(no subject)
Is it so much to ask to just be able to fall asleep? I'm tired, I HAVE to be tired. I finally fell asleep around 4 last night and I was up at 9 and busy all day. I was tired in the middle of the day. I'm tired now. I can't fucking sleep. The second I lay down I start thinking and coughing and thinking some more and staring at the ceiling and convincing myself that I need to stop thinking and just fucking sleep. It doesn't work. My lungs are on fire and I feel like shit. Everything is so out of place here. Even when I was at school and stressed the fuck out I could go to sleep whenever I wanted, no problem. 2 in the afternoon? Sure. 2 in the morning? No problem. Waking up was different, but even now when I finally do get to sleep I could sleep for days and I never want to get up. It's fucking bullshit, is what it is. And this is what I do instead of sleep. Write on this goddamn thing about meaningless, dull bullshit. At least when I was in school I felt like I was being productive.