An Epic Quest to Find True Love Part 3
Title: An Epic Quest to Find True Love
Pairing: MinKyu
Minor Pairings: YeWook, EunHae, ninja! HanChul, even more ninja! KangTeuk
Part: 3
Rating: PG
Genre: romance, humor
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them
Warnings: implied (humorous) character death, cheesy pick up lines
Summary: Sungmin is banished from the land of Aegyo until he has found his one true love. He instead encounters a cowboy-esque stablehand, a Pokemon trainer, and aspiring campfire singers among others. And this is just the beginning.
The first time Sungmin wanted to turn back from the journey happened some time after dinner that night.
“Who knew roasted raccoon tasted so good,” commented Eunhyuk. “Someone should open a restaurant specializing in that.”
“But that Leeteuk…” said Kyuhyun.
Sungmin shot Kyuhyun a curious look. “You didn’t believe he was an angel? He had the wings and halo. And he was wearing a white Snuggie backwards. What’s there not to believe?”
Kyuhyun shook his head. “I believe he’s an angel. I just don’t believe he was there to take Kangin’s immortal soul to heaven. Even the Powers That Be wouldn’t want to put up with him!”
After their hearty meal, the party of four was currently looking for a place to crash for the night. Their wandering proved to be fruitful as they soon emerged from the forest, clearly in another kingdom now.
“Finally,” muttered Sungmin. “I’m sick of getting in touch with nature.”
“Look,” said Hangeng pointing to a suspicious looking castle that looked even more ominous when bathed in the light of the full moon. “It’s a suspicious looking castle that looks even more ominous when bathed in the light of the full moon. How about we stay there?”
“By all means, let’s,” snapped Kyuhyun. “Because if there was a lesson Disney has taught us, we should enter every shady castle we see so we can see furniture spontaneously burst into song and dance.”
“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Kyu,” said Eunhyuk excitedly. “Suspicious looking castles are always fun to explore. Sure, we may run into danger, but we won’t die. The main characters never die.”
“You’re not a main character. You’re a minor character that’s getting in the way of the development of a relationship between the two leads,” replied Kyuhyun, kicking Eunhyuk out of his way casually. “And don’t call me that.”
“I’d like to stay indoors tonight,” Sungmin said, thinking out loud. “But if Kyu doesn’t want to…”
“Let’s go,” said Kyuhyun gruffly, kicking Eunhyuk again for good measure.
The interior was no less suspicious than the exterior. The doors that swung open unaided were suspicious. The torches that lit up as they approached were suspicious. The two cats that roamed the hallway were suspicious. But most of all, the androgynous beauty in the room at the end of the hallway was suspicious.
“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here,” the beauty said from his throne in the center of a raised platform as soon as all four of them stepped into the room.
“You could have told us that earlier,” whined Eunhyuk.
“I wouldn’t have to if you four didn’t trespass on my property!” snapped the beauty. “It is frowned upon by society!” Then he suddenly smiled graciously at them. “I’m Heechul. What brings you five here?”
“Five?” Hangeng frowned. “There are only four of us.”
“Don’t lie to me!” screamed Heechul. “I can see that little violinist creeping around behind you!”
“That’s right,” said Kyuhyun turning to Sungmin. “About Henry…”
“We don’t have time for that,” Eunhyuk whispered frantically. “We have to get out of here before that lunatic decides our hope is abandoned and makes us stay here as his playthings!”
“That’s actually not a bad idea, monkey boy,” Heechul called out. He gave each of them an appraising look. “I like you two,” he said, pointing to Kyuhyun and Sungmin.
Sungmin felt Kyuhyun stiffen. “Why us? Just take the monkey boy.”
Heechul smirked. “A barbed tongue like yours could possibly compete against mine. And…” Heechul stared at the impassive Sungmin. “I can see there is a block of ice where your heart should be. Such interesting people are worthy of my company, not a twig with smelly feet.”
“I’m not that skinny,” protested Eunhyuk, not bothering to deny the other allegation.
Kyuhyun practically growled at Heechul, shifting so he was closer to Sungmin. “You’re not taking Sungmin.”
Heechul’s laugh a bone-chilling sound. “And you’re going to stop me how?”
“Oh yeah? Like this.”
Without a warning, Kyuhyun grabbed Sungmin’s hand and sprinted out of the room.
“Wait for me!” screamed Eunhyuk, taking off after the pair with Hangeng right behind him.
“Heebum! Champagne!” cried Heechul. “Get them!” The two cats they had seen roaming around earlier sprang out of nowhere and gave chase.
“We’re not going to make it!” shouted Sungmin, desperately looking at the quickly gaining cats.
“Just a bit more!” gasped Kyuhyun. “We can’t get caught now!”
Eunhyuk looked back at the cats which were almost upon them. “Not if I can help it,” he said grimly.
“What are you going to do?” asked Sungmin.
“Taking responsibility,” was the cryptic reply. Suddenly, Eunhyuk shoved a screaming Hangeng towards the waiting paws of Heechul’s cats. “Come on,” Eunhyuk urged a shocked Kyuhyun. “Now’s our chance.”
“You can’t just leave him behind to save us,” protested Kyuhyun, feeling guilty as he caught the gleeful expression on Heechul’s face when he saw his cats’ catch.
“You told me to take responsibility of him and that’s what I’m doing.” Eunhyuk didn’t even look back once.
“And they call me cold-hearted,” muttered Sungmin darkly as the trio raced out of the suspicious castle.
The three didn’t stop running for twenty minutes until they were a good distance away and in another forest.
“Enough of this weirdness. I want to go home,” Sungmin stated once they caught their breath. “Time to take this true love thing seriously.”
Kyuhyun made a strangled noise.
-
The first possible love interest Sungmin found came thankfully soon after his declaration of seriousness.
“I’m worried I won’t find love on this epic quest to find love,” Sungmin confessed to Kyuhyun during one of their nightly chats.
Kyuhyun scooted closer to Sungmin. “Maybe the one you’ve been looking for has been with you this whole time,” he said in a low voice, looking up at the prince from under his eyelashes. “It’s always the best friend.”
Sungmin looked over at Eunhyuk, who was fast asleep with his mouth open. A fly flew in and Eunhyuk unconsciously swallowed. The fly did not reemerge. “Ew,” said Sungmin, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “I don’t like people who have stinky feet.”
Kyuhyun blinked. “That’s not who I meant!” cried Kyuhyun waving both his hands.
“Then who did you mean?”
Kyuhyun frowned at Sungmin. “Hyung, what happened to your voice? It got all deep.”
Sungmin shrugged. “That wasn’t me.”
The pair slowly turned around. There, just behind them, was a strange, unsmiling man.
“Hello.”
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Kyuhyun, scrambling backwards.
Luckily, Sungmin had been highly trained in the art of suppressing screams (courtesy of Sunny, of course). He merely inched slowly away, face a schooled cool mask.
“I don’t want to eat fish!” cried Eunhyuk. “That’s cannibalism!” The three men turned to face him. Eunhyuk merely rolled over and continued snoring, evidently undisturbed by the disturbance.
“W-who are you?” demanded Kyuhyun, pointing an accusing finger at the intruder.
“I am me. The question is, who are you?” countered the man.
“Hyung,” hissed Kyuhyun, turning to Sungmin for help.
“Is that Maybelline?” Sungmin asked.
The man’s impassive face suddenly broke out into a smile. “Yes. I love Maybelline.”
“I do too,” agreed Sungmin, feeling an instant connection.
“Who is Maybelline?” demanded Kyuhyun, not feeling miffed or jealous. Nope, not at all. “What is her address and social security number?”
Sungmin smiled at his newfound friend, offering his hand for a handshake. “My name is Sungmin. I really like your outfit,” he said, nodding approvingly at the other’s punk-ish get up.
“Yesung,” replied the other man. He ignored the proffered hand and reached out to touch the area between Sungmin’s nostrils and upper lip. “I like your philtrum,” he murmured. “You have a perfect cupid’s bow.”
Luckily, Sungmin had previously lived in the mountains for his training and had, on more than one occasion, woken up with a spider crawling across his face. A finger to his philtrum was pish posh compared to that experience, so he merely blinked in confusion.
“What on earth did you just do?” demanded Kyuhyun, grabbing Yesung by his shirt front.
“Sungmin, the one you’ve been looking for has been with you this whole time,” Yesung stated calmly, as though he was not being shaken like a rag doll by a person with a cowboy hat.
Before Sungmin could ask for clarification, a small figure burst out of the bushes.
“Get away from Yesung!”
Kyuhyun was immediately pushed back by an invisible force and would have fallen on his butt had Sungmin not caught him in time. Sungmin turned to look at the newcomer.
It was a short boy, perhaps a few years younger than Kyuhyun. With his sharp features, prominent cheekbones, and skinny figure, he did not look very intimidating. The ominous ball of energy shimmering in his hand, however, was.
“Are you Maybelline?” Kyuhyun demanded.
“Wookie,” Yesung said disapprovingly. “Be nice.”
Ryeowook gave Kyuhyun one last glare before turning to give Yesung an innocent smile. “I’m always nice, hyung,” he said cutely, radiating sugar and spice and everything nice.
Kyuhyun gaped at the sudden personality change. These two were clearly not normal.
Eunhyuk let out a loud snore as though in agreement.
-
“I think I like him,” Sungmin told Kyuhyun later, once it had been decided the two would join their traveling party. “He’s nice, smart, and really funny! He might be the one.”
Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin. “You like guys?” he squeaked. “If I had known, I would have-”
Sungmin gave Kyuhyun an odd look. “You would’ve?” he prompted.
Kyunhyun’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “I don’t see why you like him!”
“Didn’t I just tell you?” Sungmin frowned.
“How can you like a guy that can tell a person’s future by touching their philtrum?” Kyuhyun sputtered. “And don’t even get me started on his turtle obsession!”
“What do you have against him?” demanded Sungmin.
“Nothing! It’s just that…” Kyuhyun grabbed both of Sungmin’s hands, startling the older man. Kyuhyun looked deep into his hyung’s eyes. “Hyung, no, Sungmin. At absolute zero, you would still move me.”
Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun. “If you wanted to sleep because it’s so cold, you should just say so.” He patted Kyuhyun’s head before moving off to his designated sleeping spot. “Thanks for listening. Good night.”
“Wait, no, hyung!” Kyuhyun protested, but Sungmin had already left. Kyuhyun sighed.
“What hurts the most was being so close. And having so much to say and watching you walk away!”
“Shut up, Henry,” snapped Kyuhyun kicking a nearby tree. He felt satisfaction at the ensuing yelp.
“Who’s Henry?”
Kyuhyun turned around to see no other than Ryeowook. He resisted the urge to stick out his tongue, remembering the mysterious force earlier. “The person singing,” he replied dully. “Don’t ask; I don’t know. Only Sungmin knows.”
“Speaking of Sungmin…” Ryeowook smirked in a way Kyuhyun could only describe as evil. “I heard the rejection.”
“What rejection?” snapped Kyuhyun grumpily.
“With such a lame, geeky pick up line, it really wasn’t much of a surprise.” Ryeowook held up a hand as Kyuhyun stated to protest. “But I’m not here to make fun of you. Okay, maybe just a little, but my real purpose is much bigger. I have a proposal.”
Kyuhyun squinted at the smaller suspiciously. “Keep talking.”
“You want Sungmin. Sungmin wants Yesung. I want Yesung. Yesung wants a pet turtle. Am I right?”
Kyuhyun nodded a confirmation.
“I’ve thought about it and I have concluded that the best way to satisfy all parties is to break Yesung and Sungmin up.” Ryeowook looked very pleased with his deduction. “I’m an advanced magician, so I can use my spells to hex anyone who comes near Yesung.”
Kyuhyun glared at Ryeowook. “Do anything you want to the monkey, but don’t you dare use your mojo on Sungmin. If you do, I’ll tell Yesung on you.”
“Fine,” Ryeowook acquiesced reluctantly. “Then you’ll have to do something about your precious Sungmin being near Yesung.”
“I’ll seduce him,” Kyuhyun declared confidently.
Ryeowook burst out laughing. “Okay, okay,” he wheezed. “You can try to do that.” He stuck out his right hand. “Deal?”
Kyuhyun took the hand and shook it firmly. “Deal.”
“A boy worth fighting for!”
“Shut up Henry!” said Kyuhyun and Ryeowook simultaneously. They looked at each other in surprise and grinned. This was the beginning of a beautiful partnership.
-
A/N: My sister told me today that Ryeowook moved to the 12th floor (nooo! What about Yesung?!). Does anyone know which room he's staying in? Songs: What Hurts the Most and A Girl Worth Fighting For.