Marrying Hibiscus . . . Meaning?

Jan 14, 2016 23:45


"So - wedding invitations," I had said to Hibiscus, during one of our last conversations before he went overseas.
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"It seems that you're bringing this up as a way to solidify your commitment to me because you're afraid," he said.
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When I told Paladin about the exchange later, Paladin said, "That is what all weddings are about -- solidifying one's ( Read more... )

brenda, chad, silverstag eco hamlet, hibiscus, paladin

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mother2012 February 16 2016, 18:29:32 UTC
Assuming that you go through with Ceremony (and I think you may be pushing him a little), this is my primary thought:

Whereas you are already in a committed relationship,
Whereas you and Paladin are a Primary Relationship,
Whereas you and Paladin are both truly in love with each other and ...
. Not to belittle your relationship with Hibiscus, but from what I have seen, heard, read, this relationship is still 'in lust' rather than 'in love'. This is not a bad thing. Nearly all (romantic) love starts out as lust.

Therefore > I think you should view this ceremony as 'formally adding Hibiscus to the existing marriage', rather than 'a second marriage for Nuria.'

For food, I think you should do as you always have -- make it a potluck.

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nuria_asha February 16 2016, 23:04:03 UTC
Well, you're right I've pushed a little, but he honestly was too busy to respond, mostly because he read it and felt overwhelmed and couldn't give a reply justice. We ended up having a three-hour discussion about my proposed vows. He started by asking, "So these are from you to me, but are mine to you expected to be the same?" And there was much discussion about each and every point ( ... )

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mother2012 February 17 2016, 20:46:48 UTC
Toast - I can identify with that one!

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nuria_asha March 2 2016, 17:36:14 UTC
Yes. Although his mother is unwilling to even try to compromise or find a way to make it work for her and I to be in the same building together. We'll see how *that* turns out over time! Heh!

Which reminds me that I have a hand-written reply letter from her now which I need to respond to.

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