Okay, so I was going to make this a life update, but for now I feel the need to bitch about something petty, and if anywhere is the place to do that, it's livejournal
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well i think anytime you bring up misogyny or some form of feminism it gets tricky to not get rid of feeling illegitimate or irrational because i really do believe that we are trained in society to believe that these things are figments of our imagination. or that people don't do them intentionally therefore saying anything qualifies overreacting. personally i believe that is bullshit. it's by allowing people to not have hurt feelings that these patterns continue. it's not to say that they're bad people but they've hurt your feelings too by doing these things so it's fair to say that if it hurts you then it's fair to voice the reasons why without worrying about what anyone else thinks. second i would dare say that perhaps part of the reason is because you are shyer. i mean i think that sometimes when the more feminine partner is dominant and outgoing there are times when things like thank yous are simply addressed to her and the masculine partner added as an after-thought just as a comfort level kind-of thing. that said i don't really know your situation that well so it's just a guess. i wish i could help think of an idea how to address the issue but it's kindof tricky to bring up. but you're a smart and awfully tactful kid, so i'm sure you'll think of something far more thoughtful than i would anyway.
Rhea- Thank you for being so validating. It's so easy to feel all hysterical and bitchy because I'm voicing these things. I do think you're right about me being shyer- I think about that a lot, especially because Luka is so good at connecting with people and nurturing positive relationships with them quickly (something that I struggle with) It's possible that Luka is perceived as the partner who is socially more visible and therefore is addressed first by people who met us at the same time. I don't know, so far, I'm still out of ideas as to how to bring this up with people. It's not a conversation that would pull on my social strengths, that's for sure.
second i would dare say that perhaps part of the reason is because you are shyer. i mean i think that sometimes when the more feminine partner is dominant and outgoing there are times when things like thank yous are simply addressed to her and the masculine partner added as an after-thought just as a comfort level kind-of thing. that said i don't really know your situation that well so it's just a guess.
i wish i could help think of an idea how to address the issue but it's kindof tricky to bring up. but you're a smart and awfully tactful kid, so i'm sure you'll think of something far more thoughtful than i would anyway.
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I don't know, so far, I'm still out of ideas as to how to bring this up with people. It's not a conversation that would pull on my social strengths, that's for sure.
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