Episode: Sacrifice
I was going to censor this version for this journal - but I thought 'bugger it' cause it's not that offensive. Not like the swallowing joke I made with Amita in the Pilot before that one tiny vestigal thread of 'taste' in my common sense told me that maybe it was too much. Anyway. Warning - this one totally isn't as funny as the others, but that's because this one was mostly people talking so it was *incredibly* hard to cap. It's still got a couple of moments though, I think. Without further ado...
Episode:Sacrifice.
The tragic demise of MC Escher... (oh yeah, you math geeks will lap that one up, won't you?)
Sparky the Security Console saw everything. All he could say about it was 'Entry Zone' because he wasn't programmed to display anything much else.
Don: Okay, everyone can relax, I'm here. [notices white bald guy] Hey. Who the hell are you, you're not my regular baldie.
New!Baldie: I'm your general mean and creepy guy with the NSA. And this guy here...
NSA!Baldie: He's Senator Kelly. Erm. President of the Company Kelly.
Don: No shit! Down with the muties, eh? So how's that going?
NSA!Baldie: That's classified, Agent Eppes.
Don: Spoil sports.
Don: Listen, man. I already have my assigned baldie back-up, so why don't you let me solve the crimes and you can stop terrorists or something?
Sinclair: Did you just say my name?
Don: No. Did I tell you to stop looking for clues?
I'm telling you, people, them's the sweetest names I've seen come after "Guest Starring" in a while!
Did you know that knowing mathematics automatically makes you a total 1337 haxxor? It's true. Charlie can make those numbers into pr0n! (On a total SDKG note, his curls are looking particularly shiny and well groomed today. Proceed to swoon).
Biggest game of connect four EVER.
*chuckle* Is it just me or is Don's hair even TALLER in this episode?
Look! Sinclair is willing his hair to grow. We can see his hairline!
NSA!Guy is totally down on the whole "Creepy, Unsettling Guy in a Suit" gig. Just looking at him makes me hate the government.
Uh-oh. Don's caught Charlie goofing off.
Don: What the hell are you doin'?
Charlie: Uh... I was just rolling around in my chair while I gave my brain a rest...
Don: What... is it the Rolly Chair Olympics in here today? Is that what you think it is?!
Charlie: For your information, if there were Rolly Chair Olympics, I would totally kick ass!
Hmmm... I don't think Charlie has the ability to write anything OTHER than formulas...
That's right, try again, Charlie.
D'oh!
(O_O) *snort* Re-he-eally now? *tilts head* Nooooo!
Random cute shot. Perve with me, now.
Charlie: *sing* Eensy weensy spideer....
Charlie: *sing* Climbed up the water spout!
(Teapot moment!!)
Don is thoroughly sick of Charlie's spontaneous bouts of singing.
Don: So. Still Senator Kelly, eh?
Kelly: Yep.
Don: Still killing them muties?
Kelly: That's classified.
Don: Damn it. I nearly had you there, come on...
Kelly: ...
... Well Hel-LOOOOO sailor! *whistles* This episode just jumped a few points in the Babe-O-Meter! (And it was already pretty high...)
Don: Who the hell's this? Who gave this dope clearance to be such a fucking heart-throb?
Joey: Dude, chill. I'm the villain.
Don: Pfft. You? You couldn't scare my little sister.
Joey: Oh yeah? Check out my cold stare...
Don: That's the shittiest cold stare ever. Go make another teen movie, you dweeb.
Don: Yo, Charlie. I think I solved it.
Charlie: What... already? We're only fifteen minutes into the episode...
Don: Ah shit. You're right...
Charlie: S'okay, man. I can fiddle around with the computer and look totally adorable for another half hour while you brow-beat the other suspects. At some point I might even bond with the villain and have an attack of the "I suck"s.
Don: Good plan, Charlie. Good plan.
Oh yeah RIGHT, Larry. Maybe he's teaching him the robot, like he used to do, back in the day, when he was the Dragonslayer.
Don goofs off and plays some Solitaire... 'cept he's not too great at it.
Sinclair: You might want to put that red eight on that black nine...
Don: Hey. Do I tell you how to do your job? Don't look over my shoulder when I play, you know I friggin' hate that.
Don and Baldie try out for the Village People Tribute Band.
Construction!Worker: Dark, bald and handsome might be all right for the Sailor, but you... I dunno if you'd work for the Indian...
Don: ...Indian? Watch your mouth, you're talkin' to the Leather Man!
Well, HELLO sweety! Yes, you can come into this scene! Come on in, make yourself at home!
Huh... huh... two cuties in one shot... huh... can't... type...
Joey looks absolutely hot and tells his personal story...
Charlie looks... uhm... *cough* *laugh* er, interested.
... Do we have reciprocation? (btw, Joey is totally gorgeous when he laughs. Well, he'd be gorgeous comatose, knowing him).
...I think Charlie is falling in love.
There's only one thing that thrills me more than a gratuitous close-up of JGL...
... Oh yeah. *smokes proverbial cigarette* (btw, if DK looked at me like that? I'd pass out. Or wet myself. Or something equally embarrassing.)
Hah. Charlie has just met the gay love of his life, I think.
Joey: So, dude - Hot Geek showdown, high noon?
Charlie: You bet. Showdown. Hot....yeah...
Charlie finds Larry answering God's bet that he couldn't fit his two fingers up his own nose simultaneously...
I think Larry's trying to generate some Student/Sensei action but it's just not happening in this ep. You can't compete with Joey.
Dad: Charlie... Are you lookin' at porn?
Charlie: Sure, Dad.
Dad:... is it gay porn?
Charlie: No, it's lesbian cheerleader mudwrestling.
(btw, we geeks know it's a mac. No sticker can hide the glory of the apple).
Aaaah... again, two hotties... one shot. My brain - dead.
Oh, and you, Don. Of course you, too. Three hotties. What, you got mustard on your tie?
Heh. Don checks the height of his hair before he has to face off NSA!Baldie...
Don: Woah... did you get creepier?
NSA!Baldie: Me? Creepy? What are you talking about? [creepy look]
I think Don's wishing cancer upon him. In the head.
NSA!Charlie: Listen, buddy! I believe in America and the President! There's nothing YOU or ANYBODY can do about it!
Don: Yeah? Well write and tell my mother, bi-otch!
(You know when I sometimes have those completely stupid jokes that make no sense? Right, this is one of them. Moving on...)
Construction!Worker: What? You guys are back?
Sinclair: Yeah, Don wanted to have just one more go at it.
Construction!Worker: Arright.
Don: The... milk-shaaake! The milk-shaaaaake! The... uhhhh-nun...
Don: Dun...mmm-hmmm...
Construction!Worker: Man. You suck.
Don: Yeah, well your hat looks fucking stupid.
Oh come on, Baldie! I think you're underestimating a little...
Charlie shows us his LJ stats and proves once and for all that in the High-brow Impossibly Hard Mathematical Theory circles... he's a *total* BNF (Big Name Fan).
And now for the Hot-Geek Showdown...
David Krumholtz...
Joey Gordon Levitt!
Watch as these boys fight it out for the title in a vat of honey and baby oil, wearing nothing but leather lap-laps and...
Er...
Sorry. Got carried away there. He-he. Where was I?
Tee-hee. Joey! You have the right to remain sexaaay!
They proceed to have a Surliness Showdown.
Nice work, Joey...
Oooh, a strong reply from Dave!
Da-yamn! Weak response from Joey! Will it be enough with Krumholtz's next move?
WOAH! DOWN! DK takes the Joe-ster DOWN with the brows of DOOM!
DK does the victory walk. Joey is totally KO'd!!
And crawling... on the planet's face... some insects... called the human race... lost in time, and lost in space (I hate that fuckin shoow!)
... And meaning. (And meeeeaaaaniiiiiing!)
Charlie is sad so Math!Sensei tries to cheer him up by making his fingers have sex with each other.
Math!Sensei: See, it's funny, Charlie, see? It's finger love...
Charlie is not amused.
Math!Sensei: Fine! Be a spoil-sport and have an "I Suck" moment. I'm going for a burger and more finger sex.
Oh my. SURLY I suck. We haven't seen that one before!!
Thanks again to Hilary and http://numb3rs-online.net! Until next week, folks!
Episode:Sacrifice.
The tragic demise of MC Escher... (oh yeah, you math geeks will lap that one up, won't you?)
Sparky the Security Console saw everything. All he could say about it was 'Entry Zone' because he wasn't programmed to display anything much else.
Don: Okay, everyone can relax, I'm here. [notices white bald guy] Hey. Who the hell are you, you're not my regular baldie.
New!Baldie: I'm your general mean and creepy guy with the NSA. And this guy here...
NSA!Baldie: He's Senator Kelly. Erm. President of the Company Kelly.
Don: No shit! Down with the muties, eh? So how's that going?
NSA!Baldie: That's classified, Agent Eppes.
Don: Spoil sports.
Don: Listen, man. I already have my assigned baldie back-up, so why don't you let me solve the crimes and you can stop terrorists or something?
Sinclair: Did you just say my name?
Don: No. Did I tell you to stop looking for clues?
I'm telling you, people, them's the sweetest names I've seen come after "Guest Starring" in a while!
Did you know that knowing mathematics automatically makes you a total 1337 haxxor? It's true. Charlie can make those numbers into pr0n! (On a total SDKG note, his curls are looking particularly shiny and well groomed today. Proceed to swoon).
Biggest game of connect four EVER.
*chuckle* Is it just me or is Don's hair even TALLER in this episode?
Look! Sinclair is willing his hair to grow. We can see his hairline!
NSA!Guy is totally down on the whole "Creepy, Unsettling Guy in a Suit" gig. Just looking at him makes me hate the government.
Uh-oh. Don's caught Charlie goofing off.
Don: What the hell are you doin'?
Charlie: Uh... I was just rolling around in my chair while I gave my brain a rest...
Don: What... is it the Rolly Chair Olympics in here today? Is that what you think it is?!
Charlie: For your information, if there were Rolly Chair Olympics, I would totally kick ass!
Hmmm... I don't think Charlie has the ability to write anything OTHER than formulas...
That's right, try again, Charlie.
D'oh!
(O_O) *snort* Re-he-eally now? *tilts head* Nooooo!
Random cute shot. Perve with me, now.
Charlie: *sing* Eensy weensy spideer....
Charlie: *sing* Climbed up the water spout!
(Teapot moment!!)
Don is thoroughly sick of Charlie's spontaneous bouts of singing.
Don: So. Still Senator Kelly, eh?
Kelly: Yep.
Don: Still killing them muties?
Kelly: That's classified.
Don: Damn it. I nearly had you there, come on...
Kelly: ...
... Well Hel-LOOOOO sailor! *whistles* This episode just jumped a few points in the Babe-O-Meter! (And it was already pretty high...)
Don: Who the hell's this? Who gave this dope clearance to be such a fucking heart-throb?
Joey: Dude, chill. I'm the villain.
Don: Pfft. You? You couldn't scare my little sister.
Joey: Oh yeah? Check out my cold stare...
Don: That's the shittiest cold stare ever. Go make another teen movie, you dweeb.
Don: Yo, Charlie. I think I solved it.
Charlie: What... already? We're only fifteen minutes into the episode...
Don: Ah shit. You're right...
Charlie: S'okay, man. I can fiddle around with the computer and look totally adorable for another half hour while you brow-beat the other suspects. At some point I might even bond with the villain and have an attack of the "I suck"s.
Don: Good plan, Charlie. Good plan.
Oh yeah RIGHT, Larry. Maybe he's teaching him the robot, like he used to do, back in the day, when he was the Dragonslayer.
Don goofs off and plays some Solitaire... 'cept he's not too great at it.
Sinclair: You might want to put that red eight on that black nine...
Don: Hey. Do I tell you how to do your job? Don't look over my shoulder when I play, you know I friggin' hate that.
Don and Baldie try out for the Village People Tribute Band.
Construction!Worker: Dark, bald and handsome might be all right for the Sailor, but you... I dunno if you'd work for the Indian...
Don: ...Indian? Watch your mouth, you're talkin' to the Leather Man!
Well, HELLO sweety! Yes, you can come into this scene! Come on in, make yourself at home!
Huh... huh... two cuties in one shot... huh... can't... type...
Joey looks absolutely hot and tells his personal story...
Charlie looks... uhm... *cough* *laugh* er, interested.
... Do we have reciprocation? (btw, Joey is totally gorgeous when he laughs. Well, he'd be gorgeous comatose, knowing him).
...I think Charlie is falling in love.
There's only one thing that thrills me more than a gratuitous close-up of JGL...
... Oh yeah. *smokes proverbial cigarette* (btw, if DK looked at me like that? I'd pass out. Or wet myself. Or something equally embarrassing.)
Hah. Charlie has just met the gay love of his life, I think.
Joey: So, dude - Hot Geek showdown, high noon?
Charlie: You bet. Showdown. Hot....yeah...
Charlie finds Larry answering God's bet that he couldn't fit his two fingers up his own nose simultaneously...
I think Larry's trying to generate some Student/Sensei action but it's just not happening in this ep. You can't compete with Joey.
Dad: Charlie... Are you lookin' at porn?
Charlie: Sure, Dad.
Dad:... is it gay porn?
Charlie: No, it's lesbian cheerleader mudwrestling.
(btw, we geeks know it's a mac. No sticker can hide the glory of the apple).
Aaaah... again, two hotties... one shot. My brain - dead.
Oh, and you, Don. Of course you, too. Three hotties. What, you got mustard on your tie?
Heh. Don checks the height of his hair before he has to face off NSA!Baldie...
Don: Woah... did you get creepier?
NSA!Baldie: Me? Creepy? What are you talking about? [creepy look]
I think Don's wishing cancer upon him. In the head.
NSA!Charlie: Listen, buddy! I believe in America and the President! There's nothing YOU or ANYBODY can do about it!
Don: Yeah? Well write and tell my mother, bi-otch!
(You know when I sometimes have those completely stupid jokes that make no sense? Right, this is one of them. Moving on...)
Construction!Worker: What? You guys are back?
Sinclair: Yeah, Don wanted to have just one more go at it.
Construction!Worker: Arright.
Don: The... milk-shaaake! The milk-shaaaaake! The... uhhhh-nun...
Don: Dun...mmm-hmmm...
Construction!Worker: Man. You suck.
Don: Yeah, well your hat looks fucking stupid.
Oh come on, Baldie! I think you're underestimating a little...
Charlie shows us his LJ stats and proves once and for all that in the High-brow Impossibly Hard Mathematical Theory circles... he's a *total* BNF (Big Name Fan).
And now for the Hot-Geek Showdown...
David Krumholtz...
Joey Gordon Levitt!
Watch as these boys fight it out for the title in a vat of honey and baby oil, wearing nothing but leather lap-laps and...
Er...
Sorry. Got carried away there. He-he. Where was I?
Tee-hee. Joey! You have the right to remain sexaaay!
They proceed to have a Surliness Showdown.
Nice work, Joey...
Oooh, a strong reply from Dave!
Da-yamn! Weak response from Joey! Will it be enough with Krumholtz's next move?
WOAH! DOWN! DK takes the Joe-ster DOWN with the brows of DOOM!
DK does the victory walk. Joey is totally KO'd!!
And crawling... on the planet's face... some insects... called the human race... lost in time, and lost in space (I hate that fuckin shoow!)
... And meaning. (And meeeeaaaaniiiiiing!)
Charlie is sad so Math!Sensei tries to cheer him up by making his fingers have sex with each other.
Math!Sensei: See, it's funny, Charlie, see? It's finger love...
Charlie is not amused.
Math!Sensei: Fine! Be a spoil-sport and have an "I Suck" moment. I'm going for a burger and more finger sex.
Oh my. SURLY I suck. We haven't seen that one before!!
Thanks again to Hilary and http://numb3rs-online.net! Until next week, folks!