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How Hollywood Keeps Fuckin' Me Over! Part Five
SCRUBS
By
Sean Stapleton
April 30 1998
JOSH (voice-over): Hey, guys, I'm Josh. I'm a doctor at a Doctor House... something you guys call a Hospital!
Ha-ha!
THEME SONG
Scrubs!
We're here to fix you and your stuff!
Scrubs!
We'll fix you up and make you tough!
Scrubs!
We're sorry if we're a little rough!
It's... Scrubs! We're the doctors at the Doctor House!
JOSH (voice-over): Scrubs, Episode 5: Am I The Ledgendary Doctor Genius? If I'm the Ledgendaery Doctor Genius, I could cure cancer or maybe even AIDS. Well, probably not AIDS, but maybe cancer!
FADE IN on JOSH, DOCTOR, and NURSE ANN sitting in a library. They are reading Library Books. (laughter)
JOSH: Man, all this reading be stupid! Why we be reading these stupid books!
DOCTOR: We gotsta figure out if you's be the Ledgenderery Doctor Genius, Josh!
NURSE ANN: I'm reading fasion magazine, because girl (laughter)
DOCTOR: Sheesh, Nurse Ann! Why don't you not help out at all! (laughter)
NURSE ANN: Hey, don't expect me to help! I'm on my period! (laughter)
JOSH: This library suck, where's all the beer (laughter)
DOCTOR: They don't have beer at this library JOsh this is one of those Jesus Librarys at a church where you can't have any fun
JOSH: Son of a bitch well do we know if I'm the ledgendarey doctor's genius man yet
DOCTOR: Well this book says to see we have to go visit a special monk who lives in the most remote place, that there is, in the world
JOSH: Where would that possibly be
DOCTOR: Milwaukee!
NURSE ANN: Oh fuck that I'm not going
NEXT SCENE JOSH and DOCTOR are singing and running arm-in-arm down a the street, but it's not a regular street, it's Milwaukee Street (in MIlwakue).
JOSH: Josh!
DOCTOR: The Doctor!
JOSH and DOCTOR: Josh and Doctor Incorporated! (get it, this is like the Laverne and Shirley theme song)
JOSH and DOCTOR are eating a cake.
JOSH and DOCTOR: Give us any cake, we'll share it!
JOSH and DOCTOR high five each other.
JOSH and DOCTOR: Any tonstils, we'll repare it!
JOSH and DOCTOR walk into a restaurant named ALL YOU CAN EATS A SEAFOOD.
JOSH and DOCTOR: We're gonna eat a lot of Food!
JOSH and DOCTOR are shown but now they are really fat, like in the that Weird Al video
JOSH and DOCTOR: Oh look at our weight! (laughter)
JOSH: Wait, what are we eating a foods for? We came here and it's to find out if I'm the doctor ledgendary doctor genius.
DOCTOR: Oh that's right. Why I oughta! (laughter)
NOW the next scene, JOSH and DOCTOR walk up to a door, and they knock it.
MAN: Coming! says the man
HMAN opens the door and says
MAN: Why hello why are you guys doing here
JOSH: We're here to see if you're if I'm the ledgendarye doctor genius.
MAN: No you aren't (audience boos)
JOSH: Are you sure? We're here to see if I'm the ldengery doctor's genius. (laughter)
MAN: What ae you talking about. I don't know what you are talking about. What are you talking about. Please get off of my house. Property. NOW! he yells
JOSH and DOCTOR run away
JOSH: Well what the was that, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh I guess that's not what the book said at all, it said somewhere else... Somewhere we'll have to wait and to visit.... NEXT EPISODE
TO BE CONTINUED says the screen on it
FADE TO BLACK
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
FADE TO BLACK
TO BE CONTINUED says the screen on it
FADE TO BLACK again
CREDITS ROLL
SCRUBS
By
Sean Stapleton
April 30 1998
JOSH (voice-over): Hey, guys, I'm Josh. I'm a doctor at a Doctor House... something you guys call a Hospital!
Ha-ha!
THEME SONG
Scrubs!
We're here to fix you and your stuff!
Scrubs!
We'll fix you up and make you tough!
Scrubs!
We're sorry if we're a little rough!
It's... Scrubs! We're the doctors at the Doctor House!
JOSH (voice-over): Scrubs, Episode 5: Am I The Ledgendary Doctor Genius? If I'm the Ledgendaery Doctor Genius, I could cure cancer or maybe even AIDS. Well, probably not AIDS, but maybe cancer!
FADE IN on JOSH, DOCTOR, and NURSE ANN sitting in a library. They are reading Library Books. (laughter)
JOSH: Man, all this reading be stupid! Why we be reading these stupid books!
DOCTOR: We gotsta figure out if you's be the Ledgenderery Doctor Genius, Josh!
NURSE ANN: I'm reading fasion magazine, because girl (laughter)
DOCTOR: Sheesh, Nurse Ann! Why don't you not help out at all! (laughter)
NURSE ANN: Hey, don't expect me to help! I'm on my period! (laughter)
JOSH: This library suck, where's all the beer (laughter)
DOCTOR: They don't have beer at this library JOsh this is one of those Jesus Librarys at a church where you can't have any fun
JOSH: Son of a bitch well do we know if I'm the ledgendarey doctor's genius man yet
DOCTOR: Well this book says to see we have to go visit a special monk who lives in the most remote place, that there is, in the world
JOSH: Where would that possibly be
DOCTOR: Milwaukee!
NURSE ANN: Oh fuck that I'm not going
NEXT SCENE JOSH and DOCTOR are singing and running arm-in-arm down a the street, but it's not a regular street, it's Milwaukee Street (in MIlwakue).
JOSH: Josh!
DOCTOR: The Doctor!
JOSH and DOCTOR: Josh and Doctor Incorporated! (get it, this is like the Laverne and Shirley theme song)
JOSH and DOCTOR are eating a cake.
JOSH and DOCTOR: Give us any cake, we'll share it!
JOSH and DOCTOR high five each other.
JOSH and DOCTOR: Any tonstils, we'll repare it!
JOSH and DOCTOR walk into a restaurant named ALL YOU CAN EATS A SEAFOOD.
JOSH and DOCTOR: We're gonna eat a lot of Food!
JOSH and DOCTOR are shown but now they are really fat, like in the that Weird Al video
JOSH and DOCTOR: Oh look at our weight! (laughter)
JOSH: Wait, what are we eating a foods for? We came here and it's to find out if I'm the doctor ledgendary doctor genius.
DOCTOR: Oh that's right. Why I oughta! (laughter)
NOW the next scene, JOSH and DOCTOR walk up to a door, and they knock it.
MAN: Coming! says the man
HMAN opens the door and says
MAN: Why hello why are you guys doing here
JOSH: We're here to see if you're if I'm the ledgendarye doctor genius.
MAN: No you aren't (audience boos)
JOSH: Are you sure? We're here to see if I'm the ldengery doctor's genius. (laughter)
MAN: What ae you talking about. I don't know what you are talking about. What are you talking about. Please get off of my house. Property. NOW! he yells
JOSH and DOCTOR run away
JOSH: Well what the was that, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh I guess that's not what the book said at all, it said somewhere else... Somewhere we'll have to wait and to visit.... NEXT EPISODE
TO BE CONTINUED says the screen on it
FADE TO BLACK
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
FADE TO BLACK
TO BE CONTINUED says the screen on it
FADE TO BLACK again
CREDITS ROLL