8
Annoying Self-Analysis
Normally I would categorize myself as a sane individual, just an ordinary teenager trying to be normal, but inder the circumstances that assessment just doesn't hold up. It's true that I'm in Desai so that I can avoid being dragged into irritating supernatural occurances back home, but as I've actively sought them out here too, it's clearly an insufficient reason.
As much as I find the irrationality of the world around me disconcerting and even irritating, it's also the truth that I've come to value it. Or maybe that I've always valued it. I convinced myself that I'd outgrown childish fantasies of science fictional adventure, but I've also declined every chance to avoid such adventures since they began. In fact, it's worse than that. As with most childish daydreams, my own always featured me as the protagonist, heroically setting the world right, and even an armchair psychiatrist could see that that's what I've been doing here, continuing to snoop and investigate despite my lack of training or special abilities, something the people around me, including many otehr investigators, possess in abundance. Freud would have a field day inside my head with Lancelot complexes, inferiority complexes, or even delusions of grandeur, but diagnosing myself as a lunatic really isn't very helpful.
Unlike Haruhi, I truly don't want this world -- or myself -- to change.
Normally I would categorize myself as a sane individual, just an ordinary teenager trying to be normal, but inder the circumstances that assessment just doesn't hold up. It's true that I'm in Desai so that I can avoid being dragged into irritating supernatural occurances back home, but as I've actively sought them out here too, it's clearly an insufficient reason.
As much as I find the irrationality of the world around me disconcerting and even irritating, it's also the truth that I've come to value it. Or maybe that I've always valued it. I convinced myself that I'd outgrown childish fantasies of science fictional adventure, but I've also declined every chance to avoid such adventures since they began. In fact, it's worse than that. As with most childish daydreams, my own always featured me as the protagonist, heroically setting the world right, and even an armchair psychiatrist could see that that's what I've been doing here, continuing to snoop and investigate despite my lack of training or special abilities, something the people around me, including many otehr investigators, possess in abundance. Freud would have a field day inside my head with Lancelot complexes, inferiority complexes, or even delusions of grandeur, but diagnosing myself as a lunatic really isn't very helpful.
Unlike Haruhi, I truly don't want this world -- or myself -- to change.