my response
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, I didn't quite know what to think at first...
To be honest, I didn't even read this when Grandmother sent it. I've gotten into the habit of deleting anything from her that says "Fwd:" in the subject line. I know these kinds of these are supposed to have good messages but they always seem to work on guilt: "Send this back if you really love me," or "If you don't read this then you don't love God" or something like that. I think it's absolutely ridiculous when people think that forwarded e-mails are a valid judge of someone's love and gratitude. I am a firm believer that people express their emotions through their actions much more effectively than through their words. That's how I feel about you too...we may not always talk about things like this but just by being a good father I know you care. I don't know what this talk about you wanting me to be perfect is all about, I don't see that at all. If you think that pushing me to be the best that I can and encouraging me to test my limits is a bad thing, then I think we disagree there. If you and mom didn't push me then I wouldn't have built the desire to push myself and I would be one lazy sonofabitch. The part where you said you feel like you've failed your family really bothered me. I don't know how serious to take that, because it seems like you wrote this in a spur-of-the-moment episode so I hope that you aren't serious when you say that because it's preposterous. No one is perfect and I certainly don't expect you to be any different. You've been a great father, and if you think that you're a failure then just take a look around at some of my friends' fathers. I have plenty of friends whose dads just left them and weren't involved with their childhood at all. THAT'S being a failed father. The fact that you stuck it out and did your best says a lot about your character and dedication to your family. Besides, I'm not exactly a great son. I was a real shithead growing up (and still am sometimes...lol) for no reason and I just went around thinking I knew everything and that you and mom are idiots. But now that I'm out on my own I have a huge appreciation for just how much you've taught me, especially after living with someone like Bobby who had virtually no guidance growing up. I think you're being really hard on yourself and I would say not to take the e-mail so seriously. I think it's a good thing that it made you step back and think for a minute and appreciate things in your life that you sometimes take for granted, but I wouldn't let it make you feel guilty or too down on yourself. Well, I'm not very good at all this sappy stuff but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Thanks for taking the time to do the same for me.
Love,
Ian
To be honest, I didn't even read this when Grandmother sent it. I've gotten into the habit of deleting anything from her that says "Fwd:" in the subject line. I know these kinds of these are supposed to have good messages but they always seem to work on guilt: "Send this back if you really love me," or "If you don't read this then you don't love God" or something like that. I think it's absolutely ridiculous when people think that forwarded e-mails are a valid judge of someone's love and gratitude. I am a firm believer that people express their emotions through their actions much more effectively than through their words. That's how I feel about you too...we may not always talk about things like this but just by being a good father I know you care. I don't know what this talk about you wanting me to be perfect is all about, I don't see that at all. If you think that pushing me to be the best that I can and encouraging me to test my limits is a bad thing, then I think we disagree there. If you and mom didn't push me then I wouldn't have built the desire to push myself and I would be one lazy sonofabitch. The part where you said you feel like you've failed your family really bothered me. I don't know how serious to take that, because it seems like you wrote this in a spur-of-the-moment episode so I hope that you aren't serious when you say that because it's preposterous. No one is perfect and I certainly don't expect you to be any different. You've been a great father, and if you think that you're a failure then just take a look around at some of my friends' fathers. I have plenty of friends whose dads just left them and weren't involved with their childhood at all. THAT'S being a failed father. The fact that you stuck it out and did your best says a lot about your character and dedication to your family. Besides, I'm not exactly a great son. I was a real shithead growing up (and still am sometimes...lol) for no reason and I just went around thinking I knew everything and that you and mom are idiots. But now that I'm out on my own I have a huge appreciation for just how much you've taught me, especially after living with someone like Bobby who had virtually no guidance growing up. I think you're being really hard on yourself and I would say not to take the e-mail so seriously. I think it's a good thing that it made you step back and think for a minute and appreciate things in your life that you sometimes take for granted, but I wouldn't let it make you feel guilty or too down on yourself. Well, I'm not very good at all this sappy stuff but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. Thanks for taking the time to do the same for me.
Love,
Ian