Feel free to defriend me. I wouldn't blame you.
I don't know what happened. >.>
Okay, I do. It's been in my head for forever. But I'd suppressed it until now! I BLAME toucanpie ! We were discussing the brilliant alexthegreat 's The (Metaphorical) Parent Trap fic. And then something terrible and kind of lolariously awesome happened.
toucanpie: " It’s kind of like Eduardo and Mark had conceived the baby, and then Mark hadn’t even told Eduardo he was pregnant"
ahahahaha
PREGNANT MARK
CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?
me: RIGHT? IT IS SO HORRIFIC
...and yet I am oddly compelled
BUT I WILL NOT WRITE IT ...
Eduardo would hover over him 24/7
THE BABY NEEDS FOOD, MARK
NO I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU, I AM TALKING TO... OKAY, I SORT OF AM, FINE
*FOR THE BABY*
toucanpie: OH GOD
and later on, mark falls asleep, right?
and he wakes up and eduardo is staring soulfully at his belly
me: and wakes up to Eduardo massaging his ankles?
OR THAT
toucanpie: both!
me: I sort of want it to be Sean's baby, but that is no concern of Eduardo's because Sean has left the country and is hiding, in, like, Thailand
which is way lamer than Singapore
D:<
toucanpie: ahaha
me: THE BB NEEDS A DADDY AND IT IS NOT LIKE MARK WILL STEP UP
toucanpie: WARDO WILL BE THERE
MASSAGING ANKLES
me: he sneaks headphones on Mark's belly while he's plugged in
toucanpie: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
me: and he doesn't notice until all the interns have already started cooing
and one of them squirts him with a bottle whenever he's mean to Wardo now
which is UNFAIR HE COULD FIRE HER
ALSO HE IS PREGNANT
Also it is really getting old how Wardo will not talk to him, only to his fetus D:<
toucanpie: ahahahaaaAAHAHAHA
he's jealous of his fetus oh god
me: STUPID EMBRYO
HE IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING, IT IS JUST A LUMP OF CELLS
IT CAN BARELY EVEN DREAM YET
toucanpie: WARDO IS HORRIFIED WHEN HE SAYS THAT
BUT ALSO HE'S IMMEDIATELY GUILTY!
me: omgggg his face, I can't stand it
toucanpie: LUMP OF CELLS? LUMP OF CELLS, MARK?
me: omg omg and then Mark has some sort of accident and he's SO UPSET AND FREAKED OUT AND CALLING ALL THE HOSPITALS EVER
like, a car accident, and it's not even a big deal
toucanpie: "YOU'RE JUST A LUMP OF CELLS!"
yessssss
me: and Wardo's there the whole time and doesn't even throw his words in his face and just holds his hand through all the tests
toucanpie: ugh
me: also, Dustin makes the bb a facebook page while it is still in the womb, y/y
toucanpie: y!
and mark doesn't get it but can't quite bring himself to wipe it from the servers
me: status update: mom i dont like twizzlers
toucanpie: AHAHAHAHA
me: Mark is indignant. He only eats, like, a TENTH of the twizzlers he used to
and Dustin KNOWS that will send Wardo into a vitamin frenzy
which is just stupid, it is not like the fetus is ACTUALLY ON FACEBOOK AND COMMUNICATING, IT'S JUST STUPID DUSTIN
and now Wardo is going to find his twizzler stash and Mark's seriously going to set Dustin on fire
but Chris sneaks him some sometimes
so it's not so bad
(PS OH GOD I AM ACTUALFAX INSANE)
(IF I EVER WRITE THIS PLZ SHOOT ME IN THE FACE)
toucanpie: YOU AREEEE AND IT'S THE BEST THING EVER
FETUS FACEBOOK PAGE
me: it's sucking it's little thumb in the sonogram!
and Wardo refuses to let him know the sex, and he's somehow gotten to ALL OF MARK'S NEONATAL DOCTORS WITH HIS CRAP
and Mark refuses to hack the information out of them
toucanpie: lolol
me: UGH IT WOULD JUST BE SO CUTE
toucanpie: best thing ever
me: Wardo dragging him to the bathroom, all I KNOW YOU HAVE TO PEE BY NOW
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUPTURE YOUR KIDNEYS JUST FOR A LINE OF CODE
toucanpie: ahahaha
and mark being so shocked he doesn't react til he's halfway there
me: everyone in the offices sniggering behind their hand
toucanpie: "WARDO, YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHEN TO PEE!"
me: "YOU HAVE TO RIGHT NOW, ADMIT IT."
"...IHU SO MUCH. SO MUCH!"
"I KNOW, BB, NOW PEE FOR THE BABY. PS IHU TOO"
toucanpie: AHAHA
me: except Mark gets all hormonal and horny and SEAN LEFT HIM THAT BASTARD and Wardo cuddles him so good but it's ALL FOR THE FETUS AND NOT FOR HIM ;___;
there may be a "You haaaaate meeeeee" blubbering moment where he gets snot all over Wardo's shirt
and Wardo's like "fa;sdlkfja. as;dlfkjasfl;kjadsf. I MEAN, I DO. BUT. I DON'T. I NEVER DID. OH GOD DON'T CRY, I THINK HELL IS FREEZING OVER."
toucanpie: AHAHAHAHA
"I'M HAVING A BABY WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU THINK I HATE YOU?"
me: and then soppy faces! then Mark ruins it by tackling him and there is awkward pregnant sex
except it is somehow still soppy
toucanpie: you mean perfect
me: that is exactly what Wardo says when Mark brings it up
toucanpie: ahahha
me: and Mark is too content and blissed out to reach over his bb!bump and smack him
later
toucanpie: later he will eat three whole twizzlers in front of wardo
me: DEFIANTLY
THEY HAVE VITAMIN C, WARDO
toucanpie: even if he feels a bit nauseous by number two
me: DO YOU WANT THE BABY TO GET SCURVY
awwww
and Wardo just rubs his back as he pukes up terrible red sweetness later
toucanpie: ahahha
me: omg, if the bb is a girl, do you think he wants to name it Perl?
and if it is a boy, LINUX?
HOW UPSET WOULD WARDO BE
toucanpie: oh my actual god
YOU ARE NOT NAMING OUR BB AFTER AN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
***
...AND IT WENT ON LIKE THAT FOR AN HOUR. Maybe longer. I am posting this excerpt in the hopes that that will keep me from actually writing it. /o\ LA LA LA, FOCUSING ON ACTUAL FIC NOW.
Okay, I do. It's been in my head for forever. But I'd suppressed it until now! I BLAME toucanpie ! We were discussing the brilliant alexthegreat 's The (Metaphorical) Parent Trap fic. And then something terrible and kind of lolariously awesome happened.
toucanpie: " It’s kind of like Eduardo and Mark had conceived the baby, and then Mark hadn’t even told Eduardo he was pregnant"
ahahahaha
PREGNANT MARK
CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?
me: RIGHT? IT IS SO HORRIFIC
...and yet I am oddly compelled
BUT I WILL NOT WRITE IT ...
Eduardo would hover over him 24/7
THE BABY NEEDS FOOD, MARK
NO I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU, I AM TALKING TO... OKAY, I SORT OF AM, FINE
*FOR THE BABY*
toucanpie: OH GOD
and later on, mark falls asleep, right?
and he wakes up and eduardo is staring soulfully at his belly
me: and wakes up to Eduardo massaging his ankles?
OR THAT
toucanpie: both!
me: I sort of want it to be Sean's baby, but that is no concern of Eduardo's because Sean has left the country and is hiding, in, like, Thailand
which is way lamer than Singapore
D:<
toucanpie: ahaha
me: THE BB NEEDS A DADDY AND IT IS NOT LIKE MARK WILL STEP UP
toucanpie: WARDO WILL BE THERE
MASSAGING ANKLES
me: he sneaks headphones on Mark's belly while he's plugged in
toucanpie: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
me: and he doesn't notice until all the interns have already started cooing
and one of them squirts him with a bottle whenever he's mean to Wardo now
which is UNFAIR HE COULD FIRE HER
ALSO HE IS PREGNANT
Also it is really getting old how Wardo will not talk to him, only to his fetus D:<
toucanpie: ahahahaaaAAHAHAHA
he's jealous of his fetus oh god
me: STUPID EMBRYO
HE IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING, IT IS JUST A LUMP OF CELLS
IT CAN BARELY EVEN DREAM YET
toucanpie: WARDO IS HORRIFIED WHEN HE SAYS THAT
BUT ALSO HE'S IMMEDIATELY GUILTY!
me: omgggg his face, I can't stand it
toucanpie: LUMP OF CELLS? LUMP OF CELLS, MARK?
me: omg omg and then Mark has some sort of accident and he's SO UPSET AND FREAKED OUT AND CALLING ALL THE HOSPITALS EVER
like, a car accident, and it's not even a big deal
toucanpie: "YOU'RE JUST A LUMP OF CELLS!"
yessssss
me: and Wardo's there the whole time and doesn't even throw his words in his face and just holds his hand through all the tests
toucanpie: ugh
me: also, Dustin makes the bb a facebook page while it is still in the womb, y/y
toucanpie: y!
and mark doesn't get it but can't quite bring himself to wipe it from the servers
me: status update: mom i dont like twizzlers
toucanpie: AHAHAHAHA
me: Mark is indignant. He only eats, like, a TENTH of the twizzlers he used to
and Dustin KNOWS that will send Wardo into a vitamin frenzy
which is just stupid, it is not like the fetus is ACTUALLY ON FACEBOOK AND COMMUNICATING, IT'S JUST STUPID DUSTIN
and now Wardo is going to find his twizzler stash and Mark's seriously going to set Dustin on fire
but Chris sneaks him some sometimes
so it's not so bad
(PS OH GOD I AM ACTUALFAX INSANE)
(IF I EVER WRITE THIS PLZ SHOOT ME IN THE FACE)
toucanpie: YOU AREEEE AND IT'S THE BEST THING EVER
FETUS FACEBOOK PAGE
me: it's sucking it's little thumb in the sonogram!
and Wardo refuses to let him know the sex, and he's somehow gotten to ALL OF MARK'S NEONATAL DOCTORS WITH HIS CRAP
and Mark refuses to hack the information out of them
toucanpie: lolol
me: UGH IT WOULD JUST BE SO CUTE
toucanpie: best thing ever
me: Wardo dragging him to the bathroom, all I KNOW YOU HAVE TO PEE BY NOW
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUPTURE YOUR KIDNEYS JUST FOR A LINE OF CODE
toucanpie: ahahaha
and mark being so shocked he doesn't react til he's halfway there
me: everyone in the offices sniggering behind their hand
toucanpie: "WARDO, YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHEN TO PEE!"
me: "YOU HAVE TO RIGHT NOW, ADMIT IT."
"...IHU SO MUCH. SO MUCH!"
"I KNOW, BB, NOW PEE FOR THE BABY. PS IHU TOO"
toucanpie: AHAHA
me: except Mark gets all hormonal and horny and SEAN LEFT HIM THAT BASTARD and Wardo cuddles him so good but it's ALL FOR THE FETUS AND NOT FOR HIM ;___;
there may be a "You haaaaate meeeeee" blubbering moment where he gets snot all over Wardo's shirt
and Wardo's like "fa;sdlkfja. as;dlfkjasfl;kjadsf. I MEAN, I DO. BUT. I DON'T. I NEVER DID. OH GOD DON'T CRY, I THINK HELL IS FREEZING OVER."
toucanpie: AHAHAHAHA
"I'M HAVING A BABY WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU THINK I HATE YOU?"
me: and then soppy faces! then Mark ruins it by tackling him and there is awkward pregnant sex
except it is somehow still soppy
toucanpie: you mean perfect
me: that is exactly what Wardo says when Mark brings it up
toucanpie: ahahha
me: and Mark is too content and blissed out to reach over his bb!bump and smack him
later
toucanpie: later he will eat three whole twizzlers in front of wardo
me: DEFIANTLY
THEY HAVE VITAMIN C, WARDO
toucanpie: even if he feels a bit nauseous by number two
me: DO YOU WANT THE BABY TO GET SCURVY
awwww
and Wardo just rubs his back as he pukes up terrible red sweetness later
toucanpie: ahahha
me: omg, if the bb is a girl, do you think he wants to name it Perl?
and if it is a boy, LINUX?
HOW UPSET WOULD WARDO BE
toucanpie: oh my actual god
YOU ARE NOT NAMING OUR BB AFTER AN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
***
...AND IT WENT ON LIKE THAT FOR AN HOUR. Maybe longer. I am posting this excerpt in the hopes that that will keep me from actually writing it. /o\ LA LA LA, FOCUSING ON ACTUAL FIC NOW.