(no subject)
i dont understand cruelty. especially cruelty to a person who is hurting. to a person who you claim to love, were in-love with. how does one allow himself to become such a monster? how can a person keep themselves from caring for another human being, scream at them and call them names, put them down like they are going through nothing? how can one not understand the hurt the person they have told they do not love is now going through? how would you expect a person to act whos heart is being broken? not everyone can shove it out of their minds. forget. deny. convince themselves of so many things, when they were convinced otherwise for so long. its not healthy to do that. sure, its dealing, but its temporary, and actually, its not dealing. if you can feel so confident in a decision, you should be able to face it. face the person who you said you loved, who was the one, who you planned such a future with. take responsibility and be mature. understand that this person is facing a difficult time and not condem her for feelings and actions that any spurned lover would have and make. face and discuss, make closure and come to terms, as a pair, because it was not just you in the relationship, even if it is just you who made a choice. have some compassion. do not put up walls. do not run away. do not revert to old ways. its not right, though it may work for you now. and it is terrible, awful, heartless, to the person who said you loved.
and im sorry, but no one could ever truely be 100% sure of something like this, as you claim "not one teeny tiny part of me wants to be with you". if you dont hear your heart at all, you arent listening to it. how could one ever be so sure of matters dealing with love and the heart, something that meant so much only two weeks ago? the very act of stating such an impossibility shows an error in thinking, cloudiness. something is not being allowed to surface, not being allowed to be considered, not being allowed to be felt. and that is not healthy, not fair, and hurtful to you and to me.
all of the truth, not just what you choose to see, will come down on you, that i know. though i struggle with self-doubt at times, i know i am a good, caring, selfless, honest, person... and stronger than i thought. but what does what you are doing make you out to be? it surely shows who is capable of dealing, who is strong and who is weak, when i face and i deal and i work on myself, and you run away and hide, distract and alienate yourself, and talk with no one but biased parties.
i know the best will come of the situation, but i cant help but think it will come sooner to one who has open eyes not afraid of crying, an open mind that considers everything, and a true heart that is allowed to speak up and be heard, even if only to be broken.
and im sorry, but no one could ever truely be 100% sure of something like this, as you claim "not one teeny tiny part of me wants to be with you". if you dont hear your heart at all, you arent listening to it. how could one ever be so sure of matters dealing with love and the heart, something that meant so much only two weeks ago? the very act of stating such an impossibility shows an error in thinking, cloudiness. something is not being allowed to surface, not being allowed to be considered, not being allowed to be felt. and that is not healthy, not fair, and hurtful to you and to me.
all of the truth, not just what you choose to see, will come down on you, that i know. though i struggle with self-doubt at times, i know i am a good, caring, selfless, honest, person... and stronger than i thought. but what does what you are doing make you out to be? it surely shows who is capable of dealing, who is strong and who is weak, when i face and i deal and i work on myself, and you run away and hide, distract and alienate yourself, and talk with no one but biased parties.
i know the best will come of the situation, but i cant help but think it will come sooner to one who has open eyes not afraid of crying, an open mind that considers everything, and a true heart that is allowed to speak up and be heard, even if only to be broken.