Counting Tears (2)
Counting Tears, 2: Strength
“This was their first performance after the disbandment rumors. However, TVXQ gave a performance that made it feel as if they were not affected by the bad rumors that have been going around.”
~ Asahi Newspaper, on TVXQ’s live performance at the Tokyo Meiji Jingu Shrine Fireworks Festival
Their dressing room is packed with dancers and AVEX staff who keep to themselves, allowing the three Tohoshinki members in the room as much breathing space as they need. Though Jaejoong appreciates the thoughtfulness, he kind of wishes for the distraction conversation would allow. Changmin sits across from him, even quieter than usual, and Junsu’s about to drive the both of them crazy with his constant pacing.
Back and forth. Back and forth.
Changmin finally reaches out a hand, takes hold of Junsu’s wrist to stop the movement. His face darkens in a worried frown. “Junsu-hyung,” he says, “you’re shaking.”
Junsu tugs his wrist free. “Just nerves, Changminnie, you know how I get before a performance.”
“I do.” Changmin grants, “and this is not it.”
Junsu tries to laugh off the observation, but Jaejoong and Changmin both pick up the strain beneath the sound.
“Junsu-yah?” Jaejoong reaches out only to have Junsu shy away.
“Where’s Yoochunnie?” The tenor asks, almost desperately. “I’ll go look for him.”
He practically runs out of the dressing room, with Changmin and Jaejoong staring anxiously after him. Changmin heaves himself out of his seat, burdens that aren’t even his weighing the maknae down. He shoots Jaejoong a brave smile, trying to reassure the older man. “Don’t worry, Hyung, I’ll go and make sure he’s all right.”
Jaejoong hates what this situation with SME is doing to his dongsaeng-deul. He feels the unfairness of it pressing in all around him and stands up with an unsteady breath, onto uncertain legs, needing Yunho.
Jaejoong leaves the dressing room and turns a corner, looking for the empty room that the event staff allowed Yunho to use for his prayer time. He comes upon Changmin and Junsu, hovering in an open doorway.
“Changminnie?” Jaejoong questions, only to have Changmin raise serious eyes toward the eldest with a finger held up to his lips for silence. Jaejoong thinks he hears Junsu sniffling.
He pads quietly over to stand beside them, peeking into the room to see Yoochun in Yunho’s embrace. The taller man’s head is bent low, whispering into Yoochun’s ear, while the baritone sniffs and burrows closer. Jaejoong swallows down the lump forming in his throat, because he knows from experience (they all do) that nothing feels quite as comforting as Yunho’s arms. He watches as Yunho’s hands come up to brush gently at Yoochun’s tears, catching the moisture in large palms again and again with infinite patience and understanding. Yoochun finally nods at whatever it is he’s being told, making the leader smile.
“Junsu-yah. Changminnie.” Yunho invites, his arms opening up to include the youngest two. They respond quickly, joining Yunho to wrap around Yoochun in love and comfort.
Jaejoong is mesmerized. The moment, damn near magical…...
……for all of five seconds before Junsu shrieks, “Yah! Changmin-ah, watch your elbow!”
“How do you even know it was me?” Comes the dry rebuke from Changmin. “It could’ve been Yoochun-hyung.”
“Yoochunnie’s elbows are bony. The one that hit me was meaty.” Junsu justifies imperiously.
Yoochun blinks the lingering tears from his vision, feeling offended. “Yah! Who you calling bony, duck-butt?”
Junsu squeaks indignantly, “Duck-butt!”
Changmin doubles over in laughter, clapping spastically. "Try being called meaty!"
Yunho disentangles himself from the three and makes his way over to the eldest with a smile. Jaejoong watches the younger three in acute fascination as they tumble to the ground in an impromptu wrestling match, still calling each other names, the melancholy from just minutes ago seemingly forgotten.
“How do you do that?” Jaejoong breathes, turning to Yunho with hearts in his eyes, like he thinks TVXQ’s leader is Superman or Goku or someone equally awesome at saving the planet exactly when you need them to.
“Do what?” Yunho asks, pulling Jaejoong’s back to his front and turning them so that they can continue to be amused by the antics of YooSuMin.
“Fix us,” Jaejoong clarifies, “whenever we get broken.”
Yunho settles in, one arm looping around Jaejoong’s neck, the other wrapping tightly around a slim waist, chin finding a broad shoulder; Yunho’s most favorite place in the whole wide world. “No fixing to be done,” Leader-shi imparts wisely, “since we’re never really broken. All I have to do is remind us of that fact every now and then.”
Unbreakable, Jaejoong realizes, and smiles at the truth of that. He leans back into the body behind him, the next breath he takes steadier than the one before.
A stagehand sticks his head into the room, gaze pausing on YooSuMin for a brief second, before turning to Yunho and Jaejoong to tell them that Tohoshinki is on in fifteen minutes. He ducks back out of the room as abruptly as he had entered. The youngest three lay frozen, splayed out all over the dressing room floor, staring after the retreating stagehand in mortified silence.
Yunho smothers a laugh in Jaejoong’s neck, Jaejoong giggles at the feel of it and from the look on his dongsaeng-deul’s faces. It starts a chain reaction. Yoochun snorts into his hand and Changmin snickers. Junsu looks blank for a few seconds before he suddenly rolls onto his side, eu kyang kyang sweeping loud and happy over the other four.
Changmin gets to his feet, takes them all in with a smile that’s nothing like the one he forced out for Jaejoong earlier. This time it’s easy and real. He says into the fading mirth, “U-know Yunho…fighting!”
It startles another bark of amusement from Yoochun, who catches on fast. He pushes himself from the ground, stands, and takes up the old, familiar mantra without hesitation, “Choikang Changmin…fighting!”
From the side of his vision Jaejoong catches Yunho smirking like he owns the entire universe, or really just Jaejoong’s. “Youngwoong Jaejoong…fighting!” Yunho exhales into the lead singer’s ear.
Jaejoong shivers and can’t stop the grin that’s spreading. He doesn’t really want to try. He meets Yoochun’s eyes across the room and says, “Micky Yoochun…fighting!”
The four of them automatically turn in silent agreement toward the door, leaving behind Junsu, who’s bounded hastily to his feet with a determined fist raised in the air as a solitary cheer leaves his lips. “Xiah Junsu…fighting!”
Yoochun is the first to turn back, of course, before the other three follow, converging on Junsu with hugs and even more laughter spilling through the dressing room door as powerful and as completely in tune as one of their ballads.
The stagehand comes back again, stumbling in the doorway this time, affected by the sheer presence the five of them create when together. “O - on in ten.” He reminds them. They turn to him as one, smiles on their faces and in their eyes, and the stagehand finds himself blinking against the brilliance.
They nod and file past him, out of the room. They meet up with their dancers backstage and huddle together for their customary chant, hands meeting in the middle, all with one common goal. “Toho - toho - Tohoshinki, fight-o!” They break and head for the stage, like the professionals they are.
Jaejoong breathes out, taking one sure step after another with his brothers beside him.
TVXQ, he thinks, FIGHTING!
3: Hope | 4: Peace | 5: Love
“This was their first performance after the disbandment rumors. However, TVXQ gave a performance that made it feel as if they were not affected by the bad rumors that have been going around.”
~ Asahi Newspaper, on TVXQ’s live performance at the Tokyo Meiji Jingu Shrine Fireworks Festival
Their dressing room is packed with dancers and AVEX staff who keep to themselves, allowing the three Tohoshinki members in the room as much breathing space as they need. Though Jaejoong appreciates the thoughtfulness, he kind of wishes for the distraction conversation would allow. Changmin sits across from him, even quieter than usual, and Junsu’s about to drive the both of them crazy with his constant pacing.
Back and forth. Back and forth.
Changmin finally reaches out a hand, takes hold of Junsu’s wrist to stop the movement. His face darkens in a worried frown. “Junsu-hyung,” he says, “you’re shaking.”
Junsu tugs his wrist free. “Just nerves, Changminnie, you know how I get before a performance.”
“I do.” Changmin grants, “and this is not it.”
Junsu tries to laugh off the observation, but Jaejoong and Changmin both pick up the strain beneath the sound.
“Junsu-yah?” Jaejoong reaches out only to have Junsu shy away.
“Where’s Yoochunnie?” The tenor asks, almost desperately. “I’ll go look for him.”
He practically runs out of the dressing room, with Changmin and Jaejoong staring anxiously after him. Changmin heaves himself out of his seat, burdens that aren’t even his weighing the maknae down. He shoots Jaejoong a brave smile, trying to reassure the older man. “Don’t worry, Hyung, I’ll go and make sure he’s all right.”
Jaejoong hates what this situation with SME is doing to his dongsaeng-deul. He feels the unfairness of it pressing in all around him and stands up with an unsteady breath, onto uncertain legs, needing Yunho.
Jaejoong leaves the dressing room and turns a corner, looking for the empty room that the event staff allowed Yunho to use for his prayer time. He comes upon Changmin and Junsu, hovering in an open doorway.
“Changminnie?” Jaejoong questions, only to have Changmin raise serious eyes toward the eldest with a finger held up to his lips for silence. Jaejoong thinks he hears Junsu sniffling.
He pads quietly over to stand beside them, peeking into the room to see Yoochun in Yunho’s embrace. The taller man’s head is bent low, whispering into Yoochun’s ear, while the baritone sniffs and burrows closer. Jaejoong swallows down the lump forming in his throat, because he knows from experience (they all do) that nothing feels quite as comforting as Yunho’s arms. He watches as Yunho’s hands come up to brush gently at Yoochun’s tears, catching the moisture in large palms again and again with infinite patience and understanding. Yoochun finally nods at whatever it is he’s being told, making the leader smile.
“Junsu-yah. Changminnie.” Yunho invites, his arms opening up to include the youngest two. They respond quickly, joining Yunho to wrap around Yoochun in love and comfort.
Jaejoong is mesmerized. The moment, damn near magical…...
……for all of five seconds before Junsu shrieks, “Yah! Changmin-ah, watch your elbow!”
“How do you even know it was me?” Comes the dry rebuke from Changmin. “It could’ve been Yoochun-hyung.”
“Yoochunnie’s elbows are bony. The one that hit me was meaty.” Junsu justifies imperiously.
Yoochun blinks the lingering tears from his vision, feeling offended. “Yah! Who you calling bony, duck-butt?”
Junsu squeaks indignantly, “Duck-butt!”
Changmin doubles over in laughter, clapping spastically. "Try being called meaty!"
Yunho disentangles himself from the three and makes his way over to the eldest with a smile. Jaejoong watches the younger three in acute fascination as they tumble to the ground in an impromptu wrestling match, still calling each other names, the melancholy from just minutes ago seemingly forgotten.
“How do you do that?” Jaejoong breathes, turning to Yunho with hearts in his eyes, like he thinks TVXQ’s leader is Superman or Goku or someone equally awesome at saving the planet exactly when you need them to.
“Do what?” Yunho asks, pulling Jaejoong’s back to his front and turning them so that they can continue to be amused by the antics of YooSuMin.
“Fix us,” Jaejoong clarifies, “whenever we get broken.”
Yunho settles in, one arm looping around Jaejoong’s neck, the other wrapping tightly around a slim waist, chin finding a broad shoulder; Yunho’s most favorite place in the whole wide world. “No fixing to be done,” Leader-shi imparts wisely, “since we’re never really broken. All I have to do is remind us of that fact every now and then.”
Unbreakable, Jaejoong realizes, and smiles at the truth of that. He leans back into the body behind him, the next breath he takes steadier than the one before.
A stagehand sticks his head into the room, gaze pausing on YooSuMin for a brief second, before turning to Yunho and Jaejoong to tell them that Tohoshinki is on in fifteen minutes. He ducks back out of the room as abruptly as he had entered. The youngest three lay frozen, splayed out all over the dressing room floor, staring after the retreating stagehand in mortified silence.
Yunho smothers a laugh in Jaejoong’s neck, Jaejoong giggles at the feel of it and from the look on his dongsaeng-deul’s faces. It starts a chain reaction. Yoochun snorts into his hand and Changmin snickers. Junsu looks blank for a few seconds before he suddenly rolls onto his side, eu kyang kyang sweeping loud and happy over the other four.
Changmin gets to his feet, takes them all in with a smile that’s nothing like the one he forced out for Jaejoong earlier. This time it’s easy and real. He says into the fading mirth, “U-know Yunho…fighting!”
It startles another bark of amusement from Yoochun, who catches on fast. He pushes himself from the ground, stands, and takes up the old, familiar mantra without hesitation, “Choikang Changmin…fighting!”
From the side of his vision Jaejoong catches Yunho smirking like he owns the entire universe, or really just Jaejoong’s. “Youngwoong Jaejoong…fighting!” Yunho exhales into the lead singer’s ear.
Jaejoong shivers and can’t stop the grin that’s spreading. He doesn’t really want to try. He meets Yoochun’s eyes across the room and says, “Micky Yoochun…fighting!”
The four of them automatically turn in silent agreement toward the door, leaving behind Junsu, who’s bounded hastily to his feet with a determined fist raised in the air as a solitary cheer leaves his lips. “Xiah Junsu…fighting!”
Yoochun is the first to turn back, of course, before the other three follow, converging on Junsu with hugs and even more laughter spilling through the dressing room door as powerful and as completely in tune as one of their ballads.
The stagehand comes back again, stumbling in the doorway this time, affected by the sheer presence the five of them create when together. “O - on in ten.” He reminds them. They turn to him as one, smiles on their faces and in their eyes, and the stagehand finds himself blinking against the brilliance.
They nod and file past him, out of the room. They meet up with their dancers backstage and huddle together for their customary chant, hands meeting in the middle, all with one common goal. “Toho - toho - Tohoshinki, fight-o!” They break and head for the stage, like the professionals they are.
Jaejoong breathes out, taking one sure step after another with his brothers beside him.
TVXQ, he thinks, FIGHTING!
3: Hope | 4: Peace | 5: Love