A Phone Call With Leopardus
Tuesday, October 4th 2016
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I told Paladin about the spiders on Tuesday morning, and my worry that Hibiscus wouldn't be happy about my choice to visit Metheus.
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"I would be sad if your relationship with Metheus somehow hurt Hibiscus, even if it didn't hurt me directly," Paladin said. Hearing Paladin's words warmed my heart. He loves his metamour, I thought, smiling.
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A while later, still in my bed beside Paladin, I felt a throbbing begin in my right breast - a shooting pain through the familiar lump. Once I had worried that I had breast cancer. Now I knew I just had a lymph system that didn't drain effectively. Now I knew that breast cancer and ineffective lymph drainage were practically the same thing.
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"My breasts hurt," I commented to Paladin.
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He made a pained and sad "oh" noise. "I'm sorry," he said. "My hands hurt." He grimaced. "And my shoulders, and my back." He took a deep remorseful breath and added, "I worked on my back for over two hours last night. I used the wiggle machine and the massage pillow, and then went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night so stiff that it was as if I hadn't done any work on myself at all."
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It was my turn to make an empathetic whine. "I'm sorry babe," I said. "It sounds like all the stuff you massaged out settled back in. Perhaps working on your back would be more effective if it preceded exercise and drinking a lot of water."
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"I wish Hibiscus was here," Paladin said. "He would be able to massage you effectively."
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I smiled sadly. He was not. Although he'd be back in less than seven days now.
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. . .
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That evening, talking with Leopardus on the phone (for the first time ever), he told me he experienced jealousy often as a "fear of being made obsolete." He related to my fear of having a partner of mine give money to another partner. "We create our agreement about money based on how much each of us wants to put into the relationship each month," Leopardus explained, "And then we pool that money together and then divide it up on how much we want to spend on food versus other things we want to do together."
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"It feels good to hear you talk about your arrangements," I said. "People don't talk about this stuff enough. I hardly ever hear about people's romantic arrangements, and so it's like I have to invent all of my own from scratch."
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"I'm sure you're good at it," Leopardus said. "As a game designer, I'm sure you're also a good relationship-arrangement designer."
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I chuckled. I told him of my remarkable experience with Eagle, which felt a bit like gossiping since Leopardus and Eagle were friends. Still, Leopardus seemed genuinely happy for me.
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"I feel that sex isn't worth it without an open heart," he said. "But I'm not opposed to sex without attaching extra arrangements to it. I enjoy a simple relationship that doesn't include living together, sharing finances, or long-term commitment. But there has to be an open heart. That's what makes it."
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I smiled. "Indeed," I said. I should have chosen you as my lover a couple years back when I was still living in Snowland, I thought. I invited him whole-heartedly to visit me at Silverstag Eco Hamlet.
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( Click here for yesterday's post. And, click here for the post about Saturday night with Eagle.)