You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold...
How were everyone's holidays? Mine was pretty fabulous complete with great presents, nice visits with extended family, and many hours spent doing nothing in front of a glowing screen of HBO. Ah... yay for breaks. One of the greatest accomplishments of my break was completing an entire novel ("A Thousand Splendid Suns" ... great book, you should read it) in 2 days. TWO DAYS people! I have 2 books still sitting 1/4 completed from last year sitting on my shelf. 2 days... I must say I was very proud. I got to see S. too and we looked snazzy even in the rain patrolling Manhattan for celebrities. My knee was the only sacrifice but I've been stable on it for 2 days now.... only took about 10 days to heal. I saw some people in Myrtle Beach before leaving as well and that was nice. It was all pretty great.
I got a lot of thinking done too. I often overthink things but I think I did alright controlling my wandering mind this time around. I was pondering through a bunch of unresolved things from this past semester and I've worked through a lot of things, made new goals, reanalyzed some decisions I made and the like.
I'm not sure how to eloquently lead into this epiphany I had so I'll just have to go ahead and spit it out there. But basically, I've figured when it comes to guys, they have three categories for the women they meet in their lives. The placement in these categories is based upon immediate impressions for the most part and include: 1)nothings 2)friends 3)interests. Once placed in a category, it is hard to move between levels. Once judged as a nothing, you're most likely to remain a nothing unless it was a bad hair/dress/discussion day at which point the initial judgment may be forgotten and a new category placement could take its place. If "friend" was a girl's initial label, that's where she'll stay. Guys seem for the most part very difficult to anger/disappoint to such a level they'll drop a "friend" to a "nothing" unless it's the girl who pushes for the end of the friendship. And then there's the "interests" as in romantic interests. These are decided from initial reactions and will never be upgrades from the "friend" category. Women are much more mobile in their labelings, much more easy to persuade in switching to other categories, more pro-climbing the social ladder. Women can learn to appreciate a "nothing" and turn them into a "friend" and turn a "friend" into an "interest" and cut-off a once interest to any of the lower categories.
Who's to say which way is better or if I'm even right in my assumption (let me know if you have any other opinions on the matter). I just thought it interesting. A friend told me girls seem to suffer from the "When Harry Met Sally" syndrome where they target "friends" to become "interests." And he's probably right. There's something safe in giving that "interest" title to someone you already know on some level and figure they have to like you at least a little bit to be friends with you. But that's where the light should go off. They're "friends" with you. That's all you are, all you were, and all you will ever be. You've already been locked into that category and the only way to go is down. So what to do? Forget about it and accept the fate of friendship? Do something about it and accept the fate of nothingness? Just abandon it all all together? I don't know what the best decision in the end really is. But my only recommendation is, keep an eye on strangers who haven't categorized you yet... esp the 6'4" ones :)
"Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say, 'Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him'..."
~The Killers
I got a lot of thinking done too. I often overthink things but I think I did alright controlling my wandering mind this time around. I was pondering through a bunch of unresolved things from this past semester and I've worked through a lot of things, made new goals, reanalyzed some decisions I made and the like.
I'm not sure how to eloquently lead into this epiphany I had so I'll just have to go ahead and spit it out there. But basically, I've figured when it comes to guys, they have three categories for the women they meet in their lives. The placement in these categories is based upon immediate impressions for the most part and include: 1)nothings 2)friends 3)interests. Once placed in a category, it is hard to move between levels. Once judged as a nothing, you're most likely to remain a nothing unless it was a bad hair/dress/discussion day at which point the initial judgment may be forgotten and a new category placement could take its place. If "friend" was a girl's initial label, that's where she'll stay. Guys seem for the most part very difficult to anger/disappoint to such a level they'll drop a "friend" to a "nothing" unless it's the girl who pushes for the end of the friendship. And then there's the "interests" as in romantic interests. These are decided from initial reactions and will never be upgrades from the "friend" category. Women are much more mobile in their labelings, much more easy to persuade in switching to other categories, more pro-climbing the social ladder. Women can learn to appreciate a "nothing" and turn them into a "friend" and turn a "friend" into an "interest" and cut-off a once interest to any of the lower categories.
Who's to say which way is better or if I'm even right in my assumption (let me know if you have any other opinions on the matter). I just thought it interesting. A friend told me girls seem to suffer from the "When Harry Met Sally" syndrome where they target "friends" to become "interests." And he's probably right. There's something safe in giving that "interest" title to someone you already know on some level and figure they have to like you at least a little bit to be friends with you. But that's where the light should go off. They're "friends" with you. That's all you are, all you were, and all you will ever be. You've already been locked into that category and the only way to go is down. So what to do? Forget about it and accept the fate of friendship? Do something about it and accept the fate of nothingness? Just abandon it all all together? I don't know what the best decision in the end really is. But my only recommendation is, keep an eye on strangers who haven't categorized you yet... esp the 6'4" ones :)
"Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say, 'Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him'..."
~The Killers