dum de dum dum dummmm MYTHBUSTERS!
well Norm and Damon didnt make it up here for the MYTHBUSTERS, and they sure missed an awesome apperance! the MYTHBUSTERS were A W E S O M E !!! since the guys didnt come up for it i gave their tickets to Derek and Kender. and I know for a fact that Kender was excited that he got to go. cuz MYTHBUSTERS sold out i guess sometime Monday i think. and Derek and Kender didnt get tickets. so i was an awesome ex girl friend and told Derek that him and Kender could have them. they were pysched!
anywho..
last nite at about 12 i decided that i was gonna drive down to Esky to spend the nite with Damon..well i get down there at about 1:30 met up with him at the Stardust and saw him for a grand total of about 20 mins..i was PISSED! and then he had his friend Tina drive him home instead of spending the nite with me...man oh man was i ever pissed! to the point i fucking started crying. yea im crying over this guy yet again. but i guess thats what i get for caring/loving him. it kinda comes with the deal. last nite i did a lot of thinking and i came to the realization that i need to A) get the commitment from him or B) walk away completely before my heart gets ripped into a million pieces... ive been hurt way too many times this year and i dont want it to happen again. im so sick of being in that state of mind.
sometimes i think that im jus suposed to be alone for the rest of my life and i dont like that thought. i hate being alone. and no im NOT codependent or whatever that damn word is.. i dont need a man in my life to make me, me. i jus like the fact that i do have someone that i could go to when im down in the dumps. but right now i dont think i have that. and that really scares me. my brother and sis inlaw used to be the ones i ran to when i was down in the dumps and now they are gone and i really dont have anyone. i do have Nat to run to..she is one of my best friends and all but a lot of the things that put me down in the dumps are reacurrences from my past..and she doesnt know everything that happend to me in the past and my bro and sis know everything from my past, so when i would run to them for help they knew exactly why i was depressed and i didnt have to explain anything to them they would jus pick up the pieces and put them back into some sort of order...GAH! i really miss them. i cant wait til i get to see them again. i do get to talk to them once in awhile but that jus isnt the same as sittin in their living room or on the porch drinkin a mixy and talkin about EVERYTHING! they were there for me when i had the worst heart break of my life. they helped me threw it...and for everything that they have done i could never in a million years begin to pay them back. tim is the BEST brother i could ever ask for and Ally is the BEST sis inlaw anyone could ever ask for. they are so perfect for each other! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
ok ok ok shit i really got goin there..so i supose that write alot for this entry..
im out
<3 Sare
anywho..
last nite at about 12 i decided that i was gonna drive down to Esky to spend the nite with Damon..well i get down there at about 1:30 met up with him at the Stardust and saw him for a grand total of about 20 mins..i was PISSED! and then he had his friend Tina drive him home instead of spending the nite with me...man oh man was i ever pissed! to the point i fucking started crying. yea im crying over this guy yet again. but i guess thats what i get for caring/loving him. it kinda comes with the deal. last nite i did a lot of thinking and i came to the realization that i need to A) get the commitment from him or B) walk away completely before my heart gets ripped into a million pieces... ive been hurt way too many times this year and i dont want it to happen again. im so sick of being in that state of mind.
sometimes i think that im jus suposed to be alone for the rest of my life and i dont like that thought. i hate being alone. and no im NOT codependent or whatever that damn word is.. i dont need a man in my life to make me, me. i jus like the fact that i do have someone that i could go to when im down in the dumps. but right now i dont think i have that. and that really scares me. my brother and sis inlaw used to be the ones i ran to when i was down in the dumps and now they are gone and i really dont have anyone. i do have Nat to run to..she is one of my best friends and all but a lot of the things that put me down in the dumps are reacurrences from my past..and she doesnt know everything that happend to me in the past and my bro and sis know everything from my past, so when i would run to them for help they knew exactly why i was depressed and i didnt have to explain anything to them they would jus pick up the pieces and put them back into some sort of order...GAH! i really miss them. i cant wait til i get to see them again. i do get to talk to them once in awhile but that jus isnt the same as sittin in their living room or on the porch drinkin a mixy and talkin about EVERYTHING! they were there for me when i had the worst heart break of my life. they helped me threw it...and for everything that they have done i could never in a million years begin to pay them back. tim is the BEST brother i could ever ask for and Ally is the BEST sis inlaw anyone could ever ask for. they are so perfect for each other! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
ok ok ok shit i really got goin there..so i supose that write alot for this entry..
im out
<3 Sare