It's rare that I post an entry to livejournal and not to mowgli.org. This is one of those rare posts. Who knows. If all else fails--and it just might--I may do this more often
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Ben, it's these times that will make you stronger. It's hard hard HARD to move to a new place and to finally be independent. It doesn't happen successfully overnight. It just doesn't. You have to have faith that things get better. They do. Life isn't really ever easy, especially if you're this young and not a rockstar. However, I'll always think you're a rockstar. And the apartment, stick with it, we're going to find someone. You're going to get stronger, and more organized, and things will fall into place with time. The thing to remember is that this happens to pretty much everybody. You have a CHOICE to let it stop you and drag you down and depress you, or you have the choice to soldier through it and become a stronger, more independent person. It's easier sometimes to just give up....in the short term. However, all that does is postpone the inevitable. Self-reliance is a virtue, as well as something often deemed necessary. Sometimes it helps to just be thankful. I mean really.....I don't want to make it sound like your issues aren't important or anything....but seriously....our apartment is amazing. It's gorgeous. We walk home and there are flowers hanging all over our porch. You have a job. You have a family who cares about you and is closeby, friends who are loyal. You actually HAVE a car! You have a fairly cute (if i might say so ;) friend that you live with that will cuddle with you ON DEMAND. And now, you have front row access to HOT LESBIAN SEX right in your own apartment! What else could a straight guy want?? Seriously!! And....well, you're *really* good-looking to boot. If I weren't a lesbian...well...just kidding ;)
I mean, seriously....though, things are hard right now and you might have to suffer or look for a better job. Why not just relax for a minute and take a look at how beautiful life is? Why not sit out on the front porch and enjoy the flowers and the great neighborhood? Just breathe, Ben. Look at how far you've come. People who take the initiative often have the hardest journeys. Be content in knowing that you are loved and that you will always be OK. You're never going to be out on the street. You will never be alone or abandoned. And we're going food shopping for more raw stuff, so don't even trip about that. Sorry that your roommie is anorexic :-/ I'm trying to work up the strength to eat cooked again ;)
The thing to remember is that this happens to pretty much everybody. You have a CHOICE to let it stop you and drag you down and depress you, or you have the choice to soldier through it and become a stronger, more independent person. It's easier sometimes to just give up....in the short term. However, all that does is postpone the inevitable. Self-reliance is a virtue, as well as something often deemed necessary.
Sometimes it helps to just be thankful. I mean really.....I don't want to make it sound like your issues aren't important or anything....but seriously....our apartment is amazing. It's gorgeous. We walk home and there are flowers hanging all over our porch. You have a job. You have a family who cares about you and is closeby, friends who are loyal. You actually HAVE a car! You have a fairly cute (if i might say so ;) friend that you live with that will cuddle with you ON DEMAND. And now, you have front row access to HOT LESBIAN SEX right in your own apartment! What else could a straight guy want?? Seriously!! And....well, you're *really* good-looking to boot. If I weren't a lesbian...well...just kidding ;)
I mean, seriously....though, things are hard right now and you might have to suffer or look for a better job. Why not just relax for a minute and take a look at how beautiful life is? Why not sit out on the front porch and enjoy the flowers and the great neighborhood? Just breathe, Ben. Look at how far you've come. People who take the initiative often have the hardest journeys. Be content in knowing that you are loved and that you will always be OK. You're never going to be out on the street. You will never be alone or abandoned. And we're going food shopping for more raw stuff, so don't even trip about that. Sorry that your roommie is anorexic :-/ I'm trying to work up the strength to eat cooked again ;)
Love always,
Holly
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Thanks, Holly. You're the best roomate I've ever had. :) Sorry I'm so melodramatic in my entries. I'm very grateful to have you here with me.
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