Yes,” Leslie agrees, leaning down to kiss the top of his adorable and messy little bed-head.
When Ben comes down the stairs a few minutes later with Sonia and Wesley holding hands in front of him, both still in their pajamas-in fact, Ben is actually still in his lazy flannel pants and a t-shirt, he smiles at her. But then he must sense something in her expression because he frowns, even as Sonia and Wesley run over and join their brother.
“What happened?”
“Oh,” Leslie sniffs. “I just got some news.”
“Babe, what?” Ben’s face shows an abundance of concern and it’s just too much for her and she bursts into tears again as the triplets cuddle closer. It was their wedding day sign and now…
“Leslie?” He asks again, moving closer.
Ben picks up Sonia so that he can sit down where she was, before putting their daughter on his lap. He runs his hand gently along Leslie’s back. “Honey, what-”
“Bucky…” she pauses, looking at the small children cuddled around her, “went to live on a farm.”
“What?”
“Bucky. From Pawnee.”
Ben makes a confused face. “Bucky. Oh, was he that guy that always tried to make you smell his elbows and owned that deep fried food kiosk at the mall? You know once, I saw him deep-fry a bacon-wrapped wedge of cheese. Chris almost had a heart attack just watching that. It was-”
“No, babe. That was Barnaby, who actually is no longer around either, but Bucky was the Li'l Sebastian impersonator. Remember?”
“Oh. What? Ohhh. Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“He was our wedding day sign, Ben. The reason we got married.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that. We got-”
“Who’s Bucky, mommy?” Sonia asks and the leans her head against Leslie’s arm.
Leslie turns to her daughter and explains, “He was the second most amazing mini-horse in the whole wide world.”
“Can we see him?” Wesley asks excitedly.
Leslie starts crying again and all three triplets move even closer and wrap their little arms around her. Even Ben continues to run his hand along her spine, as he snuggles closer with Sonia, Wes, and Stephen to form a warm, comforting group hug around her.
“Um, Bucky is retired now,” Ben tells the kids. “But he’s very happy on a special mini-horse farm and eats carrots everyday and uri..um, plays with the other ponies. Mini horses. They are all glorious mini-horses. On a special, wonderful farm. Far, far away. Too far away to ever visit.”
“We need a mini-horse!” Stephen shouts out excitedly. “He can live in our room.”
“Oh,” Leslie’s wet eyes light up and really, even though she’s incredibly sad, she can’t help messing with Ben just a little. So, she adds, “well, that’s an interesting idea-”
“No.”
____
4. "Are you ticklish?"
Honestly, Leslie’s more anxious than she thought she’d be.
Before, this moment was in the future and far away, something to look forward to and with the soft cushion of time. But right now, it’s here-all sharp and pointy as she lies in the hospital bed with her legs raised up by the adjustable mattress. Ben is sitting next to her, gently stroking his fingers through the hair by her forehead and Leslie is really feeling it.
Because seriously, she’s still feeling it.
“Ben, my legs just seem tingly, but I can still feel everything,” she tells him, her voice a bit more rushed than she means it to be. “Oh my god, it’s not work-”
“Honey, it’s okay, it’s only been a few minutes,” he answers and really, it kind of pisses her off how calm he’s being. “Nothing is going to happen until the spinal block kicks in. I promise.”
“Aren’t you nervous?” Holy crap, how can he not be nervous? Soon, they are going to wheel her into a room and cut her open, all while Ben holds onto her hand like absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary-just like it’s any other Tuesday.
Ben laughs his slightly-higher-than-normal-I’m-really-freaking-out chuckle and she immediately feels better. Then he admits, “I am completely terrified, but I’m trying to stay relaxed and supportive for you. To um, sham-wow you and make you feel better. Is it-”
She nods. “Yes. Okay, it’s working and it also helps to know it’s all an act, keep doing that, babe.”
“Leslie, it’s going to be fine. Despite being half-responsible for Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa, Dr. Saperstein seems to know what he’s doing and I’m right here and your mom’s in the waiting room with Ann, and everyone else will be by later.”
“Right,” she agrees, taking a deep breath. Dr. Saperstein does have great Yelp reviews. “It’s going to be fine.”
They’re quiet for a couple of minutes.
He’s holding her hand now as Leslie studies the details of the room-the pale green walls with decals of happy teddy bears and bright sunflowers, the fetal monitor’s rhythmic low beeping by her side. When she just concentrates on this space and on Ben beside her, it is all fine, but then she thinks about the upcoming c-section and she starts to feel anxious again.
“You know, honestly, I bet I could just push these suckers out my vagina. Hey, why don’t we give it a try before the nurse comes back to check on me? Help me fix the bed and then move down there and get ready to catch,” she tells him, as his eyes widen in surprise and Ben stands up quickly.
“Um, no. No. Please don’t try that,” Ben says and now he’s certainly starting to look a little panicked.
“Leslie, I-”
“Shhhh, relax, I was kind of joking,” she says, giving him a small smile. “I’m just nervous,” Leslie tells him. “But hey, maybe we should put this on hold and go on a cruise to Alaska? Have you ever been to Alaska? November is the perfect time of year for that and I mean, we’ve already got some packed bags and-”
Ben swoops down and kisses her before she can get any farther into her impractical travel plan spiral.
“I know you’re nervous,” Ben tells her softly after they stop kissing, his forehead touching hers. He pulls back, looking all concerned and sleepy (honestly, she thinks he probably slept less than she did last night), and when Ben starts stroking her hair again it feels so good that she maybe closes her eyes and moans a little. “But it’s going to be okay. You know, I was very nervous the day I proposed to you.”
“You were?” Leslie opens her eyes and looks at him while she remembers that day. That completely perfect moment in her life a little more than two years ago. He didn’t seem nervous-Ben had seemed emotional and happy and full of love for her and ready to start their future.
But now, Ben just nods.
“Why? You have to have known I’d say yes,” she responds, feeling her eyes start to water and suddenly it’s just them talking and she’s not nervous at all.
“I had a pretty good idea, but it was kind of…” he pauses to smirk before continuing, “a sneaky surprise to spring on you. When I got there, I saw Martha walk outside so I figured you were by yourself, but it was still a little nerve-wracking. What if you were looking at the bathroom and there wasn’t enough room to get down on one knee or something? And then, you’d have to tell people that I proposed to you in a bathroom.”
“It was the perfect proposal,” she tells him and he smiles back at her, leaning forward to give her another kiss. “It was the perfect start to our family.”
“Are you ticklish?”
Leslie makes a face at his question. “You know I am.”
“Well, I’ve been tickling around your lower stomach for the last minute or so. Can you not feel that?”
Leslie definitely couldn’t feel it and for some reason she’s incredibly surprised by this information.
“Oh fuck. Seriously? It worked. This is really happening.”
Ben laughs, more relaxed this time, and despite everything that’s about to come, Leslie feels calm and reassured in this amazing and perfect moment with Ben and their three little about-to-be-born triple cherries.
She’s ready.
____
5. Does this answer your question?
Ben walked upstairs and towards the triplets’ bedroom, hearing giggling and whispering that suspiciously stopped just as he approached the door. He had given the eight year-olds a fair but serious ultimatum-clean up their bedroom and messy closet after school or no dessert.
Pretty much the only perk of Leslie being away on an overnight trip was that he could use dessert as a bargaining chip, because when his wife was home, she vetoed any strategy that involved skipping after-dinner cookies, ice cream, cake, or cupcakes.
But with Leslie in Chicago for a meeting, their little messy monsters knew he was serious.
Around six PM, Ben pushed the just barely cracked bedroom door open the rest of the way and asked, “So, how’d we do?”
“I don’t know,” Sonia answered, trying not to giggle. She had to put her hand over her mouth to quiet herself and Ben couldn’t help but smile in response.
“Does this answer your question?” Wesley added, pulling Andy’s old marshmallow shooter from behind his back and firing a round of about ten mini-marshmallows at Ben’s stomach, as all three kids giggled and squealed with laughter.
“No,” Ben answered calmly, overcome with a troubling sense of deja vu.
And also, he still didn’t understand why a marshmallow shooter does not freak him out, but a t-shirt gun or practically anything else quickly thrown or shot at him caused him to jump out of his skin.
He knew Leslie would argue it’s the marshmallows (how could anyone be anything other than happy about marshmallows, babe?), and he grinned at the thought.
Sonia laughed again and opened the closet door wide. “Look daddy, all clean!”
And it was-the toys and games were stacked neatly and around the room, stuffed animals were on beds, with clothes folded up and put away.
“We found uncle Andy’s marshmallow shooter!” Wes told him excitedly.
“It was in the closet!” Stephen said. “It’s a good thing we cleaned!”
“We should get cookies and cake,” Sonia added, smiling widely.
“And s'mores, daddy!” said Stephen, before reaching down to pick up a marshmallow. Ben quickly walked forward and took it from him, before his son could actually eat the god-only-knows-how-old marshmallow from the floor.
“Thank you for cleaning your room and I’ll hold onto this for now,” he said, also lifting the marshmallow shooter out of Wesley’s hands. He wondered when Andy had given it to the kids. Recently?
When they were two, maybe?
Thankfully, when he took the toy away, there wasn’t much complaining. Mostly, just expectant and proud little faces, no doubt waiting to hear about their after-dinner reward.
“And dessert tonight is…cupcakes! Whaaaaaat?” Ben said enthusiastically, as all the three kids yelled and clapped around him.
Of course, he neglected to mention that the chocolate cupcakes had shredded zucchini hidden in them.
____
6. The Taming of the Shrew (Teaser)
“When you act like this, you’re like a little wasp, like a flying, bossy, annoying…blonde pain in the ass wasp,” Ben tells her heatedly.
And even though he’s only known Leslie Knope for a few hours, he definitely understands her reputation in the kingdom already and why she seems so challenging for her father to marry off before her much more agreeable sister Ann can have any suitors.
“Well, if I’m a wasp, you better beware my sting,” she returns back with a glare.
“Cool it, Leslie,” Ben says, moving closer, “or I’ll just remove your stinger.”
Leslie snorts and starts to laugh. An adorable laugh, Ben thinks, even as she tells him, “Like you could find a wasp’s stinger.”
“Oh, I think I could find a stinger,” he says as he moves even closer and practically whispers. “It’s in the tail.”
“Nope. The tongue,” she insists and if he didn’t know better, he’d say Leslie was enjoying their verbal sparring as much as he is.
He grins. “Whose tongue?”
“Yours. The way you talk to me about the kingdom and are so blasé about everything. Good day, sir,” she says, but makes no effort to walk away.
“Wait,” Ben looks puzzled for a second and then smirks at her, unable to hide his growing amusement. “You’re leaving now? With my tongue busy in your tail?”
____
7. Ben and Leslie having trouble getting pregnant
As soon as she wakes up, Leslie quietly but excitedly lifts Ben’s arm off her stomach and tip-toes into the bathroom. She’s just wearing one of his pajama tops, but that’s okay, she’s not going very far.
The good feeling she has about this morning lasts all the way until the bathroom clock confirms that it’s been three minutes since she’d peed on the stick and she eagerly looks at the test and-
Nope. Just one line. Not pregnant. Definitely not knocked up. Not eating waffles for two later in the morning.
She takes a deep breath and tosses the piece of plastic in the trash.
When Leslie quietly opens the door, Ben’s sitting up in bed, looking right at her with his messy bed head and his sleepy, concerned eyes.
“Hey.” His voice is soft and gruff and so reassuring, even though she once again feels like the bottom of her world just dropped away. Like she just got recalled or had to try and choose between staying in Pawnee or going to Chicago for her dream job. Or her best friend moved away.
“Hi. You’re up early,” Leslie answers, walking back over to the bed, all while trying not to give anything away. But really, it’s a losing battle, because she can feel the tears welling up in her eyes before she’s even halfway across the bedroom.
Ben holds the covers open for her and she slides back in next to him. Leslie manages to wrap her arms around him before she starts crying, burying her head against his chest.
She was absolutely sure this test was the one.
But now, instead of knowing that she’s pregnant and spending the day looking forward to a little boy who looks like Ben, one that they could dress in plaid onesies, or a daughter to teach about following her dreams and Galentine’s Day, she’ll probably just be cranky and crampy and tired when she gets her period later.
He just holds her while she cries for a couple of minutes, stroking her hair and telling her everything will be alright, and then Ben says, “Honey. You know, it’s only been five months, that’s-”
“That’s one-hundred and fifty-five days, Ben,” Leslie manages to get out between sobs.
“April and June only have 30 days so…” He trails off and hugs her tighter. “Sorry. I’m sorry, that doesn’t help.”
Instead of correcting her math, he kisses her forehead. “But Leslie, I promise, it’s really not that long and we’re going to keep trying. The trying is fun, right? Even when you burst into a meeting in the City Manager’s office and pull me into an empty conference room.”
Leslie sniffs. “That was fun,” she agrees, nodding slowly.
“Oh, I have something that will help. I’m going to give you a message from Ann. She said to read you this if you got discouraged,” Ben says suddenly.
“Beautiful nurse Ann Perkins? Is Ann here?” Leslie sits up and looks around the bedroom. Could she be hiding? Where is Ann?
“No, you goofball. She sent me this to use if you needed it, so that’s what I’m going to do.” Ben leans over, opens his bedside table drawer, and pulls out a folded sheet of paper.
“Dear Leslie, it’s Ann Perkins, talking to you through your sexy antelope husband, Ben,” he pauses and makes a face. “Oh, well, I guess that’s nice. Okay, um, here’s the rest. Leslie, it can take up to a year to get pregnant when you start trying, and it’s completely normal. So please don’t worry or be too sad if it doesn’t happen right away.”
Ben stops reading and looks at her. She gives him a little smile and wipes at her eyes.
“Just keep using an ovulation test and you might want to try putting your legs up on Ben’s shoulders or do it from behind when you…” he stops reading. “Okay. I think I’m just going to give you this to read yourself.”
Ben hands her the paper.
Leslie laughs and takes the note. …or do it from behind when you have sex. It’s also supposed to help when you both orgasm at the same time, so maybe use a vibrator to make sure you get there when he does. And afterwards, stay in bed for about 15 minutes without moving around too much. You can put your legs up, but the studies on that are a little inconclusive. Good luck. And remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight but I think it will happen. I love you. Please call me if you want to talk about it. And also talk to Ben, he’s probably going through some stuff too.
She looks at her husband as she folds the note back in half. Then Leslie puts it in her bedside table drawer. “Ann is very smart.”
“She is,” Ben agrees.
“But babe, what if….” Leslie trails off, afraid to even say it out loud.
“What?” Ben asks, looking at her with eyes full of concern, and of course Ann is right, Ben is a sexy antelope husband in a soft blue t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.
A sexy, caring antelope who will make an amazing and patient father.
“But what if my eggs are too old?” She asks quietly.
Ben shakes his head. “Your eggs are not too old.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe you should have had future children with Shauna Malwae-Tweep, her eggs are at least 10 years younger than mine and-”
“Okay, I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Your eggs are…full of experience and beautiful and there’s no one else in the whole world whose eggs my sperm would rather make a baby with,” he reaches out and takes her hand. “We should give this at least a few more months before we get too upset, alright?”
“Alright. I love you and you are also very smart,” Leslie says, squeezing his fingers back gently.
“I love you too. But it’s five AM, could we please go back to sleep for just a bit? Or at least cuddle with our eyes closed?”
“Maybe. But I’m smart too, right?”
Ben grins and pulls her back down and under the covers. “Yes. You, Leslie Knope, are incredibly smart.”
“And sneaky?”
“Um, no. I knew you got up to do a test about ten seconds after you left the bed,” he teases, but then turns serious as his palm stokes her bare stomach. “You know, you don’t have to hide that. Just tell me and we can do it together. I want to be there.”
“So what you’re saying is, you want to watch me pee?” She jokes.
Ben laughs and makes a semi-intrigued face, much like the one he made when they watched Councilman Dexhart explain tex-mexting on TV earlier in the year.
Okay, so he’s a sexy, perverted antelope-husband and she can’t wait to make a baby with him. Or two or three.
_____
8. I'm not leaving you
When she gets home at lunch, the first thing Leslie sees is Ben, his head resting against the back of the couch, with his eyes closed. His tie is off and he looks, well…he looks exhausted. Her poor worn-out, sexy husband and it’s still so early in the day.
“Babe?”
“Yeah,” he answers weakly.
“How is everything? Are the kids-”
“Nap. Finally.”
“Good.” She slips her shoes off and sits down next to him. With Roz out with the stomach flu, April and Andy busy working on Johnny Karate that day, and her mom on a cruise, they had to get creative with childcare. And since she had the heavier meeting load, Ben had stayed home with the kids.
“What can I do?”
“Don’t leave me.”
She smiles. “I’m not leaving you. In fact, I’m not just home for lunch, I changed my two and four PM meetings into conference calls, so I can work from home this afternoon if you want to go in.”
“You did?” Ben finally opens his eyes, looks at her, and smiles.
“Yes.”
“Oh god, you are amazing,” he responds. “But it’s been a crazy day this morning and I think we should both stick around.”
“Crazy how?”
“We went to the grocery store and Stephen got lost.”
“What? Why didn’t you call? Is he-” Before her brain can even make the jump to a million horribly scenarios, Ben interrupts her.
“No, no, he’s fine. It was only about five minutes but somehow he got inside the dairy case and while I was pushing the cart around looking for him, Sonia reached out and grabbed a bunch of blue cheese samples in the deli area, ate them, and then threw up in the car on the way home. Oh yeah, and Wesley stole a handful of candy bars, probably while I was checking out,” Ben tells her. “But not before they all sang the turtle song at the top of their lungs in aisle three.”
The turtle song was about a turtle who pooped beans and wore jeans.
“So, a special thank you for teaching them how to rhyme,” Ben adds.
“Oh no, honey,” she says, covering her mouth with her hand so Ben can’t hear her laughing. And while the turtle song is a family favorite during bath time, it’s probably not the best choice for the grocery store.
“And Shauna Malwae-Tweep was at the store too so expect a headline tomorrow like-Congressional Candidate and City Manager Can’t Manage Children, Poop Beans in Aisle Three. And then I’m pretty sure Jen is going to call and yell at me.”
“Awww, babe,” she says and then pauses, reigning in her impulse to come up with a better headline for him. “I’m sorry. Sit up.”
“Why?”
“Sit up,” Leslie says again, pushing her hand against his back. He does and Leslie settles behind him, bringing her hands up to his shoulders. She pushes her thumbs into his back, while her fingers put pressure in the front.
“Oh, that feels so good.”
“Good. I’m sorry you had a challenging morning.”
Ben sighs. “It’s okay, it was just really scary when Stephen disappeared and then I had to pull over and try to clean Sonia up. She was crying and covered in blue cheese and that was pretty awful and then Wesley showed me all the stolen candy. Just held his hand up and said, daddy look!”
“Is Sonia okay now?”
“Yeah,” Ben’s voice soften considerably. “Yeah. Apparently she felt just fine after puking blue cheese all over the back seat.”
“And still, not the worst thing that’s ever happened back there,” Leslie says, pushing her fingers along his spine.
Ben snorts. “Nope. That would be the exploding diaper fiasco of last winter.”
They both laugh.
“We should give Roz a raise,” Ben says, and then pulls her hands down from his shoulders so she can lean forward against his back. He kisses the skin on her right wrist.
Leslie rests her chin against his shoulder. “Or at least a bonus. Okay, how about this, new rule-when we go to the store, we try to do it when the other one is home, so two kids can stay home and one can go. That would probably be more manageable.”
“Good plan,” Ben agrees. “Hey, I was serious earlier-don’t ever leave me.”
“I’m never, ever going to leave you,” she assures him. “And you never leave me.”
“Not a chance,” Ben tells her. “So do you think I should I return the candy bars tomorrow? I mean, if he were a little older I would explain about stealing and have him give them back, but he’s not quite there yet, he just liked the colorful wrappers and has no concept of money.”
“What kind did he get?”
“Snickers and a couple of Toblerones.”
“Mmmmm…”
____
9. You're so beautiful
“Hey, babydoll, can you pass me my coffee?” Leslie asks casually, from her spot near the sink. She appears to just be leaning against the counter while watching him read something on his tablet.
“Wait,” Ben says, getting up from the table and then handing her the old Pawnee Goddesses mug regardless.
“But that’s my name for you.”
“I can call you babydoll too,” she insists, making a face. “Men can be babydolls. Mmmmm…Congressman Babydoll.”
Ben snorts in amusement. “Please do not make me a nameplate with that on it for my office.”
“Maybe for the bedroom office?”
He steps even closer and takes her mug back, setting it on the counter. “That would probably be alright.”
Ben wraps his arms around Leslie, pulling her hips flush against his front. He thrusts lightly into her, making her laugh. It’s a lazy Sunday and amazingly it’s quiet in the house and she looks so pretty and relaxed in a pair of jeans and an old plaid shirt.
She’s not even wearing any socks and Ben can see her cute red toenails peaking out from the bottom of her jeans when he looks down between them.
“But you’re still my babydoll,” Ben tells her. “You will always be my babydoll. You’re so beautiful.”
“You’re my babydoll, ba-“ She can’t even finish her sentence, trying to one-up him on the terms of endearment, before his lips are on hers.
Ben wonders if maybe they have time to do something inappropriate in the kitchen. He hasn’t even worked out the logistics yet when his hands start unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, before his brain can even give the official go ahead. Sometimes around Leslie, his hands have their own agenda.
It was always like this, even that first kiss in the City Manager’s office. His hands just pulled her face towards his and…here they are.
“Oh my god!”
Both Ben and Leslie turn quickly at the source of the interruption, Ben jumping back just a bit.
“Gross,” sixteen year-old Sonia insists. “Mom, dad, come on. We eat in here.”
“Um,” Ben makes a confused face. “Wait. I thought you were at Sara’s studying.” He distinctly remembers all three kids leaving after breakfast, the boys to go to the park and his daughter to study with her friend next door.
“I am, but then I came home quick to get my chem book. You didn’t even notice because you were too busy…doing that.”
“Sonia, if your dad and I weren’t gross on occasion, you wouldn’t even be here,” Leslie teases their daughter.
Ben nods in agreement.
“Fine. You had sex once,” Sonia says grudgingly. Then she covers her ears quickly and heads out the kitchen door, all while chanting, “lalalalalalala.”
“Why does everyone only think we only had sex once?” Leslie asks her husband, her jeans still unbuttoned and half-way unzipped.
Ben just shrugs and unzips her pants the rest of the way.
_____
10. What do you want me to say?
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
He can tell by the waver in her voice, that all he’d need to say would be, No, please don’t go, and Leslie would stay in a heartbeat, stop her packing, and just not go. But, Ben doesn’t want to do that (well, he does), but he knows that she has an important job and that his wife is going to have to travel every so often.
Besides, this is just an overnight trip-but it’s her first business trip since giving birth six months ago.
“We’ll be fine,” he tells her confidently, a happy but wide awake Wesley cradled in his arms, while Sonia and Stephen are down for an afternoon nap.
She stares at the both of them. “Oh, no. Nope. I was wrong. No, this is too soon. I can see if Ed can-”
“Babe. Ed would mess it up, you said that yourself last week. You need to go give the presentation.”
“Right. Right,” she nods. “It’s just overnight.”
“Twenty-seven hours,” Ben agrees, talking himself into it as much as her. “You’ll be back home with all of us tomorrow night. I can handle everything. April and Andy and your mom are all here if I need help and besides, we’ll all be fine.”
“You have enough milk? I could probably pump once more before the shuttle gets here and-”
“We have enough milk. And…we’re going to try mashed sweet potatoes tonight. Whaaaaat?” Ben makes a face and cuddles a cooing Wesley. “Sweet potatoes? No way daddy, that’s sounds delicious. And super messy!” He says in a soft, exaggerated voice that makes Wesley giggle.
“Sweet potatoes? Okay, that’s it, I’m staying. I’m not missing sweet potatoes. That’s practically the only good vegetable,” Leslie says decisively, unzipping her just finally zipped up overnight bag.
“Okay, tell you what. We’ll definitely save the sweet potatoes until you get back and we’ll do more avocado tonight. No new foods without you. I promise.”
“Ben,” she starts, eyes already tearing up, her head slowly moving side to side. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can do this,” he says, walking over to her and handing Leslie their son just as she starts to cry.
They both sit down on the bed and Ben’s arm goes around her almost immediately. “It’s going to be hard and I would be feeling the exact same way if I had to travel right now, but it’s just one night and-”
“If I got up at one in the morning I could just drive there, skip the morning sessions and just make the afternoon presentation. That’s the only really important part, I don’t know why I even decided to go to the morning events. And then I can fly home Monday night at six like planned.”
Ben frowns. “Okay, let’s ignore for a moment that you’d be driving ten hours by yourself overnight, how would you get your car home?”
“I’ll rent a car and then just leave it there! And then I’m just gone for…” she pauses to do the math in her head and then frowns as another tear runs down her cheek, “twenty hours.”
“Honey, it’ll be okay. What do you want me to say? What do you need me to say?”
Leslie leans her head against Ben’s shoulder, as Wesley rubs his little face against Leslie’s chest and closes his eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Okay. Well, I’m going to tell you that you I love you and are an amazing woman and that I know your job is super important to you and that in no way makes the babies any less important to you.”
Ben smiles as Leslie runs her palm lightly against Wesley’s back.
“And that I know this is hard and you’ll miss them while you’re in DC but, we’re going to Skype tonight during dinner and again before bed and tomorrow you’ll be busy going to sessions on land management and trail maintenance and you’ll have your planner out and you will have a wonderful time.”
“I do like jamming on my planner,” she says softly.
“I know you do,” Ben agrees, smiling. “And then tomorrow night, your mom’s going to stay with the babies and I’m going to be there at the airport to pick you up.”
“Get there early. Because if I have anything to do with it, my plane will be ahead of schedule.”
“Noted, just please try not to get arrested by an air marshal,” he says. “Or, you know, maybe you’ll be having so much fun, you’ll just call me tomorrow afternoon-no, not even call, just text and tell me that you’re going to stay an extra day.”
“Never happen,” Leslie tells him, leaning in for a kiss.
When he pulls away and opens his eyes, Ben tells her, “But say you get invited to a fancy dinner and Vice President Joe Biden will be there.”
“Mmmmmm,” Leslie says, raising an eyebrow and grinning just a bit at her husband.
_____
11. Leslie in Ben's Shirt with no pants (cookie-sex)
“What are you doing?” Ben asks and then turns his kitchen light on, illuminating both the space and his girlfriend, who’s currently rummaging around the cabinets at midnight.
She spins around. “Oh hi there.”
“Hi,” he answers, unable to keep from smiling at the sight of Leslie wearing one of his shirts and looking all tousled, like she just got out of his bed (which she did).
She’s slipped one of his shirts on a couple of times before, like if she got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night at April and Andy’s or something, but it seems so different to see her like this here-in his usually quiet DC rental, and in one of his crisp white shirts instead of a worn-in plaid one.
“You’re very low on snacks. We’ll need to do something about that.”
“Alright,” Ben agrees, laughing.
He has the whole day off tomorrow and they’re going to tour the capital’s sights properly-the Smithsonian, take a White House tour, and visit the Lincoln Memorial, in fact Leslie has a whole itinerary mapped. He’s pretty sure she even scheduled in a waffle sundae food truck break.
“I mean, where are the post-sex cookies, Ben?”
“Well,” he says, walking towards her until he’s standing so close he can reach out and tug her hips to his, his legs spread and just outside of her own, as Leslie’s hands start to wander down to grope his pajama pants-covered ass. “I did plan a little surprise for your visit.”
“You did? Besides that whole awesome sex thing earlier?”
Ben nods and leans in for a kiss that she eagerly returns.
“Huh, did you check the cookie drawer?”
Leslie’s eyes light up but then narrow at him skeptically. “The cookie drawer? Where’s the-”
“The bedside table on your side.” He watches her smile at his words.
“Seriously? You hid cookies by the bed for me?”
“That is exactly what I did. Because I am very sneak-”
“Oh my god, I love you so much!” Leslie exclaims excitedly, interrupting him before he can even get his words out.
This time when she kisses him, she pushes her body flush against his and Ben lets his hands travels from her hips to just under her ass…and fuck. She’s not wearing anything at all under his shirt. His fingers wander along the curve of her butt, he gives it a playful little pat and keeps going, down a bit between her legs until she’s squirming against him.
“Mmmmm, maybe we should go back to the bedroom and get the cookies?”
“Or maybe since you didn’t bother putting on any underwear, we should stay in here and do it on the table?” He suggests, careful not to say my table or anything that makes it sound like this DC space is anything other than temporary.
“You are a very smart person,” Leslie tells him, spinning around in his arms and pushing her back against his front.
“I have my moments.” He says it right before kissing her neck, one hand already buried between her thighs. She’s still wet from earlier and when his finger brushes against her clit, Leslie practically jumps.
Ben holds her tight and sucks on the skin of her neck, all while walking them towards the table.
He can’t quite understand how it’s possible, but he realizes that they’ve never actually done it on a table before. Probably because her kitchen table is usually covered in old magazines, ceramic knickknacks, wicker baskets, and god knows what, and his was either not at all private or the site of an Andy-induced disaster.
But this one is cleared off and clean-almost as if it’s just waiting for them to do something inappropriate on it.
“Bend over,” he whispers in her ear, hoping it sounds as sexy out loud as it does in his head. She groans in response, so he’s pretty sure he’s hit the mark on sexy. Leslie twists briefly for another kiss, all sloppy and heated, mumbling something about earning his sex cookies, and then leans forward on the table.
Ben starts with his fingers, rubbing and pushing into her, until she’s squirming back against him, and god he misses this-just touching her in person or even looking for snacks together late at night, not to mention the sight of her all bared and open in front of him, his white shirt bunched up around her waist.
“Ben,” she says his name impatiently, pushing her ass back towards him.
“Stop thinking about the cookies, babe,” he teases, tugging down his pajama pants and pushing inside her slowly, as his one arm slides around her stomach, resting between her and the table.
It’s honestly probably a good thing that he’s the one doing most of the work this time, he thinks, since once Leslie starts thinking about cookies, she’s basically useless until she eats cookies.
“I’m not thinking about…ohhhhhhhhhh.” She trails off with a moan and then starts gasping at his deep thrusts, just as his finger starts rubbing little circles around her wet clit.
“God, you’re so sexy. You’re so-”
“Mmmmm…what kind of-”
“Chocolate chip and peanut butter, you goofball. Now, fuck…” Ben trails off, speeding his movements up, hoping she’s close.
“Oh god, chocolate chip,” Leslie manages to get out right before she shudders and squeals, her mouth muffled down against her forearm as she comes.
For Ben, the month without this, without being able to be inside Leslie and having to make due with Skype makes his orgasm, when it happens quickly, even more earth-shattering.
“That was fun,” she says eventually, her head now turned to the side, blonde hair even more tousled than earlier.
Ben starts laughing, before adding, “that was a lot of fun.”
“But now…it’s cookie time.”
Timeline: all over the place
Summary: 1. That One Time Stephen Got Expelled from School, 2. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”, 3. The triplets giving their sad parents cuddles, 4. "Are you ticklish?" (birth fic), 5. Does this answer your question?, 6. The Taming of the Shrew (teaser), 7. Ben and Leslie having trouble getting pregnant, 8. "I'm not leaving you" (pre-grocery store fiasco), 9. "You're so beautiful", 10. "What do you want me to say?", 11. Leslie in Ben's shirt with no pants (cookie-sex)
1. That One Time Stephen Got Expelled from School
Note: Also, I kind of borrowed a bit from an episode of Madam Secretary… ;-)
“You punched another kid?” Ben asks again, still feeling a bit incredulous, as he drives Stephen home from school at eleven in the morning.
“Yeah, but dad-”
“You broke his nose,” Ben adds, shaking his head. And although he’s upset, he’s also maybe secretly just a little bit impressed that his son can throw a punch so well.
“I didn’t mean to. It just-”
“Your mom was just elected governor a few months ago, she’s barely in office,” he tells the thirteen year-old seriously. “You can’t go around hitting people and getting suspended.”
“I know, but dad, listen. Matt is a jerk, a bully. He’s from Indianapolis and thinks he’s better than anyone else. He said since mom is from Pawnee, as governor she’s going to make everyone…fellate drinking fountains,” Stephen pauses. “I had to look fellate up on my tablet and…” he trails off, blushing slightly and looking just a bit freaked out.
Ben cringes. “Okay, that’s not even…I mean, look, um, we took…the Parks Department took all the splash guards off the drinking fountains like fifteen years ago so that doesn’t even happen anymore. If anything, your mom’s old office helped people not fellate public-”
“Oh my god, dad. Please stop saying mom and fellate in the same sentence.”
Ben stops, thankful for the request.
“And also, he said Pawnee was stupid and mom was stupid, and I just…couldn’t take it anymore. So, I accidentally punched him.”
“Stephen, I understand, I do.” Of course Ben absolutely understands. One minute you can be acting completely professional and the next, someone calls the person you love a name and then you’re holding your injured hand while cameras flash around you. “But son, you can’t just go around punching people.”
Stephen starts to say something and Ben interrupts him with, “even if they’re a jerk.”
* * *
“He’s suspended?” Leslie asks in disbelief when she gets home that night. “Stephen? Our sweet, polite kid that loves cookies, drawing, and baseball? Stephen who practically cries every time we watch a Toy Story movie? Suspended? For hitting someone?“
Ben smiles despite the severity of the situation. “Yep. I know. But it’s a private school, babe. They take this stuff seriously. And now we all have to go in tomorrow morning and meet with the principal.”
“Where is-”
“Our little slugger is cooling his jets up in his room. So, this Matt kid at school was apparently saying things about you and Pawnee and…Stephen decided to defend everyone’s honor.”
“Oh, that is…oh,” Leslie looks up towards the stairs as she starts to tear up a little. “He did that? Stephen-”
“Yes,” Ben nods. “He did that. And yes, I also know you think it’s sweet, and it is on one level, but he also broke a kid’s nose and now he’s also suspended. I also had to have a sex talk with him centered around blow jobs and drinking fountains, so let’s just appreciate the weight here, okay?”
Leslie makes a confused face. “Wait. What?”
Later that night, they did a little role-play. And Ben was the drinking fountain.
* * *
“Governor Knope,” Principal McCall greets, shaking Leslie’s hand. “And Congressman Wyatt, thank you for coming in. Stephen,” she says to the youngest member of the group with a nod.
Everyone sits down around the circular table in the principal’s office at Randall Academy. It’s about forty minutes outside of Pawnee and is also one of the best private schools in the Midwest. The last ten Indiana governors with school-age children sent their kids here and pretty much the morning after winning the election, Leslie enrolled their own.
Apparently, Ben thinks, if you are about to become a sitting governor, it’s pretty easy to get your three thirteen year-olds into a fancy private school.
“I am so sorry that this happened,” Leslie starts. “We definitely did not raise Stephen to go around punching people,” she says and then lowers her voice before adding, “even if they are acting like jerks.”
Ben sighs.
“What was that last part?” The principal asks.
“Nothing. Nothing. Principal McCall, I can assure you that Stephen knows that he shouldn’t punch someone and that he’s very sorry.”
“Are you Stephen?” The principal asks the boy. “Are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry his nose got broken. Yes.”
“Stephen,” Ben warns. He’s not quite sure what he’s going to say next but then his son starts talking.
“Dad! Matt’s a jerk! He said those things about mom and Pawnee, and he also teases this shy girl who has a lisp and this really smart kid just because he’s from India, and he’s just…a jerk. So, yeah, I’m sorry I broke his nose, I honestly did not mean to do that and I feel bad about it, but I’m not sorry I stood up for myself, and mom, and the greatest city in the world.” Stephen pauses, before for adding, “I was talking about Pawnee, there.”
Everyone is quiet until he principal says, “Well, that’s not a proper apology.”
Leslie makes a face, a very resolved, determined face that makes Ben realize what’s coming next.
“What? He apologized,” Leslie insists.
“Stephen clearly didn’t mean it,” the older woman returns. “This academy is built on integrity, honesty, and civility, and that was not a sincere apology in the least.”
“Okay, hold on. Our son is full of integrity and honesty,” Ben says, getting a little upset himself. “The only reason he punched that kid, who by the way, does sound like a major bully, is because he was following his conscience. So maybe he wasn’t as civil as he should have been, but he wanted to defend his mother and his hometown.”
“And also,” Leslie adds, standing up, “how do you know that he doesn’t mean it? Are you psychic?”
“Governor Knope,” the principal says before also standing. “I’m not psychic, but that was not sincere.
He’s not sorry he punched Matthew, he’s sorry he got suspended and is about to get expelled.”
“Expulsion? You’re going to expel my son?” Leslie asks, clearly surprised.
“If he doesn’t apologize properly and mean it, then yes.”
As the two women stare at each other, Ben tries to diffuse the situation by saying, “Alright, maybe we should all take a moment and-”
“Well…we expel you!” His wife says hotly. “Check and mate, Principal McCall.”
“Oh boy, okay. Honey, we sill have two kids who go here. Maybe you should cool it just a little?” Ben looks from his wife to his son, taking in Stephen’s wide-eyed, shocked face and appreciates the fact that at least their son doesn’t seem overly happy about the current situation.
“I believe we’re done. Governor Knope, Congressman Wyatt. Sonia and Wesley are of course welcome here and seem to be thriving, but I’m not sure this is the best fit for Stephen. Perhaps public school might be a better option?”
There’s something in her tone that bothers Ben. He frowns and stands up. “What does that mean?”
“Okay, babe. Let’s not-”
He interrupts Leslie to add, “There’s nothing wrong with public education, Principal McCall, and the Pawnee public schools have improved greatly. It’s one of the issues that I’ve worked very hard on over the last ten years and I’m proud of it.”
“Then I’m sure Stephen will excel there. But he won’t be attending Randall Academy anymore.”
* * *
“I’m uh, really sorry,” Stephen says sheepishly in the car on the way home.
“Are you?” Leslie asks, turning around in the passenger’s seat to look at their son. “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
“Yeah. I am. But mom, I didn’t like it there. It was stuck up and the kids were snobby and I know Wes and Sonia like it, and that’s great, but I don’t. I want to go to Pawnee Junior High…just like you did.”
Ben glances in the rearview mirror and although he doesn’t doubt that Stephen is being sincere, he also thinks he’s working it maybe just a little bit.
He also knows that he and Leslie haven’t really had time to discuss a punishment, but Ben hopes she has his back here.
“Well, good. Because that’s what’s happening,” Ben says, turning into their driveway. “And don’t think that you’re just going to hang around the house playing online games and being lazy while we get you enrolled at Pawnee Junior High, either. You’re going to have lots to do while you’re grounded for the next two weeks.”
“Two weeks? But I thought you guys understood why-”
“Um, seriously?” Ben asks. “You punched someone, Stephen. And yes, I know he was a jerk and we do understand why you did it, but that doesn’t make it okay, and you know that. And you got expelled.”
“Well, technically, mom expelled the school,” Stephen tells them.
Leslie turns around again. “Hey, my little slugger who I love very much? You want to make it three weeks?”
“No. Sorry. Two weeks is good,” Stephen says, as Ben and Leslie share a quick smile in the front seat.
____
2. “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”
“I really thought you hated me for awhile,“ Leslie says softly, and it’s only now, while her leg is draped casually over his hip, and they’re lying in his bed with no clothes between them, that she can even say it.
Now, when she absolutely knows for sure that the way he feels is the exact opposite.
“How could you think I was anything but hopelessly in love with you?” She smiles…beams, really. Leslie’s still not used to Ben saying that. Or hearing about it in the official trial transcript. Or saying it back herself, even if it was through a tired and grumpy Ethel Beavers, just a couple of hours ago. “These past few months, I thought you were hopelessly…annoyed at me, for starters.”
“Well,” Ben says, using his hand to gently readjust her leg just a bit higher up.
His fingers graze against the skin of her thigh, then move up to caress the curve of her hip, before he dips back down and between her legs, where she’s still wet from their earlier activities. “There’s no reason I couldn’t have been both.”
She gasps in mock surprise, even as she wiggles against his fingertips just a bit. “Me? Annoying? Nooooo.”
Ben laughs, nods his head, slides his hand up and rests it on the back of her thigh. “Maybe just a little bit.”
“Fine. But you were being-”
“A passive-aggressive jerk?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Instead, Leslie moves forward even closer and stretches up to kiss him.
“I would. But I was in love with you,” he says simply when she pulls back and rests her head back against the pillow. “I am in love with you. I love you. And it hurt to try and not be.”
“I love you,” Leslie says back, leaning in again to rub her nose lightly against his, just like she did earlier out in the snow. Then she whispers, “I love you so much. With all of my heart, Ben. It’s in the official transcript.”
“I know.”
He’s grinning and this time when they kiss it’s still all smiley and slow, but also with a little more heat, as she shifts on top of him easily, straddling his hips, but keeping her mouth on his. Since that night at the Smallest Park a few days ago, Leslie’s hardly wanted to have her mouth anywhere else.
And sure her campaign is a mess currently and she has no idea how she’s going to fill these next two weeks without work, but right now, right here, this moment is perfect.
So really, the answer is obvious. “We should just stay in bed like this forever.”
“Well, I did just resign in disgrace and you’ve been suspended. We certainly have some extra time to spend in bed.” Then, he pushes a few strands of hair out of her face and Leslie wonders, how could she ever have been anything but hopelessly in love with Ben?
____
3. Triplets giving their sad parents cuddles
“Mommy, don’t cry,” the little boy says, and without even waiting for a response, he crawls into her lap all warm and snuggily, right where she’s sitting on the couch. At four, their little triplets are still at the age where they think everything can be solved by hugs.
And really, Leslie thinks, they’re not that wrong. She wraps her arms around him and hugs him close.
“Oh, Stephen, thank you. It’s okay, Mommy’s just sad, but I’m much better now.”
“I’m helping?” He asks, looking up at her with big eyes.
“Yes,” Leslie agrees, leaning down to kiss the top of his adorable and messy little bed-head.
When Ben comes down the stairs a few minutes later with Sonia and Wesley holding hands in front of him, both still in their pajamas-in fact, Ben is actually still in his lazy flannel pants and a t-shirt, he smiles at her. But then he must sense something in her expression because he frowns, even as Sonia and Wesley run over and join their brother.
“What happened?”
“Oh,” Leslie sniffs. “I just got some news.”
“Babe, what?” Ben’s face shows an abundance of concern and it’s just too much for her and she bursts into tears again as the triplets cuddle closer. It was their wedding day sign and now…
“Leslie?” He asks again, moving closer.
Ben picks up Sonia so that he can sit down where she was, before putting their daughter on his lap. He runs his hand gently along Leslie’s back. “Honey, what-”
“Bucky…” she pauses, looking at the small children cuddled around her, “went to live on a farm.”
“What?”
“Bucky. From Pawnee.”
Ben makes a confused face. “Bucky. Oh, was he that guy that always tried to make you smell his elbows and owned that deep fried food kiosk at the mall? You know once, I saw him deep-fry a bacon-wrapped wedge of cheese. Chris almost had a heart attack just watching that. It was-”
“No, babe. That was Barnaby, who actually is no longer around either, but Bucky was the Li'l Sebastian impersonator. Remember?”
“Oh. What? Ohhh. Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“He was our wedding day sign, Ben. The reason we got married.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that. We got-”
“Who’s Bucky, mommy?” Sonia asks and the leans her head against Leslie’s arm.
Leslie turns to her daughter and explains, “He was the second most amazing mini-horse in the whole wide world.”
“Can we see him?” Wesley asks excitedly.
Leslie starts crying again and all three triplets move even closer and wrap their little arms around her. Even Ben continues to run his hand along her spine, as he snuggles closer with Sonia, Wes, and Stephen to form a warm, comforting group hug around her.
“Um, Bucky is retired now,” Ben tells the kids. “But he’s very happy on a special mini-horse farm and eats carrots everyday and uri..um, plays with the other ponies. Mini horses. They are all glorious mini-horses. On a special, wonderful farm. Far, far away. Too far away to ever visit.”
“We need a mini-horse!” Stephen shouts out excitedly. “He can live in our room.”
“Oh,” Leslie’s wet eyes light up and really, even though she’s incredibly sad, she can’t help messing with Ben just a little. So, she adds, “well, that’s an interesting idea-”
“No.”
____
4. "Are you ticklish?"
Honestly, Leslie’s more anxious than she thought she’d be.
Before, this moment was in the future and far away, something to look forward to and with the soft cushion of time. But right now, it’s here-all sharp and pointy as she lies in the hospital bed with her legs raised up by the adjustable mattress. Ben is sitting next to her, gently stroking his fingers through the hair by her forehead and Leslie is really feeling it.
Because seriously, she’s still feeling it.
“Ben, my legs just seem tingly, but I can still feel everything,” she tells him, her voice a bit more rushed than she means it to be. “Oh my god, it’s not work-”
“Honey, it’s okay, it’s only been a few minutes,” he answers and really, it kind of pisses her off how calm he’s being. “Nothing is going to happen until the spinal block kicks in. I promise.”
“Aren’t you nervous?” Holy crap, how can he not be nervous? Soon, they are going to wheel her into a room and cut her open, all while Ben holds onto her hand like absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary-just like it’s any other Tuesday.
Ben laughs his slightly-higher-than-normal-I’m-really-freaking-out chuckle and she immediately feels better. Then he admits, “I am completely terrified, but I’m trying to stay relaxed and supportive for you. To um, sham-wow you and make you feel better. Is it-”
She nods. “Yes. Okay, it’s working and it also helps to know it’s all an act, keep doing that, babe.”
“Leslie, it’s going to be fine. Despite being half-responsible for Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa, Dr. Saperstein seems to know what he’s doing and I’m right here and your mom’s in the waiting room with Ann, and everyone else will be by later.”
“Right,” she agrees, taking a deep breath. Dr. Saperstein does have great Yelp reviews. “It’s going to be fine.”
They’re quiet for a couple of minutes.
He’s holding her hand now as Leslie studies the details of the room-the pale green walls with decals of happy teddy bears and bright sunflowers, the fetal monitor’s rhythmic low beeping by her side. When she just concentrates on this space and on Ben beside her, it is all fine, but then she thinks about the upcoming c-section and she starts to feel anxious again.
“You know, honestly, I bet I could just push these suckers out my vagina. Hey, why don’t we give it a try before the nurse comes back to check on me? Help me fix the bed and then move down there and get ready to catch,” she tells him, as his eyes widen in surprise and Ben stands up quickly.
“Um, no. No. Please don’t try that,” Ben says and now he’s certainly starting to look a little panicked.
“Leslie, I-”
“Shhhh, relax, I was kind of joking,” she says, giving him a small smile. “I’m just nervous,” Leslie tells him. “But hey, maybe we should put this on hold and go on a cruise to Alaska? Have you ever been to Alaska? November is the perfect time of year for that and I mean, we’ve already got some packed bags and-”
Ben swoops down and kisses her before she can get any farther into her impractical travel plan spiral.
“I know you’re nervous,” Ben tells her softly after they stop kissing, his forehead touching hers. He pulls back, looking all concerned and sleepy (honestly, she thinks he probably slept less than she did last night), and when Ben starts stroking her hair again it feels so good that she maybe closes her eyes and moans a little. “But it’s going to be okay. You know, I was very nervous the day I proposed to you.”
“You were?” Leslie opens her eyes and looks at him while she remembers that day. That completely perfect moment in her life a little more than two years ago. He didn’t seem nervous-Ben had seemed emotional and happy and full of love for her and ready to start their future.
But now, Ben just nods.
“Why? You have to have known I’d say yes,” she responds, feeling her eyes start to water and suddenly it’s just them talking and she’s not nervous at all.
“I had a pretty good idea, but it was kind of…” he pauses to smirk before continuing, “a sneaky surprise to spring on you. When I got there, I saw Martha walk outside so I figured you were by yourself, but it was still a little nerve-wracking. What if you were looking at the bathroom and there wasn’t enough room to get down on one knee or something? And then, you’d have to tell people that I proposed to you in a bathroom.”
“It was the perfect proposal,” she tells him and he smiles back at her, leaning forward to give her another kiss. “It was the perfect start to our family.”
“Are you ticklish?”
Leslie makes a face at his question. “You know I am.”
“Well, I’ve been tickling around your lower stomach for the last minute or so. Can you not feel that?”
Leslie definitely couldn’t feel it and for some reason she’s incredibly surprised by this information.
“Oh fuck. Seriously? It worked. This is really happening.”
Ben laughs, more relaxed this time, and despite everything that’s about to come, Leslie feels calm and reassured in this amazing and perfect moment with Ben and their three little about-to-be-born triple cherries.
She’s ready.
____
5. Does this answer your question?
Ben walked upstairs and towards the triplets’ bedroom, hearing giggling and whispering that suspiciously stopped just as he approached the door. He had given the eight year-olds a fair but serious ultimatum-clean up their bedroom and messy closet after school or no dessert.
Pretty much the only perk of Leslie being away on an overnight trip was that he could use dessert as a bargaining chip, because when his wife was home, she vetoed any strategy that involved skipping after-dinner cookies, ice cream, cake, or cupcakes.
But with Leslie in Chicago for a meeting, their little messy monsters knew he was serious.
Around six PM, Ben pushed the just barely cracked bedroom door open the rest of the way and asked, “So, how’d we do?”
“I don’t know,” Sonia answered, trying not to giggle. She had to put her hand over her mouth to quiet herself and Ben couldn’t help but smile in response.
“Does this answer your question?” Wesley added, pulling Andy’s old marshmallow shooter from behind his back and firing a round of about ten mini-marshmallows at Ben’s stomach, as all three kids giggled and squealed with laughter.
“No,” Ben answered calmly, overcome with a troubling sense of deja vu.
And also, he still didn’t understand why a marshmallow shooter does not freak him out, but a t-shirt gun or practically anything else quickly thrown or shot at him caused him to jump out of his skin.
He knew Leslie would argue it’s the marshmallows (how could anyone be anything other than happy about marshmallows, babe?), and he grinned at the thought.
Sonia laughed again and opened the closet door wide. “Look daddy, all clean!”
And it was-the toys and games were stacked neatly and around the room, stuffed animals were on beds, with clothes folded up and put away.
“We found uncle Andy’s marshmallow shooter!” Wes told him excitedly.
“It was in the closet!” Stephen said. “It’s a good thing we cleaned!”
“We should get cookies and cake,” Sonia added, smiling widely.
“And s'mores, daddy!” said Stephen, before reaching down to pick up a marshmallow. Ben quickly walked forward and took it from him, before his son could actually eat the god-only-knows-how-old marshmallow from the floor.
“Thank you for cleaning your room and I’ll hold onto this for now,” he said, also lifting the marshmallow shooter out of Wesley’s hands. He wondered when Andy had given it to the kids. Recently?
When they were two, maybe?
Thankfully, when he took the toy away, there wasn’t much complaining. Mostly, just expectant and proud little faces, no doubt waiting to hear about their after-dinner reward.
“And dessert tonight is…cupcakes! Whaaaaaat?” Ben said enthusiastically, as all the three kids yelled and clapped around him.
Of course, he neglected to mention that the chocolate cupcakes had shredded zucchini hidden in them.
____
6. The Taming of the Shrew (Teaser)
“When you act like this, you’re like a little wasp, like a flying, bossy, annoying…blonde pain in the ass wasp,” Ben tells her heatedly.
And even though he’s only known Leslie Knope for a few hours, he definitely understands her reputation in the kingdom already and why she seems so challenging for her father to marry off before her much more agreeable sister Ann can have any suitors.
“Well, if I’m a wasp, you better beware my sting,” she returns back with a glare.
“Cool it, Leslie,” Ben says, moving closer, “or I’ll just remove your stinger.”
Leslie snorts and starts to laugh. An adorable laugh, Ben thinks, even as she tells him, “Like you could find a wasp’s stinger.”
“Oh, I think I could find a stinger,” he says as he moves even closer and practically whispers. “It’s in the tail.”
“Nope. The tongue,” she insists and if he didn’t know better, he’d say Leslie was enjoying their verbal sparring as much as he is.
He grins. “Whose tongue?”
“Yours. The way you talk to me about the kingdom and are so blasé about everything. Good day, sir,” she says, but makes no effort to walk away.
“Wait,” Ben looks puzzled for a second and then smirks at her, unable to hide his growing amusement. “You’re leaving now? With my tongue busy in your tail?”
____
7. Ben and Leslie having trouble getting pregnant
As soon as she wakes up, Leslie quietly but excitedly lifts Ben’s arm off her stomach and tip-toes into the bathroom. She’s just wearing one of his pajama tops, but that’s okay, she’s not going very far.
The good feeling she has about this morning lasts all the way until the bathroom clock confirms that it’s been three minutes since she’d peed on the stick and she eagerly looks at the test and-
Nope. Just one line. Not pregnant. Definitely not knocked up. Not eating waffles for two later in the morning.
She takes a deep breath and tosses the piece of plastic in the trash.
When Leslie quietly opens the door, Ben’s sitting up in bed, looking right at her with his messy bed head and his sleepy, concerned eyes.
“Hey.” His voice is soft and gruff and so reassuring, even though she once again feels like the bottom of her world just dropped away. Like she just got recalled or had to try and choose between staying in Pawnee or going to Chicago for her dream job. Or her best friend moved away.
“Hi. You’re up early,” Leslie answers, walking back over to the bed, all while trying not to give anything away. But really, it’s a losing battle, because she can feel the tears welling up in her eyes before she’s even halfway across the bedroom.
Ben holds the covers open for her and she slides back in next to him. Leslie manages to wrap her arms around him before she starts crying, burying her head against his chest.
She was absolutely sure this test was the one.
But now, instead of knowing that she’s pregnant and spending the day looking forward to a little boy who looks like Ben, one that they could dress in plaid onesies, or a daughter to teach about following her dreams and Galentine’s Day, she’ll probably just be cranky and crampy and tired when she gets her period later.
He just holds her while she cries for a couple of minutes, stroking her hair and telling her everything will be alright, and then Ben says, “Honey. You know, it’s only been five months, that’s-”
“That’s one-hundred and fifty-five days, Ben,” Leslie manages to get out between sobs.
“April and June only have 30 days so…” He trails off and hugs her tighter. “Sorry. I’m sorry, that doesn’t help.”
Instead of correcting her math, he kisses her forehead. “But Leslie, I promise, it’s really not that long and we’re going to keep trying. The trying is fun, right? Even when you burst into a meeting in the City Manager’s office and pull me into an empty conference room.”
Leslie sniffs. “That was fun,” she agrees, nodding slowly.
“Oh, I have something that will help. I’m going to give you a message from Ann. She said to read you this if you got discouraged,” Ben says suddenly.
“Beautiful nurse Ann Perkins? Is Ann here?” Leslie sits up and looks around the bedroom. Could she be hiding? Where is Ann?
“No, you goofball. She sent me this to use if you needed it, so that’s what I’m going to do.” Ben leans over, opens his bedside table drawer, and pulls out a folded sheet of paper.
“Dear Leslie, it’s Ann Perkins, talking to you through your sexy antelope husband, Ben,” he pauses and makes a face. “Oh, well, I guess that’s nice. Okay, um, here’s the rest. Leslie, it can take up to a year to get pregnant when you start trying, and it’s completely normal. So please don’t worry or be too sad if it doesn’t happen right away.”
Ben stops reading and looks at her. She gives him a little smile and wipes at her eyes.
“Just keep using an ovulation test and you might want to try putting your legs up on Ben’s shoulders or do it from behind when you…” he stops reading. “Okay. I think I’m just going to give you this to read yourself.”
Ben hands her the paper.
Leslie laughs and takes the note. …or do it from behind when you have sex. It’s also supposed to help when you both orgasm at the same time, so maybe use a vibrator to make sure you get there when he does. And afterwards, stay in bed for about 15 minutes without moving around too much. You can put your legs up, but the studies on that are a little inconclusive. Good luck. And remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight but I think it will happen. I love you. Please call me if you want to talk about it. And also talk to Ben, he’s probably going through some stuff too.
She looks at her husband as she folds the note back in half. Then Leslie puts it in her bedside table drawer. “Ann is very smart.”
“She is,” Ben agrees.
“But babe, what if….” Leslie trails off, afraid to even say it out loud.
“What?” Ben asks, looking at her with eyes full of concern, and of course Ann is right, Ben is a sexy antelope husband in a soft blue t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.
A sexy, caring antelope who will make an amazing and patient father.
“But what if my eggs are too old?” She asks quietly.
Ben shakes his head. “Your eggs are not too old.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe you should have had future children with Shauna Malwae-Tweep, her eggs are at least 10 years younger than mine and-”
“Okay, I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Your eggs are…full of experience and beautiful and there’s no one else in the whole world whose eggs my sperm would rather make a baby with,” he reaches out and takes her hand. “We should give this at least a few more months before we get too upset, alright?”
“Alright. I love you and you are also very smart,” Leslie says, squeezing his fingers back gently.
“I love you too. But it’s five AM, could we please go back to sleep for just a bit? Or at least cuddle with our eyes closed?”
“Maybe. But I’m smart too, right?”
Ben grins and pulls her back down and under the covers. “Yes. You, Leslie Knope, are incredibly smart.”
“And sneaky?”
“Um, no. I knew you got up to do a test about ten seconds after you left the bed,” he teases, but then turns serious as his palm stokes her bare stomach. “You know, you don’t have to hide that. Just tell me and we can do it together. I want to be there.”
“So what you’re saying is, you want to watch me pee?” She jokes.
Ben laughs and makes a semi-intrigued face, much like the one he made when they watched Councilman Dexhart explain tex-mexting on TV earlier in the year.
Okay, so he’s a sexy, perverted antelope-husband and she can’t wait to make a baby with him. Or two or three.
_____
8. I'm not leaving you
When she gets home at lunch, the first thing Leslie sees is Ben, his head resting against the back of the couch, with his eyes closed. His tie is off and he looks, well…he looks exhausted. Her poor worn-out, sexy husband and it’s still so early in the day.
“Babe?”
“Yeah,” he answers weakly.
“How is everything? Are the kids-”
“Nap. Finally.”
“Good.” She slips her shoes off and sits down next to him. With Roz out with the stomach flu, April and Andy busy working on Johnny Karate that day, and her mom on a cruise, they had to get creative with childcare. And since she had the heavier meeting load, Ben had stayed home with the kids.
“What can I do?”
“Don’t leave me.”
She smiles. “I’m not leaving you. In fact, I’m not just home for lunch, I changed my two and four PM meetings into conference calls, so I can work from home this afternoon if you want to go in.”
“You did?” Ben finally opens his eyes, looks at her, and smiles.
“Yes.”
“Oh god, you are amazing,” he responds. “But it’s been a crazy day this morning and I think we should both stick around.”
“Crazy how?”
“We went to the grocery store and Stephen got lost.”
“What? Why didn’t you call? Is he-” Before her brain can even make the jump to a million horribly scenarios, Ben interrupts her.
“No, no, he’s fine. It was only about five minutes but somehow he got inside the dairy case and while I was pushing the cart around looking for him, Sonia reached out and grabbed a bunch of blue cheese samples in the deli area, ate them, and then threw up in the car on the way home. Oh yeah, and Wesley stole a handful of candy bars, probably while I was checking out,” Ben tells her. “But not before they all sang the turtle song at the top of their lungs in aisle three.”
The turtle song was about a turtle who pooped beans and wore jeans.
“So, a special thank you for teaching them how to rhyme,” Ben adds.
“Oh no, honey,” she says, covering her mouth with her hand so Ben can’t hear her laughing. And while the turtle song is a family favorite during bath time, it’s probably not the best choice for the grocery store.
“And Shauna Malwae-Tweep was at the store too so expect a headline tomorrow like-Congressional Candidate and City Manager Can’t Manage Children, Poop Beans in Aisle Three. And then I’m pretty sure Jen is going to call and yell at me.”
“Awww, babe,” she says and then pauses, reigning in her impulse to come up with a better headline for him. “I’m sorry. Sit up.”
“Why?”
“Sit up,” Leslie says again, pushing her hand against his back. He does and Leslie settles behind him, bringing her hands up to his shoulders. She pushes her thumbs into his back, while her fingers put pressure in the front.
“Oh, that feels so good.”
“Good. I’m sorry you had a challenging morning.”
Ben sighs. “It’s okay, it was just really scary when Stephen disappeared and then I had to pull over and try to clean Sonia up. She was crying and covered in blue cheese and that was pretty awful and then Wesley showed me all the stolen candy. Just held his hand up and said, daddy look!”
“Is Sonia okay now?”
“Yeah,” Ben’s voice soften considerably. “Yeah. Apparently she felt just fine after puking blue cheese all over the back seat.”
“And still, not the worst thing that’s ever happened back there,” Leslie says, pushing her fingers along his spine.
Ben snorts. “Nope. That would be the exploding diaper fiasco of last winter.”
They both laugh.
“We should give Roz a raise,” Ben says, and then pulls her hands down from his shoulders so she can lean forward against his back. He kisses the skin on her right wrist.
Leslie rests her chin against his shoulder. “Or at least a bonus. Okay, how about this, new rule-when we go to the store, we try to do it when the other one is home, so two kids can stay home and one can go. That would probably be more manageable.”
“Good plan,” Ben agrees. “Hey, I was serious earlier-don’t ever leave me.”
“I’m never, ever going to leave you,” she assures him. “And you never leave me.”
“Not a chance,” Ben tells her. “So do you think I should I return the candy bars tomorrow? I mean, if he were a little older I would explain about stealing and have him give them back, but he’s not quite there yet, he just liked the colorful wrappers and has no concept of money.”
“What kind did he get?”
“Snickers and a couple of Toblerones.”
“Mmmmm…”
____
9. You're so beautiful
“Hey, babydoll, can you pass me my coffee?” Leslie asks casually, from her spot near the sink. She appears to just be leaning against the counter while watching him read something on his tablet.
“Wait,” Ben says, getting up from the table and then handing her the old Pawnee Goddesses mug regardless.
“But that’s my name for you.”
“I can call you babydoll too,” she insists, making a face. “Men can be babydolls. Mmmmm…Congressman Babydoll.”
Ben snorts in amusement. “Please do not make me a nameplate with that on it for my office.”
“Maybe for the bedroom office?”
He steps even closer and takes her mug back, setting it on the counter. “That would probably be alright.”
Ben wraps his arms around Leslie, pulling her hips flush against his front. He thrusts lightly into her, making her laugh. It’s a lazy Sunday and amazingly it’s quiet in the house and she looks so pretty and relaxed in a pair of jeans and an old plaid shirt.
She’s not even wearing any socks and Ben can see her cute red toenails peaking out from the bottom of her jeans when he looks down between them.
“But you’re still my babydoll,” Ben tells her. “You will always be my babydoll. You’re so beautiful.”
“You’re my babydoll, ba-“ She can’t even finish her sentence, trying to one-up him on the terms of endearment, before his lips are on hers.
Ben wonders if maybe they have time to do something inappropriate in the kitchen. He hasn’t even worked out the logistics yet when his hands start unbuttoning and unzipping her jeans, before his brain can even give the official go ahead. Sometimes around Leslie, his hands have their own agenda.
It was always like this, even that first kiss in the City Manager’s office. His hands just pulled her face towards his and…here they are.
“Oh my god!”
Both Ben and Leslie turn quickly at the source of the interruption, Ben jumping back just a bit.
“Gross,” sixteen year-old Sonia insists. “Mom, dad, come on. We eat in here.”
“Um,” Ben makes a confused face. “Wait. I thought you were at Sara’s studying.” He distinctly remembers all three kids leaving after breakfast, the boys to go to the park and his daughter to study with her friend next door.
“I am, but then I came home quick to get my chem book. You didn’t even notice because you were too busy…doing that.”
“Sonia, if your dad and I weren’t gross on occasion, you wouldn’t even be here,” Leslie teases their daughter.
Ben nods in agreement.
“Fine. You had sex once,” Sonia says grudgingly. Then she covers her ears quickly and heads out the kitchen door, all while chanting, “lalalalalalala.”
“Why does everyone only think we only had sex once?” Leslie asks her husband, her jeans still unbuttoned and half-way unzipped.
Ben just shrugs and unzips her pants the rest of the way.
_____
10. What do you want me to say?
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
He can tell by the waver in her voice, that all he’d need to say would be, No, please don’t go, and Leslie would stay in a heartbeat, stop her packing, and just not go. But, Ben doesn’t want to do that (well, he does), but he knows that she has an important job and that his wife is going to have to travel every so often.
Besides, this is just an overnight trip-but it’s her first business trip since giving birth six months ago.
“We’ll be fine,” he tells her confidently, a happy but wide awake Wesley cradled in his arms, while Sonia and Stephen are down for an afternoon nap.
She stares at the both of them. “Oh, no. Nope. I was wrong. No, this is too soon. I can see if Ed can-”
“Babe. Ed would mess it up, you said that yourself last week. You need to go give the presentation.”
“Right. Right,” she nods. “It’s just overnight.”
“Twenty-seven hours,” Ben agrees, talking himself into it as much as her. “You’ll be back home with all of us tomorrow night. I can handle everything. April and Andy and your mom are all here if I need help and besides, we’ll all be fine.”
“You have enough milk? I could probably pump once more before the shuttle gets here and-”
“We have enough milk. And…we’re going to try mashed sweet potatoes tonight. Whaaaaat?” Ben makes a face and cuddles a cooing Wesley. “Sweet potatoes? No way daddy, that’s sounds delicious. And super messy!” He says in a soft, exaggerated voice that makes Wesley giggle.
“Sweet potatoes? Okay, that’s it, I’m staying. I’m not missing sweet potatoes. That’s practically the only good vegetable,” Leslie says decisively, unzipping her just finally zipped up overnight bag.
“Okay, tell you what. We’ll definitely save the sweet potatoes until you get back and we’ll do more avocado tonight. No new foods without you. I promise.”
“Ben,” she starts, eyes already tearing up, her head slowly moving side to side. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You can do this,” he says, walking over to her and handing Leslie their son just as she starts to cry.
They both sit down on the bed and Ben’s arm goes around her almost immediately. “It’s going to be hard and I would be feeling the exact same way if I had to travel right now, but it’s just one night and-”
“If I got up at one in the morning I could just drive there, skip the morning sessions and just make the afternoon presentation. That’s the only really important part, I don’t know why I even decided to go to the morning events. And then I can fly home Monday night at six like planned.”
Ben frowns. “Okay, let’s ignore for a moment that you’d be driving ten hours by yourself overnight, how would you get your car home?”
“I’ll rent a car and then just leave it there! And then I’m just gone for…” she pauses to do the math in her head and then frowns as another tear runs down her cheek, “twenty hours.”
“Honey, it’ll be okay. What do you want me to say? What do you need me to say?”
Leslie leans her head against Ben’s shoulder, as Wesley rubs his little face against Leslie’s chest and closes his eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Okay. Well, I’m going to tell you that you I love you and are an amazing woman and that I know your job is super important to you and that in no way makes the babies any less important to you.”
Ben smiles as Leslie runs her palm lightly against Wesley’s back.
“And that I know this is hard and you’ll miss them while you’re in DC but, we’re going to Skype tonight during dinner and again before bed and tomorrow you’ll be busy going to sessions on land management and trail maintenance and you’ll have your planner out and you will have a wonderful time.”
“I do like jamming on my planner,” she says softly.
“I know you do,” Ben agrees, smiling. “And then tomorrow night, your mom’s going to stay with the babies and I’m going to be there at the airport to pick you up.”
“Get there early. Because if I have anything to do with it, my plane will be ahead of schedule.”
“Noted, just please try not to get arrested by an air marshal,” he says. “Or, you know, maybe you’ll be having so much fun, you’ll just call me tomorrow afternoon-no, not even call, just text and tell me that you’re going to stay an extra day.”
“Never happen,” Leslie tells him, leaning in for a kiss.
When he pulls away and opens his eyes, Ben tells her, “But say you get invited to a fancy dinner and Vice President Joe Biden will be there.”
“Mmmmmm,” Leslie says, raising an eyebrow and grinning just a bit at her husband.
_____
11. Leslie in Ben's Shirt with no pants (cookie-sex)
“What are you doing?” Ben asks and then turns his kitchen light on, illuminating both the space and his girlfriend, who’s currently rummaging around the cabinets at midnight.
She spins around. “Oh hi there.”
“Hi,” he answers, unable to keep from smiling at the sight of Leslie wearing one of his shirts and looking all tousled, like she just got out of his bed (which she did).
She’s slipped one of his shirts on a couple of times before, like if she got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night at April and Andy’s or something, but it seems so different to see her like this here-in his usually quiet DC rental, and in one of his crisp white shirts instead of a worn-in plaid one.
“You’re very low on snacks. We’ll need to do something about that.”
“Alright,” Ben agrees, laughing.
He has the whole day off tomorrow and they’re going to tour the capital’s sights properly-the Smithsonian, take a White House tour, and visit the Lincoln Memorial, in fact Leslie has a whole itinerary mapped. He’s pretty sure she even scheduled in a waffle sundae food truck break.
“I mean, where are the post-sex cookies, Ben?”
“Well,” he says, walking towards her until he’s standing so close he can reach out and tug her hips to his, his legs spread and just outside of her own, as Leslie’s hands start to wander down to grope his pajama pants-covered ass. “I did plan a little surprise for your visit.”
“You did? Besides that whole awesome sex thing earlier?”
Ben nods and leans in for a kiss that she eagerly returns.
“Huh, did you check the cookie drawer?”
Leslie’s eyes light up but then narrow at him skeptically. “The cookie drawer? Where’s the-”
“The bedside table on your side.” He watches her smile at his words.
“Seriously? You hid cookies by the bed for me?”
“That is exactly what I did. Because I am very sneak-”
“Oh my god, I love you so much!” Leslie exclaims excitedly, interrupting him before he can even get his words out.
This time when she kisses him, she pushes her body flush against his and Ben lets his hands travels from her hips to just under her ass…and fuck. She’s not wearing anything at all under his shirt. His fingers wander along the curve of her butt, he gives it a playful little pat and keeps going, down a bit between her legs until she’s squirming against him.
“Mmmmm, maybe we should go back to the bedroom and get the cookies?”
“Or maybe since you didn’t bother putting on any underwear, we should stay in here and do it on the table?” He suggests, careful not to say my table or anything that makes it sound like this DC space is anything other than temporary.
“You are a very smart person,” Leslie tells him, spinning around in his arms and pushing her back against his front.
“I have my moments.” He says it right before kissing her neck, one hand already buried between her thighs. She’s still wet from earlier and when his finger brushes against her clit, Leslie practically jumps.
Ben holds her tight and sucks on the skin of her neck, all while walking them towards the table.
He can’t quite understand how it’s possible, but he realizes that they’ve never actually done it on a table before. Probably because her kitchen table is usually covered in old magazines, ceramic knickknacks, wicker baskets, and god knows what, and his was either not at all private or the site of an Andy-induced disaster.
But this one is cleared off and clean-almost as if it’s just waiting for them to do something inappropriate on it.
“Bend over,” he whispers in her ear, hoping it sounds as sexy out loud as it does in his head. She groans in response, so he’s pretty sure he’s hit the mark on sexy. Leslie twists briefly for another kiss, all sloppy and heated, mumbling something about earning his sex cookies, and then leans forward on the table.
Ben starts with his fingers, rubbing and pushing into her, until she’s squirming back against him, and god he misses this-just touching her in person or even looking for snacks together late at night, not to mention the sight of her all bared and open in front of him, his white shirt bunched up around her waist.
“Ben,” she says his name impatiently, pushing her ass back towards him.
“Stop thinking about the cookies, babe,” he teases, tugging down his pajama pants and pushing inside her slowly, as his one arm slides around her stomach, resting between her and the table.
It’s honestly probably a good thing that he’s the one doing most of the work this time, he thinks, since once Leslie starts thinking about cookies, she’s basically useless until she eats cookies.
“I’m not thinking about…ohhhhhhhhhh.” She trails off with a moan and then starts gasping at his deep thrusts, just as his finger starts rubbing little circles around her wet clit.
“God, you’re so sexy. You’re so-”
“Mmmmm…what kind of-”
“Chocolate chip and peanut butter, you goofball. Now, fuck…” Ben trails off, speeding his movements up, hoping she’s close.
“Oh god, chocolate chip,” Leslie manages to get out right before she shudders and squeals, her mouth muffled down against her forearm as she comes.
For Ben, the month without this, without being able to be inside Leslie and having to make due with Skype makes his orgasm, when it happens quickly, even more earth-shattering.
“That was fun,” she says eventually, her head now turned to the side, blonde hair even more tousled than earlier.
Ben starts laughing, before adding, “that was a lot of fun.”
“But now…it’s cookie time.”