First off, I'm totally going to reply to your email. I haven't been avoiding it, I just wanted to say something intelligent in response and this week has not been so good for me intelligence-wise.
Advice: hmmm, not so good with the guy advice. Can you discuss your expectations with him, or would that be weird? I think you should just be honest and say that you're not really into the dancing and drinking, and see if he's cool with that. If you think he's going to ditch you, or if you just don't think you're going to have any fun, then I think you should say no and do what you want.
And yes, of course I'm watching Bones. I can't remember which episode that was, though. Are you still watching season 3, with the Gormagon stuff? Do you know what happens in future episodes, or have you kept away from spoilers?
I thought every week was a good week for you intelligence-wise?
I have discussed it with him - somewhat weird, but deemed necessary - and he keeps acknowledging that it might not be the same as going with someone else, but then he just keeps asking. (Should I be getting something from this?)
Yes,still watching season 3, and I've managed to keep away from spoilers. What season are you in?
Hmmm, I'm guessing this means he wants you to go with him? Just a shot in the dark here. But seriously, maybe he really understands that you don't want to do these things and is cool with not doing them too, and maybe he doesn't. Did he say he's cool with not drinking and maybe not dancing as much?
I'm on the current season, season four. I really want to know when you get to the end of season 3, though. Something super important happens.
He is probably going to drink a lot at the after party, so even if I do go to the formal, I won't go to the after party. As for not dancing...I don't know. I think he'd feel somewhat obligated to spend some time just sitting with me, but I also don't want to sort of hold him back in that regard.
Okay...super important, huh? (It is really bugging me always being behind.)
He's aware that I'm not fond of dancing or drinking.
I...might be persuaded to half-dance? I don't know, it takes a lot of convincing.
I know he'll get drunk, at least at the after party, but I don't think he'll expect me to do anything.
Yes, I enjoy his company.
I...am torn about whether or not I want to go. I almost want a second chance at a formal to see if it's possible for them to not suck, but I'm also still me, and my self-consciousness is not just going to go away because I'm wearing a pretty dress and like my date, if that makes sense.
Agreed about Star Wars! One of the boys at hockey was asking me if I was a geek because I was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, and I just grinned at him and said "Well, yeah."
I am perhaps not resting as much as I should be, and I'm trying to cut down on dairy. I have these things called Cold FX that are an herbal remedy for colds, and I'm taking a zillion of them a day.
well, i didn't go to my formal and really it's never been a big deal to me. but if it's the sort of thing you'd like to try again, maybe you can have a 'getaway plan'. have a cab card ready? or something let him know that if you go to the party and are really uncomfortable that you will go home. find out if he would be ok with this, or if he would feel abandoned.
sorry that i gave you such a laundry list of things then. i hope you are feeling a little better. you know that there's nothing that replaces rest. our society is all about taking stuff so that you can continue on business as usual, but that's really not good for your body!
*hugs you*
i have my own dilema at the moment. my step sister is getting married next weekend. dress code is 'cocktail'. wtf? i hardly wear shoes most days. WHAT WILL I WEAR? :(
Could you manage to get through the formal and then just not go to the after-party, perhaps? Then you can avoid the drinking altogether, and maybe have fun being there with him/friends at the formal.
That's what I was thinking. It's just that I don't know his friends at all, and I tend to be painfully awkward when meeting new people...so I don't think that'd be particularly good for him or me.
Out of curiosity, is this a guy I know? But frankly, I think you should do what you're comfortable doing. If you'd be unhappy there, you really shouldn't go.
Wait, is this hockey boy who wants to fly planes, but possibly has a girlfriend? See, I do remember things. And will it mess with your friendship if you say no?
Oh good. I hope it's just a cold and not glandular fever. Or allergies.
I WANT TO SEE THEM IN PERSON. AND POSSIBLY TRY THEM ON.
Nope, different hockey boy. (That one, for the record, does have a girlfriend, and they have been on-again, off-again for the past two years, so....not touching that one!) It will not mess up our friendship, no.
Me, too.
THEY ARE WORKS OF ~ART~, SAMANTHA! YOU CANNOT JUST TRY THEM ON WILLY-NILLY!
I am short on time, I'm off to watch "The Other Boleyn Girl". OMG Eric Bana!!! But I wanted to say that you should talk to this guy about your dislike of dancing & drinking. Definitely skip the after-party. If he is a person that you don't feel comfortable discussing this with, then you should save yourself the discomfort of spending a socially awkward evening at this formal. If he really likes you and wants to spend the time with you then he will probably make sure that you are comfortable & have a good time.
Go see the doctor as soon as you get a chance. I am not really concerned though because just about everyone I know has had a persistent cold lasting a month or more in the past year. I've had it twice already and I usually don't get sick more than once a year. But, you should still get it checked out and maybe the doc will have recommendations to ease your suffering.
Btw, I love you and I've missed talking to you lately. That's my fault and I'm sorry. <333333333
No, I have discussed it with him, and he knows how socially awkward I am generally anyway. It's just that he seems to think that it's easy for me to just flick that off, like I'm just not trying hard enough to relax. If I did go, I'd definitely skip the after-party. I just worry about me sitting at a table on my own while he dances with someone, feeling sort of alone.
See, I have the most horrifying immune system in the world. And, according to my mother, it totally breaks down everytime I am nervous and/or excited about something. So, before Nationals and testing week? Terrible cold & then stomach flu. And before the Panic concert was when this cold started, so.
It's not your fault! I could easily have left you a long, rambling comment somewhere. But yes, I've missed talking to you as well. <3
People who don't suffer from it, could never understand social anxiety. Just as we can never comprehend how some people can just feel comfortable in any social situation. Yes, that's the big dilemma. I've been in that situation and it sucks. You just have to think hard about how you will deal with it if you wind up alone and if it's worth the risk. (Bring a book and a music player if you go.)
I truly hope you get better soon and have a long period of calm and good health.
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Advice: hmmm, not so good with the guy advice. Can you discuss your expectations with him, or would that be weird? I think you should just be honest and say that you're not really into the dancing and drinking, and see if he's cool with that. If you think he's going to ditch you, or if you just don't think you're going to have any fun, then I think you should say no and do what you want.
And yes, of course I'm watching Bones. I can't remember which episode that was, though. Are you still watching season 3, with the Gormagon stuff? Do you know what happens in future episodes, or have you kept away from spoilers?
Reply
I have discussed it with him - somewhat weird, but deemed necessary - and he keeps acknowledging that it might not be the same as going with someone else, but then he just keeps asking. (Should I be getting something from this?)
Yes,still watching season 3, and I've managed to keep away from spoilers. What season are you in?
Reply
Hmmm, I'm guessing this means he wants you to go with him? Just a shot in the dark here. But seriously, maybe he really understands that you don't want to do these things and is cool with not doing them too, and maybe he doesn't. Did he say he's cool with not drinking and maybe not dancing as much?
I'm on the current season, season four. I really want to know when you get to the end of season 3, though. Something super important happens.
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He is probably going to drink a lot at the after party, so even if I do go to the formal, I won't go to the after party. As for not dancing...I don't know. I think he'd feel somewhat obligated to spend some time just sitting with me, but I also don't want to sort of hold him back in that regard.
Okay...super important, huh? (It is really bugging me always being behind.)
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is he aware that you do not wish to drink?
are you prepared to stand and move on the spot for a bit with him in lieu of actually dancing?
do you think he'll get drunk and start expecting you to 'pay up' for the 'date'?
do you enjoy his company?
do you want to go?
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re the cold. are you doing the vitamin c thing? the olive leaf and/or ecinacea(sp?) thing? cutting down on dairy and RESTING.
cos anything the doctor tells you has to be improved with those things.
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He's aware that I'm not fond of dancing or drinking.
I...might be persuaded to half-dance? I don't know, it takes a lot of convincing.
I know he'll get drunk, at least at the after party, but I don't think he'll expect me to do anything.
Yes, I enjoy his company.
I...am torn about whether or not I want to go. I almost want a second chance at a formal to see if it's possible for them to not suck, but I'm also still me, and my self-consciousness is not just going to go away because I'm wearing a pretty dress and like my date, if that makes sense.
Agreed about Star Wars! One of the boys at hockey was asking me if I was a geek because I was wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, and I just grinned at him and said "Well, yeah."
I am perhaps not resting as much as I should be, and I'm trying to cut down on dairy. I have these things called Cold FX that are an herbal remedy for colds, and I'm taking a zillion of them a day.
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sorry that i gave you such a laundry list of things then. i hope you are feeling a little better. you know that there's nothing that replaces rest. our society is all about taking stuff so that you can continue on business as usual, but that's really not good for your body!
*hugs you*
i have my own dilema at the moment. my step sister is getting married next weekend. dress code is 'cocktail'. wtf? i hardly wear shoes most days. WHAT WILL I WEAR? :(
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*concerned for your cold-ness*
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*is appreciative of your concern*
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Doctor, yes! You've had a cold for five weeks?
OH MY GOD, THE ONE WITH ANTLERS, I WANT IT.
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Yes. Five weeks is a while, isn't it? I have a doctor's appointment for this Saturday.
THEY ARE AWESOME, NO?
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Oh good. I hope it's just a cold and not glandular fever. Or allergies.
I WANT TO SEE THEM IN PERSON. AND POSSIBLY TRY THEM ON.
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Me, too.
THEY ARE WORKS OF ~ART~, SAMANTHA! YOU CANNOT JUST TRY THEM ON WILLY-NILLY!
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Go see the doctor as soon as you get a chance. I am not really concerned though because just about everyone I know has had a persistent cold lasting a month or more in the past year. I've had it twice already and I usually don't get sick more than once a year. But, you should still get it checked out and maybe the doc will have recommendations to ease your suffering.
Btw, I love you and I've missed talking to you lately. That's my fault and I'm sorry. <333333333
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See, I have the most horrifying immune system in the world. And, according to my mother, it totally breaks down everytime I am nervous and/or excited about something. So, before Nationals and testing week? Terrible cold & then stomach flu. And before the Panic concert was when this cold started, so.
It's not your fault! I could easily have left you a long, rambling comment somewhere. But yes, I've missed talking to you as well. <3
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I truly hope you get better soon and have a long period of calm and good health.
<3
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