back on the radar
For a better account of the last week or so's fun and frolics, see rhymeoverreason who is far less lazy about updating than I am!
Well, life has been pretty good since I last posted...I went from being bored in Somerset to being nauseating at Steve's for a couple of days, then from there to Oxford where I indulged in paint-scraping, pub-hunting and catching up with various cool people...then to Belgium via Coventry. Brussels seems to be quite a funky city, or maybe it just takes being shown round by someone who's from there to make the bests bits visible. Either way, I seem to be getting more out of this trip than I did the entire month I spent inter-railing the summer after leaving school, which featured lots of veiled cat-fighting, a distinct lack of fun and an abysmal lack of planning (resulting in us consistently managing not to look at the guide-book to each city until we were on the train leaving it and going 'oh, we really should have gone here...').
We had a couple of days in Brussels and then got the coach to Amsterdam and checked into our hostel, which was surprisingly clean, quiet and drug-free (a rarity in that city and a welcome relief). Then we didn't really do any of the 'cultural' stuff, not least because Isabel was suffering with a grotesque infected uber-mouth-ulcer and I got a random stomach bug, but had a great time nonetheless sitting in coffee shops and trying various types of hash and weed (cautiously in my case) with varying degrees of success. I managed to exorcise the demons of my last Amsterdam trip (no pun intended) by not blacking out in the toilets of the 420 Cafe, and acquired myself a new porn-star name during one of our random stoned conversations. Dusty Hash-Fingers at your service...
Anyway despite random afflictions we had a great time - I'm not really a 'Drugs Person' but it was fun to take advantage of Dutch law, or lack thereof. I'd forgotten quite how sleazy people in Amsterdam can be sometimes though, but maybe it's because we ended up wandering around the red light district on Friday night which I don't think I did last time. It's amazing what men think they can get away with in busy, well-lit areas - guys were randomly grabbing at us both, hissing things and trying to follow us around. Not pleasant, especially not for a naive little country girl such as myself. But in general, the city itself isn't at all sleazy or sinister, just because it's so very open about everything that you don't get the impression of there being a sleazy underbelly as much as a proud, defiant and cheerful sleazy overcoat.
And rhymeoverreason has a new tattoo! It is a lovely little bunny leaping across the moon with a pair of stars, truly a thing of joy. I want one now, and was almost talked into going through with a design I've been mulling over for ages, until I suddenly had a brainwave - when I get home I'll ask my mother to help me plan it. That might sound a bit random but it feels right somehow, for lots of reasons. Firstly, she's an artist and I've always liked her style, secondly she'd (I hope) be touched, and thirdly she'd be flattered that I thought she was cool enough to ask to help me design a tattoo, and would therefore be less likely to disapprove (maybe you'd have to know her for that last one to make sense, but trust me on it). Not that my parents could really justify their disapproval if I got a tattoo at the age of 19 - luckily my brother's pushed the boundaries of their tolerance so far that I can probably get away with just about anything.
I'd really hoped that I would get my Mods results while we were in Amsterdam, so that I could drown and/or fumigate my sorrows in style, and had been checking my e-mail every day and getting more and more pissed off. Not as pissed off as I was when my brother phoned me an hour before we were due to get the coach back to Brussels to tell me that the letter had arrived, however. Oh well. I got a 2.1 anyway, but don't know my breakdown or average yet because Crap Tutor is apparently out of the country. I then had a four-hour bus ride to sit and process the information instead of getting spectacularly wasted.
It's weird - I genuinely was expecting to get a 2.1, but I was also expecting to feel fairly shit for not getting a First. But the main thing I feel
is relief. Relieved that I got what most people get and didn't embarrass myself by doing too badly, yes, but also relieved that I'm finally free of the pressure always to be the best that I (just like anyone who gets into Oxford) had when I was at school. Now I've proved to myself that I do vaguely deserve to be here, even if I'm never going to excel, and if I get my act together and do better at Finals, I'll be genuinely pleased rather than just relieved that I've lived up to the standard. And if I don't, it's not the end of the world. So yay.
Of course, this could all just be self-preservation bullshit and perhaps as soon as I get back to Oxford I will collapse into a heap of angst and inadequacy. But I had lots of time to examine how I felt about my 2.1-ness on that bus ride, and I decided that my only bitterness is with the fact that Dan (aka The Smuggest Bastard In The World) got a First and I didn't. I am genuinely OK with getting what most people at Oxford get, especially given that I've had a lot of good times with great people, a life outside college and a boyfriend in the last year. Well, I'm OK with it for now, at least.
Anyway, we now have five days or so to chill out in Brussels before we fly to Berlin to visit andy_godfrey, who has been wonderful and booked us a hostel, and Penny as well. I'm still suffering with this stupid stomach thing, which is unspeakably annoying, so have spent most of the day in bed unable to find the energy to move and feeling sorry for myself. Luckily this is a good place to be ill, as rhymeoverreason lives in a huge old house full of books and interesting things. A night of movie-watching and carefully sipping water awaits us now...mmmm......
Well, life has been pretty good since I last posted...I went from being bored in Somerset to being nauseating at Steve's for a couple of days, then from there to Oxford where I indulged in paint-scraping, pub-hunting and catching up with various cool people...then to Belgium via Coventry. Brussels seems to be quite a funky city, or maybe it just takes being shown round by someone who's from there to make the bests bits visible. Either way, I seem to be getting more out of this trip than I did the entire month I spent inter-railing the summer after leaving school, which featured lots of veiled cat-fighting, a distinct lack of fun and an abysmal lack of planning (resulting in us consistently managing not to look at the guide-book to each city until we were on the train leaving it and going 'oh, we really should have gone here...').
We had a couple of days in Brussels and then got the coach to Amsterdam and checked into our hostel, which was surprisingly clean, quiet and drug-free (a rarity in that city and a welcome relief). Then we didn't really do any of the 'cultural' stuff, not least because Isabel was suffering with a grotesque infected uber-mouth-ulcer and I got a random stomach bug, but had a great time nonetheless sitting in coffee shops and trying various types of hash and weed (cautiously in my case) with varying degrees of success. I managed to exorcise the demons of my last Amsterdam trip (no pun intended) by not blacking out in the toilets of the 420 Cafe, and acquired myself a new porn-star name during one of our random stoned conversations. Dusty Hash-Fingers at your service...
Anyway despite random afflictions we had a great time - I'm not really a 'Drugs Person' but it was fun to take advantage of Dutch law, or lack thereof. I'd forgotten quite how sleazy people in Amsterdam can be sometimes though, but maybe it's because we ended up wandering around the red light district on Friday night which I don't think I did last time. It's amazing what men think they can get away with in busy, well-lit areas - guys were randomly grabbing at us both, hissing things and trying to follow us around. Not pleasant, especially not for a naive little country girl such as myself. But in general, the city itself isn't at all sleazy or sinister, just because it's so very open about everything that you don't get the impression of there being a sleazy underbelly as much as a proud, defiant and cheerful sleazy overcoat.
And rhymeoverreason has a new tattoo! It is a lovely little bunny leaping across the moon with a pair of stars, truly a thing of joy. I want one now, and was almost talked into going through with a design I've been mulling over for ages, until I suddenly had a brainwave - when I get home I'll ask my mother to help me plan it. That might sound a bit random but it feels right somehow, for lots of reasons. Firstly, she's an artist and I've always liked her style, secondly she'd (I hope) be touched, and thirdly she'd be flattered that I thought she was cool enough to ask to help me design a tattoo, and would therefore be less likely to disapprove (maybe you'd have to know her for that last one to make sense, but trust me on it). Not that my parents could really justify their disapproval if I got a tattoo at the age of 19 - luckily my brother's pushed the boundaries of their tolerance so far that I can probably get away with just about anything.
I'd really hoped that I would get my Mods results while we were in Amsterdam, so that I could drown and/or fumigate my sorrows in style, and had been checking my e-mail every day and getting more and more pissed off. Not as pissed off as I was when my brother phoned me an hour before we were due to get the coach back to Brussels to tell me that the letter had arrived, however. Oh well. I got a 2.1 anyway, but don't know my breakdown or average yet because Crap Tutor is apparently out of the country. I then had a four-hour bus ride to sit and process the information instead of getting spectacularly wasted.
It's weird - I genuinely was expecting to get a 2.1, but I was also expecting to feel fairly shit for not getting a First. But the main thing I feel
is relief. Relieved that I got what most people get and didn't embarrass myself by doing too badly, yes, but also relieved that I'm finally free of the pressure always to be the best that I (just like anyone who gets into Oxford) had when I was at school. Now I've proved to myself that I do vaguely deserve to be here, even if I'm never going to excel, and if I get my act together and do better at Finals, I'll be genuinely pleased rather than just relieved that I've lived up to the standard. And if I don't, it's not the end of the world. So yay.
Of course, this could all just be self-preservation bullshit and perhaps as soon as I get back to Oxford I will collapse into a heap of angst and inadequacy. But I had lots of time to examine how I felt about my 2.1-ness on that bus ride, and I decided that my only bitterness is with the fact that Dan (aka The Smuggest Bastard In The World) got a First and I didn't. I am genuinely OK with getting what most people at Oxford get, especially given that I've had a lot of good times with great people, a life outside college and a boyfriend in the last year. Well, I'm OK with it for now, at least.
Anyway, we now have five days or so to chill out in Brussels before we fly to Berlin to visit andy_godfrey, who has been wonderful and booked us a hostel, and Penny as well. I'm still suffering with this stupid stomach thing, which is unspeakably annoying, so have spent most of the day in bed unable to find the energy to move and feeling sorry for myself. Luckily this is a good place to be ill, as rhymeoverreason lives in a huge old house full of books and interesting things. A night of movie-watching and carefully sipping water awaits us now...mmmm......