Blue Rhino Review
You know you want it. You know you need it. You know you set your clock by it, and are subsequently always late. It’s time for more comic book reviews…
Ultimate Fantastic Four #44
Have I told you how much I love Mike Carey? Not in that Joe Casey man-crush kind of way, but in the “boy, can this guy write” kind of way.
Silver Surfer? Check. Silver Surfer being cool? Check. Ultimate Reed Richards acting like the Ultimate Reed Richards? Double check.
This book is awesome. You should be reading it.
Doktor Sleepless #1
I have no idea what the fuck happened in this issue, but that doesn’t matter. Want to know why? The dialogue is amazing. Maybe this book will suck. Maybe it will be great. Maybe it’ll just be.
But reading the lines that Warren Ellis’ whiskey-addled brain comes up with are well worth the price of admission.
We should take a moment to pause here and note that, however brief they might be, there have been two reviews in the positive note. Am I in the right place? Is this really the Blue Rhino Review?
The Programme #1
Let’s start with I don’t know what the fuck happened in this issue, and I’ll second that with there not being the dialogue found in Doktor Sleepless.
But I still liked this book.
Was it C.P. Smith’s art? Yes. Was it Peter Milligan’s rampant anti-, well, anti-war and the United States lately? Check.
But really, it was the cover, wasn’t it? Check.
Grendel: Behold the Devil promo
Let me say that I love Grendel. I spent the better part of my childhood collecting this series, and finally found it all when ebay became synonymous with “hey, now I can find all that shit I’ve spent my whole childhood looking for”.
But this is to the people that want more Hunter Rose stories. Why? His story was already told, and well enough. Grendel isn’t Hunter Rose. Did anyone else read the 40+ issues of Grendel (I say 40+ since there are really 50, counting Warchild). Grendel isn’t Hunter Rose.
Grendel is Grendel. And it was beautiful.
The rest is just dressing, and I’m not a big fan of dressing on my salads.
Wait, I like dressing on my salads. That analogy doesn’t work. Crap.
I’ll just make it simple then. WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE HUNTER ROSE STORIES.
Hellblazer #234
Andy Diggle, you can do no wrong. At least not yet, but I’ve got my eye on you, buddy. Go ahead, screw up, I dare you. I double dare you.
Until then, I’ll just keep loving the ride.
All Star Batman #6
I understand the complaints about “the goddam Batman”, I really do. I should hate it to. I really, really should. I should hate the new and improved Republican Frank Miller. I really, really should.
But, goddamn this book is funny. Hy-larious, even.
The Goddamn Batman can kick the goddamn ass of any goddamn detractor of this book any goddamn time, and I’ll be right there behind him, not throwing a goddamn punch but still goddamn loving it.
Goddamn it.
X-Men #201
Remember how I said I loved Mike Carey before? Well, any love comes with its fair share of pain, and that pain would be the X-men book scribed by Mr. Carey.
It’s been a rocky road, up and down, give and take (and so much more has been taken than given), but, still, I’m willing to give the guy a chance.
And please, please, please, put Mr. Ramos on a book he can draw. I’m tired of this shit.
Captain America #28
This book still suffers from the death of Captain America, and not because it’s not still really, really damn good, but because the whole thing, just, overshadows everything.
I wish everyone else would stop paying attention to it and just let those of us that knew this book was fucking amazing from issue one continue to enjoy ourselves.
Cap is dead. Or he’s not. Or maybe he is, but he’ll come back. Who gives a damn? It couldn’t matter less to the story being told in this book, and if that’s not amazing, I don’t know what is.
Ultimate Spider-Man #111
I don’t even want to talk about this book.
Mark Bagley isn’t a “bad” artist, but he’s a house artist. Do you know what that means? He fills in where needed. He does the job, but he doesn’t break norms or defy the inevitable or anything clichéd. He’s just an allright guy that’s drawn 110 issues, and it’s sad to see him go for that feat alone, not because he’s the next coming of Dali or something.
Stuart Immonen, on the other hand, blows my mind. His style has grown and changed and always, always impresses me. I couldn’t be happier that he’s taking over this book. Maybe it’ll mean that I’ll be a little less bored with Bendis’ “clever” dialogue each month (which seems to mean that the story can go nowhere for months at a time, because we’re amused by dumb in-jokes and the like (crap, I write like that sometimes, what kind of asshole am I? I love writing in-jokes.)).
Whatever. This book is consistently worth buying, even if it isn’t necessarily consistently “good”.
But, despite my reservations and feelings of angst, I have nothing but the best wishes for Mr. Bagley. I grew up with him, and despite never liking his style, I respect his longevity. I’m not even really sure if that’s a compliment.
The Might Avengers #4
There’s so much wrong with this book, that I don’t even know where to begin to start. It’s going to take a whole review to discuss, someday soon.
So much wrong.
Wolverine #55
I guess I don’t know what I expected, but it was more than this. Maybe I should be happy, because, Mr. Loeb, that last nail I was looking for you to nail in so I could never buy one of your books again?
Thanks for pounding it with my $2.99.
Wolfsbane, Feral, Sasquatch. Sabretooth, Wolverine, Wildchild. A part of “history”. There can be only “two”. Some grand mastermind.
Do you remember Episodes I, II and III? Georgie-boy Lucas? Yeah, well, it sucked the life out of his movies and my childhood once already, thanks for doing it again.
The Walking Dead #39
Oh, fuck. It’s that Kirkman dude again. You know, the guy that sucks ass but somehow gets paid a shitload for it?
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
This book sucks. It royally sucks.
Some more people get bitten, some people maybe die, some shit happens, blah, blah, blah.
What’s the point anymore? I couldn’t tell you.
War? Famine? The human conditon?
You know what I say to that?
Fuck you, clown, fuck…you…
Oh, but if you like zombie shit, this is probably the book to pick up…
Black Summer # (1? 2?)
It’s part 2, issue 1, whatever. It’s been done before, it’s been told before, it’s been said before.
But, you know what? It’s never been done, told or said by Warren Ellis.
And that, my friend, is why you should stop what you’re doing right now, go out to your local comic shop (or LCS as the dorks online like to call it) and buy issues #0 (part 1) and issue #1 (part 2) right…the…fuck…now.
You won’t be disappointed, and if you haven’t read watchmen, FMDKR or any comic book since ’82, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
The Immortal Iron Fist #7
This book is written by two people. Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction. Ed Brubaker beat up Matt Fraction in high school.
If that’s not enough to get you to read this book, then I’ll tell you what, I’ll beat you up. I’ll even pinky-swear on it.
Batman #666
The mark of the beast. It’s confusing. It doesn’t make sense (unless you watched all these cool rapture movies I used to rent for free from the Christian bookstore in my hometown, and even then…).
This book makes little sense and has even less to do with continuity, but it’s damn fun. It’s damn Grant Morrison fun. Have I said enough?
All right, just buy it. It doesn’t make sense in the sense of the whole picture, but it has enough great Grant lines to leave you smiling well into next year.
Like Warren Ellis on whiskey, this is Grant Morrison on Grant. It’s just pure fun, and sometimes, that’s just enough.
So, now that the reviews are done, I have to say, I was overly impressed with this pull. Sure, I had some complaints, and sure, I was rather short in my reviews, but I had a lot to go through. And I’m watching Macguyver. It’s distracting. But I would still recommend buying any of these books (accept maybe the Kirkman crap, but that’s just because I hate him so, so much).
I guess I have to say that, in the end, this batch of books was pretty damn good. That’ll be the only time you see me writing that, so, you know, enjoy. I gave such short reviews because I think most of these books stand on their own, and are worth your checking out. It was a good two weeks (these were two weeks of reviews, by the way).
Just go buy some comic books, people. Please.
Ultimate Fantastic Four #44
Have I told you how much I love Mike Carey? Not in that Joe Casey man-crush kind of way, but in the “boy, can this guy write” kind of way.
Silver Surfer? Check. Silver Surfer being cool? Check. Ultimate Reed Richards acting like the Ultimate Reed Richards? Double check.
This book is awesome. You should be reading it.
Doktor Sleepless #1
I have no idea what the fuck happened in this issue, but that doesn’t matter. Want to know why? The dialogue is amazing. Maybe this book will suck. Maybe it will be great. Maybe it’ll just be.
But reading the lines that Warren Ellis’ whiskey-addled brain comes up with are well worth the price of admission.
We should take a moment to pause here and note that, however brief they might be, there have been two reviews in the positive note. Am I in the right place? Is this really the Blue Rhino Review?
The Programme #1
Let’s start with I don’t know what the fuck happened in this issue, and I’ll second that with there not being the dialogue found in Doktor Sleepless.
But I still liked this book.
Was it C.P. Smith’s art? Yes. Was it Peter Milligan’s rampant anti-, well, anti-war and the United States lately? Check.
But really, it was the cover, wasn’t it? Check.
Grendel: Behold the Devil promo
Let me say that I love Grendel. I spent the better part of my childhood collecting this series, and finally found it all when ebay became synonymous with “hey, now I can find all that shit I’ve spent my whole childhood looking for”.
But this is to the people that want more Hunter Rose stories. Why? His story was already told, and well enough. Grendel isn’t Hunter Rose. Did anyone else read the 40+ issues of Grendel (I say 40+ since there are really 50, counting Warchild). Grendel isn’t Hunter Rose.
Grendel is Grendel. And it was beautiful.
The rest is just dressing, and I’m not a big fan of dressing on my salads.
Wait, I like dressing on my salads. That analogy doesn’t work. Crap.
I’ll just make it simple then. WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE HUNTER ROSE STORIES.
Hellblazer #234
Andy Diggle, you can do no wrong. At least not yet, but I’ve got my eye on you, buddy. Go ahead, screw up, I dare you. I double dare you.
Until then, I’ll just keep loving the ride.
All Star Batman #6
I understand the complaints about “the goddam Batman”, I really do. I should hate it to. I really, really should. I should hate the new and improved Republican Frank Miller. I really, really should.
But, goddamn this book is funny. Hy-larious, even.
The Goddamn Batman can kick the goddamn ass of any goddamn detractor of this book any goddamn time, and I’ll be right there behind him, not throwing a goddamn punch but still goddamn loving it.
Goddamn it.
X-Men #201
Remember how I said I loved Mike Carey before? Well, any love comes with its fair share of pain, and that pain would be the X-men book scribed by Mr. Carey.
It’s been a rocky road, up and down, give and take (and so much more has been taken than given), but, still, I’m willing to give the guy a chance.
And please, please, please, put Mr. Ramos on a book he can draw. I’m tired of this shit.
Captain America #28
This book still suffers from the death of Captain America, and not because it’s not still really, really damn good, but because the whole thing, just, overshadows everything.
I wish everyone else would stop paying attention to it and just let those of us that knew this book was fucking amazing from issue one continue to enjoy ourselves.
Cap is dead. Or he’s not. Or maybe he is, but he’ll come back. Who gives a damn? It couldn’t matter less to the story being told in this book, and if that’s not amazing, I don’t know what is.
Ultimate Spider-Man #111
I don’t even want to talk about this book.
Mark Bagley isn’t a “bad” artist, but he’s a house artist. Do you know what that means? He fills in where needed. He does the job, but he doesn’t break norms or defy the inevitable or anything clichéd. He’s just an allright guy that’s drawn 110 issues, and it’s sad to see him go for that feat alone, not because he’s the next coming of Dali or something.
Stuart Immonen, on the other hand, blows my mind. His style has grown and changed and always, always impresses me. I couldn’t be happier that he’s taking over this book. Maybe it’ll mean that I’ll be a little less bored with Bendis’ “clever” dialogue each month (which seems to mean that the story can go nowhere for months at a time, because we’re amused by dumb in-jokes and the like (crap, I write like that sometimes, what kind of asshole am I? I love writing in-jokes.)).
Whatever. This book is consistently worth buying, even if it isn’t necessarily consistently “good”.
But, despite my reservations and feelings of angst, I have nothing but the best wishes for Mr. Bagley. I grew up with him, and despite never liking his style, I respect his longevity. I’m not even really sure if that’s a compliment.
The Might Avengers #4
There’s so much wrong with this book, that I don’t even know where to begin to start. It’s going to take a whole review to discuss, someday soon.
So much wrong.
Wolverine #55
I guess I don’t know what I expected, but it was more than this. Maybe I should be happy, because, Mr. Loeb, that last nail I was looking for you to nail in so I could never buy one of your books again?
Thanks for pounding it with my $2.99.
Wolfsbane, Feral, Sasquatch. Sabretooth, Wolverine, Wildchild. A part of “history”. There can be only “two”. Some grand mastermind.
Do you remember Episodes I, II and III? Georgie-boy Lucas? Yeah, well, it sucked the life out of his movies and my childhood once already, thanks for doing it again.
The Walking Dead #39
Oh, fuck. It’s that Kirkman dude again. You know, the guy that sucks ass but somehow gets paid a shitload for it?
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
This book sucks. It royally sucks.
Some more people get bitten, some people maybe die, some shit happens, blah, blah, blah.
What’s the point anymore? I couldn’t tell you.
War? Famine? The human conditon?
You know what I say to that?
Fuck you, clown, fuck…you…
Oh, but if you like zombie shit, this is probably the book to pick up…
Black Summer # (1? 2?)
It’s part 2, issue 1, whatever. It’s been done before, it’s been told before, it’s been said before.
But, you know what? It’s never been done, told or said by Warren Ellis.
And that, my friend, is why you should stop what you’re doing right now, go out to your local comic shop (or LCS as the dorks online like to call it) and buy issues #0 (part 1) and issue #1 (part 2) right…the…fuck…now.
You won’t be disappointed, and if you haven’t read watchmen, FMDKR or any comic book since ’82, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised.
The Immortal Iron Fist #7
This book is written by two people. Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction. Ed Brubaker beat up Matt Fraction in high school.
If that’s not enough to get you to read this book, then I’ll tell you what, I’ll beat you up. I’ll even pinky-swear on it.
Batman #666
The mark of the beast. It’s confusing. It doesn’t make sense (unless you watched all these cool rapture movies I used to rent for free from the Christian bookstore in my hometown, and even then…).
This book makes little sense and has even less to do with continuity, but it’s damn fun. It’s damn Grant Morrison fun. Have I said enough?
All right, just buy it. It doesn’t make sense in the sense of the whole picture, but it has enough great Grant lines to leave you smiling well into next year.
Like Warren Ellis on whiskey, this is Grant Morrison on Grant. It’s just pure fun, and sometimes, that’s just enough.
So, now that the reviews are done, I have to say, I was overly impressed with this pull. Sure, I had some complaints, and sure, I was rather short in my reviews, but I had a lot to go through. And I’m watching Macguyver. It’s distracting. But I would still recommend buying any of these books (accept maybe the Kirkman crap, but that’s just because I hate him so, so much).
I guess I have to say that, in the end, this batch of books was pretty damn good. That’ll be the only time you see me writing that, so, you know, enjoy. I gave such short reviews because I think most of these books stand on their own, and are worth your checking out. It was a good two weeks (these were two weeks of reviews, by the way).
Just go buy some comic books, people. Please.