If You're Looking for It: Part Two

[nova_lies]

Part One | Master Post | Art



Jared makes up the new work schedule, and Jensen sees that he and Chad hardly have any shifts scheduled at the same time the next couple of weeks; they only have a few hours together where their shifts overlap. Jensen is sure Jared did that on purpose to give Jensen a reprieve from the guy before he ends up killing him. Jensen is grateful, even if he is a little worried about what Chad may get up to in their apartment when they're both at work. He tells Jared as much when he's in the office using Samantha's desk to get some paperwork done.

"He's not that bad," Jared says. "What do you think he's going to do?"

Jensen shoots Jared a doubtful look. "I don't know. But I like to think Chad is better at coming up with unbelievable ways of destroying everything around him than I am."

"He probably is," Jared says. "I mean, I'm sure he is," he amends at Jensen's scowl. "But he does manage to act like an adult at least most of the time, you know. I'm sure everything's fine."

"I hope so." Jensen sighs.

Jared laughs. "You sound so gloomy."

"Maybe Chad makes me feel gloomy."

"He clearly does," Jared agrees.

"Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it," Jared says. "Hey, what time is it?"

"About one," Jensen says, glancing at the clock.

"Want to go get some lunch?" Jared asks as he stands up and stretches.

"Where?"

Jared shrugs. "We could go to that sandwich shop down the street. Henry's?"

Jensen grimaces. "That place gave me food poisoning."

"It did not," Jared protests.

"I'm pretty sure it did."

"I'm pretty sure you gave yourself food poisoning," Jared says.

Jensen glares at Jared. "Are we going to have to have this whole argument again?"

"We can," Jared says. "We can spend our entire lunch break fighting about your absolute lack of skill in the kitchen. Or we can eat somewhere else."

"I'm never eating at Henry's again," Jensen declares resolutely.

"Okay. I'll be sure to tell Henry that the next time I buy your lunch there and tell you it came from the place three blocks over."

"You didn't," Jensen says, horrified. "You could have killed me, you sneaky bastard."

"You're a little bit paranoid. Can we please go now?"

"I shouldn't go anywhere with you, you're obviously a hazard to my health," Jensen says, but he gets up and follows Jared out the door.

***

Chad doesn't turn out to be as bad of a houseguest as Jensen was afraid. Jared was right when he said he didn't think Chad would destroy their apartment while they were at work; he's managed to keep his mess mostly contained to the area around the couch and the coffee table, and Jensen figures that's all they could have realistically hoped for. He does stay up half the night sometimes, but he's generally quiet about it. He still talks incessantly the rest of the time, though; Jensen swears his ears are starting to buzz from the constant chatter, and if he has to hear about the time Chad stayed with his grandparents out in the country when he was eight and kidnapped a chicken in an attempt to save it from being eaten--a story he tells every time anyone eats chicken in front of him--one more time, Jensen may strangle him.

Jensen piles Chad's crap up haphazardly so nobody accidentally trips over it and thinks about what a great friend Jared is for making Chad be at work right now.

"Five whole hours until Chad gets off work," Jared says, obviously thinking along the same lines as Jensen.

"I know. Thanks for that, by the way." Jensen can never fully relax with Chad around; he's grateful for the few hours he gets.

"Hey," Jared says, "I don't really want to have to be around him all day either."

"Has he said anything to you about how much longer he's going to be here? Has he even talked to his girlfriend?"

"He said she's warming up to him and he should be out of our hair in no time. I have no idea if that's true or if it's Chad being overly optimistic about his situation again. He tends to do that."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Jensen asks.

"Because anybody who's met Chad wouldn't be surprised by that?" Jared shrugs. "At least we'll get away from him next weekend, with the wedding and everything."

"Hey, that's right," Jensen says. "I guess it's a good thing I got tricked into that after all. Can you imagine if I was here with him alone for three days?" Jensen doesn't even want to imagine it; he figures Jared would come home to at least one dead body though.

Jared grimaces, seemingly imagining a similar situation. "Yeah, that sounds unpleasant."

"What if he has a party here while we're gone or something?" Jensen asks, horrified by the sudden thought.

"We'll tell him it's not allowed," Jared says. "And we'll remind him. Many times. And leave notes. A lot of them."

"Okay," Jensen says. "And we'll just hope that doesn't put the idea in his head, right?"

"Right."

***

It ends up they don't have to worry about Chad after all. A couple of days later, Jensen comes home to find Chad packing his bags.

"You're leaving?" Jensen asks, and it comes out sounding hopeful.

"Yup," Chad says. "Kenzie says she misses me and wants me to come back home."

"That's great," Jensen says enthusiastically. He almost feels bad about inflicting Chad on somebody else, but he figures she knows what she's getting herself into.

"Thanks," Chad says, surprising Jensen by throwing himself at Jensen and wrapping his arms around him.

"Um, you're welcome," Jensen says, awkwardly patting Chad on the back. Chad pulls away and turns to hug Jared.

"I couldn't have gotten through this without you guys," Chad says, sniffling a little.

"No problem," Jared says. Jensen focuses very hard on keeping a friendly, concerned look on his face.

Chad pulls back from Jared and looks around. "Well, I guess I should be going," he says, sounding almost sad about it.

"Okay," Jared says. "We'll see you at work, right?"

Chad nods, gathering up his things. "Yeah, I'll see you guys later."

Jensen turns to Jared once Chad is gone. "Now I feel like I should be nicer to him. Like, take his weird stories seriously--or at least listen to them sometimes."

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Jared says. "He just gets emotional sometimes. And I'm not sure he even realizes you're ignoring him most of the time."

"I think that actually makes it worse." Jensen watches warily as Jared shrugs and spreads himself out on the couch. "What are you doing?"

"I missed the couch," Jared says, practically snuggling with the thing.

"You're weird. Also, Chad has basically been living there for like three weeks. Who knows what he's done to that couch?"

"You're being dramatic," Jared says, but he sits up and looks at the couch kind of doubtfully, and Jensen laughs. Jared sighs and adds, "You're also a terrible person."

***

Jensen is glad he and Jared have the place back to themselves; he can fully relax for the first time in weeks. He's lounging on the--recently disinfected, just in case--couch, enjoying how peacefully quiet it is, when Jared comes flying into the room with wide eyes.

He stops in front of Jensen, flinging his arms out at his sides. "We don't have a gift!"

"What?"

"A gift for Matt and Carla," Jared says, looking at Jensen like he's an idiot. "We forgot to get them a wedding gift."

Jensen purses his lips. "We forgot? I think you mean you forgot. Also, why the panic attack?"

"People will judge us based on our gift, Jensen."

"Who do you think this gift is for? Your own family is not going to judge you based on a gift, dude," Jensen says.

"They might--"

"They're not going to judge me either," Jensen adds before Jared can say it.

Jared frowns. "We have to get an amazing gift so everyone will think we're awesome."

Jensen sighs, rolling his eyes. "You need to lower your expectations first of all. The wedding is in less than a week; settle for getting a gift good enough that everyone doesn't think you're a total loser."

"You're not helping," Jared says, glaring.

"Oh, come on then," Jensen says, nearly bumping into Jared as he stands up. "Let's go find your freaking amazing gift."

They go to Bed Bath and Beyond--

"They have everything," Jared says. "It's right there in the name."

--and Jared ends up buying some kitchen appliance that Jensen can't figure out. Jensen also can't figure out why Jared needs Jensen to follow him through the store and agree with everything he says, but Jared seems happy enough about it that Jensen decides not to bother trying to make sense of it.

***

Jared's birthday is a few days later. Samantha doesn't usually make anyone work on their birthday, but Jared does since he's going to have three days in a row off for the wedding later in the week. In reality, Samantha probably would have let him get away with scheduling himself off on his birthday and using an extra vacation day for the weekend, but Jared said being able to sit around his apartment not working all day wasn't important enough to bother putting stress on anybody else.

Adrianne's on her lunch break, and it's a slow day at work for Jensen, so he's hanging out with Jared behind the checkout counter when Chad comes in. He's got a white box with him, and he puts it down on the counter in front of Jared.

"Happy birthday," he says, gesturing at the box.

Jared grins. "Thanks, man. You didn't need to get me anything."

"It's just a cake. And I knew you had to work today and figured that kind of sucks when nobody else ever has to. It's also kind of a thank you for letting me crash with you for a while, so you have to share it with Jensen." Chad looks at Jensen. "Happy--whatever," he says, shrugging.

"Thank you," Jensen says sincerely; it's actually a nice gesture. He leans against the counter as Jared slides the lid off the box.

Chad holds up a hand. "Wait, you may want to--"

"This cake is shaped like boobs," Jared says as he fumbles to put the lid back on before any customers catch sight of it. Jensen holds his laughter in and attempts to smile charmingly at the woman who gives them a displeased look from where she's standing a few feet away.

"They were out of dicks," Chad says, sounding genuinely contrite. "Apparently you're supposed to order these things in advance or you have to pick from what they've already got. I thought you'd like this one better than the--"

"Thanks, Chad," Jensen says quickly, cutting Chad off before he has a chance to say any more inappropriate things. "I'm sure you're right."

"Yeah," Jared agrees. "It was very thoughtful of you. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Adrianne walks in the door then, and Jensen figures more time has passed than he'd realized. "I should get back to work. Do you want to come back and have a piece of cake?" he asks Chad.

"No thanks; I bought myself one too," Chad says, ignoring Jared's huff of laughter. "And I should get going anyway."

"Okay," Jensen says, nodding easily. "Thanks again."

"See you later," Jared says, and Chad gives them a wave as he leaves.

"And I was only going to buy you dinner," Jensen says. "I didn't know I was going to have this kind of competition."

Jared rolls his eyes and gives Jensen a shove. "It's okay; I don't expect everything I get to be equally awesome. Now get back to work." Jensen rolls his eyes but goes, taking the cake with him.

***

Jensen and Jared have to leave pretty early the day before the wedding because they're supposed to be in San Antonio before three. Well, truthfully, it isn't that early, but it's before ten, and Jensen considers it early anytime it's before ten on a day he doesn't have to work.

"We should have flown," Jensen says when they're walking to Jared's truck. "It would have taken like an hour."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jared says. "Driving is way more fun."

"Fun? Clearly we have different definitions of the word," Jensen says.

"Come on, it's like a mini road trip. Who doesn't love a road trip?" Jared sounds unreasonably cheerful.

"Don't road trips usually have, like, sights and things? Toy museums and giant crap, that kind of stuff?"

"Giant crap?" Jared asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah. Balls of yarn, uh--statues, and. Other giant things? Windmills? I don't know."

"You definitely sound like you know what you're talking about," Jared says. "I don't know if we're going to see any giant things, but I bet there'll be plenty of convenience stores and out of state license plates to look at."

"Well now I'm excited. You should have started with that."

***

"Hey, so…" Jared starts after a brief lull in their conversation about two hours into the trip.

"Yeah?" Jensen asks, turning a little in his seat to look at Jared.

"I never really said thanks for going to this thing with me," Jared says. "And the whole, you know, pretending to date me thing."

"Don't worry about it," Jensen says easily. "It's the least I could do after everything you've done for me."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I mean, you're not doing this because you think you have to or something, right?" Jared bites his lip, looking worried.

"Dude, no," Jensen says seriously. "Of course I don't think that. It's not like you could have actually made me come with you, you know?"

"I know, but--"

"I'm serious," Jensen says, cutting Jared off. "Don't worry about it. I honestly don't mind coming with you."

"Okay," Jared says, glancing at Jensen briefly before looking back to the road.

"Okay."

"I feel kind of bad about lying to my mom," Jared says after a minute. "I didn't mean for it to turn into a thing; I was only trying to get out of a stupid date."

"Yeah, I know," Jensen says. "Look, if you want to tell her the truth or whatever, you can. But I think it would just cause more problems than it would help. It's not like you told her we were engaged or something."

"Right."

"You didn't tell her we were engaged did you?" Jensen asks suspiciously.

"Dude, no. Of course not."

"Okay then. So maybe it would have been better if you never told her we were dating, but it's still not the end of the world. Stop freaking out about it."

"All right," Jared says. "I'll try."

"Good. Also, if it helps, remember that I also let her believe we were dating when I talked to her, so if you go down for this, you will bring me down with you."

Jared laughs. "Well, in that case, I guess we'll have to take this secret to our graves."

"I knew you'd understand," Jensen says.

***

Jensen is tired of being on the road by the time they get to Jared's parents' house.

"Should we hold hands or something?" Jared asks he pulls into the driveway.

"I don't think so," Jensen says. "Just act normal, okay? Don't be weird."

"Holding hands isn't weird," Jared says.

"Not holding hands isn't weird either, though."

"I guess," Jared agrees.

Jared's mom greets them at the door, wrapping them both up in hugs.

"Where is everyone?" Jared asks her.

"Your Dad and Megan ran to the store," she says. "They should be back any minute. You beat Jeff and his family here."

"I told you we should have slept in later," Jensen says, and Sharon laughs.

"Go on upstairs and put your things up," she says. "Then come back down here so you can tell me everything that's been going on in the last few months."

Jared nudges Jensen toward the stairs and follows him up to Jared's old room.

"I tried to tell her we could stay in a hotel," Jared says apologetically, setting their bags in one corner as Jensen hangs their dress pants and shirts in the closet. "But she insisted we stay here. She was very… assertive."

"I don't mind," Jensen says honestly. "It would have been kind of silly to stay at a hotel."

"Okay, good. Let's go back down before she starts wondering what we're doing up here."

"Wait," Jensen says, stopping Jared at the door. "Should we have come up with some fake information or something?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. What if we tell her conflicting things?"

"What are you planning to tell her?"

"I don't know," Jensen says again.

Jared shrugs. "We do live together," he says. "Just, you know. Tell her true things. You're the one who said to act normal."

"Okay," Jensen says doubtfully.

Jared rolls his eyes as he steps into the hallway. "It'll be fine."

It turns out Jared is right. He and Jensen make convincing boyfriends simply by telling the truth, which, okay, Jensen thinks maybe they should be concerned about that or something, but maybe it's just because Sharon doesn't have any reason to suspect anything different.

"He broke the washer," Jared says after they've caught Sharon up on everything truly important. Not that there was much to tell; they talk to her on the phone often enough.

"He's lying," Jensen points out. "How do you even break a washer? You push the right buttons and don't put too much clothes in it. Anybody can do that."

"You would think," Jared says, making a face. Jensen glares at him.

Sharon just watches them, grinning.

***

Dinner is somewhat hectic. Jared's aunt has rented out an exceptionally large room at some fancy Italian restaurant, and it's packed full of people.

"How many of these people are you actually related to?" Jensen asks.

"No idea," Jared replies. "I recognize maybe thirty of them."

"Well, I guess that makes me feel a little bit better," Jensen says.

The whole thing is a rather long affair, with a couple of speeches and a lot of conversation with Jared's relatives--and a few people who may or may not be Jared's relatives, but at least know who Jared is.

"These people probably think you know who they are," Jensen points out when they have a moment alone.

"Probably so," Jared agrees, idly folding a napkin on the table.

"You should pay more attention at family reunions."

Jared makes a face. "We don't have family reunions."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should," Jensen says.

"I'll tell my mom you said so," Jared says. "She'll be thrilled you want to meet everyone, I'm sure."

"I'm sure," Jensen agrees, stifling a yawn. He isn't sure how he's so exhausted when he basically spent the entire day sitting around, but for some reason he is. He's beyond relieved when they finally get back to Jared's parents' house, and he's honestly surprised that he makes it into bed before falling asleep.

***

Jensen wakes up practically glued to Jared. He's still tired, but too fidgety to get back to sleep. He doesn't want to end up waking Jared up, so he carefully extracts himself from the bed, evading Jared's clingy arms and ignoring his mumbled protests. After getting dressed and making a quick stop in the bathroom, he heads downstairs to the kitchen where he can hear someone already moving around. Jensen steps into the kitchen and finds Jared's mom standing at the counter as she prepares breakfast.

"Good morning," Jensen says; it comes out mostly coherent, though he still isn't fully awake.

"Hey," Sharon says, turning to look at him. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Jensen pours himself a cup of coffee and shuffles over to sit at the bar.

Sharon laughs. "Are you even awake yet?"

"I think so." Jensen mumbles into his coffee, taking a sip to see if it'll scald his tongue and practically inhaling it when it doesn't. They sit in silence for a few minutes until Jensen feels more alert. "You need any help with anything?"

"Oh, no," Sharon says. "You're a guest; just sit right there."

"You're afraid I'd ruin it, aren't you?"

Sharon looks at him, her eyes widening innocently. "I said no such thing."

Jensen snorts, amused. "You didn't have to." He doesn't miss the smirk on her face before she turns back to what she's doing. "Is everyone else still asleep?"

She nods. "They'll be up soon, I imagine."

"I'm not used to being awake before everyone else."

Sharon hums in agreement. "I expected Jared when I heard you come in. He was always an early riser."

"He still is," Jensen says. "Usually even when he doesn't have to work. He's weird like that."

"He gets it from me."

"Oh. I mean, he's really awesome like that."

Sharon laughs, shaking her head, and before Jensen can say anything else, Jared comes bounding into the room.

"Jensen," Jared says loudly. "You're awake! I thought maybe someone had kidnapped you in the night." Jensen rolls his eyes, and Jared ignores him. "What are y'all doing in here?"

"Talking about how amazing you are," Jensen says. Sharon laughs again, and Jared pouts.

"Why don't I believe you?" he asks; Jensen shrugs. Jared narrows his eyes suspiciously and steals Jensen's coffee.

"Hey," Jensen complains.

"That's what you get for being mean to me." Jared shrugs, seemingly unconcerned, but rolls his eyes and pours Jensen another cup when Jensen glares at him long enough.

Sharon lets Jared help with breakfast--apparently he is not considered a guest--and before long, the food is almost ready and Jensen can hear the rest of the house waking up.

They all get settled in the dining room for breakfast--as settled as things ever are in the Padalecki household at mealtime, anyway. In Jensen's experience, these things are always hectic; nobody bothers to be quiet as they carry on their various conversations--with the exception of Megan, who tends to look about how Jensen feels in the morning: as likely to fall asleep in her plate as not. This morning is no exception; Jensen is still a bit too tired to try to keep up with anyone's conversation, and he's pretty sure Megan is eating with her eyes closed. He considers asking her how she's doing it; it would be a useful skill to have.

Jensen's thoughts are interrupted by Jared elbowing him in the side. "Isn't that right?" he asks, looking at Jensen. Jensen blinks at Jared and shrugs.

"Sure."

"Exactly; thank you." Jared grins victoriously and turns back to his brother to continue with what is apparently some sort of debate about something.

Jeff's wife, Amy, is giving Jensen an amused look when he turns away from Jared. "You don't even know what they're talking about, do you?"

"No idea," Jensen admits before he takes a bite of his eggs. Amy shakes her head at him and looks like she's about to say something else when her twin boys, Nathan and Tyler, start screeching at each other over something that possibly involves dragons, from what Jensen can understand, and then she turns her attention to dealing with that.

They manage to finish eating in relative peace after the boys are put in time out, and after breakfast they mostly sit around, catching up. Jared chases the kids around in the backyard until Amy realizes what they're doing and scolds all three of them for getting dirty. Jared looks properly abashed and heads upstairs to shower, and Jensen can't hold back a laugh. Amy grins wryly.

"Sometimes I get stuck in teacher mode," she says, apologetic. "I've been working with kindergartners during summer school." That makes Jensen laugh harder, and Amy looks amused. "It works pretty well on Jeff, too," she adds. Jeff hears this and objects; Jensen can hear them playfully arguing about it as they wander out of the room, taking the boys off for a bath. Somehow left alone, at least for the moment, Jensen leans his head back against the couch and closes his eyes, taking the opportunity to rest.

***

The next thing Jensen knows, he's being shaken awake by Jared. Jensen startles, jerking his head off of Jared's shoulder, and Jared gives him a squeeze with the arm he's got around Jensen before pulling away. "What," Jensen says, slightly disoriented.

"Lunch is ready," Jared says, standing up.

"Lunch?" Jensen looks around at the empty room and allows Jared to tug him up off of the couch. "Jared, tell me you did not let me sleep on you in front of your family for several hours."

"You looked tired," Jared says. "Besides, I bet no one even noticed."

Jensen gives Jared a highly skeptical look at that because the odds of it being true are basically nonexistent. His belief is confirmed when they walk into the dining room and Megan immediately smirks at him. "Good morning, sleeping beauty," she says, laughing when Jensen blushes and glares.

"Shut up," Jared tells her, nudging Jensen to sit down, and Jensen glares at him too.

After lunch, the entire house is in an uproar with everyone getting ready for the wedding. Jared's nephews are running all over the house, apparently opposed to wearing anything even vaguely formal, and Jensen helps Amy chase them down so she can get them dressed.

"How can they have that much energy?" Jensen wants to know.

Jared laughs. "They're four, Jensen" he says. "That's like, the definition of energy."

It takes longer than Jensen things it legitimately should, but eventually everyone in the house is ready to go. Jared follows his parents to the church where the wedding is taking place, and they all head inside.

"This is insane," Jared says, looking around the church. "I'm kind of afraid to touch anything."

"Don't touch anything," Jensen says. He thinks this is one of those times you're not actually allowed to touch anything. The church is nice anyway, with polished wood floors and a high arched ceiling. Then there are the decorations; they're hazards, honestly: intricate arrangements of flowers that involve a lot of skinny tables, fragile looking vases, and possibly some defiance of gravity.

"Can I touch the guest book?" Jared asks. The table the guest book is on has a similar arrangement, but there are also candles. They're floating in vases of water, so that probably reduces the risk of a fire, but still.

"No, you can't," Jensen replies. "I guess you can touch the pen though."

"Thank you. I truly appreciate it."

***

"This was supposed to start more than ten minutes ago. Do you think this is a runaway bride situation?" Jared asks when they've been sitting in the room for a while, waiting for the wedding to start.

Sharon gives him a reproachful look, and Jensen snorts. "You shouldn't sound so gleeful about that, Jared."

"I'm not gleeful," he protests. "It would be very upsetting, I'm sure. But seriously, I've never been to a wedding where that happened."

"I think it's a little bit worrying that it sounds like that's a goal you have."

"I wouldn't call it a goal, necessarily. I just think it would be an unfortunate yet entertaining situation," Jared says right as the bridal march starts up, leaving Jensen to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent a case of extremely inappropriate laughter.

Jensen has never been to a wedding before, which Jared is shocked by for some reason. He'd asked how Jensen had managed to get to twenty-eight years old without ever going to a wedding, and Jensen had shrugged and said nobody in his family had gotten married when he was younger, he doesn't have any married friends, and, well, it's not as though anybody in his family was going to be inviting him to anything now. That had done a pretty good job of ending that conversation, and Jared spent the next five minutes apologizing for bringing it up, even as Jensen insisted he wasn't upset.

So Jensen has never been to a wedding before, but for some reason he thought they would be longer.

"The reception is the good part," Jared says when Jensen mentions this to him. They're standing outside the building with the rest of the crowd gathered to wait on the bride and groom to emerge. "Nobody cares about the wedding part."

"Nobody?" Jensen asks doubtfully.

"Well. I guess brides and crying mothers do. Receptions have cake though." Jensen snorts, and Jared nudges him with his elbow. "Throw your birdseed at the happy couple," he says. "Then we can go have cake. And champagne."

***

Jensen has lost count of the number of times he's woken up all tangled up with Jared by now. But this is the first time he's done it in quite this position, almost completely on top of Jared with something hard pressing into his hip that is probably--okay, definitely--Jared's cock. And that--yeah. Not something Jensen is used to, to say the least. Jensen's plan is to extract himself as swiftly and delicately as he can from what could quickly become an awkward situation, but apparently Jensen's body does not agree with this plan, and he just kind of--jolts. Jared makes a noise at that, and Jensen glances up, startled. Their eyes meet, and Jensen can feel himself flushing, his entire body going hot at the thought of Jared waking up to find Jensen rutting against him, but before he can think anything else, Jared is moving. Not away from Jensen, but up against him, clumsy roll of his hips. Jared shifts, letting Jensen fall fully between his legs, and Jensen bites his lip to hold back the noise that wants to escape when his erection brushes against Jared's.

Everything just spins out of control after that.

It's not clear who starts it, but suddenly they're kissing, and when Jensen feels Jared's tongue slide against his own, he stops trying to think about anything else. He only worries about Jared's mouth against his, and Jared's fingers digging into his hips, and the friction between them as he clumsily grinds his cock down against whatever part of Jared happens to be there. It doesn't take long for Jensen to be shaking and making embarrassing little noises against Jared's mouth as he comes in his shorts. Jared clutches at him harder, makes a strangled noise, and goes still under Jensen.

It's not until then, both of them lying there spent and panting, that the whole situation truly becomes clear in Jensen's head. If the way Jared stiffens up underneath him is anything to go by, it's hitting him too.

"Um," Jared says, staring up at Jensen. He looks like he's kind of in shock. "That--um."

"Yeah." Jensen has no idea what he's agreeing with, but he has to say something. Jared pushes gently at Jensen, and Jensen blushes, awkwardly lifting himself off of Jared. Jared sits up and scoots a little farther away.

"I'm sorry," Jared says. "I don't--I think I had too much champagne, or--"

"Jared--"

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't--I don't know what happened." Jared shrugs helplessly.

"Okay," Jensen agrees. "Um, I don't really know either. We just..." Jensen trails off, unsure what to say.

"So we should--" Jared makes an abortive gesture. "Can we not make this into a big deal?"

"Yeah." Jensen coughs, clearing is throat. "Yeah, it's not a big deal."

Jared doesn't seem convinced. "Are you sure? I--"

"Dude," Jensen says, giving a smile he hopes doesn't look as forced as it is. "I'm sure. Please stop freaking out; it's fine."

"Okay," Jared says. "I'm just gonna--yeah. I'm going to go. To the bathroom." Jensen bites his lip and waits for Jared to leave before he lets himself fall back on the bed. He sucks in a deep breath, letting it out before he closes his eyes.

This is definitely not something he was expecting.

***

The drive home is surprisingly comfortable. Jensen feels enormously relieved, and he thinks he was more worried than he let himself realize. Maybe he was secretly a little bit afraid Jared was going to be weird and like, never speak to Jensen again or something, but Jared is acting normal, acting like there's no reason not to act normal, so apparently Jensen's fears were unnecessary. Jensen never claimed to not be a bit paranoid at times.

"Did you see that?" Jared is asking, and Jensen blinks, realizing he had zoned out for a minute.

"What?"

Jared looks at Jensen, disbelieving. "God, Jensen, what are you even doing over there?"

"Nothing," Jensen says, defensive.

"You're the one who was complaining about there not being any sights to see on our road trip, and now you're not even paying attention to the sights around you." Jared shakes his head sadly.

"This does not count as a road trip. We didn't even leave the state! And I don't see any sights," Jensen says, glancing around.

"You missed it."

"So tell me what I missed," Jensen says.

Jared sighs sullenly. "It won't be as funny if I have to explain it to you."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "You should have taken a picture. People take pictures on road trips."

"So you admit it's a road trip." Jared grins triumphantly.

Jensen shakes his head, feigning exasperation. "You're exhausting."

It continues on like that until they get home. They make it up to their apartment, and Jensen sprawls out on the couch, relieved to be home where he can relax. Then he notices Jared standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, and Jensen tenses nervously. He doesn't say anything, waiting for Jared to do something, and finally he sighs and sits down next to Jensen.

"Should we talk or something?" Jared asks, and Jensen bites his lip.

"We can," he says, shrugging. "If you want to."

"I don't want to." Jared sighs again. "But I feel kind of weird leaving things like--whatever."

"You're not going to freak out or anything are you?" Jensen asks him.

"No," Jared says. "I mean, as long as we're okay. We're okay, right?"

"Of course."

"Okay," Jared says, watching Jensen closely.

"Hey," Jensen says with a grin. "Isn't it a tradition or something? Doing stupid shit after someone else's wedding?"

Jared snorts. "I don't think it's a tradition, but--"

"Whatever," Jensen says. "Just part of the whole wedding experience."

Jared shakes his head. "Whatever you say." He nudges Jensen with his elbow. "So, you want to order a pizza or something?"

"Sure," Jensen agrees.

***

"We need to go grocery shopping," Jared tells Jensen about fifteen minutes before they're both supposed to get off work.

Jensen almost growls. "I was having a good day."

"The mere mention of grocery shopping did not ruin your day, Jensen." Jared looks rather amused.

"No," Jensen agrees. "But the thought of going to the grocery store is totally going to ruin my day. Not to mention what actually going to the grocery store is going to do to my day."

"You're being dramatic again," Jared says. "Just so you know. Having this much hatred for the grocery store is unhealthy."

"Do you know what else is unhealthy?" Jensen asks.

"I think I can guess what you're going to say."

"The grocery store," Jensen says, ignoring Jared. "All those people. Pushing and shoving their shopping carts around and knocking each other down, dragging sticky little children around by their hair, beating each other up over the softest loaf of bread. I can't handle it. It's dangerous."

"What the fuck grocery store do you guys shop at?" Chad asks from Samantha's desk. Jensen is surprised to realize he'd actually forgotten Chad was there.

"He's making all of that stuff up," Jared says.

"I am not," Jensen says. He's only embellishing a little. "Do you not remember that guy who literally ran over me with his cart?"

"You are totally using the word 'literally' wrong," Jared protests. "He bumped into you. And then he apologized. He was really nice about it."

Jensen scowls. "The grocery store is full of hooligans."

"Well, you're going anyway. Grocery shopping alone is not nearly as fun as grocery shopping with you."

"You just enjoy torturing me and making fun of me," Jensen accuses. Jared just shrugs, not denying anything.

"So, we'll go after work?"

"Yes," Jensen says, sighing.

Chad looks at Jared with wide eyes, mouthing what the fuck?

"I can see you, Chad," Jensen says.

"Right. Um, sorry," Chad says, snatching up something random to read, and Jensen is definitely proud of the fact that Chad actually looks a bit scared.

Jensen makes it through the grocery store without having any major breakdowns. It's not too crowded, so the place is pretty calm. Jensen sees no fights and only two children, and neither of them is crying.

"See, it's not so bad," Jared says when Jensen mentions this to him.

"This time," Jensen says. Maybe he exaggerates sometimes just to get a reaction of out Jared, but Jensen has seen some fairly disturbing things happen in this very store.

"Well I guess that's all you can really hope for, right? Have to take the grocery store one day at a time." Jared is grinning, and Jensen rolls his eyes at him.

"You think it's funny," he says, "but the next time you need me to kill a spider for you? Don't be surprised when I stand back and watch you cry."

"You wouldn't really do that to me, would you?"

"We'll see, won't we?" Jensen says seriously.

Jared shakes his head in amused exasperation.

***

Jensen is throwing clothes in the washer, mostly taking care to make sure they are of similar color, when Jared crowds into the little laundry room with him, shutting the door behind him.

"What are you doing? This room is too small for this," Jensen complains. "And it gets too hot in here when you close that door."

"I've come to monitor you," Jared says as he leans back against the door and crosses his arms, watching Jensen closely. "I still don't fully trust you in here."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "What do you want, Jared?"

"I just got off the phone with my mom. She's going to be in town for some convention thing on Tuesday, and she wants to have dinner with us."

"Okay," Jensen says, pushing Jared away when he tries to help get the clothes in the washer but mostly just ends up getting in Jensen's way.

Jared steps back against the door again. "You'll go?"

"Of course I'll go," Jensen says. "When have I ever refused to do anything your mother wanted me to do?"

"I see your point."

"Exactly. Now go away, or I'll only wash my clothes."

"You wouldn't," Jared says. "You're too lazy to sort through them."

Jensen scowls at Jared until he leaves.

***

Jared grabs Jensen's hand when they're walking into the restaurant to meet Sharon. Jensen gives him a questioning look, and Jared shoots him a glare and holds his hand tighter.

"My mom and I had this whole conversation about how we shouldn't feel like we can't be physically affectionate in front of her," he says. Jensen laughs a little, but Jared shakes his head. "I think she was actually kind of offended."

"What?"

"I don’t even know. But I don't want to have that conversation again, so you're holding my hand right now."

"I guess if I have to," Jensen says.

"That's the spirit." Jared looks around. "There she is," he says; he gestures to a booth across the room and starts over, pulling Jensen behind him.

"Are we late?" Jared asks, letting go of Jensen's hand so Jensen can sit down closest to the wall before Jared slides in next to him.

"Not at all," Sharon assures them. "I've only been here a few minutes."

Their waiter comes up then, and Jensen waits for him to leave before he turns to Sharon. "How's the conference?" he asks.

"Oh, it's fine," she says. "Kind of boring."

They talk for a while, and then Jensen happens to glance up as someone is walking by, and when he sees who it is, he freezes. Jared must feel him tense up because he glances up too and turns to Jensen, his eyes wide.

"Was that...?" He lets the question trail off, probably afraid to say it in case he's wrong, but Jensen nods stiffly; Jared doesn't need to say it out loud. Jared only knows what Jensen's parents look like from the few pictures Jensen keeps in a box at the back of his closet and the one time he'd been with Jensen when he bumped into them at the zoo, of all places. But it's obviously enough for Jared to have recognized them as they walked by their table. Jared briefly glances at Sharon before leaning in close to Jensen. "You okay?" he asks softly, lips almost close enough to brush Jensen's ear.

"I'm fine," Jensen says, nodding again.

"We can go somewhere else."

"No," Jensen says a little sharply. He refuses to let his parents run him off like that, even if they won't know they're doing it. He takes a deep breath, letting it out before continuing in a normal voice. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Jared says, nodding; his lips brush against the side of Jensen's head, and Jensen isn't sure whether it's on purpose or not. "Let me know if you change your mind." He pulls back and studies Jensen's face for a second, nodding slightly before turning back to his mom. Jensen looks at her too; she's looking between them, a concerned expression on her face.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah," Jensen says. "That--um..."

"Jensen's parents are here," Jared finishes for him when it becomes clear Jensen isn't going to, and he slides his arm around Jensen and squeezes. Jensen nods gratefully.

"Oh," Sharon says, looking even more concerned.

Jensen smiles at her, feeling sheepish. "It's fine," he says. "It just doesn't happen often, so it always catches me off guard. But I'm fine."

She doesn't look like she quite believes him, but she nods and lets him change the subject, and Jared leaves his arm around Jensen until the waiter comes with their food.

***

"Are you really okay?" Jared asks once they get home. "You've been tense all night."

Jensen sighs tiredly. "I'll be fine. I don't know why I still let them get to me like that; it's stupid."

"It's not stupid," Jared says. "I don't know how you handle it as well as you do; I couldn't do it. If it were my parents, I--well, I don't know what I'd do. Not keep it together like you do, probably."

"Yeah. Well," Jensen says, running a hand over his face. He startles a little when Jared steps into his space but relaxes against him when he wraps his arms around Jensen.

"I'm serious," Jared says, and Jensen sighs, burying his face against Jared's neck and letting himself cling to him for a minute before pulling away. Jared backs away too, staring at Jensen for a moment. "Let's watch a movie," he says finally.

"Okay," Jensen agrees. It's late, and he's tired, but he knows Jared just wants to cheer him up. And Jared is actually pretty good at that most of the time, so Jensen might as well let him.

Jared takes up more space on the couch than is reasonable, like always, and Jensen can feel the tension start to drain out of his body as he settles in against him.

***

Jared yells at Chad at work one day and then goes home early, declaring that he's sick. Everybody knows it's not true, but nobody calls him on it either. Jensen can't blame anyone for getting the urge to yell at Chad, but that doesn't make the whole thing any less weird.

"What did you do?" Jensen asks Chad, and Chad shrugs, looking confused.

"I didn't do anything," he says. "Your boyfriend's just in a bitchy mood."

"He's not--" Jensen shakes his head and sighs. "Whatever."

"Seriously, though," Chad says. "You should, like, make sure he's okay or something. I've pissed him off a million times, but he's never acted that way."

"Maybe it was one time too many," Jensen says, but he doesn't honestly believe it. Chad just makes a face; he clearly doesn't believe it either.

Jared is on the couch watching TV when Jensen gets home; his face is pale, and his eyes are a little red. He looks like maybe he's going to cry, or has been crying, or something. Whatever it is, it's not very reassuring.

"Hey," Jensen says carefully as he sits down next to him, and Jared smiles at it him dimly.

"Hey."

"So. Chad really pissed you off, I guess."

Jared sighs and runs one hand through his hair. "He didn't actually do anything that bad," he says. "Maybe I should call him."

"I don't think he's upset or anything," Jensen says. "Uh--he's kind of worried about you, actually."

Jared grimaces. "Yeah."

"Yeah. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jared says, and Jensen doesn't think he's even trying to be convincing.

"Yeah." Jensen scratches at the back of his neck. "No offense or anything, but I don't really believe you. What's going on, man?"

"It's nothing," Jared says, sighing at Jensen's unconvinced look. "Okay, it's not nothing," he admits reluctantly, looking away. "But it's not really something either. I was feeling stressed out, and I took it out on Chad. Which sucks, I know, but I think I got it out of my system at least, so."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jared says, turning back to Jensen. "Mostly, anyway. I just need some time to cool down. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Jensen says. "So, uh--want me to fix something for dinner?"

That gets a legitimate grin out of Jared. "Do you promise not to give me food poisoning?"

"I didn't give myself food poisoning," Jensen says grumpily. "But yes, I promise not to give you food poisoning."

"All right," Jared says. "Thanks, Jensen."

***

Jensen pays Jared extra attention for the rest of the week, but he seems to have gotten over whatever was bothering him, and Jensen figures it'll be fine to drag him along to the party Katie's having on Saturday to celebrate finding a new job.

Katie's apartment is already filled with people by the time Jared and Jensen get there, and there is music playing so loud that Jensen will be surprised if nobody calls the cops before the night is through. It takes them several minutes to find Katie in the crowd.

"Hey," Jensen says, giving her a hug. "Congrats on the job."

"Yeah, congrats," Jared echoes.

"Thanks. I'm glad you both could make it."

"Like you'd notice if we didn't," Jensen says, gesturing vaguely around the room. "This is crazy. Your neighbors are going to hate you."

"That's why all of my neighbors are here," Katie tells him, grinning.

Jared laughs. "Well, that's one way to take care of that problem."

The three of them chat for several minutes before a friend of Katie's comes over and pulls her away to dance.

"We should dance too," Jared says, trying to direct Jensen toward the middle of the room.

Jensen groans and refuses to budge. "Can I at least get something to drink first?"

"Sure," Jared says cheerfully. "You're a better dancer when you're drunk anyway."

"Oh God, I changed my mind."

Jared snorts. "Come on; I promise not to let you do anything too embarrassing."

"You're not as reassuring as you think you are," Jensen says, but he follows Jared and accepts the beer he's handed.

Neither one of them actually gets drunk; they have a few beers each and spend the next several hours dancing or hanging out in the corner when they need a break. The party is still going strong when they leave, but Jensen is tired and sweaty, and he's had more than enough fun for one night.

"Past your bedtime, old man?" Jared asks when Jensen says he's ready to go.

"Fuck you," Jensen replies easily. "We have to work in the morning." Jared laughs but doesn't protest when Jensen shoves him toward the door.

They're comfortably silent on the way home; Jensen is glad to be away from the noise and heat of the party. Even as late as it is, it's still hot outside, but at least they're away from the stuffy, crowded apartment, and there is enough of a breeze to feel cool against Jensen's sweat damp skin. They live only a few blocks from Katie, so it doesn't take long for them to walk home.

Jensen shuts the door behind him once they've gotten inside their apartment. "Well, that was fun," he says.

"Yeah," Jared agrees, hovering a few feet from Jensen and biting his lip.

Jensen raises an eyebrow at him. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Jared says. Jensen watches him for a moment, and Jared stares back at him with his eyes a little wide and his mouth in a straight line. It's the look Jared gets when he's trying to appear innocent, but it's the worst innocent face ever; it only ever makes Jensen more suspicious.

"Okay then," Jensen says slowly. They stand there looking at each other for several long moments, and just when Jensen is about to ask why they're standing by their front door, staring at each other like a couple of idiots, Jared steps toward him, crowding Jensen up against the door.

"Jensen."

"Yeah," Jensen says; his voice comes out slightly shaky. Jared presses up against him, and Jensen sucks in a breath, tilting his head back a bit so he can look up at Jared. Their eyes lock, and Jensen can feel himself flush, going hot all over. He licks his lip and watches Jared track the movement with his eyes. "Jared--"

Jared cuts him off by leaning down and bringing their mouths together, and that's fine, awesome; Jensen doesn't know where he was taking that sentence anyway. Jared's tongue brushes against Jensen's lip, and Jensen opens his mouth, lets Jared slide his tongue in against his own. Jared lets out a noise, bites at Jensen's lip, and hooks his fingers through Jensen's belt loops and tugs. Jensen follows without question.

They don't get far; Jared pushes Jensen onto the couch and follows him down, covering Jensen's body with his own, falling between Jensen's spread legs. Jensen moans when he feels Jared's erection against his own half hard cock, and he slides one hand up the back of Jared's shirt, bringing the other up to tangle in Jared's hair, pressing their bodies closer together everywhere. Jared makes a rough noise and grinds down against Jensen, and Jensen realizes there are far too many items of clothing between them.

Jensen nudges Jared up, and their mouths separate long enough for Jensen to tug Jared's shirt off and then his own, carelessly tossing them both to the floor. Jensen runs his hands over Jared's chest and down, feeling the way Jared's stomach tenses when he rolls his hips against Jensen. He grinds their cocks together through their jeans and reminds Jensen there are more clothes that need to be gone.

Jensen manages to get Jared's belt undone easily but fumbles with his jeans, taking a moment to get the button undone before he's able to shove them down Jared's hips. Jared pulls up enough to shove his jeans down the rest of the way and kick them to the floor along with his shoes. Jensen wraps a hand around Jared's hip and tries to tug him back down, making a vaguely protesting noise when Jared resists. Then he realizes Jared is trying to get his jeans off as well, and Jensen scrambles to help, maneuvering around until they're gone.

When they're both down to just their boxer shorts, Jared drops back down onto Jensen, and Jensen can barely control himself; he hooks one leg around Jared, grinding against him clumsily. Jared brings his mouth down on Jensen's neck, sucking and biting as they continue to move together; Jensen's skin is buzzing, and he almost forgets what he's trying to do. He takes a deep breath, hoping the oxygen will help clear his head, and slides one hand down, hooking his thumb in the top of Jared's boxers.

"Jared--"

For some reason, Jared takes this as a signal to stop, which is definitely not what Jensen was going for. Jared lifts himself half off of Jensen, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"Fuck," Jared says.

"Jared, what--" Jared pulls away from Jensen, shaking Jensen's hand free from his waist as he sits up.

"God," Jared says, running a hand through his hair and looking around a little wildly. "I'm sorry,"

Jensen sits up and reaches out to touch Jared, hesitating when Jared flinches. "What--"

"I think I drank too much," Jared says, even though Jensen knows it's not true. "This is a bad idea." Jared stands up, gathering his clothes, and Jensen scrambles to his feet, gaping at Jared.

"Jared, you're not--come on, man." Jensen's mind is whirling; the sudden shift in Jared has apparently left him unable to form a single coherent thought. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Jared says again. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking; I don't want--just--I'm really sorry, okay?" Jared bites his lip, looking at Jensen for a moment before turning and going to his room. Jensen is incapable of doing anything but stare after Jared stupidly, unsure.

It takes several minutes for Jensen to get himself together so he can collect his own discarded clothes and head to his room. Jared's door is closed when Jensen reaches it, and he pauses, standing in the hallway for a moment before he gets the courage to knock. His heart beats rapidly; suddenly he's nervous about what he's going to say if Jared comes to the door. It doesn't matter, though; Jared doesn't answer, and after a few minutes Jensen continues down the hall to his own room, closing his door quietly behind him and going to bed.

***

Jensen is reluctant to get out of bed the next morning, and by the time he's convinced himself to go into the kitchen, he is running decidedly late.

"Morning," Jared says when he looks up to see Jensen standing aimlessly in the kitchen doorway. "You better eat. You're running kind of late."

"Yeah," Jensen says, stepping over to get a bowl out of the cabinet. He pours himself some cereal and sits down at the table before he realizes he's not even really hungry, and even though it's the good cereal and not the cardboard stuff, he can only bring himself to take a few bites.

"I'll grab you some coffee on my way to work," Jared says as he's leaving. "You probably won't have time."

Jensen stares at him blankly for a few seconds. "Um. Thanks."

"No problem. See you there."

Jensen hears the front door close a minute later and gets up to pour his cereal down the sink.

***

Jensen watches Jared closely at work whenever he gets the chance, but Jared acts completely normal. Like nothing out of the ordinary happened the night before, like he didn't leave Jensen in the living room more than half naked with no explanation at all. Jensen takes a moment to consider if he didn't imagine the whole thing. He doesn't think he's that out of touch with reality, though, and there's supporting evidence in the bruises on his collar bone, put there by Jared's mouth.

So clearly it happened; Jared is just pretending it didn't. And Jensen is not entirely sure what to make of it, but he figures he shouldn't feel angry. Confused, yes--and he's got that covered, too--but there's no reason for him to grit his teeth every time Jared looks at him. And when Jared actually speaks to him, cheerful as usual, Jensen has to resist shaking him until he explains exactly what the fuck he's playing at. It's almost like Jensen would rather have Jared freaking out, which--it doesn't make sense. Jensen feels ridiculous.

But if Jared's not going to make this into a thing, Jensen won't either. They'll ignore it, act like it never happened.

Part Three