(no subject)
How Hollywood Keeps Fuckin' Me Over! Part Two
SCRUBS
By
Sean Stapleton
April 25 1998
JOSH (voice-over): Hey, guys, I'm Josh. I'm a doctor at a Doctor House... something you guys call a Hospital!
Ha-ha!
THEME SONG
Scrubs!
We're here to fix you and your stuff!
Scrubs!
We'll fix you up and make you tough!
Scrubs!
We're sorry if we're a little rough!
It's... Scrubs! We're the doctors at the Doctor House!
JOSH (voice-over): Scrubs, Episode 2: My First Surgery! In the last episode, they decided I'm a Doctor! That's some nuts!
FADE IN on DOCTOR and JOSH sitting in a DOCTOR ROOM.
DOCTOR: This is what we call a Doctor Room, Josh.
JOSH: A Doctor Room? Don't you mean an Operates Room?
DOCTOR: No, I mean Doctor Room. That's the way it rolls in the Doctor House. (laughter)
JOSH: No diggity! (laughter)
DOCTOR: Well, come here, it's time for you meet Nurse Ann.
JOSH: Nurse Ann! Sounds like a girl! Sweet! (laughter)
DOCTOR: Josh, this is Nurse Ann
NURSE ANN: Hello, Josh. I heard you're new doctor, in this joint. That's radical,
JOSH: Yeah I'm pretty new hear, they just drew me out of a hat
NURSE ANN: Well Josh I need you to perform this new sergery we got to do
JOSH: Surgery! But I'm new here!
NURSE ANN: Yeah thaet's true, you're new out of a hat!
JOSH: Out of hat? More like a FISH out of WATER! (laughter)
NURSE ANN: Come this way, Josh! We're gonna put your balls on the grill! (audience gasps)
JOSH follows NURSE ANN into another Doctor Room. Inside the room is a giant fat man who is fat.
FAT: Hey, Josh! I heard you're the new daoctor in this joinp
JOSH: How'd you know my name. Oh I guess they put it on CNN because I'm doctor.
FAT: THat's right.
JOSH: Wow, I'm totally famous! Thats sweet
FAT: Well, my names Fat Pete.
JOSH: Pleased to meet you Fat Pete! (audience collectively farts)
FAT PETE: Well Josh Now that you're got here I need you to tonstils my repare my tonstils they are broken and in need of a repare
JOSH: Such a complex surgery for my very first surgery! I have't even surgeryed before (laughter)
FAT PETE: I have faith in you Josh just trust youre self and you will do fine
JOSH: I've never surgeryed though how do i Trust myself
FAT PETE: Never surgeyered before?! What's all this business! That's crazy, how are you going to surgery Nurse Ann's broken tonstils repare then
JOSH: Nurse AnN!? (JOsh blusehs)
NURSE ANN: Josh, they surgery is done, you completed it with out even looking. Your an amazing doctor, Doctor Josh.
JOSH: Doctor Josh, huh. I like the sound of that, you should always call me that.
NURSE ANN: What did you say Josh. (laughter) Let's go, we've got more surgery to go. IN the drive thru
JOSH: Sheesh! Can't a guy catch a fuckin' break! (laughter)
CREDITS ROLL
SCRUBS
By
Sean Stapleton
April 25 1998
JOSH (voice-over): Hey, guys, I'm Josh. I'm a doctor at a Doctor House... something you guys call a Hospital!
Ha-ha!
THEME SONG
Scrubs!
We're here to fix you and your stuff!
Scrubs!
We'll fix you up and make you tough!
Scrubs!
We're sorry if we're a little rough!
It's... Scrubs! We're the doctors at the Doctor House!
JOSH (voice-over): Scrubs, Episode 2: My First Surgery! In the last episode, they decided I'm a Doctor! That's some nuts!
FADE IN on DOCTOR and JOSH sitting in a DOCTOR ROOM.
DOCTOR: This is what we call a Doctor Room, Josh.
JOSH: A Doctor Room? Don't you mean an Operates Room?
DOCTOR: No, I mean Doctor Room. That's the way it rolls in the Doctor House. (laughter)
JOSH: No diggity! (laughter)
DOCTOR: Well, come here, it's time for you meet Nurse Ann.
JOSH: Nurse Ann! Sounds like a girl! Sweet! (laughter)
DOCTOR: Josh, this is Nurse Ann
NURSE ANN: Hello, Josh. I heard you're new doctor, in this joint. That's radical,
JOSH: Yeah I'm pretty new hear, they just drew me out of a hat
NURSE ANN: Well Josh I need you to perform this new sergery we got to do
JOSH: Surgery! But I'm new here!
NURSE ANN: Yeah thaet's true, you're new out of a hat!
JOSH: Out of hat? More like a FISH out of WATER! (laughter)
NURSE ANN: Come this way, Josh! We're gonna put your balls on the grill! (audience gasps)
JOSH follows NURSE ANN into another Doctor Room. Inside the room is a giant fat man who is fat.
FAT: Hey, Josh! I heard you're the new daoctor in this joinp
JOSH: How'd you know my name. Oh I guess they put it on CNN because I'm doctor.
FAT: THat's right.
JOSH: Wow, I'm totally famous! Thats sweet
FAT: Well, my names Fat Pete.
JOSH: Pleased to meet you Fat Pete! (audience collectively farts)
FAT PETE: Well Josh Now that you're got here I need you to tonstils my repare my tonstils they are broken and in need of a repare
JOSH: Such a complex surgery for my very first surgery! I have't even surgeryed before (laughter)
FAT PETE: I have faith in you Josh just trust youre self and you will do fine
JOSH: I've never surgeryed though how do i Trust myself
FAT PETE: Never surgeyered before?! What's all this business! That's crazy, how are you going to surgery Nurse Ann's broken tonstils repare then
JOSH: Nurse AnN!? (JOsh blusehs)
NURSE ANN: Josh, they surgery is done, you completed it with out even looking. Your an amazing doctor, Doctor Josh.
JOSH: Doctor Josh, huh. I like the sound of that, you should always call me that.
NURSE ANN: What did you say Josh. (laughter) Let's go, we've got more surgery to go. IN the drive thru
JOSH: Sheesh! Can't a guy catch a fuckin' break! (laughter)
CREDITS ROLL