every good thing...comes to an end.
And here I am...I stand alone.
Crumbling into the many pieces I tried so hard to put back together...
what was once a tower of feel good energy...only to be turned into an uneasy game of "jenga"
toppling this way and that...when will it fall?
When will I fall?
every little piece of my life that I have built up to this very moment...slowly falls apart.
I'm back off the pills, can still keep my job...but my old and terrifying habits have returned.
I've lost 27lbs in 5 weeks.
How proud I am...that they don't know my secret.
Yet how much I hate myself for falling back into the void.
Part-boarding Mel is coming to an end...and I've only rode him once.
I have never felt so unwanted by Jenn in my entire life...
It feels like no matter what I do,
something in my life always stops me from following my dream...to ride.
To live to ride...has been taken away. My life on top of a horse has become...no more.
maybe I wasn't meant to do ANYTHING special in my life...to barely succeed at anything I do seems to be the way my life has gone so far.
I wanna stand out, and be noticed.
to be known as The Accomplished.
"the woman who become a somebody..."
Yet my dreams seem to only be dreams...no matter how hard I try
I always fall.
but this time...there's no one to pick me back up.
This time...
I stand alone.
Crumbling into the many pieces I tried so hard to put back together...
what was once a tower of feel good energy...only to be turned into an uneasy game of "jenga"
toppling this way and that...when will it fall?
When will I fall?
every little piece of my life that I have built up to this very moment...slowly falls apart.
I'm back off the pills, can still keep my job...but my old and terrifying habits have returned.
I've lost 27lbs in 5 weeks.
How proud I am...that they don't know my secret.
Yet how much I hate myself for falling back into the void.
Part-boarding Mel is coming to an end...and I've only rode him once.
I have never felt so unwanted by Jenn in my entire life...
It feels like no matter what I do,
something in my life always stops me from following my dream...to ride.
To live to ride...has been taken away. My life on top of a horse has become...no more.
maybe I wasn't meant to do ANYTHING special in my life...to barely succeed at anything I do seems to be the way my life has gone so far.
I wanna stand out, and be noticed.
to be known as The Accomplished.
"the woman who become a somebody..."
Yet my dreams seem to only be dreams...no matter how hard I try
I always fall.
but this time...there's no one to pick me back up.
This time...
I stand alone.