Drabbles 5
Summary: 1. Leslie takes a pregnancy test during the break-up, 2. Triplet cuddle attack, 3. It's Okay to cry (Ben/Sonia), 4. The first time Leslie/Ben take the triplets to work, 5. Leslie eats too many vegetables, 6. A gift from Ron, 7. Doctors appointment, 8. 2014 Anniversary, 9. Cravings, 10. Ben asleep, 11. It was a bad idea to bring her here (Ben/Sonia), 12. It was a bad idea to bring her here (Ben/April), 13. So full, 14. New Year’s Eve, Pawnee - 2014, 15. (Prompt) Ben sees the clock turn 11.59
Rating: Generally PG.
Timeline: All over the place! From Season 3 to post-season 6.
1. “I did a pregnancy test.” Post-I'm Leslie Knope
“Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann.” She stops in mid-knock when Ann finally opens her front door.
“Leslie?”
She smiles, wipes at her eyes before speaking. “Hi! I thought we could watch some movies and maybe make brownies for dinner. Ah and maybe drink a bottle of wine too. Yeah, there’s no reason at all that I can’t have wine for dinner,” Leslie says in a rush. Because if she’d stayed at home tonight, she would do something absolutely stupid like call Ben.
And she really can’t do that. Especially not tonight.
Ann holds her arms out and reaches for Leslie’s hands, pulling her inside and into a hug. “Oh, honey, it’s okay.”
“I just…I miss him. And it’s been almost two weeks and I’ve changed my sheets and my bed doesn’t smell like Ben anymore and…” Leslie takes a deep breath and tries to stop crying, pulls back from her friend’s embrace.
She doesn’t even know how to explain this without sounding like a complete idiot.
“I know, break-ups are hard,” Ann says, leading her to the couch where they sit down.
When Leslie gets herself together, she takes a slow, deep breath and gets out much more calmly than she feels.” I did a pregnancy test.”
Ann’s eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. “What? Leslie oh my god, are you-”
“No. No. I was just,” she pauses to sniff and wipe at her eyes again before continuing, “a couple of days late and I freaked out even though we were always super careful and so this afternoon at lunch I bought a test and went home and…it was negative and then, haha, I actually got my period a couple of hours later at work. So, nope…no bun in this oven,” she says quickly, before starting to cry again.
Leslie ends up leaning against Ann as her friend gives her another hug.
“I mean…it’d be a disaster if I was pregnant,” Leslie continues, sitting back up. “And I don’t really want to be right now. Of course I don’t and that would be a horrible reason to get back together and it would ruin my campaign and I don’t want that. I really, really, absolutely don’t,” she says and then pauses. “But…”
“Oh, Leslie,” Ann says softly.
“I’m going to need to eat a lot of ice cream tonight,” Leslie says. “And I was serious about the brownies.”
“Yeah. I know you were,” Ann agrees, smiling at Leslie and trying not to cry herself, before holding her arm out. Leslie takes the invitation and sits closer, puts her head on Ann’s shoulder.
She doesn’t want to be accidentally pregnant-wouldn’t ever want to do that to Ben or her chance of winning a city council seat. But then she was weirdly late and maybe a little part of her wanted to have a reason (even a complicated, unplanned one) to be with Ben. And then it was negative and along with the definite relief there was…something else.
Something that made her start sobbing in her bathroom.
It’s so confusing. She definitely needs ice cream and brownies for dinner and a few Harry Potter movies. And Ann, her beautiful and caring friend-the best friend in the whole world.
“I think I have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer,” Ann says.
“And chocolate chips?”
“Yeah, but Leslie, there are already chocolate chips in the ice cream.”
Leslie lifts her head up and stares at Ann, until her friend nods her head and smiles.
“Yeah, of course I have extra chocolate chips.”
2. Cuddle Attack
“My children,” Leslie says, looking around the living room at their three-year old triplets. “On my signal, unleash h-”
“Hey, hey,” Ben interrupts her from the couch, a grin on his face.
Leslie holds back a laugh before changing her words, “unleash a cuddle attack on your father! Go!”
With that, three screaming toddlers pile on Ben while he lies on the couch.
3: “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
“You know, it’s okay to cry,” Ben tells her, wishing that he could see her face while talking to her.
He settles for rubbing a hand lightly over her back, while she continues to bury her tear-stained face in her pillow, still shaking and trying oh-so-hard not to actually sob.
An occasional situation with three five-year olds, a pleasant, fun Saturday afternoon has turned unhappy when two decide to gang up on one. This time, his sons have apparently kicked his daughter out of their secret fort-Leslie’s tent set up in the playroom.
Thankfully, he’s pretty sure he can diffuse this on his own without even getting his wife involved-she’s working on a scrapbook downstairs and Leslie still has forty minutes left in her hour of me time. And if he doesn’t disturb her with a triplet issue, he’ll get his full hour tomorrow afternoon and he wants to use it to re-watch the new episode of the Joss Whedon Bionic Woman reboot.
“I’m not a baby,” his five-year old daughter insists and Ben can’t help but smile at her stubborn, muffled words.
“I know. You’re a big girl.” His hand moves up to her head and he strokes her long blonde hair.
She turns over on her bed and rubs her eyes. “Mommy says to do something even better if they don’t want me to play with them.”
“Well, mommy is very smart. But, if you want to play with your brothers, I can make them let you into the fort.”
“Daddy, it doesn’t count then,” she tells him very seriously.
“Well, we can build our own fort.”
“We can?”
“Yeah.”
“And then not let them play with us?” She asks excitedly and Ben wonders how long it will be before their daughter takes after Leslie even more and suggests setting things on fire for revenge.
“Um, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just start with the fort.”
“Can BoBo come?” She grabs her stuffed ostrich excitedly.
“Yes.”
A little hand reaches for a plush elephant next. “Jack?”
“Yep,” Ben says, smiling and nodding.
She thrusts the two stuffed animals into his arms and then chooses Piney, Waffle-nose, and Noodle from the corner of her bed-a monkey, teddy bear, and fuzzy purple pig.
“Okay, sweetie, if you keep picking stuffed animals to bring to our fort, there won’t even be any room for your brothers if they do want to play with us.”
“Yay!” she yells gleefully, before adding her stuffed zebra, Margo T. Cuddle-Pants the Third (Leslie helped name that one) to the pile. “Margo says the boys are poopy-heads.”
4. the first time leslie and ben take the triplets at work
“Okay. Do we have everything now?”
After he asks the question, both Ben and Leslie look around their cluttered dining room. There are a number of padded bags (six to be exact), three additional tote bags, and three convertible infant car seats sitting on the table, each one filled with a blanketed and sleeping baby.
It’s a fairly warm day for Indiana in January, but it’s still in the low-forties and each triplet has a soft onesie, colorful hat, matching booties, and a warm flannel blanket wrapped around them.
He’s actually slightly concerned that everything is not going to fit, even in their brand new mini-van. At just a day shy of three months, they decided to bring the babies into work for a day, as a kind of experiment. He’s…well, Ben is pretty sure they’re going to end up getting a nanny even with April and Andy’s help. But, he has to admit, he is looking forward to showing off the three cutest infants in all of Pawnee around City Hall and the brand new National Park Service office.
“Diapers. Bottles. Dirty diaper container. Extra onesies. Play gyms. Rattles. Stuffed bears. Breast milk,” Leslie pauses her list and grins at Ben, puts her hands up to her chest. “Breasts.”
“Good,” he interrupts, smiling back. “Don’t leave home without those.”
“Blankets. Pump. Extra socks. Extra hats. Extra diapers. Oh, wipes.”
“Babies,” Ben adds, peering down into his daughter’s carrier, and taking hold of a little green-bootied foot sticking out from under the fuzzy polka-dot blanket. He rubs gently and smiles when she gurgles in response.
“Babies,” Leslie repeats. “God, that would be embarrassing if we forgot the kids.”
“It would,” he agrees, letting go of the little appendage and looking around the room once more. “Okay, so, they’ll be with you on the third floor in the morning. And then at noon, you guys will come down to my office.”
“Yeah,” Leslie agrees, walking closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Lunch with daddy.”
“That’s me,” Ben tells her proudly, before they kiss. It’s a smiley kiss, all soft lips gently hitting teeth and soon, both sets of hands are touching over clothing and rubbing softly. It’s not long before Leslie’s palm ends up on his ass for a light squeeze but then a small cry disrupts them.
“Oh, hey, we should maybe not make out right now, but go to work.”
Leslie sighs. “Yeah, probably. You’re just really tempting, babe.”
Ben grins. “I know. Okay, I’ll start loading the things in the car, you guys stay here where it’s all nice and warm, and we’ll be out of here in about ten minutes.” Ben grabs a few bags and then turns around to tell her, “And if we stick to the schedule, we’ll only be,” he looks at his watch, and frowns, “a half hour late. How did that-Okay, well, we probably have a few kinks to work out in the schedule for next time, but…”
“We’ll be here,” Leslie tells him from her spot by the carriers, as he walks to the front door with his first load of baby supplies, “admiring the view.”
5. Too Many Vegetables
“Oh my god.” As the words leave her mouth, Leslie’s legs slide down his hips just a little.
It wasn’t even that loud but they both definitely heard it.
As if confirming her suspicions, Ben’s eyes widen and he stops thrusting for a second, and then he’s smiling and laughing quietly above her.
“No. No. That was just a-”
Ben is shaking his head from side-to-side, starting to move again slowly. “No it wasn’t,” he interrupts. “I’m right there. I would have felt it more if it was that.”
“Oh god. That did not just happen.” She’s thinking about using the pillow next to her head to hide her face under for a couple of minutes while he finishes, but then Ben is laughing again, louder this time and he just looks so cute and amused, and really, it is pretty funny and soon Leslie can’t help but join in.
In between giggles, she manages to get out, “It’s your fault. I’m barely even pregnant and you’re making me eat way too many vegetables. My stomach is not used to vegetables, Ben. When you feed me spinach and broccoli…digestive disaster strikes.”
That seems to make Ben laugh even harder, like to where she can even feel it in his movements inside her, before he slides his hand around her hip and under her ass, encouraging her to wrap her legs up high around his waist again.
“It’s not that funny,” she tells him with a pout, trying not to laugh again.
Ben leans in for a kiss, a huge smile on his face. It’s a warm, slow kiss that easily makes her relax, reminds her that sex with Ben is fun and amazing no matter what-whether he falls off the bed while trying to change positions, or she knees him in the face accidentally, or there are unexpected noises from unexpected places right in the middle of it.
“Oh, it really is,” he tells her, moving back up, and speeding his thrusts up again. Then he adds, “It’s also kind of adorable.”
Leslie grins, panting lightly with each push. “Oh yeah? Well, be careful, buddy. I could probably do it again.”
6. A Gift From Ron
When Ben looks up from his desk around noon, the last person he expects to see in City Hall is standing right there. And while Ben is not as upset as a particular person (that he just happens to be married to), it’s still a surprise to see Ron. Especially since he no longer even works here.
“Hello Ben,” Ron says, walking into the City Manager’s office.
“Ron, hi. Uh-”
“I won’t take up much of your time. I just wanted to drop something off for the triplets.” As he speaks, he walks closer and puts a plain, small cardboard box on Ben’s desk.
When Ben peeks inside, he sees a collection of handmade wooden alphabet blocks. They’re beautiful, like pretty much everything Ron’s ever made in his workshop. Just like the gorgeous triple-crib that currently sits down in his and Leslie’s basement-the triplets now, just since last month, in their brand-new toddler beds.
“They’re solid cherry wood, sanded, two-inch blocks with the letters burned in on all sides. With a natural beeswax finish.”
“Ron, I don’t even…these are so nice.”
“There are twenty-six letters. That should be enough for all three to share. You can use your discretion on whether you want to tell Leslie they’re from me or not.”
Ben sighs. “This is ridiculous. I know you two are still fighting over the Morning Star thing, but, look, we’re having a small party for the triplets’ second birthday Saturday. Why don’t you and Diane-”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.”
“Yeah, probably not.” Ben makes a face. “This is such a beautiful gift, Ron. Thank you. The kids will love them.”
“I’m sure they will be spelling words like free and tax in no time,” his visitor comments, making Ben smile.
“I think we’ll probably start with cat or dog,” Ben tells him.
There are a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, before Ron says, “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.”
Ben watches the other man walk away and still can’t believe that he now hardly ever sees someone that was such a large part of his first five years in Pawnee-such a large part of Leslie’s life for even longer.
It’s just so…wrong.
“Ron, thank you again. Really this is so thoughtful and, I just…I mean-”
“It’s fine Ben. I hope the kids enjoy the blocks. You and Leslie have wonderful children.” And with that, Ron continues out of his office, and into the hallway.
7. Doctors Appointment
“We should leave now,” Leslie tells him, walking into his office at a brisk pace.
Ben doesn’t even look up from his folders. “The appointment isn’t for another two hours.”
“There might be traffic. We should leave.”
“Honey, Dr. Saperstein’s office is fifteen minutes away. Even in traffic, that would take, maybe twenty minutes? Twenty-two if there are picketers in front of Sue’s Salads.”
“Ben. Ben, but this is the appointment when we find out what they are. Oh my god, Ben we should leave.”
“They’re babies,” Ben says, looking at her with a grin.
“How are you not more anxious? We find out the sexes of our children. Today! And this it buddy, this is all we get-it better be good. We could be having three girls, or three boys, or one girl and two boys, or two boys and-”
“Leslie, I’m super anxious and excited too, but I’m trying to stay calm. Which is what you need to do. Come here.” As he says it, he gets up and meets her in his doorway, then walks her over to the couch in his office. The one that she has taken a nap on over lunch when she was especially tired over the last couple of weeks.
“Ben, what if we have two girls and a boy?”
“Then I’m going to be out-numbered,” Ben responds. Then he smiles. “That would be amazing.”
“What if it’s three boys?”
“Then we’re going to need a new bathroom.”
Leslie rolls her eyes and leans her head against his shoulder. “Three girls?”
Ben smiles and teases, “Two new bathrooms.”
“Bennnnnn. Why did we schedule the appointment so late in the day? That was such a stupid idea. I should have asked for a six AM appointment.”
“I don’t think we could have gotten one that early.” Ben kisses her temple, takes her hand in his. “It will be four o'clock before you know it. And then we’ll be there and you’ll be on the table, and he’ll tell us what the cute little blobs on the screen are.”
Leslie takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Okay. But I still don’t understand how you are so calm about this.”
“I’m not. I’ve been reading the same sentence in that report over and over for the last twenty minutes.”
8. 2014 Anniversary
“You arranged for a couple’s massage?” Leslie asks, her voice full of surprise as she looks through the scrapbook Ben had made for her one more time.
“Yeah,” he confirms. “But you were off all day trying to save the merger.”
“God, I’m so sorry I missed all of this, babe. It looks amazing. And so sweet and perfect, just like you.” Leslie smiles as she finishes flipping through the scrapbook pages, then starts back at the beginning.
When she turns her attention to her husband again, Ben is looking pretty pleased with himself.
“But I can’t help but come back to the fact that you, Mr. serious, bring-the-hammer-down, City Manager wanted me to get all naked in your office, during business hours?”
Well…" Ben seems to consider her question. “It was our anniversary.”
“It was the day before our anniversary,” Leslie clarifies.
“It was over a morning break?” Ben tries.
“We can get naked at work over breaks now?”
Sometimes, Ben delights in messing with her, but Leslie can’t quite help herself from thinking that it’s kind of fun when she can do it to him.
When he had first accepted the City Manager position, the two of them had sat down one evening and written up some personal, workplace rules to follow, since they would be colleagues once again-there was a binder and everything.
Of course there were exceptions…like she could still make comments about how he had the cutest butt in city government (because he did) and Ben could certainly refer to her as the most adorable Pawnee government employee in the history of the world while they were at work.
And yeah, finishing each others sentences and admitting that they had practiced that at home, naked in bed, was all A-okay. Above the fold. Completely kosher.
But honestly, over the last couple of weeks, Ben had gotten a little lax in the new rules anyway-the ones for everyone regarding Facebook, Twitter, and bathroom breaks, and yeah, even their special, work-appropriate, professional behavior guidelines.
Like recently, they decided that if either of them does a task incredibly well or has an especially trying and difficult day, and it’s late, and everyone else has gone home, then it’s perfectly reasonable that the other might want to get on the floor, under the desk, and do a little praising or consoling.
With their mouths.
Like when Ben was pranked by April, Andy, and Donna, Leslie’s first instinct was to go run her co-workers over with her car. But after a second look at her completely shaken-up, freaked out, and beyond-stressed husband (after both a cop-themed original prank and a strangely detailed counter-prank had backfired), she’d helped him relax using the new, updated guideline while he sat in his chair and ran his fingers lightly through her hair.
And when she had turned in the best trail maintenance report he’d ever seen last week? Well, Leslie got a special bonus of her own around seven PM when he stopped by her office-namely his mouth and tongue between her spread thighs as she sat back in her chair.
The keyword here was professional. She’d made an acrostic and everything.
P erformance
R ecognition (for a task well done!)
O ffice-appropriate
F ringe-benefit
E xtra-effort
S ynergy, yay!
S hirts stay on
I t’s okay-we’re married!
O cassionally
N ot actually naked
A fter-hours
L oophole for de-stressing
But still, the most important rule, the very first one they decided on while finishing up the last of the macaroons and some of the illegal cheese brought back from Paris, the one they still stuck to, was definitely no getting naked while at work-they’d both agreed.
Besides, their house was only three miles from City Hall, it was easy enough to drive home over lunch.
“Under the right circumstances, uh, maybe we could relax that rule just-” Ben starts explaining.
“So we can get naked at work now? Or does that just apply to you and Larry?” She teases.
He snorts in surprise, then tries not to laugh. “I had my boxers on at all times during the couple’s massage. I promise.”
“Yeah. But what about Larry, Ben?”
“Honestly, I didn’t look. And I don’t at all regret that decision.”
“Well,” she closes her scrapbook, gets up, and walks around her desk to take his hands in hers. “This was a wonderful gift. I can’t believe you arranged for all of those perfect activities to celebrate our first year of marriage and you are, without any doubt, the best husband in the whole world.”
“Plus I made dinner last night,” Ben reminds her.
“You made an awesome dinner last night,” she agrees.
Leslie presses in for a kiss, because locking lips at work is absolutely fine and they still have thirty-three more anniversary kisses to go until their deadline at midnight.
But when she pulls back from him, she does think of one important question. “Say, do you still have the Enchanted costume?”
“I rented it for the whole week,” he responds, giving her a smirk.
She giggles. “Good. So, let’s go look at your present,” Leslie pauses to glance at her watch. “It’s in your office and it should be all set up by now.”
“Wait, you got me-”
“Babe, you can’t honestly think you were the only one that broke the no-presents anniversary rule, right?”
She doesn’t even wait for him to answer.
“Oh and I’m pretty sure that after you’re done making that cute, dorky, surprised face, that you’re going to want to give me a reward for my extra-effort here. But as long as we keep it professional, I think it’ll be okay.”
9. Cravings
“Okay,” Ben says, walking into the bedroom, his arms loaded down with snacks. “I have pretzels, peanut butter, pitted green olives, and chocolate sauce. Are you absolutely sure about this?”
“Yes,” Leslie assures him, making a grab for the bag of pretzels as he joins her on the bed. She wastes no time in dipping one into the jar of peanut butter and then topping it with a green olive. Ben watches, making a face as his five-and-a-half month pregnant wife pops it in her mouth and chews, a blissful expression on her face.
“And I see you’ve got The Walking Dead ready to go,” he comments, looking at the paused screen on their TV.
“Yep. Let’s do this.”
“You know, I’m happy to watch a Harry Potter, or maybe The Sound of Music. Fried Green Tomatoes? A few episodes of Murphy Brown?”
Leslie shakes her head. “Maybe some Murphy Brown later but god no to everything else. Babe, everything makes me cry. Except gross stuff and 80s sitcoms starring Candice Bergen. We’re watching this.”
“Okay,” he agrees.
Leslie seems to briefly reconsider before asking, “Are you sure you don’t mind rewatching-”
“Nope,” Ben shakes his head, reaching into the bag for a pretzel. “I can watch it again. Besides, it’ll be interesting to go back and revisit the characters…remember how they got to where they are now.”
“God you’re a nerd. I love you.”
“I know,” he answers with a smirk, giving her his best Han Solo, scoundrel-esque look.
Leslie rolls her eyes and hits play on the remote.
10. Ben asleep
"Shhh," Ben slurs, "Go back to sleep."
Leslie stops reading her book on Rocky Mountain National Park, uses the bookmark to keep her place, and turns to look at her sleeping husband where he’s lying on his stomach next to her on the bed, buried under a couple of cozy comforters. After saying his name quietly a couple of times, she realizes that he must be talking in his sleep-something he always insists she does on a regular basis, but that she’s never caught him doing before.
She wonders if she can influence his dreams or maybe plant a seed of an idea that he’ll remember after he wakes up? She gives it some thought, leans in close, and whispers, “We should take a family trip to DC this summer and you can use your connections to try to get us in to meet with Vice President Biden again, because even though they’ll still be little babies, I think the kids would really get a lot out it and oh, maybe he’d even want to be their godfather, he seems like-”
Suddenly, Ben’s arm comes up and snuggles her down next to him, his lips settling on her neck as he holds her firmly in place and tells her, “nice try, babe.”
At that moment her cell phone went dead.
Time-traveling Betsy Ross flung the useless, strange, and modern device (carefully) on Ben’s cushioned window seat-now she couldn’t alert her minions that she had successfully stolen the secret password and was about to escape.
“You’re not going anywhere,” a voice behind her said and she didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was-Batman, because she’d always recognize the way the Caped Crusader’s body felt pressed up against her back, just like it was now. Of course, he’d never find the secret password, she’d written it on her inner thigh in that special disappearing ink she had procured from Catwoman.
“Funny thing about that ink,” he whispered in her ear, before he kissed her neck and added, “it’s only invisible until I lick it…and I plan on putting my tongue on every single inch of your body until I find that stolen code, and when I do, you’re going to have to pay for your evil plans, Betsy.”
Leslie shivered in anticipation-Batman always had the best punishments.
11. It was a bad idea to bring her here (take 1, Ben/Sonia)
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
But really, is it Ben’s fault that the toy store (the exact one where he had Leslie’s Li’l Sebastian and Yachter Otter made) is right across the street from the pediatrician’s office and that he just spent the last 10 minutes holding and comforting his three-year old daughter while she screamed and cried after getting a shot?
Now he thinks he knows why Leslie said she had a meeting and couldn’t take her to the doctor to check out a persistent cough-where as Ben only wanted to punch the nurse who had administered the injection, he’s pretty sure his wife would have tackled her and just taken her out after making their daughter cry-this nurse was, after all, no Ann Perkins.
“You can have one stuffed animal,” he gently tells the sniffling little girl in his arms, then adds, “and if you want, you can help me pick one out for each of your brothers.”
“Mommy likes stuffed animals,” his daughter tells him, blinking at Ben with big, watery eyes.
“We’ll pick one out for mommy then, too,” he agrees, kissing the little forehead and then putting her down next to a shelf of plush bears, hippos, dolphins, and zebras.
12. It was a bad idea to bring her here (take 2, Ben/April)
He should have just gone by himself this weekend like he was planning to…but then they had walked right by National Air and Space Museum after a working lunch away from the campaign office and Ben figured, what could it hurt to just poke inside the basement gift shop and take a quick look.
“Oh my god,” April’s voice came from behind him again. “This is what you wanted to see? I’m surprised you didn’t wear a costume. Wait…do you have a costume?”
“April, this is an important piece of cultural history-”
“It’s the stupid spaceship from that stupid show you like…Star Wars.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “Star Trek. I don’t even-”
A man interrupts him. “My daughter doesn’t understand the importance of the Enterprise studio model being part of the Smithsonian’s collection either.”
Ben turns towards this new voice and sees a man dressed as a Klingon, standing to his left. Oh good lord, he thinks, this is not helping.
"Oh my god,” he hears April exclaim a third time, and he doesn’t even need to turn and look at her to know she’s making a face like she’s trying not to laugh and can’t believe her good luck at witnessing this incredibly nerdy, dorky moment. “Yeah, dad. I don’t get it. Maybe if you wore your costume.”
"Okay, we need to get back to work,” Ben mutters, quickly walking towards the exit as April follows behind, playing on her phone. Ben’s pretty sure she’s texting Leslie a photo of him geeking out over this, but that’s okay. He does actually have a Starfleet officer costume at home in his closet back in Pawnee.
And Leslie really likes it when he puts it on.
13. So full
"I'm so full," Ben said as he collapsed on the couch next to Leslie, before muttering, "never again."
“Awww, babe, I told you to strategize better and not order the bread pudding and the apple pie,” his girlfriend responded, putting her hand on his stomach and gently rubbing. After a couple of minutes, Leslie untucked his shirt and brushed her fingertips lightly across his bare skin.
"I can’t believe you had four desserts,” he told her, adding, “I had three and I want to die.”
Earlier, they had spent the evening at a restaurant, drinking and eating desserts for dinner on Jennifer Barkley’s tab-whiskey sours, gin and tonics, red wine, chocolate mousse, key lime pie, apple pie, a vanilla shake, even something called a chocolate caramel turtle sundae surprise.
The bill came to over $150 at the end of the night (he had no idea you could even could buy a bottle of champagne to go), and even though Ben was pretty miserable now, Leslie’s warm hand on his stomach felt really good…but he was never going to order bread pudding, apple pie, and a turtle-whatever-the-hell surprise ever again.
14. New Year’s Eve, Pawnee - 2014
“Babe, what if they were taken by aliens?” Andy asks April as they walk up to Ben and Leslie’s front door.
“Then we should definitely move into their house…it’s what they would want.”
“Cool,” Andy agrees. “But seriously, what if they’re doing it? And that’s why they didn’t show up at Tom’s Bistro for New Year’s Eve dinner?”
Ron and Diane were watching the two-month old triplets while Tom, Donna, Jerry (Larry), April, and Andy had arranged for a limo and a fully-paid evening at Tom’s Bistro for the fancy New Year’s Eve, nine-course tasting menu and champagne toast for the new parents. But according to Tom’s text to April, Ben and Leslie had never shown up for their eight PM reservation.
“Ew,” April answers as she digs through her purse for the house key-the one Ben thinks she had returned months ago, but Leslie knows the truth about. “You should go first then.”
Andy laughs and moves to her side. “I’m ready. I’ll protect you!”
April opens the door slowly and Andy leads the way. He stops abruptly, causing April to bump into his back.
“What? What is it? Is it gross?”
“Shhhh…” he tells her.
When she steps around, she sees what her husband does-Leslie lying on the couch, in a fancy black and white beaded dress, Ben in a black suit with his head on her stomach, both of them fast asleep. It looks like they were ready to go out, but ended up napping instead.
“Awwww, look. They’re cute,” Andy whispers.
In response, Leslie makes a snoring-snorting noise and moves her left knee up a bit, while Ben wraps his arms tighter around her hips. The movement causes Leslie’s silver high heel to fall off her right foot and onto the floor, but neither of them wake up from the clatter.
“What should we do?”
April gets out her phone and takes a few pictures of Ben drooling, before telling Andy, “It’s only eight-thirty. Maybe we should go use their dinner reservation. We did pay for it already.”
“Oh and then we could come back here and wake them up at midnight! So they can have some champagne with us and blow those funny paper horns. Oh wait, can Leslie even have champagne? Because of the boob-milk thing?” Andy asks, using his hands to gesture to his chest. “We should get some of those funny paper horns anyway.”
“Come on,” April grabs him by the shirt and starts dragging him towards the door. “I want to go eat weird, fancy food with you. Then we’ll decide what to do next.”
“Awesome,” Andy replies, taking her hand.
15. (Prompt) Ben sees the clock turn 11.59 just behind Leslie's head.
It takes him a second or two more of slowly blinking and waking up fully to realize that the beaded pillow he’s resting his head on is actually his wife’s stomach and that the nice, comforting feeling that he’s been experiencing is due to Leslie’s fingers softly playing through his messy hair.
“Hi,” he says, lifting his head and giving her a smile. Then he adds, “I think we fell asleep.”
Leslie laughs before telling him, “I think you’re right. I don’t even remember the limo getting here. Oh! What time is it?”
“A minute to midnight,” Ben answers, carefully crawling the rest of the way up her body and rearranging their position so they’re lying side by side on the couch. He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out his phone so they can see when the clock actually strikes midnight.
April’s sent him a couple of texts and when he clicks on messages he sees a picture of himself asleep and drooling on Leslie and also a second one, a selfie of April and Andy at Tom’s Bistro, eating what looks like big bowls of pasta with a freaky little tower of clams and lamb chop bones that they’ve constructed to the side of their bowls.
Leslie laughs when he shows her the images. “That’s okay. This was a pretty wonderful evening.” She points to the top of his phone, “Look it’s midnight. You need to kiss me because it’s-”
His lips are on hers before Leslie can even finish her sentence. He needs to kiss her not because it’s now 2015, or even because this is the first whole year they’ll be parents to three amazing children, but because right now, napping and snuggling on the couch together on New Year’s Eve, he’s never, ever loved anymore more.
Rating: Generally PG.
Timeline: All over the place! From Season 3 to post-season 6.
1. “I did a pregnancy test.” Post-I'm Leslie Knope
“Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann.” She stops in mid-knock when Ann finally opens her front door.
“Leslie?”
She smiles, wipes at her eyes before speaking. “Hi! I thought we could watch some movies and maybe make brownies for dinner. Ah and maybe drink a bottle of wine too. Yeah, there’s no reason at all that I can’t have wine for dinner,” Leslie says in a rush. Because if she’d stayed at home tonight, she would do something absolutely stupid like call Ben.
And she really can’t do that. Especially not tonight.
Ann holds her arms out and reaches for Leslie’s hands, pulling her inside and into a hug. “Oh, honey, it’s okay.”
“I just…I miss him. And it’s been almost two weeks and I’ve changed my sheets and my bed doesn’t smell like Ben anymore and…” Leslie takes a deep breath and tries to stop crying, pulls back from her friend’s embrace.
She doesn’t even know how to explain this without sounding like a complete idiot.
“I know, break-ups are hard,” Ann says, leading her to the couch where they sit down.
When Leslie gets herself together, she takes a slow, deep breath and gets out much more calmly than she feels.” I did a pregnancy test.”
Ann’s eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. “What? Leslie oh my god, are you-”
“No. No. I was just,” she pauses to sniff and wipe at her eyes again before continuing, “a couple of days late and I freaked out even though we were always super careful and so this afternoon at lunch I bought a test and went home and…it was negative and then, haha, I actually got my period a couple of hours later at work. So, nope…no bun in this oven,” she says quickly, before starting to cry again.
Leslie ends up leaning against Ann as her friend gives her another hug.
“I mean…it’d be a disaster if I was pregnant,” Leslie continues, sitting back up. “And I don’t really want to be right now. Of course I don’t and that would be a horrible reason to get back together and it would ruin my campaign and I don’t want that. I really, really, absolutely don’t,” she says and then pauses. “But…”
“Oh, Leslie,” Ann says softly.
“I’m going to need to eat a lot of ice cream tonight,” Leslie says. “And I was serious about the brownies.”
“Yeah. I know you were,” Ann agrees, smiling at Leslie and trying not to cry herself, before holding her arm out. Leslie takes the invitation and sits closer, puts her head on Ann’s shoulder.
She doesn’t want to be accidentally pregnant-wouldn’t ever want to do that to Ben or her chance of winning a city council seat. But then she was weirdly late and maybe a little part of her wanted to have a reason (even a complicated, unplanned one) to be with Ben. And then it was negative and along with the definite relief there was…something else.
Something that made her start sobbing in her bathroom.
It’s so confusing. She definitely needs ice cream and brownies for dinner and a few Harry Potter movies. And Ann, her beautiful and caring friend-the best friend in the whole world.
“I think I have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer,” Ann says.
“And chocolate chips?”
“Yeah, but Leslie, there are already chocolate chips in the ice cream.”
Leslie lifts her head up and stares at Ann, until her friend nods her head and smiles.
“Yeah, of course I have extra chocolate chips.”
2. Cuddle Attack
“My children,” Leslie says, looking around the living room at their three-year old triplets. “On my signal, unleash h-”
“Hey, hey,” Ben interrupts her from the couch, a grin on his face.
Leslie holds back a laugh before changing her words, “unleash a cuddle attack on your father! Go!”
With that, three screaming toddlers pile on Ben while he lies on the couch.
3: “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
“You know, it’s okay to cry,” Ben tells her, wishing that he could see her face while talking to her.
He settles for rubbing a hand lightly over her back, while she continues to bury her tear-stained face in her pillow, still shaking and trying oh-so-hard not to actually sob.
An occasional situation with three five-year olds, a pleasant, fun Saturday afternoon has turned unhappy when two decide to gang up on one. This time, his sons have apparently kicked his daughter out of their secret fort-Leslie’s tent set up in the playroom.
Thankfully, he’s pretty sure he can diffuse this on his own without even getting his wife involved-she’s working on a scrapbook downstairs and Leslie still has forty minutes left in her hour of me time. And if he doesn’t disturb her with a triplet issue, he’ll get his full hour tomorrow afternoon and he wants to use it to re-watch the new episode of the Joss Whedon Bionic Woman reboot.
“I’m not a baby,” his five-year old daughter insists and Ben can’t help but smile at her stubborn, muffled words.
“I know. You’re a big girl.” His hand moves up to her head and he strokes her long blonde hair.
She turns over on her bed and rubs her eyes. “Mommy says to do something even better if they don’t want me to play with them.”
“Well, mommy is very smart. But, if you want to play with your brothers, I can make them let you into the fort.”
“Daddy, it doesn’t count then,” she tells him very seriously.
“Well, we can build our own fort.”
“We can?”
“Yeah.”
“And then not let them play with us?” She asks excitedly and Ben wonders how long it will be before their daughter takes after Leslie even more and suggests setting things on fire for revenge.
“Um, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just start with the fort.”
“Can BoBo come?” She grabs her stuffed ostrich excitedly.
“Yes.”
A little hand reaches for a plush elephant next. “Jack?”
“Yep,” Ben says, smiling and nodding.
She thrusts the two stuffed animals into his arms and then chooses Piney, Waffle-nose, and Noodle from the corner of her bed-a monkey, teddy bear, and fuzzy purple pig.
“Okay, sweetie, if you keep picking stuffed animals to bring to our fort, there won’t even be any room for your brothers if they do want to play with us.”
“Yay!” she yells gleefully, before adding her stuffed zebra, Margo T. Cuddle-Pants the Third (Leslie helped name that one) to the pile. “Margo says the boys are poopy-heads.”
4. the first time leslie and ben take the triplets at work
“Okay. Do we have everything now?”
After he asks the question, both Ben and Leslie look around their cluttered dining room. There are a number of padded bags (six to be exact), three additional tote bags, and three convertible infant car seats sitting on the table, each one filled with a blanketed and sleeping baby.
It’s a fairly warm day for Indiana in January, but it’s still in the low-forties and each triplet has a soft onesie, colorful hat, matching booties, and a warm flannel blanket wrapped around them.
He’s actually slightly concerned that everything is not going to fit, even in their brand new mini-van. At just a day shy of three months, they decided to bring the babies into work for a day, as a kind of experiment. He’s…well, Ben is pretty sure they’re going to end up getting a nanny even with April and Andy’s help. But, he has to admit, he is looking forward to showing off the three cutest infants in all of Pawnee around City Hall and the brand new National Park Service office.
“Diapers. Bottles. Dirty diaper container. Extra onesies. Play gyms. Rattles. Stuffed bears. Breast milk,” Leslie pauses her list and grins at Ben, puts her hands up to her chest. “Breasts.”
“Good,” he interrupts, smiling back. “Don’t leave home without those.”
“Blankets. Pump. Extra socks. Extra hats. Extra diapers. Oh, wipes.”
“Babies,” Ben adds, peering down into his daughter’s carrier, and taking hold of a little green-bootied foot sticking out from under the fuzzy polka-dot blanket. He rubs gently and smiles when she gurgles in response.
“Babies,” Leslie repeats. “God, that would be embarrassing if we forgot the kids.”
“It would,” he agrees, letting go of the little appendage and looking around the room once more. “Okay, so, they’ll be with you on the third floor in the morning. And then at noon, you guys will come down to my office.”
“Yeah,” Leslie agrees, walking closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Lunch with daddy.”
“That’s me,” Ben tells her proudly, before they kiss. It’s a smiley kiss, all soft lips gently hitting teeth and soon, both sets of hands are touching over clothing and rubbing softly. It’s not long before Leslie’s palm ends up on his ass for a light squeeze but then a small cry disrupts them.
“Oh, hey, we should maybe not make out right now, but go to work.”
Leslie sighs. “Yeah, probably. You’re just really tempting, babe.”
Ben grins. “I know. Okay, I’ll start loading the things in the car, you guys stay here where it’s all nice and warm, and we’ll be out of here in about ten minutes.” Ben grabs a few bags and then turns around to tell her, “And if we stick to the schedule, we’ll only be,” he looks at his watch, and frowns, “a half hour late. How did that-Okay, well, we probably have a few kinks to work out in the schedule for next time, but…”
“We’ll be here,” Leslie tells him from her spot by the carriers, as he walks to the front door with his first load of baby supplies, “admiring the view.”
5. Too Many Vegetables
“Oh my god.” As the words leave her mouth, Leslie’s legs slide down his hips just a little.
It wasn’t even that loud but they both definitely heard it.
As if confirming her suspicions, Ben’s eyes widen and he stops thrusting for a second, and then he’s smiling and laughing quietly above her.
“No. No. That was just a-”
Ben is shaking his head from side-to-side, starting to move again slowly. “No it wasn’t,” he interrupts. “I’m right there. I would have felt it more if it was that.”
“Oh god. That did not just happen.” She’s thinking about using the pillow next to her head to hide her face under for a couple of minutes while he finishes, but then Ben is laughing again, louder this time and he just looks so cute and amused, and really, it is pretty funny and soon Leslie can’t help but join in.
In between giggles, she manages to get out, “It’s your fault. I’m barely even pregnant and you’re making me eat way too many vegetables. My stomach is not used to vegetables, Ben. When you feed me spinach and broccoli…digestive disaster strikes.”
That seems to make Ben laugh even harder, like to where she can even feel it in his movements inside her, before he slides his hand around her hip and under her ass, encouraging her to wrap her legs up high around his waist again.
“It’s not that funny,” she tells him with a pout, trying not to laugh again.
Ben leans in for a kiss, a huge smile on his face. It’s a warm, slow kiss that easily makes her relax, reminds her that sex with Ben is fun and amazing no matter what-whether he falls off the bed while trying to change positions, or she knees him in the face accidentally, or there are unexpected noises from unexpected places right in the middle of it.
“Oh, it really is,” he tells her, moving back up, and speeding his thrusts up again. Then he adds, “It’s also kind of adorable.”
Leslie grins, panting lightly with each push. “Oh yeah? Well, be careful, buddy. I could probably do it again.”
6. A Gift From Ron
When Ben looks up from his desk around noon, the last person he expects to see in City Hall is standing right there. And while Ben is not as upset as a particular person (that he just happens to be married to), it’s still a surprise to see Ron. Especially since he no longer even works here.
“Hello Ben,” Ron says, walking into the City Manager’s office.
“Ron, hi. Uh-”
“I won’t take up much of your time. I just wanted to drop something off for the triplets.” As he speaks, he walks closer and puts a plain, small cardboard box on Ben’s desk.
When Ben peeks inside, he sees a collection of handmade wooden alphabet blocks. They’re beautiful, like pretty much everything Ron’s ever made in his workshop. Just like the gorgeous triple-crib that currently sits down in his and Leslie’s basement-the triplets now, just since last month, in their brand-new toddler beds.
“They’re solid cherry wood, sanded, two-inch blocks with the letters burned in on all sides. With a natural beeswax finish.”
“Ron, I don’t even…these are so nice.”
“There are twenty-six letters. That should be enough for all three to share. You can use your discretion on whether you want to tell Leslie they’re from me or not.”
Ben sighs. “This is ridiculous. I know you two are still fighting over the Morning Star thing, but, look, we’re having a small party for the triplets’ second birthday Saturday. Why don’t you and Diane-”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, son.”
“Yeah, probably not.” Ben makes a face. “This is such a beautiful gift, Ron. Thank you. The kids will love them.”
“I’m sure they will be spelling words like free and tax in no time,” his visitor comments, making Ben smile.
“I think we’ll probably start with cat or dog,” Ben tells him.
There are a couple of seconds of uncomfortable silence, before Ron says, “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.”
Ben watches the other man walk away and still can’t believe that he now hardly ever sees someone that was such a large part of his first five years in Pawnee-such a large part of Leslie’s life for even longer.
It’s just so…wrong.
“Ron, thank you again. Really this is so thoughtful and, I just…I mean-”
“It’s fine Ben. I hope the kids enjoy the blocks. You and Leslie have wonderful children.” And with that, Ron continues out of his office, and into the hallway.
7. Doctors Appointment
“We should leave now,” Leslie tells him, walking into his office at a brisk pace.
Ben doesn’t even look up from his folders. “The appointment isn’t for another two hours.”
“There might be traffic. We should leave.”
“Honey, Dr. Saperstein’s office is fifteen minutes away. Even in traffic, that would take, maybe twenty minutes? Twenty-two if there are picketers in front of Sue’s Salads.”
“Ben. Ben, but this is the appointment when we find out what they are. Oh my god, Ben we should leave.”
“They’re babies,” Ben says, looking at her with a grin.
“How are you not more anxious? We find out the sexes of our children. Today! And this it buddy, this is all we get-it better be good. We could be having three girls, or three boys, or one girl and two boys, or two boys and-”
“Leslie, I’m super anxious and excited too, but I’m trying to stay calm. Which is what you need to do. Come here.” As he says it, he gets up and meets her in his doorway, then walks her over to the couch in his office. The one that she has taken a nap on over lunch when she was especially tired over the last couple of weeks.
“Ben, what if we have two girls and a boy?”
“Then I’m going to be out-numbered,” Ben responds. Then he smiles. “That would be amazing.”
“What if it’s three boys?”
“Then we’re going to need a new bathroom.”
Leslie rolls her eyes and leans her head against his shoulder. “Three girls?”
Ben smiles and teases, “Two new bathrooms.”
“Bennnnnn. Why did we schedule the appointment so late in the day? That was such a stupid idea. I should have asked for a six AM appointment.”
“I don’t think we could have gotten one that early.” Ben kisses her temple, takes her hand in his. “It will be four o'clock before you know it. And then we’ll be there and you’ll be on the table, and he’ll tell us what the cute little blobs on the screen are.”
Leslie takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Okay. But I still don’t understand how you are so calm about this.”
“I’m not. I’ve been reading the same sentence in that report over and over for the last twenty minutes.”
8. 2014 Anniversary
“You arranged for a couple’s massage?” Leslie asks, her voice full of surprise as she looks through the scrapbook Ben had made for her one more time.
“Yeah,” he confirms. “But you were off all day trying to save the merger.”
“God, I’m so sorry I missed all of this, babe. It looks amazing. And so sweet and perfect, just like you.” Leslie smiles as she finishes flipping through the scrapbook pages, then starts back at the beginning.
When she turns her attention to her husband again, Ben is looking pretty pleased with himself.
“But I can’t help but come back to the fact that you, Mr. serious, bring-the-hammer-down, City Manager wanted me to get all naked in your office, during business hours?”
Well…" Ben seems to consider her question. “It was our anniversary.”
“It was the day before our anniversary,” Leslie clarifies.
“It was over a morning break?” Ben tries.
“We can get naked at work over breaks now?”
Sometimes, Ben delights in messing with her, but Leslie can’t quite help herself from thinking that it’s kind of fun when she can do it to him.
When he had first accepted the City Manager position, the two of them had sat down one evening and written up some personal, workplace rules to follow, since they would be colleagues once again-there was a binder and everything.
Of course there were exceptions…like she could still make comments about how he had the cutest butt in city government (because he did) and Ben could certainly refer to her as the most adorable Pawnee government employee in the history of the world while they were at work.
And yeah, finishing each others sentences and admitting that they had practiced that at home, naked in bed, was all A-okay. Above the fold. Completely kosher.
But honestly, over the last couple of weeks, Ben had gotten a little lax in the new rules anyway-the ones for everyone regarding Facebook, Twitter, and bathroom breaks, and yeah, even their special, work-appropriate, professional behavior guidelines.
Like recently, they decided that if either of them does a task incredibly well or has an especially trying and difficult day, and it’s late, and everyone else has gone home, then it’s perfectly reasonable that the other might want to get on the floor, under the desk, and do a little praising or consoling.
With their mouths.
Like when Ben was pranked by April, Andy, and Donna, Leslie’s first instinct was to go run her co-workers over with her car. But after a second look at her completely shaken-up, freaked out, and beyond-stressed husband (after both a cop-themed original prank and a strangely detailed counter-prank had backfired), she’d helped him relax using the new, updated guideline while he sat in his chair and ran his fingers lightly through her hair.
And when she had turned in the best trail maintenance report he’d ever seen last week? Well, Leslie got a special bonus of her own around seven PM when he stopped by her office-namely his mouth and tongue between her spread thighs as she sat back in her chair.
The keyword here was professional. She’d made an acrostic and everything.
P erformance
R ecognition (for a task well done!)
O ffice-appropriate
F ringe-benefit
E xtra-effort
S ynergy, yay!
S hirts stay on
I t’s okay-we’re married!
O cassionally
N ot actually naked
A fter-hours
L oophole for de-stressing
But still, the most important rule, the very first one they decided on while finishing up the last of the macaroons and some of the illegal cheese brought back from Paris, the one they still stuck to, was definitely no getting naked while at work-they’d both agreed.
Besides, their house was only three miles from City Hall, it was easy enough to drive home over lunch.
“Under the right circumstances, uh, maybe we could relax that rule just-” Ben starts explaining.
“So we can get naked at work now? Or does that just apply to you and Larry?” She teases.
He snorts in surprise, then tries not to laugh. “I had my boxers on at all times during the couple’s massage. I promise.”
“Yeah. But what about Larry, Ben?”
“Honestly, I didn’t look. And I don’t at all regret that decision.”
“Well,” she closes her scrapbook, gets up, and walks around her desk to take his hands in hers. “This was a wonderful gift. I can’t believe you arranged for all of those perfect activities to celebrate our first year of marriage and you are, without any doubt, the best husband in the whole world.”
“Plus I made dinner last night,” Ben reminds her.
“You made an awesome dinner last night,” she agrees.
Leslie presses in for a kiss, because locking lips at work is absolutely fine and they still have thirty-three more anniversary kisses to go until their deadline at midnight.
But when she pulls back from him, she does think of one important question. “Say, do you still have the Enchanted costume?”
“I rented it for the whole week,” he responds, giving her a smirk.
She giggles. “Good. So, let’s go look at your present,” Leslie pauses to glance at her watch. “It’s in your office and it should be all set up by now.”
“Wait, you got me-”
“Babe, you can’t honestly think you were the only one that broke the no-presents anniversary rule, right?”
She doesn’t even wait for him to answer.
“Oh and I’m pretty sure that after you’re done making that cute, dorky, surprised face, that you’re going to want to give me a reward for my extra-effort here. But as long as we keep it professional, I think it’ll be okay.”
9. Cravings
“Okay,” Ben says, walking into the bedroom, his arms loaded down with snacks. “I have pretzels, peanut butter, pitted green olives, and chocolate sauce. Are you absolutely sure about this?”
“Yes,” Leslie assures him, making a grab for the bag of pretzels as he joins her on the bed. She wastes no time in dipping one into the jar of peanut butter and then topping it with a green olive. Ben watches, making a face as his five-and-a-half month pregnant wife pops it in her mouth and chews, a blissful expression on her face.
“And I see you’ve got The Walking Dead ready to go,” he comments, looking at the paused screen on their TV.
“Yep. Let’s do this.”
“You know, I’m happy to watch a Harry Potter, or maybe The Sound of Music. Fried Green Tomatoes? A few episodes of Murphy Brown?”
Leslie shakes her head. “Maybe some Murphy Brown later but god no to everything else. Babe, everything makes me cry. Except gross stuff and 80s sitcoms starring Candice Bergen. We’re watching this.”
“Okay,” he agrees.
Leslie seems to briefly reconsider before asking, “Are you sure you don’t mind rewatching-”
“Nope,” Ben shakes his head, reaching into the bag for a pretzel. “I can watch it again. Besides, it’ll be interesting to go back and revisit the characters…remember how they got to where they are now.”
“God you’re a nerd. I love you.”
“I know,” he answers with a smirk, giving her his best Han Solo, scoundrel-esque look.
Leslie rolls her eyes and hits play on the remote.
10. Ben asleep
"Shhh," Ben slurs, "Go back to sleep."
Leslie stops reading her book on Rocky Mountain National Park, uses the bookmark to keep her place, and turns to look at her sleeping husband where he’s lying on his stomach next to her on the bed, buried under a couple of cozy comforters. After saying his name quietly a couple of times, she realizes that he must be talking in his sleep-something he always insists she does on a regular basis, but that she’s never caught him doing before.
She wonders if she can influence his dreams or maybe plant a seed of an idea that he’ll remember after he wakes up? She gives it some thought, leans in close, and whispers, “We should take a family trip to DC this summer and you can use your connections to try to get us in to meet with Vice President Biden again, because even though they’ll still be little babies, I think the kids would really get a lot out it and oh, maybe he’d even want to be their godfather, he seems like-”
Suddenly, Ben’s arm comes up and snuggles her down next to him, his lips settling on her neck as he holds her firmly in place and tells her, “nice try, babe.”
At that moment her cell phone went dead.
Time-traveling Betsy Ross flung the useless, strange, and modern device (carefully) on Ben’s cushioned window seat-now she couldn’t alert her minions that she had successfully stolen the secret password and was about to escape.
“You’re not going anywhere,” a voice behind her said and she didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was-Batman, because she’d always recognize the way the Caped Crusader’s body felt pressed up against her back, just like it was now. Of course, he’d never find the secret password, she’d written it on her inner thigh in that special disappearing ink she had procured from Catwoman.
“Funny thing about that ink,” he whispered in her ear, before he kissed her neck and added, “it’s only invisible until I lick it…and I plan on putting my tongue on every single inch of your body until I find that stolen code, and when I do, you’re going to have to pay for your evil plans, Betsy.”
Leslie shivered in anticipation-Batman always had the best punishments.
11. It was a bad idea to bring her here (take 1, Ben/Sonia)
It was a bad idea to bring her here.
But really, is it Ben’s fault that the toy store (the exact one where he had Leslie’s Li’l Sebastian and Yachter Otter made) is right across the street from the pediatrician’s office and that he just spent the last 10 minutes holding and comforting his three-year old daughter while she screamed and cried after getting a shot?
Now he thinks he knows why Leslie said she had a meeting and couldn’t take her to the doctor to check out a persistent cough-where as Ben only wanted to punch the nurse who had administered the injection, he’s pretty sure his wife would have tackled her and just taken her out after making their daughter cry-this nurse was, after all, no Ann Perkins.
“You can have one stuffed animal,” he gently tells the sniffling little girl in his arms, then adds, “and if you want, you can help me pick one out for each of your brothers.”
“Mommy likes stuffed animals,” his daughter tells him, blinking at Ben with big, watery eyes.
“We’ll pick one out for mommy then, too,” he agrees, kissing the little forehead and then putting her down next to a shelf of plush bears, hippos, dolphins, and zebras.
12. It was a bad idea to bring her here (take 2, Ben/April)
He should have just gone by himself this weekend like he was planning to…but then they had walked right by National Air and Space Museum after a working lunch away from the campaign office and Ben figured, what could it hurt to just poke inside the basement gift shop and take a quick look.
“Oh my god,” April’s voice came from behind him again. “This is what you wanted to see? I’m surprised you didn’t wear a costume. Wait…do you have a costume?”
“April, this is an important piece of cultural history-”
“It’s the stupid spaceship from that stupid show you like…Star Wars.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “Star Trek. I don’t even-”
A man interrupts him. “My daughter doesn’t understand the importance of the Enterprise studio model being part of the Smithsonian’s collection either.”
Ben turns towards this new voice and sees a man dressed as a Klingon, standing to his left. Oh good lord, he thinks, this is not helping.
"Oh my god,” he hears April exclaim a third time, and he doesn’t even need to turn and look at her to know she’s making a face like she’s trying not to laugh and can’t believe her good luck at witnessing this incredibly nerdy, dorky moment. “Yeah, dad. I don’t get it. Maybe if you wore your costume.”
"Okay, we need to get back to work,” Ben mutters, quickly walking towards the exit as April follows behind, playing on her phone. Ben’s pretty sure she’s texting Leslie a photo of him geeking out over this, but that’s okay. He does actually have a Starfleet officer costume at home in his closet back in Pawnee.
And Leslie really likes it when he puts it on.
13. So full
"I'm so full," Ben said as he collapsed on the couch next to Leslie, before muttering, "never again."
“Awww, babe, I told you to strategize better and not order the bread pudding and the apple pie,” his girlfriend responded, putting her hand on his stomach and gently rubbing. After a couple of minutes, Leslie untucked his shirt and brushed her fingertips lightly across his bare skin.
"I can’t believe you had four desserts,” he told her, adding, “I had three and I want to die.”
Earlier, they had spent the evening at a restaurant, drinking and eating desserts for dinner on Jennifer Barkley’s tab-whiskey sours, gin and tonics, red wine, chocolate mousse, key lime pie, apple pie, a vanilla shake, even something called a chocolate caramel turtle sundae surprise.
The bill came to over $150 at the end of the night (he had no idea you could even could buy a bottle of champagne to go), and even though Ben was pretty miserable now, Leslie’s warm hand on his stomach felt really good…but he was never going to order bread pudding, apple pie, and a turtle-whatever-the-hell surprise ever again.
14. New Year’s Eve, Pawnee - 2014
“Babe, what if they were taken by aliens?” Andy asks April as they walk up to Ben and Leslie’s front door.
“Then we should definitely move into their house…it’s what they would want.”
“Cool,” Andy agrees. “But seriously, what if they’re doing it? And that’s why they didn’t show up at Tom’s Bistro for New Year’s Eve dinner?”
Ron and Diane were watching the two-month old triplets while Tom, Donna, Jerry (Larry), April, and Andy had arranged for a limo and a fully-paid evening at Tom’s Bistro for the fancy New Year’s Eve, nine-course tasting menu and champagne toast for the new parents. But according to Tom’s text to April, Ben and Leslie had never shown up for their eight PM reservation.
“Ew,” April answers as she digs through her purse for the house key-the one Ben thinks she had returned months ago, but Leslie knows the truth about. “You should go first then.”
Andy laughs and moves to her side. “I’m ready. I’ll protect you!”
April opens the door slowly and Andy leads the way. He stops abruptly, causing April to bump into his back.
“What? What is it? Is it gross?”
“Shhhh…” he tells her.
When she steps around, she sees what her husband does-Leslie lying on the couch, in a fancy black and white beaded dress, Ben in a black suit with his head on her stomach, both of them fast asleep. It looks like they were ready to go out, but ended up napping instead.
“Awwww, look. They’re cute,” Andy whispers.
In response, Leslie makes a snoring-snorting noise and moves her left knee up a bit, while Ben wraps his arms tighter around her hips. The movement causes Leslie’s silver high heel to fall off her right foot and onto the floor, but neither of them wake up from the clatter.
“What should we do?”
April gets out her phone and takes a few pictures of Ben drooling, before telling Andy, “It’s only eight-thirty. Maybe we should go use their dinner reservation. We did pay for it already.”
“Oh and then we could come back here and wake them up at midnight! So they can have some champagne with us and blow those funny paper horns. Oh wait, can Leslie even have champagne? Because of the boob-milk thing?” Andy asks, using his hands to gesture to his chest. “We should get some of those funny paper horns anyway.”
“Come on,” April grabs him by the shirt and starts dragging him towards the door. “I want to go eat weird, fancy food with you. Then we’ll decide what to do next.”
“Awesome,” Andy replies, taking her hand.
15. (Prompt) Ben sees the clock turn 11.59 just behind Leslie's head.
It takes him a second or two more of slowly blinking and waking up fully to realize that the beaded pillow he’s resting his head on is actually his wife’s stomach and that the nice, comforting feeling that he’s been experiencing is due to Leslie’s fingers softly playing through his messy hair.
“Hi,” he says, lifting his head and giving her a smile. Then he adds, “I think we fell asleep.”
Leslie laughs before telling him, “I think you’re right. I don’t even remember the limo getting here. Oh! What time is it?”
“A minute to midnight,” Ben answers, carefully crawling the rest of the way up her body and rearranging their position so they’re lying side by side on the couch. He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out his phone so they can see when the clock actually strikes midnight.
April’s sent him a couple of texts and when he clicks on messages he sees a picture of himself asleep and drooling on Leslie and also a second one, a selfie of April and Andy at Tom’s Bistro, eating what looks like big bowls of pasta with a freaky little tower of clams and lamb chop bones that they’ve constructed to the side of their bowls.
Leslie laughs when he shows her the images. “That’s okay. This was a pretty wonderful evening.” She points to the top of his phone, “Look it’s midnight. You need to kiss me because it’s-”
His lips are on hers before Leslie can even finish her sentence. He needs to kiss her not because it’s now 2015, or even because this is the first whole year they’ll be parents to three amazing children, but because right now, napping and snuggling on the couch together on New Year’s Eve, he’s never, ever loved anymore more.