An Epic Quest to Find True Love Part 4
Title: An Epic Quest to Find True Love
Pairing: MinKyu
Minor Pairings: YeWook, EunHae, ninja! HanChul, even more ninja! KangTeuk
Part: 4
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, humor
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them
Warnings: cheesy pick up lines
Summary: Sungmin is banished from the land of Aegyo until he has found his one true love. He instead encounters a cowboy-esque stablehand, a Pokemon trainer, and aspiring campfire singers among others. And this is just the beginning.
Poor Eunhyuk learned the hard way to stay away from the newcomers. Upon introducing himself to the precog, he spontaneously developed wicked rashes…where the sun don’t shine. When he attempted to get a spider off Yesung’s back, his pants combusted (luckily, Sungmin was on the volunteer fire squad back home and put it out by shoving a screaming Eunhyuk into a nearby stream). And most tragically, after he hugged the turtle lover, he mysteriously acquired a silver touch for several days. Everything he touched, including his food, turned to silver.
“Finally!” exclaimed Eunhyuk, poking a tree experimentally. “It’s not turning into silver! Do you think maybe it was something I ate that caused that?”
Kyuhyun ignored Eunhyuk. “I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you home to my domain,” he said to Sungmin.
“I don’t think we’re going to go home anytime soon,” Sungmin replied thoughtfully. “But I would be happy to visit your house if you want me to. I thought you lived in the palace though…”
Kyuhyun felt an incredible urge to smack his own forehead. So he smacked Eunhyuk’s.
“Hey, what was that for?” complained Eunhyuk, rubbing his red forehead.
Yesung slung a friendly arm over Eunhyuk’s shoulder and rubbed his philtrum. “Don’t worry, things will get better for you,” he said reassuringly.
“Hyung,” Ryeowook said, smiling cutely at Eunhyuk. He held up a bowl filled to the top with delicious smelling food. “Hyung, I thought you would be hungry after starving for three days, so I cooked you some special food.”
Eunhyuk’s eyes widened and he went for the food, shoveling it into his mouth faster than humanly possible. “Thanks, Ryeowook,” he mumbled through a mouthful.
“No problem,” said Ryeowook sweetly.
“Aw, you’re so caring Wookie!” cried Yesung, enveloping the smaller man into a huge bear hug. Ryeowook flushed prettily and returned the embrace.
Kyuhyun caught Sungmin staring at the magical pair. “Sungmin?” he asked hesitantly.
Sungmin raised an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to tell me I have no chance, you don’t need to. I can see those two blind idiots are in love.”
Kyuhyun nodded. “It’s alright,” he said as comfortingly as he could. “You’ll find someone else. Someone who will stand by you through everything.” He paused slightly. “So, let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge.”
Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun and the stable boy squirmed under his gaze. He opened his mouth as though he was about to say something.
“I feel sick,” Eunhyuk groaned. The other four members of the party turned to stare at him. He did indeed look paler than usual.
“You look awful,” Yesung offered helpfully. Eunhyuk turned around and promptly threw up the contents of his stomach. Yesung made a face. “Your breath probably smells now too.”
Kyuhyun glanced over at Ryeowook, whose unwavering sweet smile now had a hint of satisfaction. “What did you put in his food?” he hissed.
Ryeowook shrugged noncommittally. “Nothing that would kill him,” he replied dismissively.
Luckily, Sungmin was knowledgeable in the ways of medicinal plants and Eunhyuk was soon snoring on the floor, well on his way to recovery.
“What do we do now?” asked Kyuhyun, glumly poking Eunhyuk with a sharp stick. “We can’t continue traveling with this idiot being dead weight.”
“Let’s sing campfire songs,” Yesung suggested enthusiastically.
“That’s a great idea!” Ryeowook gushed.
“We don’t even have a campfire,” snapped Kyuhyun. He wilted at the pointed look Ryeowook shot him. “Um, what I meant was, how would we go about singing around a fire when there’s no fire to sing around?”
Ryeowook handed Kyuhyun two sticks. “If you rub them together really fast, it will start a fire,” he suggested, voice laced with a hint of malice that only Kyuhyun caught.
Kyuhyun squatted down and began rubbing the sticks together, fearful of Ryeowook’s wrath. “Nothing is happening,” he complained. “Why weren’t any of us in the Boy Scouts?”
Sungmin raised his hand. “I was.” The other three stared at him. He took the sticks from Kyuhyun and within seconds, there was a merrily blazing fire.
“I thought Boy Scouts only sold cookies,” said Kyuhyun in awe.
“That’s Girl Scouts,” Yesung corrected him. “Boy Scouts are the ones that help old ladies cross the street.”
“We learn other stuff too,” said Sungmin defensively, settling himself beside the fire.
“Like?” Yesung prodded.
Sungmin remained silent for a moment. “Shall we sing campfire songs now?” he finally said.
“Yes!” cried Yesung, successfully distracted. “What should we sing?”
“‘Seven Years of Love’,” Kyuhyun said immediately.
Ryeowook made a face. “That’s so depressing!” He turned to Yesung. “How about ‘When Falling In Love with a Friend’?”
“Let’s all hold hands and sing ‘Hallelujah’,” suggested an unfamiliar voice.
“‘Hallelujah’ is a good song,” agreed Yesung, evidently not noticing the voice was not recognizable. “You only need to say one word over and over again.”
Kyuhyun could care less about the song choice or even the fact that there was a person approaching their little clearing, so intent he was on one idea. “Holding hands is a good idea.” He eyed Sungmin’s hand, his own creeping towards it.
“Um, excuse me?”
The four stared at the tall man that was walking across the river towards them. He had on a long brown robe and a cross on an elongated chain around his neck. He gave them a dimpled smile.
“Why is he walking on water? Is he Jesus?” Ryeowook wondered out loud.
“Shisus, actually,” the man corrected as he reached the shore. “But you can call me Siwon. Or Father.” He gave them another dimpled smile.
“So you’re a priest,” commented Yesung.
“Or Darth Vader,” muttered Kyuhyun.
“Kyuhyun?”
Kyuhyun turned to Sungmin. “Yes, hyung?”
Sungmin looked down pointedly at their intertwined hands. “Why are you holding my hand?”
Kyuhyun reddened, but did not let go. “The priest said to hold hands. It would be sacrireligious to disobey.” He rubbed Sungmin’s hand between his hands. “Hyung, your hands are so cold! But do you know what that means?”
“That I’m a cold person?” asked Sungmin, a small mirthless smile in place as he echoed what so many people have told him.
“No. It means you have more warmth in your heart,” said Kyuhyun, the picture of complete seriousness.
The corners of Sungmin’s lips twitched. “You’re so cheesy.”
There was a small cough and the pair was broken out of their little world. The priest, Siwon, was still smiling a smile that displayed his straight, white teeth.
“Why are you still smiling and not saying anything?” asked Yesung, point blank.
The smile did not waver. “People tell me I’m handsome, especially when I smile.” The priest turned his face to the left, then to the right so they had a full view of his profile. “Do you think I look handsome?”
“Very,” agreed Yesung, reaching out to touch the priest’s philtrum. Siwon looked startled, but pleased. Ryeowook made a sound akin to the feral growl of a beast before it pounced on its hapless target.
Kyuhyun grabbed the magic user’s shoulder before he could work his mojo. “You can’t hex a priest,” Kyuhyun softly reminded him. “It’s bad karma.” Ryeowook grumbled, but sat back, eyes shooting bullets at Siwon.
“I’ve been on the trail of a vampire for a while now, but I lost him,” Siwon explained, waving his hands around vaguely.
“It’s no wonder,” muttered Kyuhyun, eyeing the long, flowing priestly garb. “How does he move in that potato sack?”
“He’s very dangerous!” Siwon exclaimed. He grabbed Ryeowook’s shirt front, shaking the much smaller man like a bottle of ketchup with only one drop left. “He’s terribly charming and will lure you in before he jumps on you and sucks all your blood!”
“If he jumps on me, I’ll do this,” muttered Ryeowook through clattering teeth. He promptly blasted Siwon across the clearing.
“Good defense,” Siwon’s muffled voice came from the bush he landed in.
“Ryeowook,” Yesung said disapprovingly.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened to the max, tears welling up in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, hyung. I-I didn’t mean to do that. It was an accident.” He bit back a sob.
Yesung hugged Ryeowook tightly. “I know you didn’t. You would never do something like that on purpose.”
“What a ham,” Kyuhyun scoffed.
Ryeowook looked at him with suspiciously dry eyes. “Hey, whatever works.”
“So, now that you guys will be on the lookout for a charming, pale person with pointy teeth, let’s get on with another issue shall we?” said Siwon happily, returning to their campfire circle after plucking all of the leaves out of his hair.
“He’s an issue,” Kyuhyun said immediately, pointing to a snoring Eunhyuk who was scratching his armpit.
Siwon eyed the sleeping person almost hungrily. “I’d love to take him off your hands,” he purred.
Sungmin cleared his throat uncomfortably. “What issue are you talking about?” he asked.
Siwon turned back to them, slightly regretful, but quickly brightened again. “Your sins! Once you confess your sins, you will find forgiveness and be free!”
“Ryeowookie doesn’t have any sins,” Yesung insisted, arms in a protective circle around said person. Ryeowook smiled angelically.
“You’re sick, sick as all the secrets that you deny! Sins like skeleton are so very hard to hide.”
Siwon looked around, eyebrows nearly jumping off his face. “What was that?”
“Henry,” four voices answered at the same time.
Siwon nodded, his distinctive eyebrows furrowing. “So, who is this Henry?”
Everyone turned to look at Sungmin. Sungmin blinked at the sudden attention. “Henry is…” He paused as though looking for the right words. “He’s my human soundtrack.”
“Human soundtrack?” asked Siwon, eyebrows moving up and down in confusion.
Sungmin nodded. “You know how everyone wishes their life had an awesome music playlist like in the movies? Well, he’s the soundtrack of my life.”
“Where did you get him?” asked Kyuhyun curiously.
“A birthday present forced upon me by Sunny,” replied Sungmin. “She got him off eBay.”
“You can get everything there,” said Yesung nodding. “I once got an Eiffel Tower made completely out of sporks.”
Siwon moved on as though human soundtracks were everyday things. “Let’s share our sins now!” He pointed to Kyuhyun. “Thank you for volunteering!”
“Me?” Kyuhyun gulped. Sungmin squeezed his hand, which was still in his own, comfortingly.
“God will not judge you by your sins,” Siwon said reassuringly. He gestured madly for Kyuhyun to proceed.
Kyuhyun held on to Sungmin’s hand like it was a lifeline. “Alright,” he said, drawing in a shaky breath. “Here goes nothing.” He pointed to his long pants and boots. “I never take these off because…” He paused and looked pleadingly at the other four, begging for compassion. “I…I have a sock tan.”
Silence dawned upon the camp.
-
A/N: Song: Reclusion