(no subject)
I'm really lonely.
I just want that out there, I guess. I'm out of the woods insofar as aching heartbreak goes, and I feel pretty clear that while the situation sucked, I'm really pretty glad that things are over with Sara and I. I have some concrete proof of this, as we were forced to hang out at court on Monday (ask me for the backstory if you care, its not that interesting and kind of complex) when we were subpoened and it was totally fine. We even joked around, had fun, and ate breakfast together without me losing it before, during or after. I was really able to see the good things about us, and the things that made it not work, and not feel nostalgic or angry, just a little wistful.
But I am really, really, lonely. I'm recognizing how I don't have any other super close relationships in my life, which is the result of circumstance and my own choices, and its feeling hard to either rebuild or create them right now. I'm not asking for anything, per se, just putting it out there in hopes that naming it will help to change it.
al
I just want that out there, I guess. I'm out of the woods insofar as aching heartbreak goes, and I feel pretty clear that while the situation sucked, I'm really pretty glad that things are over with Sara and I. I have some concrete proof of this, as we were forced to hang out at court on Monday (ask me for the backstory if you care, its not that interesting and kind of complex) when we were subpoened and it was totally fine. We even joked around, had fun, and ate breakfast together without me losing it before, during or after. I was really able to see the good things about us, and the things that made it not work, and not feel nostalgic or angry, just a little wistful.
But I am really, really, lonely. I'm recognizing how I don't have any other super close relationships in my life, which is the result of circumstance and my own choices, and its feeling hard to either rebuild or create them right now. I'm not asking for anything, per se, just putting it out there in hopes that naming it will help to change it.
al