You know you're a Pens fan when....
If you meet any of these criteria, you might have a (healthy) addiction to Pittsburgh Penguins hockey
-Phrases like "Scratch my back with a hacksaw," "Smilin' like a butcher's dog," and "Oh, Eddie Spaghetti!" mean something to you
-You can pronounce and/or spell names like Krzysztof Oliwa, Lasse Pirjeta, Kjell Samuelsson, Joe Dziedzic, and Guillaume Lefebvre with relative ease.
-You know the National Anthem just isn't the same unless it's sung by Jeff Jimerson.
-You'd stand in subzero temperatures, ****, or high water for several hours for a $20 ticket.
-You have a dislike toward Kansas City only because they covetED your beloved team.
-You get fired up when you hear the "Boys of Winter" theme song.
-The best Christmas gift you recieved in 2000 came 2 days late, when Mario Lemieux returned to action.
-You passionately loathe David Volek.
-You refrain from calling Sudden Death a bad movie because it features the Igloo and the Pens
-The day after Keith Primeau's 5 OT game winner was one of the longest, worst days of your life.
-You know Crosby > Ovechkin
-You know Lemieux > Gretzky
-You know that Jagr just wasn't the same after he cut the mullet and Johan Hedberg just wasn't the same without the original Moose mask.
-You cringe at the sound of "Cotton Eyed Joe"
-You will mute the TV so you can still hear Mike Lange
-You can name the "Jagr Three"
-"Vegas Gold" is a commonplace color to you
-In Ray Shero you trust
-Deep down you have a part of you that hopes Alexei Kovalev comes back
-No matter your political views, you embrace the "Evolution"
-You've ever done a John Barbero impression, drawing out "Lemieuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuux" or "Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrosbeeeeeeee"
-You despise Jason Blake, Derian Hatcher, Maxime Lapierre, Don Cherry, Bryan Murray, Ted Nolan or anyone else that takes liberties with Sid the Kid
-Mark Recchi is the most fit 39 year old you know
-Gary Roberts is the most fit 40 year old you know
-And you know not even Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer at his finest could take Super Mario
-You call the Mellon Arena "The Igloo" and know it will always be the Penguins true home, and as much as you want and need a new arena, will still be sad when it's gone.
-You feel a special connection to the 1980 Gold Medal team and feel privileged to have called Herb Brooks coach.
-You've had Jagr Peanut Butter in your pantry or Kasparaitis Krunchers in your fridge.
-Ordinary arena nachos, or cotton candy from the Cotton Candy Man just taste better because they are consumed in the Igloo
-you know the bankruptcies, arena power outages, and threats of moving have made us the toughest fans in hockey
-You know who Frank Pietrangelo denied on "The Save"
-You remember the shark fin signs that fans would hold up as the organist played the "Jaws" theme before power plays. (This was even before the San Jose Sharks)
-You continue to follow the career of Rico Fata (7 goals, 10 assists for the Mannheim Eagles of the German Hockey League) Thanks for the update Stephen Witmer
-You cheered for them even though they were the worst team in the NHL for the past 5 or so years, no matter how painful it was
-You yell out, "How much time's left?", only to be answered with "One minute remaining in the period...One minute" by John Barbero
-You know who broke Mario's wrist in the "slash heard 'round the world"
-You can name one of the no-namers that Mario fought in his career (Bobby Gould, Bob Carpenter, Gary Lupul, Todd Krygier, and Brad Ference)
-You're somewhat bothered by the fact that Van Damme kicked Iceburgh's *** in Sudden Death
-You know what former Pens forward played goalie Brad Tolliver in Sudden Death
-You know that Malkin's hometown translates to "Steel City" in Russian, meaning he was destined to play in Pittsburgh
-You know that Pittsburgh would not be the same without its Penguins and the Penguins would not be the same without Pittsburgh
-You remember the game Steve McKenna wore the captain's "C" on his jersey in Mario's absence.
-You followed the Czech Republic team in the Olympics because half of the team consisted of Pens players
-You think of Le Magnifique every time you hear Tina Turner's "Simply The Best"
-You fondly remember the sea of white towels in Mellon Arena during the late 90's playoff runs, or the yellow pom-poms from the '92 Cup run
-You NEVER get tired of beating up on the Flyers
-You remember watching games on KBL before FSN Pittsburgh was around, or even PenVision
-A little part of you died inside when Mario retired in 2006 and you knew it was for good this time.
-if Mario's "Immaculate Deflection" in game 6 vs. Buffalo in 2001 means more to you than the "Immaculate Reception"
-The "F" word to you is spelled F-U, KC!
-You have fond memories of Kasparaitis' Penguin dive after he scored on Hasek in OT
-If you never tire of watching Christensen's "Power move" in shootouts, followed by a modest celebration and wonder when goalies are gonna catch on
-If you ever donned a pair of bright yellow foam moose antlers and bellowed out "MOOOOOOOOOOOOSE"
-You don't care much for rap, but you completely love the fact Snoop Dogg wore a Pens jersey in a video once
-You don't even consider the Caps a rival anymore because we've owned them that much
-You find yourself angry when the Versus announcers refer to #7 as Maxime Ouellet and #25 as Michel Talbot
-You have eaten a Mario Bun Bar, or saved Wheaties, Frosted Flakes, IC Light and Iron City stuff with the Pens logo on it
-"One From the Heart" or "Against All Odds" were your favorite movies growing up
-You have Penguins theme music and horn on your computer
-You'd wait in single digit temperatures for Pens autographs
-Lord Stanley has given you the brandy
-You remember when the Carnegie/Heidelberg exit on 279 became the Carnegie/He d berg exit
-You remember Frankie Leroux cracking skulls and setting up Luc Robitaille for an OT game winner
-You have stacks of old Post-Gazettes and Tribs laying around from Pens victories (Bonus points if you still have Penguins Reports laying around, anyone remember those? And the posters that came with them?)
-You think TC is the greatest vendor in the history of sports
-You remember where you were when you heard the Pens were staying in Tha Burgh
-You remember Joey Mullen's neck brace
-You know who Slippery Rock Joe, the Ol' Two-Niner, Artie, the Wreckin' Ball, Johnny Vermont, Geno, and the Gronk are
-You know we've had arguably the three greatest coaches in hockey history (Badger, Herbie, Scotty)
-You've embraced the nicknames of "Downtown" Robbie Brown and "Flyin'" Ryan Malone
-You went to Eat 'n Park just to collect the series of Mario Commemorative Glasses
-You remember the X-Generation when we pinned our hopes to players like Kelly Buchberger, Mike Eastwood, Ramzi Abid and Tom Kostopolous
-You'll never forget Andy Chiodo's stick slamming celebration after his first NHL win and the OT win in Phoenix nights before where we finally broke that losing streak
-Two words: Peter Skudra
-You cried tears of joy, danced in the streets, drank excessively or otherwise celebrated wildly on 3/13/07 after hearing the good news
-You KNOW we're the hockey gods' favorite team
-And most importantly, Badger Bob has convinced you that EVERY day is a great day for hockey.
Cross posted to I_W_P
-Phrases like "Scratch my back with a hacksaw," "Smilin' like a butcher's dog," and "Oh, Eddie Spaghetti!" mean something to you
-You can pronounce and/or spell names like Krzysztof Oliwa, Lasse Pirjeta, Kjell Samuelsson, Joe Dziedzic, and Guillaume Lefebvre with relative ease.
-You know the National Anthem just isn't the same unless it's sung by Jeff Jimerson.
-You'd stand in subzero temperatures, ****, or high water for several hours for a $20 ticket.
-You have a dislike toward Kansas City only because they covetED your beloved team.
-You get fired up when you hear the "Boys of Winter" theme song.
-The best Christmas gift you recieved in 2000 came 2 days late, when Mario Lemieux returned to action.
-You passionately loathe David Volek.
-You refrain from calling Sudden Death a bad movie because it features the Igloo and the Pens
-The day after Keith Primeau's 5 OT game winner was one of the longest, worst days of your life.
-You know Crosby > Ovechkin
-You know Lemieux > Gretzky
-You know that Jagr just wasn't the same after he cut the mullet and Johan Hedberg just wasn't the same without the original Moose mask.
-You cringe at the sound of "Cotton Eyed Joe"
-You will mute the TV so you can still hear Mike Lange
-You can name the "Jagr Three"
-"Vegas Gold" is a commonplace color to you
-In Ray Shero you trust
-Deep down you have a part of you that hopes Alexei Kovalev comes back
-No matter your political views, you embrace the "Evolution"
-You've ever done a John Barbero impression, drawing out "Lemieuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuux" or "Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrosbeeeeeeee"
-You despise Jason Blake, Derian Hatcher, Maxime Lapierre, Don Cherry, Bryan Murray, Ted Nolan or anyone else that takes liberties with Sid the Kid
-Mark Recchi is the most fit 39 year old you know
-Gary Roberts is the most fit 40 year old you know
-And you know not even Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer at his finest could take Super Mario
-You call the Mellon Arena "The Igloo" and know it will always be the Penguins true home, and as much as you want and need a new arena, will still be sad when it's gone.
-You feel a special connection to the 1980 Gold Medal team and feel privileged to have called Herb Brooks coach.
-You've had Jagr Peanut Butter in your pantry or Kasparaitis Krunchers in your fridge.
-Ordinary arena nachos, or cotton candy from the Cotton Candy Man just taste better because they are consumed in the Igloo
-you know the bankruptcies, arena power outages, and threats of moving have made us the toughest fans in hockey
-You know who Frank Pietrangelo denied on "The Save"
-You remember the shark fin signs that fans would hold up as the organist played the "Jaws" theme before power plays. (This was even before the San Jose Sharks)
-You continue to follow the career of Rico Fata (7 goals, 10 assists for the Mannheim Eagles of the German Hockey League) Thanks for the update Stephen Witmer
-You cheered for them even though they were the worst team in the NHL for the past 5 or so years, no matter how painful it was
-You yell out, "How much time's left?", only to be answered with "One minute remaining in the period...One minute" by John Barbero
-You know who broke Mario's wrist in the "slash heard 'round the world"
-You can name one of the no-namers that Mario fought in his career (Bobby Gould, Bob Carpenter, Gary Lupul, Todd Krygier, and Brad Ference)
-You're somewhat bothered by the fact that Van Damme kicked Iceburgh's *** in Sudden Death
-You know what former Pens forward played goalie Brad Tolliver in Sudden Death
-You know that Malkin's hometown translates to "Steel City" in Russian, meaning he was destined to play in Pittsburgh
-You know that Pittsburgh would not be the same without its Penguins and the Penguins would not be the same without Pittsburgh
-You remember the game Steve McKenna wore the captain's "C" on his jersey in Mario's absence.
-You followed the Czech Republic team in the Olympics because half of the team consisted of Pens players
-You think of Le Magnifique every time you hear Tina Turner's "Simply The Best"
-You fondly remember the sea of white towels in Mellon Arena during the late 90's playoff runs, or the yellow pom-poms from the '92 Cup run
-You NEVER get tired of beating up on the Flyers
-You remember watching games on KBL before FSN Pittsburgh was around, or even PenVision
-A little part of you died inside when Mario retired in 2006 and you knew it was for good this time.
-if Mario's "Immaculate Deflection" in game 6 vs. Buffalo in 2001 means more to you than the "Immaculate Reception"
-The "F" word to you is spelled F-U, KC!
-You have fond memories of Kasparaitis' Penguin dive after he scored on Hasek in OT
-If you never tire of watching Christensen's "Power move" in shootouts, followed by a modest celebration and wonder when goalies are gonna catch on
-If you ever donned a pair of bright yellow foam moose antlers and bellowed out "MOOOOOOOOOOOOSE"
-You don't care much for rap, but you completely love the fact Snoop Dogg wore a Pens jersey in a video once
-You don't even consider the Caps a rival anymore because we've owned them that much
-You find yourself angry when the Versus announcers refer to #7 as Maxime Ouellet and #25 as Michel Talbot
-You have eaten a Mario Bun Bar, or saved Wheaties, Frosted Flakes, IC Light and Iron City stuff with the Pens logo on it
-"One From the Heart" or "Against All Odds" were your favorite movies growing up
-You have Penguins theme music and horn on your computer
-You'd wait in single digit temperatures for Pens autographs
-Lord Stanley has given you the brandy
-You remember when the Carnegie/Heidelberg exit on 279 became the Carnegie/He d berg exit
-You remember Frankie Leroux cracking skulls and setting up Luc Robitaille for an OT game winner
-You have stacks of old Post-Gazettes and Tribs laying around from Pens victories (Bonus points if you still have Penguins Reports laying around, anyone remember those? And the posters that came with them?)
-You think TC is the greatest vendor in the history of sports
-You remember where you were when you heard the Pens were staying in Tha Burgh
-You remember Joey Mullen's neck brace
-You know who Slippery Rock Joe, the Ol' Two-Niner, Artie, the Wreckin' Ball, Johnny Vermont, Geno, and the Gronk are
-You know we've had arguably the three greatest coaches in hockey history (Badger, Herbie, Scotty)
-You've embraced the nicknames of "Downtown" Robbie Brown and "Flyin'" Ryan Malone
-You went to Eat 'n Park just to collect the series of Mario Commemorative Glasses
-You remember the X-Generation when we pinned our hopes to players like Kelly Buchberger, Mike Eastwood, Ramzi Abid and Tom Kostopolous
-You'll never forget Andy Chiodo's stick slamming celebration after his first NHL win and the OT win in Phoenix nights before where we finally broke that losing streak
-Two words: Peter Skudra
-You cried tears of joy, danced in the streets, drank excessively or otherwise celebrated wildly on 3/13/07 after hearing the good news
-You KNOW we're the hockey gods' favorite team
-And most importantly, Badger Bob has convinced you that EVERY day is a great day for hockey.
Cross posted to I_W_P