January 2015 Drabbles
Rating: G - PG
Timeline: All over the place
Summary: 1. Ron makes a present for the triplets, 2. It was a bad idea to bring her here (two versions), 3. New Triplet Names, 4. Taking the babies to work, 5. Sonia and her stuffed animals, 6. Unleash hell, 7. Pawnee 2017 (grocery shopping), 8. Mishap during sex (too many vegetables)
Notes: Somehow, I think I missed these ones earlier! They are here now!
1. Ron Gives the Triplets a Present
When Ben looks up from his desk around noon, the last person he expects to see in City Hall is standing right there. And while Ben is not as upset as a particular person (one that he just happens to be married to), it’s still a surprise to see Ron. Especially since he no longer even works here.
“Hello Ben,” Ron says, walking into the City Manager’s office.
“Ron, hi. Uh-”
“I won’t take up much of your time. I just wanted to drop something off for the triplets.” As he speaks, he walks closer and puts a plain, small cardboard box on Ben’s desk.
When Ben peeks inside, he sees a collection of handmade wooden alphabet blocks. They’re beautiful, like pretty much everything Ron’s ever made in his workshop. Just like the gorgeous triple-crib that currently sits down in his and Leslie’s basement-the triplets now, just since last month, in their brand-new toddler beds.
“They’re solid cherry wood, sanded, two-inch blocks with the letters burned in on all sides. With a natural beeswax finish.”
“Ron, I don’t even…wow. These are so nice.”
“There are twenty-six letters. That should be enough for all three to share. You can use your discretion on whether you want to tell Leslie they’re from me or not.”
Ben sighs. “This is ridiculous. I know you two are still fighting over the Morning Star thing, but, look, we’re having a small party for the triplets’ second birthday Saturday. Why don’t you and Diane-”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.”
“Yeah, probably not.” Ben makes a face. “This is such a beautiful gift, Ron. Thank you. The kids will love them.”
“I’m sure they will be spelling words like free and tax in no time,” his visitor comments, making Ben smile.
“I think we’ll probably start with cat or dog,” Ben tells him.
There are a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, before Ron says, “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.” Ben watches the other man walk away and still can’t believe that he now hardly ever sees someone that was such a large part of his first five years in Pawnee-such a large part of Leslie’s life for even longer.
It’s just so…wrong.
“Ron, thank you again. Really this is so thoughtful and, I just…I mean-”
“It’s fine Ben. I hope the kids enjoy the blocks. You and Leslie have wonderful children.” And with that, Ron continues out of his office, and into the hallway.
____
2. Two Versions of It was a bad idea to bring her here
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
But really, is it Ben’s fault that the toy store (the exact one where he had Leslie’s Li’l Sebastian and Yachter Otter made) is right across the street from the pediatrician’s office and that he just spent the last 10 minutes holding and comforting his three-year old daughter while she screamed and cried after getting a shot?
Now he thinks he knows why Leslie said she had a meeting and couldn’t take her to the doctor to check out a persistent cough-where as Ben only wanted to punch the nurse who had administered the injection, he’s pretty sure his wife would have tackled her and just taken her out after making their daughter cry-this nurse was, after all, no Ann Perkins.
“You can have one stuffed animal,” he gently tells the sniffling little girl in his arms, then adds, “and if you want, you can help me pick one out for each of your brothers.”
“Mommy likes stuffed animals,” his daughter tells him, blinking at Ben with big, watery eyes.
“We’ll pick one out for mommy then, too,” he agrees, kissing the little forehead and then putting her down next to a shelf of plush bears, hippos, dolphins, and zebras.
____
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
He should have just gone by himself this weekend like he was planning to…but then they had walked right by National Air and Space Museum after a working lunch away from the campaign office and Ben figured, what could it hurt to just poke inside the basement gift shop and take a quick look.
“Oh my god,” April’s voice came from behind him again. “This is what you wanted to see? I’m surprised you didn’t wear a costume. Wait…do you have a costume?”
“April, this is an important piece of cultural history-”
“It’s the stupid spaceship from that stupid show you like…Star Wars.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “Star Trek. I don’t even-”
A man interrupts him. “My daughter doesn’t understand the importance of the Enterprise studio model being part of the Smithsonian’s collection either.”
Ben turns towards this new voice and sees a man dressed as a Klingon, standing to his left. Oh good lord, he thinks, this is not helping.
"Oh my god,” he hears April exclaim a third time, and he doesn’t even need to turn and look at her to know she’s making a face like she’s trying not to laugh and can’t believe her good luck at witnessing this incredibly nerdy, dorky moment. “Yeah, dad. I don’t get it. Maybe if you wore your costume.”
"Okay, we need to get back to work,” Ben mutters, quickly walking towards the exit as April follows behind, playing on her phone. Ben’s pretty sure she’s texting Leslie a photo of him geeking out over this, but that’s okay. He does actually have a Starfleet officer costume at home in his closet back in Pawnee.
And Leslie really likes it when he puts it on.
____
3. New Triplet Names
“Hi,” Leslie says as she walks into the house. Ben is standing in the living room with an exasperated look on his face. “What? What’s wrong?”
“The kids…” he starts. Their three-year old toddlers are in the living room playing quietly with their stuffed animals. She takes in the scene carefully-everything looks fine.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“They have new names,” Ben explains.
“What do you mean? They have names. We gave them names and everything. Right after they came out.”
“No, I know, but today, at April and Andy’s new house, I guess April gave them secret names.”
“If they’re secret how do you know…?”
“Because three-year olds are horrible at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, okay. I can see that. What are-”
“Rupert, Horace, and Gracie.”
“Really?” Leslie asks in surprise. “But our names are so much better.”
“Oh, definitely. But now they insist that we call them by their new names.”
“I’m sure it’s just a phase,” she tells him.
“I hope so…although Rupert just said he wants to order business cards with his new name on them.”
“Glasses is one weird kid. First vegetables and now this?”
____
4. Taking the Babies to Work
“Okay. Do we have everything now?”
After he asks the question, both Ben and Leslie look around their cluttered dining room. There are a number of padded bags (six to be exact), three additional tote bags, and three convertible infant car seats sitting on the table, each one filled with a blanketed and sleeping baby.
It’s a fairly warm day for Indiana in January, but it’s still in the low-forties and each triplet has a soft onesie, colorful hat, matching booties, and a warm flannel blanket wrapped around them.
He’s actually slightly concerned that everything is not going to fit, even in their brand new mini-van.
At just a day shy of three months, they decided to bring the babies into work for a day, as a kind of experiment. He’s…well, Ben is pretty sure they’re going to end up getting a nanny even with April and Andy’s help. But, he has to admit, he is looking forward to showing off the three cutest infants in all of Pawnee around City Hall and the brand new National Park Service office.
“Diapers. Bottles. Dirty diaper container. Extra onesies. Play gyms. Rattles. Stuffed bears. Breast milk,” Leslie pauses her list and grins at Ben, puts her hands up to her chest. “Breasts.”
“Good,” he interrupts, smiling back. “Don’t leave home without those.”
“Blankets. Pump. Extra socks. Extra hats. Extra diapers. Oh, wipes.”
“Babies,” Ben adds, peering down into his daughter’s carrier, and taking hold of a little green-bootied foot sticking out from under the fuzzy polka-dot blanket. He rubs gently and smiles when she gurgles in response.
“Babies,” Leslie repeats. “God, that would be embarrassing if we forgot the kids.”
“It would,” he agrees, letting go of the little appendage and looking around the room once more. “Okay, so, they’ll be with you on the third floor in the morning. And then at noon, you guys will come down to my office.”
“Yeah,” Leslie agrees, walking closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Lunch with daddy.”
“That’s me,” Ben tells her proudly, before they kiss.
It’s a smiley kiss, all soft lips gently hitting teeth and soon, both sets of hands are touching over clothing and rubbing softly. It’s not long before Leslie’s palm ends up on his ass for a light squeeze but then a small cry disrupts them.
“Oh, hey, we should maybe not make out right now but go to work.”
Leslie sighs. “Yeah, probably. You’re just really tempting, babe.”
Ben grins. “I know. Okay, I’ll start loading the things in the car, you guys stay here where it’s all nice and warm, and we’ll be out of here in about ten minutes.”
Ben grabs a few bags and then turns around to tell her, “And if we stick to the schedule, we’ll only be,” he looks at his watch, and frowns, “a half hour late. How did that-Okay, well, we probably have a few kinks to work out in the schedule for next time, but…”
“We’ll be here,” Leslie tells him from her spot by the carriers, as he walks to the front door with his first load of baby supplies, “admiring the view.”
5. “You know, it’s okay to cry.” (Sonia and her stuffed animals)
____
“You know, it’s okay to cry,” Ben tells her, wishing that he could see her face while talking to her.
He settles for rubbing a hand lightly over her back, while she continues to bury her tear-stained face in her pillow, still shaking and trying oh-so-hard not to actually sob.
An occasional situation with three five-year olds, a pleasant, fun Saturday afternoon has turned unhappy when two decide to gang up on one. This time, his sons have apparently kicked his daughter out of their secret fort-Leslie’s tent set up in the playroom.
Thankfully, he’s pretty sure he can diffuse this on his own without even getting his wife involved-she’s working on a scrapbook downstairs and Leslie still has forty minutes left in her hour of me time. And if he doesn’t disturb her with a triplet issue, he’ll get his full hour tomorrow afternoon and he wants to use it to re-watch the new episode of the Joss Whedon Bionic Woman reboot.
“I’m not a baby,” his five-year old daughter insists and Ben can’t help but smile at her stubborn, muffled words.
“I know. You’re a big girl.” His hand moves up to her head and he strokes her long blonde hair.
She turns over on her bed and rubs her eyes. “Mommy says to do something even better if they don’t want me to play with them.”
“Well, mommy is very smart. But, if you want to play with your brothers, I can make them let you into the fort.”
“Daddy, it doesn’t count then,” she tells him very seriously.
“Well, we can build our own fort.”
“We can?”
“Yeah.”
“And then not let them play with us?” She asks excitedly and Ben wonders how long it will be before their daughter takes after Leslie even more and suggests setting things on fire for revenge.
“Um, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just start with the fort.”
“Can BoBo come?” She grabs her stuffed ostrich excitedly.
“Yes.”
A little hand reaches for a plush elephant next. “Jack?”
“Yep,” Ben says, smiling and nodding.
She thrusts the two stuffed animals into his arms and then chooses Piney, Waffle-nose, and Noodle from the corner of her bed-a monkey, teddy bear, and fuzzy purple pig.
“Okay, sweetie, if you keep picking stuffed animals to bring to our fort, there won’t even be any room for your brothers if they do want to play with us.”
“Yay!” she yells gleefully, before adding her stuffed giraffe, Margo T. Cuddle-Pants (Leslie helped name that one) to the pile. “Margo says the boys are poopy-heads.”
____
6. Unleash Hell
“My children,” Leslie says, looking around the living room at their three-year old triplets. “On my signal, unleash h-”
“Hey, hey,” Ben interrupts her from the couch, a grin on his face.
Leslie holds back a laugh before changing her words, “unleash a cuddle attack on your father! Go!”
With that, three screaming toddlers pile on Ben while he lies on the couch.
___
7. Fall 2017 - Pawnee (grocery shopping)
“Are you ready, babe?” Leslie asks, as Ben takes one last look at his Gryzzl tablet.
“Yes,” Ben tells her with a nod. “I have a list.”
“Do we need to go over the rules again? Drill it into you?” She tries not to laugh while saying it. This is serious business, after all.
“Really? Drill it into me? I think last time, after you and Stephen came home with a dozen cupcakes and five boxes of brownie mix, if anyone needs to get it drilled-”
She finally can’t help letting her laughter escape. “Okay. Okay. Let’s drill later, focus now.”
Over the past year, they’ve discovered that just one of them taking all three, now almost-three year-old triplets to the grocery store is a complete disaster and it’s not much better if they both go (it’s still three against two). But, one of them taking one child works fairly well.
Aside from giving Ben or Leslie a little one-on-one time with one of their kids on the weekends, there are limited meltdowns, limited instances of a missing triplet ending up crying, trapped behind the dairy case (they still are not sure how Stephen managed that), and limited surprises in the shopping cart when it’s time to leave.
Except for when Leslie takes Stephen, the triplet with the biggest sweet tooth or when Ben and Wes go shopping together-then they end up with a cart full of vegetables that really, no one wants to eat.
The last time, he even came home with a new pet-a cauliflower stalk named Shoe. Which was fine, until Roz accidentally threw it out a couple of days later and they had to make up a story about Shoe going to live on a cauliflower farm.
But today, it’s Ben and Sonia’s turn, which usually works out fairly well. Considering.
“Alright. Yes. List. We will keep both the sweets and the strange snacks to a minimum. I will double-check the shopping cart before I check out and I will not be swayed by adorable eyes, cute little expressions, or even tears. I’m still a little shaky on all-out crying, but we’ll see.”
“And don’t let Bobo talk you into anything this time,” she reminds him.
Ben sighs. “You do realize that a stuffed ostrich didn’t actually talk me into buying gluten-free, cranberry chia seed crackers, right? It was Sonia saying that Margo wanted the crackers. I mean, how cute is that? Your little kid telling you that her stuffed animal wants to have fancy crackers at her tea party?”
“They were gross, Ben. And Bobo didn’t actually eat any crackers, did she?”
“No,” he confirms.
“No. She didn’t. I had to give them to Andy and he didn’t even like them,” Leslie nods. “And that’s saying something.”
“Right. Well, I got this.”
When she still looks unconvinced, he adds, “Look. I just won a seat in the House of Representatives for Indiana’s 10th district and I’m a best-selling fantasy game architect. I think can handle grocery shopping with my small child.”
“That’s the attitude. Stay strong, babe. They’ve been in their room all morning. I think they’re planning something. Good luck.”
“Wait. What? I-”
Just then Sonia comes barreling into the living room, giggling and then hugging Ben around the legs, both BoBo and Margo (her giraffe) sticking out of her pink backpack, currently worn on top of her sparkly fairy wings.
“Daddy! Let’s go! Bobo has a list!”
Leslie makes a face. “Oh boy.”
8. Mishap during sex (too many vegetables)
“Oh my god.” As the words leave her mouth, Leslie’s legs slide down his hips just a little.
It wasn’t even that loud but they both definitely heard it.
As if confirming her suspicions, Ben’s eyes widen and he stops thrusting for a second, and then he’s smiling and laughing quietly above her.
“No. No. That was just a-”
Ben is shaking his head from side-to-side, starting to move again slowly. “No it wasn’t,” he interrupts. “I’m right there. I would have felt it more if it was that.”
“Oh god. That did not just happen.” She’s thinking about using the pillow next to her head to hide her face under for a couple of minutes while he finishes, but then Ben is laughing again, louder this time and he just looks so cute and amused, and really, it is pretty funny and soon Leslie can’t help but join in.
In between giggles, she manages to get out, “It’s your fault. I’m barely even pregnant and you’re making me eat way too many vegetables. My stomach is not used to vegetables, Ben. When you feed me spinach and broccoli…digestive disaster strikes.”
That seems to make Ben laugh even harder, like to where she can even feel it in his movements inside her, before he slides his hand around her hip and under her ass, encouraging her to wrap her legs up high around his waist again.
“It’s not that funny,” she tells him with a pout, trying not to laugh again.
Ben leans in for a kiss, a huge smile on his face. It’s a warm, slow kiss that easily makes her relax, reminds her that sex with Ben is fun and amazing no matter what-whether he falls off the bed while trying to change positions, or she knees him in the face accidentally, or there are unexpected noises from unexpected places right in the middle of it.
“Oh, it really is,” he tells her, moving back up, and speeding his thrusts up again. Then he adds, “It’s also kind of adorable.”
Leslie grins, panting lightly with each push. “Oh yeah? Well, be careful, buddy. I could probably do it again.”
Timeline: All over the place
Summary: 1. Ron makes a present for the triplets, 2. It was a bad idea to bring her here (two versions), 3. New Triplet Names, 4. Taking the babies to work, 5. Sonia and her stuffed animals, 6. Unleash hell, 7. Pawnee 2017 (grocery shopping), 8. Mishap during sex (too many vegetables)
Notes: Somehow, I think I missed these ones earlier! They are here now!
1. Ron Gives the Triplets a Present
When Ben looks up from his desk around noon, the last person he expects to see in City Hall is standing right there. And while Ben is not as upset as a particular person (one that he just happens to be married to), it’s still a surprise to see Ron. Especially since he no longer even works here.
“Hello Ben,” Ron says, walking into the City Manager’s office.
“Ron, hi. Uh-”
“I won’t take up much of your time. I just wanted to drop something off for the triplets.” As he speaks, he walks closer and puts a plain, small cardboard box on Ben’s desk.
When Ben peeks inside, he sees a collection of handmade wooden alphabet blocks. They’re beautiful, like pretty much everything Ron’s ever made in his workshop. Just like the gorgeous triple-crib that currently sits down in his and Leslie’s basement-the triplets now, just since last month, in their brand-new toddler beds.
“They’re solid cherry wood, sanded, two-inch blocks with the letters burned in on all sides. With a natural beeswax finish.”
“Ron, I don’t even…wow. These are so nice.”
“There are twenty-six letters. That should be enough for all three to share. You can use your discretion on whether you want to tell Leslie they’re from me or not.”
Ben sighs. “This is ridiculous. I know you two are still fighting over the Morning Star thing, but, look, we’re having a small party for the triplets’ second birthday Saturday. Why don’t you and Diane-”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.”
“Yeah, probably not.” Ben makes a face. “This is such a beautiful gift, Ron. Thank you. The kids will love them.”
“I’m sure they will be spelling words like free and tax in no time,” his visitor comments, making Ben smile.
“I think we’ll probably start with cat or dog,” Ben tells him.
There are a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, before Ron says, “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.” Ben watches the other man walk away and still can’t believe that he now hardly ever sees someone that was such a large part of his first five years in Pawnee-such a large part of Leslie’s life for even longer.
It’s just so…wrong.
“Ron, thank you again. Really this is so thoughtful and, I just…I mean-”
“It’s fine Ben. I hope the kids enjoy the blocks. You and Leslie have wonderful children.” And with that, Ron continues out of his office, and into the hallway.
____
2. Two Versions of It was a bad idea to bring her here
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
But really, is it Ben’s fault that the toy store (the exact one where he had Leslie’s Li’l Sebastian and Yachter Otter made) is right across the street from the pediatrician’s office and that he just spent the last 10 minutes holding and comforting his three-year old daughter while she screamed and cried after getting a shot?
Now he thinks he knows why Leslie said she had a meeting and couldn’t take her to the doctor to check out a persistent cough-where as Ben only wanted to punch the nurse who had administered the injection, he’s pretty sure his wife would have tackled her and just taken her out after making their daughter cry-this nurse was, after all, no Ann Perkins.
“You can have one stuffed animal,” he gently tells the sniffling little girl in his arms, then adds, “and if you want, you can help me pick one out for each of your brothers.”
“Mommy likes stuffed animals,” his daughter tells him, blinking at Ben with big, watery eyes.
“We’ll pick one out for mommy then, too,” he agrees, kissing the little forehead and then putting her down next to a shelf of plush bears, hippos, dolphins, and zebras.
____
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
He should have just gone by himself this weekend like he was planning to…but then they had walked right by National Air and Space Museum after a working lunch away from the campaign office and Ben figured, what could it hurt to just poke inside the basement gift shop and take a quick look.
“Oh my god,” April’s voice came from behind him again. “This is what you wanted to see? I’m surprised you didn’t wear a costume. Wait…do you have a costume?”
“April, this is an important piece of cultural history-”
“It’s the stupid spaceship from that stupid show you like…Star Wars.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “Star Trek. I don’t even-”
A man interrupts him. “My daughter doesn’t understand the importance of the Enterprise studio model being part of the Smithsonian’s collection either.”
Ben turns towards this new voice and sees a man dressed as a Klingon, standing to his left. Oh good lord, he thinks, this is not helping.
"Oh my god,” he hears April exclaim a third time, and he doesn’t even need to turn and look at her to know she’s making a face like she’s trying not to laugh and can’t believe her good luck at witnessing this incredibly nerdy, dorky moment. “Yeah, dad. I don’t get it. Maybe if you wore your costume.”
"Okay, we need to get back to work,” Ben mutters, quickly walking towards the exit as April follows behind, playing on her phone. Ben’s pretty sure she’s texting Leslie a photo of him geeking out over this, but that’s okay. He does actually have a Starfleet officer costume at home in his closet back in Pawnee.
And Leslie really likes it when he puts it on.
____
3. New Triplet Names
“Hi,” Leslie says as she walks into the house. Ben is standing in the living room with an exasperated look on his face. “What? What’s wrong?”
“The kids…” he starts. Their three-year old toddlers are in the living room playing quietly with their stuffed animals. She takes in the scene carefully-everything looks fine.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“They have new names,” Ben explains.
“What do you mean? They have names. We gave them names and everything. Right after they came out.”
“No, I know, but today, at April and Andy’s new house, I guess April gave them secret names.”
“If they’re secret how do you know…?”
“Because three-year olds are horrible at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, okay. I can see that. What are-”
“Rupert, Horace, and Gracie.”
“Really?” Leslie asks in surprise. “But our names are so much better.”
“Oh, definitely. But now they insist that we call them by their new names.”
“I’m sure it’s just a phase,” she tells him.
“I hope so…although Rupert just said he wants to order business cards with his new name on them.”
“Glasses is one weird kid. First vegetables and now this?”
____
4. Taking the Babies to Work
“Okay. Do we have everything now?”
After he asks the question, both Ben and Leslie look around their cluttered dining room. There are a number of padded bags (six to be exact), three additional tote bags, and three convertible infant car seats sitting on the table, each one filled with a blanketed and sleeping baby.
It’s a fairly warm day for Indiana in January, but it’s still in the low-forties and each triplet has a soft onesie, colorful hat, matching booties, and a warm flannel blanket wrapped around them.
He’s actually slightly concerned that everything is not going to fit, even in their brand new mini-van.
At just a day shy of three months, they decided to bring the babies into work for a day, as a kind of experiment. He’s…well, Ben is pretty sure they’re going to end up getting a nanny even with April and Andy’s help. But, he has to admit, he is looking forward to showing off the three cutest infants in all of Pawnee around City Hall and the brand new National Park Service office.
“Diapers. Bottles. Dirty diaper container. Extra onesies. Play gyms. Rattles. Stuffed bears. Breast milk,” Leslie pauses her list and grins at Ben, puts her hands up to her chest. “Breasts.”
“Good,” he interrupts, smiling back. “Don’t leave home without those.”
“Blankets. Pump. Extra socks. Extra hats. Extra diapers. Oh, wipes.”
“Babies,” Ben adds, peering down into his daughter’s carrier, and taking hold of a little green-bootied foot sticking out from under the fuzzy polka-dot blanket. He rubs gently and smiles when she gurgles in response.
“Babies,” Leslie repeats. “God, that would be embarrassing if we forgot the kids.”
“It would,” he agrees, letting go of the little appendage and looking around the room once more. “Okay, so, they’ll be with you on the third floor in the morning. And then at noon, you guys will come down to my office.”
“Yeah,” Leslie agrees, walking closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Lunch with daddy.”
“That’s me,” Ben tells her proudly, before they kiss.
It’s a smiley kiss, all soft lips gently hitting teeth and soon, both sets of hands are touching over clothing and rubbing softly. It’s not long before Leslie’s palm ends up on his ass for a light squeeze but then a small cry disrupts them.
“Oh, hey, we should maybe not make out right now but go to work.”
Leslie sighs. “Yeah, probably. You’re just really tempting, babe.”
Ben grins. “I know. Okay, I’ll start loading the things in the car, you guys stay here where it’s all nice and warm, and we’ll be out of here in about ten minutes.”
Ben grabs a few bags and then turns around to tell her, “And if we stick to the schedule, we’ll only be,” he looks at his watch, and frowns, “a half hour late. How did that-Okay, well, we probably have a few kinks to work out in the schedule for next time, but…”
“We’ll be here,” Leslie tells him from her spot by the carriers, as he walks to the front door with his first load of baby supplies, “admiring the view.”
5. “You know, it’s okay to cry.” (Sonia and her stuffed animals)
____
“You know, it’s okay to cry,” Ben tells her, wishing that he could see her face while talking to her.
He settles for rubbing a hand lightly over her back, while she continues to bury her tear-stained face in her pillow, still shaking and trying oh-so-hard not to actually sob.
An occasional situation with three five-year olds, a pleasant, fun Saturday afternoon has turned unhappy when two decide to gang up on one. This time, his sons have apparently kicked his daughter out of their secret fort-Leslie’s tent set up in the playroom.
Thankfully, he’s pretty sure he can diffuse this on his own without even getting his wife involved-she’s working on a scrapbook downstairs and Leslie still has forty minutes left in her hour of me time. And if he doesn’t disturb her with a triplet issue, he’ll get his full hour tomorrow afternoon and he wants to use it to re-watch the new episode of the Joss Whedon Bionic Woman reboot.
“I’m not a baby,” his five-year old daughter insists and Ben can’t help but smile at her stubborn, muffled words.
“I know. You’re a big girl.” His hand moves up to her head and he strokes her long blonde hair.
She turns over on her bed and rubs her eyes. “Mommy says to do something even better if they don’t want me to play with them.”
“Well, mommy is very smart. But, if you want to play with your brothers, I can make them let you into the fort.”
“Daddy, it doesn’t count then,” she tells him very seriously.
“Well, we can build our own fort.”
“We can?”
“Yeah.”
“And then not let them play with us?” She asks excitedly and Ben wonders how long it will be before their daughter takes after Leslie even more and suggests setting things on fire for revenge.
“Um, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just start with the fort.”
“Can BoBo come?” She grabs her stuffed ostrich excitedly.
“Yes.”
A little hand reaches for a plush elephant next. “Jack?”
“Yep,” Ben says, smiling and nodding.
She thrusts the two stuffed animals into his arms and then chooses Piney, Waffle-nose, and Noodle from the corner of her bed-a monkey, teddy bear, and fuzzy purple pig.
“Okay, sweetie, if you keep picking stuffed animals to bring to our fort, there won’t even be any room for your brothers if they do want to play with us.”
“Yay!” she yells gleefully, before adding her stuffed giraffe, Margo T. Cuddle-Pants (Leslie helped name that one) to the pile. “Margo says the boys are poopy-heads.”
____
6. Unleash Hell
“My children,” Leslie says, looking around the living room at their three-year old triplets. “On my signal, unleash h-”
“Hey, hey,” Ben interrupts her from the couch, a grin on his face.
Leslie holds back a laugh before changing her words, “unleash a cuddle attack on your father! Go!”
With that, three screaming toddlers pile on Ben while he lies on the couch.
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7. Fall 2017 - Pawnee (grocery shopping)
“Are you ready, babe?” Leslie asks, as Ben takes one last look at his Gryzzl tablet.
“Yes,” Ben tells her with a nod. “I have a list.”
“Do we need to go over the rules again? Drill it into you?” She tries not to laugh while saying it. This is serious business, after all.
“Really? Drill it into me? I think last time, after you and Stephen came home with a dozen cupcakes and five boxes of brownie mix, if anyone needs to get it drilled-”
She finally can’t help letting her laughter escape. “Okay. Okay. Let’s drill later, focus now.”
Over the past year, they’ve discovered that just one of them taking all three, now almost-three year-old triplets to the grocery store is a complete disaster and it’s not much better if they both go (it’s still three against two). But, one of them taking one child works fairly well.
Aside from giving Ben or Leslie a little one-on-one time with one of their kids on the weekends, there are limited meltdowns, limited instances of a missing triplet ending up crying, trapped behind the dairy case (they still are not sure how Stephen managed that), and limited surprises in the shopping cart when it’s time to leave.
Except for when Leslie takes Stephen, the triplet with the biggest sweet tooth or when Ben and Wes go shopping together-then they end up with a cart full of vegetables that really, no one wants to eat.
The last time, he even came home with a new pet-a cauliflower stalk named Shoe. Which was fine, until Roz accidentally threw it out a couple of days later and they had to make up a story about Shoe going to live on a cauliflower farm.
But today, it’s Ben and Sonia’s turn, which usually works out fairly well. Considering.
“Alright. Yes. List. We will keep both the sweets and the strange snacks to a minimum. I will double-check the shopping cart before I check out and I will not be swayed by adorable eyes, cute little expressions, or even tears. I’m still a little shaky on all-out crying, but we’ll see.”
“And don’t let Bobo talk you into anything this time,” she reminds him.
Ben sighs. “You do realize that a stuffed ostrich didn’t actually talk me into buying gluten-free, cranberry chia seed crackers, right? It was Sonia saying that Margo wanted the crackers. I mean, how cute is that? Your little kid telling you that her stuffed animal wants to have fancy crackers at her tea party?”
“They were gross, Ben. And Bobo didn’t actually eat any crackers, did she?”
“No,” he confirms.
“No. She didn’t. I had to give them to Andy and he didn’t even like them,” Leslie nods. “And that’s saying something.”
“Right. Well, I got this.”
When she still looks unconvinced, he adds, “Look. I just won a seat in the House of Representatives for Indiana’s 10th district and I’m a best-selling fantasy game architect. I think can handle grocery shopping with my small child.”
“That’s the attitude. Stay strong, babe. They’ve been in their room all morning. I think they’re planning something. Good luck.”
“Wait. What? I-”
Just then Sonia comes barreling into the living room, giggling and then hugging Ben around the legs, both BoBo and Margo (her giraffe) sticking out of her pink backpack, currently worn on top of her sparkly fairy wings.
“Daddy! Let’s go! Bobo has a list!”
Leslie makes a face. “Oh boy.”
8. Mishap during sex (too many vegetables)
“Oh my god.” As the words leave her mouth, Leslie’s legs slide down his hips just a little.
It wasn’t even that loud but they both definitely heard it.
As if confirming her suspicions, Ben’s eyes widen and he stops thrusting for a second, and then he’s smiling and laughing quietly above her.
“No. No. That was just a-”
Ben is shaking his head from side-to-side, starting to move again slowly. “No it wasn’t,” he interrupts. “I’m right there. I would have felt it more if it was that.”
“Oh god. That did not just happen.” She’s thinking about using the pillow next to her head to hide her face under for a couple of minutes while he finishes, but then Ben is laughing again, louder this time and he just looks so cute and amused, and really, it is pretty funny and soon Leslie can’t help but join in.
In between giggles, she manages to get out, “It’s your fault. I’m barely even pregnant and you’re making me eat way too many vegetables. My stomach is not used to vegetables, Ben. When you feed me spinach and broccoli…digestive disaster strikes.”
That seems to make Ben laugh even harder, like to where she can even feel it in his movements inside her, before he slides his hand around her hip and under her ass, encouraging her to wrap her legs up high around his waist again.
“It’s not that funny,” she tells him with a pout, trying not to laugh again.
Ben leans in for a kiss, a huge smile on his face. It’s a warm, slow kiss that easily makes her relax, reminds her that sex with Ben is fun and amazing no matter what-whether he falls off the bed while trying to change positions, or she knees him in the face accidentally, or there are unexpected noises from unexpected places right in the middle of it.
“Oh, it really is,” he tells her, moving back up, and speeding his thrusts up again. Then he adds, “It’s also kind of adorable.”
Leslie grins, panting lightly with each push. “Oh yeah? Well, be careful, buddy. I could probably do it again.”