Chakras & Workouts
Saturday, December 19th 2009 at 11:49am
Lynx writes me December 19th 2009 at 6:42am;
Hi Nuria, Sorry I didn't manage to get a reply to you yesterday. It was the last day of work before my holidays, and I was rushing to get everything settled before my departure. Plus, I finally got my Guild Wars account unlocked last night, and I spent much of the evening picking through the debris and assessing the damage. It's even worse than I originally imagined; the hackers basically made off with all of my gold, all of my crafting materials, all of my dyes, and even all of the monster trophies I had in my pack. (That really surprised me. Those trophies are practically worthless except to collectors like me!) They also ruined a good amount of my armours when they tried removing several expensive runes from them. They even stole my PACKS themselves! Needless to say, I'm not in a good mood right now. It was made worse by an argument between me and my ex in Guild Wars. I won't go into any details since I'd rather keep them between myself and her, but I think it only served to highlight just how different the two of us are as people. Sometimes it's like she's a completely different person to the woman I remember... *sad smile* "That perfect comfortability of being able to say anything and be accepted and love despite whatever it may be." That's exactly it. :) To know that you can be your absolute true self around this other person. To bare your soul to them. To declare your most intimate thoughts, your most kinky desires, your most shameful mistakes, and to know that they'll still love and accept you no matter what. And of course, knowing that you can do exactly the same for your beloved. The phrase "two hearts beating as one" is perhaps the most apt I could apply to that situation. "Although, then, like now, I put a tad more emphasis on sex than need be. It's really about the love, and always is, but it's hard to accept love when it doesn't come with lust. It's hard to recognize it and appreciate it properly when lust isn't in the picture. So hard to do so in fact, that many (if not most) relationships end when the lust falls away. Although, there are many ways to keep that going, and many ways to strengthen a relationship besides kinky sex. But initially, if there is no attraction, it's hard to fall in love in the first place." Oh yes, I completely agree that physical attraction is a crucial part of being in love. As we discussed in our last letter, once love blossoms, you will likely see your partner as beautiful and sexy no matter what, but there nevertheless remains certain traits, certain features that will appeal to us, and it is these traits that we look for in a person when judging their suitability as a mate. To me, sex is an integral part of love. As I mentioned above, to me, love is all about that sense of intimacy, of togetherness. A unity of spirit. And few things make that unity even more wonderful and incredible than the pleasure of being able to unite one's bodies as well. It's like the difference between masturbation and sex. Both are pleasurable, but masturbation can never come close to the joy and feeling of... 'satiation' that I experience when I've just given my beloved my hot, liquid love, and of holding her sweaty, trembling body to me as our heart-rates slowly return to normal. To be honest, I think BDSM and other kinks are more an extension of certain parts of our personality creeping into the way we express our love, rather than being a part of love itself. "And tanning is horrible for the skin and overtime gives it a leathery look, and dries out the skin, and it just looks... gross." You don't know how glad I am to hear a woman say that! Seriously, girls! Tans are the body's reaction and defense to a skin injury! The body is trying to darken your skin because it's been partially cooked by the sun. And you think that's a good thing?? *rolls his eyes* "Perhaps it's because black features are very harsh, and such harsh features seem very masculine, and I like men to look like men and women to look like women as much as possible. Sometimes a man with a feminine feature or two is hot, but I never find a woman who looks anything like a man to be attractive." I think you're definitely right about that. I find slender, oval-shaped faces on women to be the epitome of the 'feminine' look. I know what you mean about some women having such broad, strong jaws (as well as shoulders and arms) that they look more like a man than a woman. (Sadly, a lot of athletic women tend to develop this look if they pursue their career with any level of dedication, especially in sports that emphasis a lot of upper body strength like swimming and tennis.) "And I think the same is true for Austrian men and women, but I can't be too sure of that, having never met an Australian either." Well, I would say that Australians, because we're such a diverse, multi-cultural society with a lot of immigrants, tend to run the gamut as far as body shapes are concerned. You'll find representatives of all body shapes and types among us. :) "Perhaps you were a Native American in that lifetime?" ... It's almost scary that you should mention that, because that was exactly the same thought I was having when I first saw that image. I couldn't see my skin colour too clearly, although I knew that I wasn't a Caucasian, and I remember having a hawkish nose and possibly a feather or two worn in my hair. The main focus of the scene was definitely on the trees and surroundings, rather than myself. "Anunaki" Interesting... I'll see about looking up Joan Grant and Sitchin's work sometime. But what you've described actually parallels my beliefs about the old 'gods' quite closely. Namely, that there were indeed 'gods' that walked the Earth at one point in Earth's history. (And who knows? Perhaps they're still here, or are still watching us from afar.) However, they are far from being true gods. Perhaps they were an technologically advanced alien race (my personal belief), or perhaps they were simply Messiahs, a borrowed term I use to give to certain humans who are open and understanding of the Divine to a point where they have actually unlocked their own divine potential. I have never met a Messiah in my lifetime, but when you hear of people performing miracles, whether in the ancient world like Jesus, or more contemporary figures like Sai Baba, these people are Messiahs. But in any case, I believe that the Anunaki came to Earth many thousands of years ago, where they found our distant ancestors. Perhaps they deliberately tinkered with our DNA to allow us to evolve into our modern selves, or perhaps we already had the potential within us. In any event, the Anunaki taught us and guided us onto the road to civilization. They gave us agriculture, writing, mathematics and various other higher disciplines. I don't know whether they demanded that we worship them as gods, or whether us humans simply fell into that role by instinct, but they were the beings whom we eventually came to know as Gods. Why they no longer take an active role in our modern society is unknown to me. Perhaps they simply got tired of us a long time ago and left. Perhaps they never truly wanted to be our gods and left to watch from a distance once we became advanced enough to govern our own affairs. Or perhaps they and their own race are simply dead; from time, from some cataclysmic event back on their own home world/galaxy, or any number of reasons the imagination can conjure up. Personally though, I like to think that they're still out there, watching us, as evidenced by the occasional sighting of UFOs and other strange scientific anomalies. Maybe one day, when we finally uncover the technology necessary to travel to distant parts of the Universe, we'll find them again. "And the fucked up part is that “sinful” acts are so damn arousing." That they are. *chuckles* Which is why I consider it essential to find somebody who shares my own beliefs on sex and sexuality. I would be forced to seek satisfaction for my desires elsewhere if my wife did not, and infidelity is not something that I ever want to inflict on somebody that I love. "I would bet that many people who are born into a Buddhist family and go on to be a monk are intending for that to be their last lifetime as a human." Hmm, not always necessarily. I highly recommend watching a movie called "Samsara" if you haven't already. It's quite a fascinating (and erotic) movie about a former Buddhist monk who, after meeting a woman who he's intensely sexually attracted to, renounces his religion and goes back to the mundane world (Samsara) to marry this woman and settle down with her. While on the surface the movie seems to be about the conflict between religion and man's baser desires, the ultimate message I came away from the movie was that the quest for Enlightenment is not as simple as it seems, and there are lessons to be learnt from every walk of life. "I think you would find yourself quite at home in any of the large cities in the US. I wouldn't personally recommend my city itself though. I would say somewhere in California would probably suit you best. It's easily the most open-minded state. But then again, you want evergreens, so perhaps Oregon or Washington would do you better. It's just that you're most likely to find the perfect women in a large city. So perhaps you should start in California so you can find her, and then move somewhere rural surrounded by evergreens with her."
Somewhere where the girls are more open-minded would definitely suit me better. *chuckles* I do tend to find northern US accents more pleasing to the ear too, so I'll take your advice to heart while looking. :) Out of curiosity though, why would you not recommend your home city? Your friend, Lynx
I reply Lynx on December 19th 2009 at 11:51am;
Lynx,
It sort-of makes me glad that I've canceled my World of Warcraft account. I wouldn't want to invest years into it only to get hacked and loose everything I had worked for. I'm glad I can give everything away to my guild.
“I'm not in a good mood right now. It was made worse by an argument between me and my ex in Guild Wars.”
I'm not sure if I mentioned to you that Porcupine sent me an Instant Messenger about a week ago now I think. And he pretty much was being an ass hole, and I said some bitter things back, and he brought up shit that we had pretty much promised to never talk about again, and I was so pissed at him for bringing it up, and worse, making it sound like he was the victim in a situation that put me in the lowest point of my entire life, and I just told him to never contact me ever again and signed off. It hurt, but it's for the best in my case.
“Once love blossoms, you will likely see your partner as beautiful and sexy no matter what, but there nevertheless remains certain traits, certain features that will appeal to us, and it is these traits that we look for in a person when judging their suitability as a mate.”
What's interesting is the first thing I look for a very tiny body. Generally guys between 5'6 and 5'10 who are exceptionally small in their bone structure, preferably with well defined muscles. As I recently explained to Paladin, I actually am aroused by the lines in between muscles, not the size of the muscles themselves. Meaning that guys with a lot of strength who still have a layer of fat covering their upper bodies and upper arms... look disgusting when undressed to my eyes; just a lot of bulk. The more lines, the sexier. Even the lines of protruding bones as I mentioned before... Well sculpted shoulders combined with large collar bones drives me nuts. Aren't those some odd traits for me to have my eyes on!
“To me, sex is an integral part of love. As I mentioned above, to me, love is all about that sense of intimacy, of togetherness. A unity of spirit.”
I would assume that you know of the different chakras. The red chakra is at the base of the spine, or rather, it is your sex. That base chakra is the most primitive energy, and is connected (almost by sheer force) to someone when having sex with them. For someone who has never been in love, that connection feels like the most divine connection possible. The different levels of love could easily be compared to the different chakras. (The different levels of anything can be put to the chakra levels; the degrees of recovery after heartache; the degrees of brain function; the level of life satisfaction; of spiritual evolution; etc.)
Above the red chakra is the orange chakra, essentially in the stomach; the chakra of feeling and emotion. Connection at this level can be obsessive; sort of like how a girl often feels after she loses a virginity to a guy. During the sex she connects with him slightly above the animal level, and grows a deep attachment that may or may not be considered a form of love.
Above that is the yellow chakra, of the solar plexus; the power core of the body and a source of intellect and logic. This is where many of today's intelligent young people get stuck. This level of evolution is far beyond one-night stands and and infatuation, but it is still short of wisdom and the sort of connection that can last a lifetime. Connection at this level can lead to six months to a year of really good sex that is much more satisfying than connection of the root or spleen chakras.
Above the yellow chakra is the green chakra; the energy of the heart. This is the center of love. Connection on this level is a true and divine experience; although not as evolved as possible, it is still a great accomplishment to reach, and many (maybe even most people) never reach it. Although I also believe that the connection you have with any individual is constantly in flux; so perhaps I should say that most people never reach it for any great length of time. Connection at this level will give you downright amazing sex. The sort where you feel like every part of your body has been satiated, satisfied, and harmonized with your lover. If the two people are compatible enough, a connection at that level can last a lifetime, but is still susceptible to breakup at about two years. Obviously a serious lack of basic compatibility or external sources can cause a divide earlier.
Above the heart chakra is the throat chakra; the blue chakra. This energy is directly connected to the ability to express oneself, the ability to trust, the ability to be loyal and to be organized in one's thoughts, actions, and speech. This one is obviously one that is very rarely reached. Poor communication is everywhere, and propaganda and lying in general are a malicious spread of negative force that fight against reaching the state of the blue chakra. To connect with someone at this level, and to have sex with them and remain connected instead of shrinking entirely into your red chakra (which some people do - I've actually felt it happen just as sex itself begins)... Is more than one should ever really expect, but something to most certainly be aimed for. When you say that sex has no appeal for you outside of a loving relationship, I suspect it's because you've experienced sex at this level on enough occasions to know how completely perfect it feels.
Above the blue chakra is the indigo chakra; of the brow. The energy there is of intuition, and the ability to truly see what is really before you unclouded by your own subjective inclinations. The indigo mindset is free from negative mindsets because it is self-aware, and can release repressed memories, addictions, malicious habits and find the best in oneself and expand it. Knowledge of oneself is key in a relationship. One should always be learning just as much about oneself as one is about their partner. When you know yourself, and can communicate it to your partner, can see them for who they are, can feel them, love them, and connect with them right on down to your red root of animal attraction - then you can experience a truly divine sex... Which I doubt I have ever had; perhaps once or twice.
And at the very top, above your head is the violet chakra. There is no sex at this level of awareness, because there is no longer a body. One can however connect with someone on this level in a deep meditation if the other chakras are already in harmony. If one can connect on this level, then that is the place where sex is no longer relevant to a relationship. One's energy would be so perfectly entangled with their partner that there is no doubt in the other person's love, there is no waver in the stream of affection - a perfect link of energies. I can not deny the beauty of such a love, and I can not belittle the significance of having such an amazing connection with someone either; but I can say that I'm not about to go celibate in search of it.
With my first love I believe we spent the majority of our relationship in the second chakra (orange), the obsession, the feelings, the sensations. Although, we connected on a the heart chakra (green) enough to be truly connected. Enough that when he broke up with me, he shattered my view of the world and left me feeling entirely empty from the loss of the connection with him. Even to this day he and I are very close. Our compatibility is very low, and yet our connection in that way remains strong and well; making it so that sex to this day is still far better than with a random person even if I find such a random person more attractive.
With my second love I think we rarely hit so high as the heart chakra. While there was a form of love between us, we were very much stuck in very low and very petty mindsets. What's interesting is that one of the aliments associated with blockages of the solar plexus is digestive problems, and during that period of my life I developed extremely severe digestive issues, as well as varying degrees of all of the other issues associated with a malfunctioning yellow energy.
With my third love I think we surpassed on a few occasions the heart chakra; for a time anyway. It wasn't something he could sustain. He himself is struggling with his first two chakras - drug addictions, and basic health. He is far, far from self awareness and true love, trust and loyalty to another. But I felt that way for him, and on occasion I could see a better him emerge from his harsh exterior, and for a time we would exist in a realm only for him and I... Perhaps I experienced things a bit more intensely than he did; I'm not sure. But he had too much influence from people stuck trying to achieve an orange awareness, if they were still not stuck in their base chakra.
(Funny how I can explain my life story through people's chakras. I didn't realize that I could do that until now.)
For myself, I think I am working on mastering the heart the chakra, and an avid apprentice of the throat chakra. Although I know I am far from true sight that is within the brow chakra, despite the outward appearance of having mastered communication and love.
When people talk about a great moment of clarity, I believe that in that moment, they were in their indigo (or possibly even violet) chakra. I've had a few of those moments, although never during sex. That would be quite intense, although likely too cerebral to allow orgasm.
“To be honest, I think BDSM and other kinks are more an extension of certain parts of our personality creeping into the way we express our love, rather than being a part of love itself.”
Oh, totally. My mother pointed out to me that perhaps if someone wants to be treated like a puppy during sex (literally playing fetch and being called a 'good dog') then it's likely that the opposite sex parent paid more attention to the family dog than to the child. When I thought about that, it made perfect sense. Much of our kinks come from how we felt about the opposite sex parent growing up. If we felt we couldn't get enough love from that parent, we are very likely to become needy and attention hungry (much as I am.)
On the subject of tanning; I'm surprised to hear you say “cooked” because most people are not aware that the sun is actually cooking the skin. That's why the skin starts to become leathery; it's like chicken skin broiling so that it'll become crispy. Do we want our skin to resemble the uncooked chicken more or the cooked chicken more? (Easy choice her folks.) Perhaps the process it slightly masochistic, and perhaps that's why so many find it addictive.
“I know what you mean about some women having such broad, strong jaws (as well as shoulders and arms) that they look more like a man than a woman.”
There is most certainly a degree of development that I find entirely unattractive, but generally I find a woman with sculpted arms sexy. Again it comes back to having just enough muscles to have lines between the muscles, whereas having large muscles in and of themselves isn't attractive to me in the least.
“... It's almost scary that you should mention that, because that was exactly the same thought I was having when I first saw that image. I couldn't see my skin colour too clearly, although I knew that I wasn't a Caucasian, and I remember having a hawkish nose and possibly a feather or two worn in my hair. The main focus of the scene was definitely on the trees and surroundings, rather than myself.”
Perhaps I should tell you that my mother and I are both tarot card readers and that I've been in meditation circles all of my life and meditate independently as well. I'm a certified Reiki healer, and have been to a number of physic conventions as well as worked one once.
To my credit, I once was able to raise a woman's blood platelet count (a woman who has trouble developing her platelets in her blood properly - what allows her blood to coagulate and therefore for her not to bleed to death should she be cut) to far, far, far beyond the normal human being count. She was testing a week prior to my meditation on her and had literally a platelet count under ten thousand (when normal is 150 thousand to 400 thousand) and was checked a few days after and miraculously, despite a disorder that makes it so that her body doesn't know it should produce platelets, she had over 500 thousand. I have no doubt that I was the cause because I spent an hour meditating on telling each and every part of her body to produce platelets, convincing every cell that there was a desperate need for more of them (literally starting out in her toe.)
“Perhaps they were an technologically advanced alien race (my personal belief), or perhaps they were simply Messiahs, a borrowed term I use to give to certain humans who are open and understanding of the Divine to a point where they have actually unlocked their own divine potential.”
I used to believe that the Anunaki were just a technologically advanced race of humans much more evolved than ourselves. They are biologically advanced in particular - afterall, we have yet to be able to clone correctly. I believe that the major reason the Anunaki could create us was not the science itself, but that they were somehow able to channel souls into their lab-made creations. Without a soul, the science made vessel is like a robot. It needs a computer to control it's bio-body even though it's not in metal and wire skin. For an organism to function without programming, it requires a soul. With that in mind, I'm quite positive that they were at least much more highly spiritually aware than were are.
Messiahs I reserve for those who are enlightened to the degree of achieving a violet chakra. They are beyond our temptations, and had no need to reincarnate here, but came only to deliver a message; not for the advancement of their own soul.
“I don't know whether they demanded that we worship them as gods, or whether us humans simply fell into that role by instinct, but they were the beings whom we eventually came to know as Gods.”
Some of them, such as Yahweh, we even so egotistical as to tell us to worship them and only them. Creating this misguided idea of one great god. Yahweh was in communication with Moses, and so formed his own group of people.
Gods became the translation because we had a word of great esteem and honor for them. They had abilities that were like magic to us, and they had a language and writing more complex than that which they taught us. They could take life, and (according to records) could bring it back. In comparison, we were just animals; so of course we called them gods. I don't believe that they were each evolved spirits, but I do believe that they had a great wealth of technology in three trees: Biology, Crystal and Spirit. Whereas we are evolved in digital technology, which I don't believe the Anunaki had at all. Because they had spaceships, they had no need for land vehicles likes we do, and because there were so few of them and because they couldn't breed nearly as quickly as we can, and live a much greater length of time they also did not have factories or mass production.
“Why they no longer take an active role in our modern society is unknown to me. Perhaps they simply got tired of us a long time ago and left.”
They bred with us until they became one with us. Because we were created from the DNA of the Anunaki crossed with that of the apes, we were originally half them, and half ape. Over the thousands of years of inbreeding with us, we have become (more or less) three quarters of what they were, and only one quarter ape. Now, bare in mind that we even share some DNA with plants, so just because we share 99% of our DNA with apes, doesn't mean we are not 75% Anunaki and 25% ape.
“I consider it essential to find somebody who shares my own beliefs on sex and sexuality. I would be forced to seek satisfaction for my desires elsewhere if my wife did not, and infidelity is not something that I ever want to inflict on somebody that I love.”
Indeed! Except that infidelity is only satisfying in two ways: in spiting the one you have a connection with, and having a base-level connection with the other person. I find having sex with someone who is not your partner - knowing your partner would be very hurt - to be very difficult and not satisfying. It leaves pangs of guilt... And trying to remove the guilt is like trying to remove a bullet from one's own chest. And yet, when the sexual fire is lit, and you know you can't find release in your partner - and someone sexy is at hand... Saying no is also much like removing a bullet, although perhaps more like slowly cutting oneself than it is like bullet removal... (I love analogies.)
“While on the surface the movie seems to be about the conflict between religion and man's baser desires, the ultimate message I came away from the movie was that the quest for Enlightenment is not as simple as it seems, and there are lessons to be learnt from every walk of life.”
Then he must have still had more to learn from being in love with a woman. If he had not needed to learn more from being in love with a woman, I'm sure he would have been content to stay a monk and achieve enlightenment. In his case, perhaps he was not born into that society to achieve his final enlightenment at all, but rather to realize that is was not the path for him.
Someone whom I refer to as Ghost said to me (in response to my question of where to go in my life); “You can return to where you have been and there will be more for you to learn. Or you can move forward and leave everything behind and you will find new doors waiting for you.” In other words, even once we are ready to move forward, we may still regress in order to have new realizations.
I wouldn't recommend my home as a good place to find a woman because this city is in many ways a rotted shell. Then again, there are many esoteric circles here, as well as a very open minded culture. The issue at heart though is that this city is very much centered around pot. It's a very pot-headed city and it's hard to avoid the entire overwhelming population of pot-heads. The artistic element of culture is alive and well here, and yet... It's hard to tell anybody it's a good place to live with a clear conscience. Perhaps the best way to describe it would be thus;
It takes a lot of cunning, determination, open mindedness, acceptance, and patience to be happy in this city. Opportunities are rare and hard to come by, and like minded people are not to be found around every corner because the city is very diverse, so finding a niche to fit in to is a very active and on-your-feet job. The party mindset is large, so opposing that takes dignity and complete fearlessness of social alienation. Perhaps much of that is true anywhere though.
~Nuria Asha
Saturday, December 19th 2009 at 4:34pm
My mind seems to be caught in an endless stream of fantasy for Paladin. I think of how wonderful it would be to be his pet, his girlfriend, his wife... I would have never thought it was possible to feel this way towards someone I had never touched. To love someone whose cock I have not felt pulse inside me... 'Tis truly quite phenomenal. I'm baffled by it each morning when I wake up and am bombarded by images of him and the sound of his voice ringing through my ears and mind like a great gong reverberating.
I am... Captivated. Although my inspiration seems rather fixated (as it always is - blasted inspiration being so stubborn and perverse). I can think of nothing but improving myself for him, and it seems that I am most lacking in the area of my body's form. And so I am breathless several times every other day as I return the mat again and again.
At first my working out for him was sporadic, as was the inspiration and motivation to do so. We were both often taking breaks as we talked to work out - which had much to do with talking all through the night which we've sort-of been curtailing. But after Squirrel linked me to a site called one-hundred-push-ups, my work outs became much more structured and purposeful. The basic concept in the hundred-push-up program is to work out three times a week (which I've adjusted to every other day to suit me; I want to accelerate my progress and make it feel more consistent), and that each work out has five reps. The tables change for each work out, but with each of them the last rep is the most you can do, and the other four are a set amount, generally the second one being higher than the first, third and fourth.
The program starts you on a certain chart at a certain difficulty depending on how many you can do on your initial exhaustion test. Because I still can't perform a complete proper push up (straight-body from heal to head, lowering one-self completely straight-bodied from the floor to full arm extension), I took the site's suggestion of doing them from my knees. By lowering myself all the way down with my face to the mat each time, I found that I could only do six. I was shocked for it to be that low from my knees.
And now, a mere ten days later I already did seventeen in the last rep. It really, really, really works! Which makes me very excited. So now I'm thinking that's how I want to structure my work outs from here on out. Every other day. I've also been thinking perhaps I should schedule myself so that in the same time I would be working out on the alter days I take a bath. Only problem with that theory is it's most easy to convince myself take a bath after working out, and it's also the best time to take a bath since your pores have just been loosened up by a bit of fresh sweat.
Just a random complaint about the English language; why the heal isn't “sweat” spelled “swet.” It really ought to be. An 'e' before an 'a' implies a long 'e' and if it were a long 'e' then it would be the same as sweet. So, yeah. What the hell.