035 ♪

[numanstan]

[Anyone who tries to call the Noir household today will be met by a strange-- but disturbingly familiar, for some-- voice.]

Can I help you, dahlin'?

[Housemates will find a woman, hardly taller than a plastic fork, answering phones and doing assorted chores around the house. She looks exactly like Vince in dress. Vince himself is in the living room,

Comments

[is_an_island]

Yes, I'd like to talk to Vince, if he's in.

If not, I can leave a message.

[numanstan]

He's kinda busy at the moment; I could pencil you in for 3:30, if you'd like.

[is_an_island]

... Busy with what?

He's not gone off and decided to hold a party without inviting me, did he?

[numanstan]

Don't rightly know, dahlin', I'd have to check his schedule!

[is_an_island]

Are you his... secretary?

[numanstan]

Sorta! But I've been workin' for him for ages, since he was born.

[is_an_island]

Are you his nanny? Governess?

An au pair?

[numanstan]

I'm his brain's secretary!

[is_an_island]

Is this some modern slang?

Because that's very... brainy of you. Yeah? [no.]

[numanstan]

No, dahlin', it ain't slang! It's literal.

[is_an_island]

Brains don't have secretaries. It's physically impossible.

Did he put you up to this? "If a chap with furry eyebrows call, give him the old run-around"?

[numanstan]

No, it's true-- Oh, wait. You're that one?

[is_an_island]

That one?

Do you mean that dashingly handsome one?

[numanstan]

[hangs up]

[is_an_island]

Wait, I... That guy? What guy?

What guy?