A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
It's always so hard to think of a way to start a journal post these days. I always feel that to keep someone interested , I need to have some kind of "hook" right away that will peak their curiosity and cause them to continue reading my endless rants and not just skim thru looking for their names. That being said, I really have no proper intro for this post..so I'll just get it over with..
Today I went for a walk.
I was in need of supplies to help alleviate stress and thus, so my destination was the local smoke shop.Normally I'd drive, especially on such a hot day such as this, but for some reason I was compelled to clear my head and bear with the sun and heat, in an attempt to maybe come to some sort of resolution with some issues I'm dealing with right now.
As I embarked out my door, I didn't really put much thought into how far the journey was, my head was too filled with thoughts and contemplations. The crooked sidewalks between home and the shop radiated the reflected sunlight onto my face all too appropriately as conclusions were drawn about paths I should be focused on, and what steps I need to take to get there.
It's safe to say that I have a lot on my mind. Most of which I don't even know how to express outside of my own thoughts. If i were to try, I'd most likely come off more psychotic than I already do.
I realized that my life is all too routine. I have a very predictable day in/day out life that operates like clockwork. I'm going to work on that. I need some variety in my actions, and to drastically decrease my predictability.
I do know I'm socially closed off, and thats not about to change. The large amounts of aggravation that come from being too vocal regarding situations in or around my life just don't make it worth it. I think I'll maintain a vague shadow in the eyes of curious on-lookers for as long as I can.
The rest of my conclusions, I guess will be expressed thru actions, since I cant figure out how to put them into comprehensible words.
Oh..and one last detail of my life that 4 people in history have ever known... I have a habit that I've kept secret for longer than any of you have even know me.Years in fact. Looking back, I'm glad I've maintained this secret hobby, and I'm going to continue doing so until I'm physically unable to do so.
I still have 2 "fun" posts to make, I'll get around to it...I just figured I'd shed a bit of insight on a day where I feel some self improvement was achieved.