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What up?!?! So, yeah, life has been a little fucked up right now. I am seriously over-stressing school right now. I am freaking out because I've got all these papers and stuff due in these next 2 weeks of school. I'm not behind on anything nor have I run out of time or anything like that. My mind is just in 40 different places at one time. A lady that I worked with named Dena died Monday. She was really quiet about her personal life, but she's had cancer in the past and we assume that it came back...and really strong. I cant be at her funeral on Friday because I'll be out of town (For Thanksgiving). I hope she knows that I miss her regardless of the fact that I cant be there and that she is one of the greatest people I've ever met. I am trying to get this book that I need to read and have a paper for by December 8th. If you turn it in early (IE: December 2nd), you get 10 extra points. Honestly, I dont really need the points but it looks really good when you've got like...a 99% or something. While going crazy trying to find this book, I hit a pole in the parking lot of Barnes and Noble. No other cars were around, and I wasnt going that fast, and neither the car nor I was hurt too bad (just shaken up, I guess)...but it was just the culmination of so many things at one time that I just lost it. I called Jason after I checked the damage (something yellow that sticks out from the light poles thats about a foot long was sticking out of the front bumper) and I just cried hysterically until he came to get me. I just vented about being stressed out and how bad I needed this book before I got myself into too much trouble with school and how I am pissed about all these group projects and so so so many papers and Thanksgiving is now changed forever because I dont leave with my family Wednesday afternoon to go to Indianapolis, but I am leaving tomorrow after we go to Jason's sister's house first. So I'm trying to juggle this new life and old traditions. It was just such a twisted mess. Things weren't bad, honestly, not as bad as my life has been in the past, BY FAR. It was just about me trying to do too many things at one time and getting bent out of shape about...Life. I just got great news about 1 minute ago: the book I rushed around Cincinnati to find is at Joseph Beth, waiting for me to pick it up. See, things arent always as bad at they seem.
Thanksgiving should be a nice event, as always. Jason's family draws names for gifts. I have been invited to draw. I think I will do that, seeing as how I think its a big deal when they invite someone new into this family tradition. Jason used the words "Now that you're a part of the family...". I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that idea. I mean, I am, but I'm not. Not to jinx the relationship or anything (knock on wood), but, what if things dont turn out and we break up? I mean, thats going to be tough to think "Well, I guess she's out of the family now". I take that back: it's going to be hard for ME to think that. I dont know if they'd give 2 shits if I was there or not. Not that they dont care at all, but you know how people can be. "A girl here, a girl there: We just cant keep up!" After Thanksgiving "lunch" there, we are driving up to Indianapolis for the usual Thanksgiving. Everyone seems to be okay with the fact that things are changing, except my sister. She HATES change and she isnt make this easy for me at all. She always asks "Why does he have to come to everything? Can't he just stay home with his family and you come with us? I mean, thats what we've always done!" I wish Lauren would sit and think about what she's saying before she says it. Does she think that things are always going to be like this? We always go to work whenever we want, we just take off from whatever and go to concerts, we "live from paycheck to paycheck", and we just say "Fuck it" and drive to Starbucks even if we're late for some event. It's not always going to be about me and her. I mean, what about children and husbands and stuff like that? She thinks that I'm leaving her or something, and its not anything like that. Jason's not trying to take me away from my family or anything like that. We always encourage Lauren to come with us places or come over and order pizza and watch a movie. She is just too busy thinking about me and her. I see her everyday...I mean E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! I just wish that she would try to think about someone other than herself for just once. Besides, she's got all her other friends to go and do things with too. I think she's getting over it now...but she needs to stop acting so needy and overly hurt about this. Its not changing anytime soon, so she should learn to deal...RIGHT?!?!
Anyway, this is life as I know it. Got to get ready for Physical Therapy and picking up this book and packing and packing and packing...but all in good time.
Love always,
Sonja
Thanksgiving should be a nice event, as always. Jason's family draws names for gifts. I have been invited to draw. I think I will do that, seeing as how I think its a big deal when they invite someone new into this family tradition. Jason used the words "Now that you're a part of the family...". I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that idea. I mean, I am, but I'm not. Not to jinx the relationship or anything (knock on wood), but, what if things dont turn out and we break up? I mean, thats going to be tough to think "Well, I guess she's out of the family now". I take that back: it's going to be hard for ME to think that. I dont know if they'd give 2 shits if I was there or not. Not that they dont care at all, but you know how people can be. "A girl here, a girl there: We just cant keep up!" After Thanksgiving "lunch" there, we are driving up to Indianapolis for the usual Thanksgiving. Everyone seems to be okay with the fact that things are changing, except my sister. She HATES change and she isnt make this easy for me at all. She always asks "Why does he have to come to everything? Can't he just stay home with his family and you come with us? I mean, thats what we've always done!" I wish Lauren would sit and think about what she's saying before she says it. Does she think that things are always going to be like this? We always go to work whenever we want, we just take off from whatever and go to concerts, we "live from paycheck to paycheck", and we just say "Fuck it" and drive to Starbucks even if we're late for some event. It's not always going to be about me and her. I mean, what about children and husbands and stuff like that? She thinks that I'm leaving her or something, and its not anything like that. Jason's not trying to take me away from my family or anything like that. We always encourage Lauren to come with us places or come over and order pizza and watch a movie. She is just too busy thinking about me and her. I see her everyday...I mean E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y! I just wish that she would try to think about someone other than herself for just once. Besides, she's got all her other friends to go and do things with too. I think she's getting over it now...but she needs to stop acting so needy and overly hurt about this. Its not changing anytime soon, so she should learn to deal...RIGHT?!?!
Anyway, this is life as I know it. Got to get ready for Physical Therapy and picking up this book and packing and packing and packing...but all in good time.
Love always,
Sonja