Family
((Reposted from HERE))
"Hi."I watched her face carefully, but it was hard to read her. Maybe I was out of practice, maybe she was just really good at hiding it - heck, maybe it was both or maybe I had never been able to really understand all the inner workings of Tara - who knew ( Read more... )
"Hi."I watched her face carefully, but it was hard to read her. Maybe I was out of practice, maybe she was just really good at hiding it - heck, maybe it was both or maybe I had never been able to really understand all the inner workings of Tara - who knew ( Read more... )
I sighed, half smiling, though my eyes sparkled with a depth of sadness I never could feel. I laughed, just a small, ghost of a laugh.
"Oh, no, that's definitely what I thought too." The ghost of my laugh whispered away into the trace of a smile, which then faded to the grim reality of how it was exactly what I thought it was. "But I, um, I think we both know that it's exactly what I think it is." I said more seriously. "What I know it is." I corrected myself.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... things have been hard without you. The effect you had on everyone was... important. Not just Willow, not just Dawn. ere isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what you said to me. When my Mom..."
I smiled, just a little, nodding once more, remembering those first few moments in which Buffy and I had connected.
"Was it sudden?" She asked, out of the blue ( ... )
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My eyes widened in surprise at her, since very rarely had I seen Tara this angry, but my mouth just opened and answered all of her questions. "I don't know! No, we didn't do this on purpose, it just happened so fast! First with Angel and losing his soul forever and..." Oh God. I was going to start crying soon just remembering how everything had started, how we'd gotten to this precarious place that if we all weren't careful, we'd lose.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, just as I heard Tara answer back to me, "I'm sorry." I laughed a little, nodding, before I added, "Jinx." Off her look, I tried to explain, "Y'know, jinx? You say the same thing at once so... you say... ok, nevermind." It didn't matter. I'm not exactly sure why I always felt this need to joke during the times when everything felt like it was pressing down on my heart, bruising and hurting me ( ... )
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"I don't know how anymore," I sobbed before she pulled me into an embrace that was far too familiar. My mind wandered back to when she'd stroked my hair as I'd cried in her lap about Spike, about me, about everything I'd felt was wrong... I didn't deserve forgiveness then, and I was positive I shouldn't get it now. But her hug...
This was why Tara was back, I thought briefly as I clung to her.
"Unless the Gentleman are back, and hearts are being ripped out, no one's going to take the light from us."
I laughed into the silk of her hair and nodded as she pulled away from me. I was so drained at this point... How fair was it of me to ask this much of Tara when I had come to her trying to make sure she was ok ( ... )
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Oh.
Oh, that's right. There's the truth spell. My rapid fire questions maybe hadn't been asked at the best of times, considering rapid fire questions such as those are usually more statement, than question, but the provision was that we were to answer whatever it was we were asked, so questions we considered statements, didn't count.
It's not enough to live a life of good intentions. You have to be who and what you say you are, what those intentions intend for.
I looked down for a moment, letting my hair fall into my face as I soaked in the words of Angel losing his soul. Forever.
I used to know what that word meant.
Now I felt Buffy knew all too well just what it meant.
I heard her apology as my own was released out into the open space between us, followed by her laughter, and a quick; "Jinx."I was still so caught on losing the concept of forever, or gaining it, depending on where you standing, I ( ... )
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She looked up at me, and I tilted my head sympathetically, though pain filled my eyes. It was because of me. Because my ghost remained with them. And there were some means Buffy would not exhaust, if it meant protecting Willow.
"... because of you. I thought if I fought this, using... oh God, Tara, I don't even know what's right and what's wrong anymore."I shook my head, smiling as much as I could at her through our joint tears ( ... )
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I half-smiled at that. Maybe it was me, then. Maybe I was the jinx. How much good had I done here so far besides allowing others to die in battle before and - God help me - sometimes not even in battle? Sometimes... sometimes just dead. It was quite possible I was the jinx... and if that was the case? It was beyond time that I actually do something about it and stop concerning myself with... myself.
"Except th-that in the, um, the context? That you're using it in, it means when two people say the same thing, at the same time, and it places a-a temporary curse on both of them until one of them buys the other one a Coke or something to break it."My half-smile grew full-fledged as I grabbed Tara's hand and held it within mine, pulling her along to the kitchen. As we walked, we passed the ex-Dead People Board and a few new names listed as being MIA ( ... )
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Her words brought me back and I nodded quickly, our embrace turning into our little walk to the kitchen in search of Coke and limes. "Yup. Followed quickly by partying, of course. Which you'll find a lot of in this hotel, especially with all those potentials running around... oh! Reminds me. We "Senior Staff", so to speak, have all been assigned a potential to train. Carly's new around here, but she's got some untapped powers. Healing, so I've been told..."
"I want you to be her Watcher." Without taking a breath, just in case she wanted to protest, I continued. "No ifs, ands, or buts, Tara. After all, who better to train her than someone who already has the magic touch of healing?"
A tiny squeeze again as our fingers interlaced.
"You'll remember. Promise."Why did I believe her when she said it? I just nodded as I pushed open the doors to the kitchen, seeing Wes talking to Fred, and stayed over by our little side as I looked for the Coke to un-jinx us ( ... )
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I made a slight face.
"I-I'm not sure. This whole, putting the lime in the Coke, it must be a new thing, I guess." I said. "The last thing I remember, it was all about vanilla. Though, I've always been mostly preferential to cherry myself. Vanilla's sweet, and sort of sugary. But almost too much so. The cherry flavoring is just sweet enough, and it has this little kick, too. Which, I'm imagining lime does."
I rambled on about Coke, and the different flavorings one could put in it, as though I'd spent a summer or two working at a Sonic drive in.
I hadn't, but it did seem neat.
Well, if you weren't me, all awkward on skates, and completely unable to balance an armful of books, let alone a tray full of icy, sugary concoctions.
The insinuation of my preference to the cherry flavoring caught up with me on the occasion of a certain look from Buffy, and I felt myself ( ... )
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