(no subject)
I just read something that really inspired me. I realize things more now when I hear it from someone else. Its almost as if I woke up for the first time. Yes I thought about it, but no one really told me. I always have had an excuse for everything, but this one I don;t. As they say the true colors have to reveal some time. As each moment passes at 4:55 in the morning. It won't happen again. Think about it. It will never happen again. Yes it seems frightening at first, but when I think back. The things that I regret doing the most...It makes me who I am today and I am thankful for that. I personally don't care what you think about me whether I am a cokehead, coke addict, bitch, slut, whorre, ugly, skank, druggy, junky or whatever the names you called or call me to insult me. I will no longer cry over it. I am not afraid to say that I cried almost every night when people I thought cared about me called me that. I am not, but what I have realized is something that surpasses all of my life's accomplishments. What I have read that was written by Chris. Made me realize how precious life really is. I am really thankful that I am here today. I am really thankful I didn't take that away. I really thankful of the people that supported me. I am glad that how ever much I pushed my parents away they still held on to me with some little piece of hope they had for me. I am proud of who I am today. If the things that happened in the past months didn't happen. I would have never learned. I would probably be high right now walking in some random place, but I believe in fate. I believe in myself. I believe that life should not be taken for granted. The things around us may seem so lack of usage. I used to think parents and family where so stupid. I used to think they are only there to bother you and give you lectures about things you already knew, but they didn't know I knew that when you have sex the penis goes into the vagina. They thought I was still innocent. They thought they would never have the problems that they do today. I feel bad for what I did. I feel more than bad I feel horrible, incomplete, terrified, but I didn't know what was happening. I was too caught up in myself to realize there was other people in the world. I'm sorry for all those that I had hurt. I am sorry for everything I have done, but know is the time where I can truly say...I love you.