In Love With A Woman
Wednesday, May 5th 2010 at 8:25am
It feels good to be awake in the morning. It feels good to make my man lunch. This morning I packed for him kumquats - perhaps six of them (which I washed first), and pecans (organic and raw from Trader Joe's) - around fifteen of them, and dates (pre-washed by Paladin at a previous point and from a bowl in the fridge) - about seven of them, sprouts which I washed (which you know is true love because I hate the smell of sprouts; they make me feel sick), with kidney beans and three olives with dill and lemon pepper seasoning as a 'leafless salad.' As well as a small portion of a banana, and a few types of seeds. For breakfast I made him eggs; I didn't have time this morning for something more sophisticated; like the salads I often make us in the morning.
I, personally, just had a bowl of my granola. Thickly rolled oats, honey gone nuts granola (which is rolled oats, honey, almonds and perhaps like two other things), pecans, pumpkin seeds (in their shells), flax seeds, sesame seeds, dried blueberries, and Brazil nuts with rice milk. It's easy to prepare once I've mixed; just pour in the bowl, add rice milk and a spoon. Paladin, however, just can't be happy with anything so simple; or with anything the least bit repetitive.
I've been having a recurring troubling thought. If I use whole birth control patches, instead of half patches, as I have been doing, there isn't any promise that I won't get pregnant. I never got pregnant on half patches before. Both times happened because I wasn't on any birth control and not being careful enough about my ovulation schedule. But a half patch may not be as effective for me as a whole patch even if I still experience some side effects; even if it does still put off my period as long as I have one on.
And what if I did get pregnant? Well, that's the thing. I'd have to go get a third abortion. I won't have a baby now. I won't. I'm finally getting my body into shape and I'm not letting anything come between me and being healthy. But...
What if I were to get pregnant and told Paladin that was my decision? How would he react?
It's plain nuts to be so fretful about an 'if' but... I've been pregnant twice in the past couple of years. So I may be a tad paranoid... But perhaps that paranoia is a good dose for prevention. But what can I do?
If I use whole patches my breasts will swell up painfully and stay that way all the time. It hurts like all hell to have them like that, and it makes me bloat up heavily before my period. And I think it messes with my sex drive. Also, I'd go through them a lot faster and would need to find a new source for them even sooner than I already will have to. And so, half patches it is.
*sighs*
Snow Leopard replies my letter on May 4th 2010 at 2:18pm;
Meow meow meow!! Sweetheart!!! You are in no-way pushing me away!! The reason I am so slow in replies is my lifestyle. It goes sooo fast. I do think about you constantly and constantly!!
You are completely right - I felt like a family too when I was with the two of you, and it also meant incredibly a lot to me to get a perspective from a woman that is not just like "oh he'll come back. Your love is forever."
I've also been sick and a bit grouchy at my cough that does not let me sleep. I went ice skating today anyways, and I think it is making me feel better. Your sweet words are also making me feel better :) Also yesterday, one of my neighbors heard my cough, so she gave a little bit of pretty strong Italian liquor. It was warming my throat. For a moment it stopped my cough, but that didn't last the whole night unfortunately.
I miss you lots lots lots too!
I can't come until august - again because of the work/lifestyle, but if you want I can try to fly you here? (We can try to split that half and half). Of course, Paladin would probably not be fond of that idea. Both of you are welcome here of course, but then Paladin might not have time off either. If he does then let me know, and I can clean out the office (2nd room) from cat hair thoroughly and not let them in until you get here and while you are here - it is a room that is closed from them on most days anyhow.
What do you think?
~ Snow Leopard
And once again meow because I am thinking of you as I am leaving work!
I'm going to meet my sister by the square, and we are going out to an Indian place for dinner. She is here in the city for two days for work, and we try to meet up when she is here.
MEOW MOE WMOEWMOEMWOE!!
Get up and do 17 jumps, smile and think of me :) :) :) - and make Paladin do 23 because he is behind on jumps :D
- Snow Leopard
I answer on May 5th 2010 at 8:44am;
17 Jumps?!?! *incredulous*
...
...
...
*obeys*
Whew. 18. Always have to do one more, just to prove that you can. :p
Well, actually, they were more like leaps than jumps. :p
Hope you have a good time with your sister (or are having a good time with her, or did have a good time with her.)
*hugs & kisses*
Nuria Asha
Snow Leopard,
You think of me constantly and constantly? Oh my! I am special! *cheers*
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was feeling the whole family vibe. :)
When I was hugging you and Paladin came up behind me and started hugging me I felt like I had all the love in the world. *smiles blissfully*
You're still sick, are you? That's no good. I need you healthy and jumping up and down. That's how you're meant to be. :)
Italian liqueur? I'm suspicious of alcohol really doing anything for your cold. May be soothing, but overall that sounds like it must be more harmful and than helpful. *wide eyed*
I miss you more!!! *winks and grabs your foot and gives you a massage*
I don't think we could afford to both fly out there, even if he did get some time off. But perhaps I could come see you for like a Monday - Friday sort of thing so that he wouldn't miss a weekend with me, which would likely make him very sad. Or perhaps I could leave on a Sunday night and come back on a Saturday morning so he could drop me off and pick me up, since the train is so expensive and such a bother.
Although flights from Sunday to Saturday are likely much more expensive than Monday to Friday. I'd have to look and see the difference in cost before making up my mind on that. But yeah, if you could go halfsies on that I'd love to come stay with you for a bit. Although, perhaps a Wednesday to a Wednesday is really the way to go; since Wednesday flights are like notoriously less than any other day, and because you probably do all the fun stuff on weekends. :)
Besides, since we're planning on moving to Where-You-Live it'd be good to look around a bit and scope out the area. And I need to make you fall for me before you forget about me and start going back with Your-Most-Recent-Ex or something. *claims Snow Leopard and marks her with permanent markers; Nuria's 2nd Master*
*laughs uproariously*
I'll be thinking of you, lovely.
What do you think of perhaps end of May? The 26th to the 2nd of June? That's a Wednesday to a Wednesday, by the by.
~ Your Personal Massaging Kitten
Lynx writes me on May 4th 2010 at 8:48pm;
Nuria,
That's probably one key difference between my new slave and other slaves I've known actually. She actually draws a line between 'teasing/playing/kinky sex' and 'real punishment'. She doesn't consider punishment in which she ends up getting pleasure to be true punishment. There is a 'distinct difference', she said, between her Master spanking her as part of play and spanking her when he wants her to hurt and be contrite about what she's done. To her, if she ends up receiving pleasure during the punishment, it sends mixed messages about how she should behave.
Well, it's lunchtime now, and I'd best get something to eat. Thanks for writing, Nuria, and I hope to hear from you again soon! :)
Your friend,
Lynx
I reply on May 5th 2010 at 9:03am;
Lynx,
I couldn't agree more with your slave. :)
Real punishment has to hurt enough for it to make me think twice about what I've done. And Paladin is learning that. For touching him with my hands cold the first couple of times he just told me to stop and laughed it off, but when I didn't stop, he finally spanked me until I begged him to stop. While I was very turned on, and look back at the punishment fondly, at the time, I was in a lot of pain, and I stopped touching him with my hands being cold and warmed them first under hot water.
~ Nuria
Wednesday, May 5th 2010 at 9:11am
Prairie Dog says; “It's surprising how on the one hand some environmentalists are often lambasted for ignoring population while other environmentalists are exonerated for being ruthless towards people. I don't think I could ever view war as a means of population control as a good thing. Even from a strictly resource-focused point of view, war tends to use up and destroy a lot of resources. It also, as Paladin points out, is likely to hit the poorest hardest - those people who are consuming the least and have the smallest environmental impact.”
That's entirely too true. However, it's also the poorest people whose lives are usually the most miserable and expendable. Now, of course, there are many people who have very little by choice and make a huge impact on the world and who are perfectly happy, but that's certainly not the majority of 'poor' people.
It's certainly not an ideal way to be 'rid' of people. However, it is the fastest and most effective way we have. A population expansion limit takes a long time to go into effect, whereas, killing a lot of people can happen very quickly. Now am I saying I'm for war? No, of course not. But if I had a Death Note; I'd use it.
Prairie Dog says; “The question of how many people is ideal is a difficult one. There's no such thing as a sustainable level of population and no sustainable level of consumption. Even combining the two isn't good enough, as so much depends on what is consumed, how it's produced and so-on. Seven billion people dependent on fusion power is very different to seven billion people dependent on fission power is very different to seven billion people dependent on coal power. If one billion is better than seven billion, why not one million?
“I don't know how to deal with these ethical questions, but I do think we can agree that population is a pressing issue that needs to be tackled, without having to figure out an ideal level for it.”
I suppose it then becomes a question of what sort of fuel is ideal for the amount of people we have, and then go from there to say what the limit is with the ideal fuel, and limit the population growth point there.
Prairie Dog says; “One view of the industrial age is that it consists of three revolutions in the source of power. The first was the change from organic power (animals, wood and people) to coal power. Next came the switch from coal power to oil, that allowed much smaller and more efficient power plants, including the internal combustion engine. After that came electricity, allowing power to be centrally generated and distributed to even very small users.”
I've never heard it explained quite like that before; but I like that explanation a lot. It ought to be in a text book.
Prairie Dog says; “That electricity was still fundamentally based on fossil fuels though - the nuclear age never really arrived. Now we're running out of oil and having problems with coal (and gas) before having a new energy source ready to take their place. We may yet see a nuclear age, though sadly with fission rather than the never-quite-feasible fusion.”
Perhaps I ought to look up the difference between fission and fusion.
Prairie Dog says; “The really big question is how quickly the oil will run down. It's not a case of it suddenly stopping, more a case of how quickly we will have to adjust to using less of it and paying a much higher price for it. But no-one has much idea how much oil there is, and neither the oil companies or the big oil-producing nations are very helpful on the subject.”
There likely will continue to be more and more oil discovered for a very long time, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be hauling-ass to find a new power source. I'm in favor of building more windmills and solar panels like crazy.