Random Third Person Post of Crack Narration

[notimmaculate]

Today is Mary's birthday, but you knew that. At least, you should hope you knew it. Mary is calmly sitting on a plush couch in one of the mansion's corners. She is knitting, using the only present she has so far received. The yarn is dark blue and the product nearly shapeless, but don't tell her that

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[aiming_blind]

*we are going to pretend that it's still her birthday, as this would have been posted then had the typist's internet not died a sad, horrible and irritatingly prolonged death*

*leans against the arm of the couch, arms crossed over his chest, and watches her in silence for a moment* You know, were you any other woman, this scene would be almost innocent. As it is, you may be the only person I know who can make knitting feel like a reason to be wary. *not a word of it sounds unkind, simply factual*

[notimmaculate]

*doesn't look up, but pauses in her knitting to press one of the needles to her finger tip gently, where it instantly draws blood* I would rather it not be apparent. Is there some way to improve my ruse?

[aiming_blind]

*lips twitch into a half smile that's unmistakably marked with fondness, though it only lasts for an instant* To be honest, it might simply be evident because I know you.

[notimmaculate]

You will forgive me if that is not so reassuring. *puts her knitting down and finally turns to look at him* *he might, just maybe, if looking very closely, notice that she is not entirely calm*

[aiming_blind]

And I hope you will forgive me for being unable to provide more reassurance than that. *is quite perceptive, particularly where family is concerned, and will raise his eyebrows slightly but say nothing*

[notimmaculate]

You are forgiven. *realizes she looks rather more concerned than she would like, and clears it up as fast she can* The powers that be here have taken a liking to me, I believe.

[aiming_blind]

Have they, now? Is it truly a liking or is it more a perverse interest in making you as uncomfortable in your own skin as possible whenever the chance arises?

[notimmaculate]

One can never be certain with the divine, but I would stake several prized possessions on it being the latter. I spent half the day forty years younger than my current accustomed condition.

[aiming_blind]

Ah. *brow quirk* Interesting happy birthday, that.

[notimmaculate]

So you have remembered.

[aiming_blind]

Of course. Were you expecting me to forget? Come now, I have a somewhat better memory than that.

[notimmaculate]

I make no such assumptions in anyone's case. You are the fourth to mention it today, and one was informed a short time ago. She, too, spent a part of the day in a considerably younger form.

[aiming_blind]

Ah. *nods faintly* Was this time around better or worse than our literal second childhood?

[notimmaculate]

Better in the sense that it ended with considerably less pain and vocal stress, yet worse in the sense that the other young woman was the mother of the family with which our children have managed to start a feud.

[aiming_blind]

Hmm. Well, that makes things interesting.

[notimmaculate]

That is the precise word she employed afterward. Interesting. Especially so because we both recalled our conversation clearly.